Nessa's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | Missery's Company ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

long day, short week [28 Feb 2004|04:01pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | something by someone...:) ]

Well, this week was typically uneventful...
i arrived back to school from my much awaited spring break, and nearly died on monday, i was ssoooo tired and exhausted cuz my bastard of a brother would not get off the phone or tv sunday night, and I could not get to sleep. Lord of the couch, is what he'd be called if they made a movie about him.
It would star him, a phone, and a really bad anime show he'd be watching and praising the fabulous missing story line. What would simon say about my lil bro? Pain in the Ass? He stinks like 5 day old tuna? Hes an ass?
ahh... simon, my hero, and i dont even watch that godforsaken show...*shudders* ugh! american idol and canadian idol can kiss my ass.
The shows are complete wastes of time and talents, and the people that win, will be on a biography movie 20 years from now, each wondering what happened in their lives after they got out of their own distinctive rehabs.
Their worse then child stars, they arn't even stars!
They are just network supported madeover nobody's that have a bit of talent, but mostly image that makes such company's look "good".
I doubt clay aiken and kelly would ever ever pull a Justing and Janet, well not without going to confessional first and asking their agents if it would be ok and would they hold their hand?
now THAT is hilarious!

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Sunday with a slurpee [15 Feb 2004|07:00pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | The Joker- Steve Miller Band *thumbs Up* ]

Good day to all,
sunday has come and gone, and a full weekend of working is finally completed!
I am extremely happy, it has been a long busy weekend, not to mention tiring.
Last night i worked with assface and as per usual he was a total ass, damn is he ugly!
Get over yourself assface!
I was just updating my blurty, while sippin my slurpee and hoping that something good is on tv tonight, perhaps a movie of sorts, I dunno, something remotely entertaining will do, even if i had seen it before. Its what sunday nite is all about.
Of course I COULD watch masterpiece theatre.... LMAO!
is that an option?
Cuzin's were over last night, Jenna's and Chasers, yeah for them. Jenna was sleeping and snored, lol, poor jenna, I only make fun of you out of love! :P
Worked as well, CJ wanted me to help out at ALS thingy, couldn't cuz of work at home, then work work. sigh... i wish i had more time for meeeeeee! :(
One Day!
Looking forward to summer more and more, yeah summer *waves a yay summer sign*
anyone else winter-depressed yet?
anymore snow and I'll hurl!

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Spring Break-Reading Week Begins! *Tumpets Sound* [13 Feb 2004|02:52pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Have You Ever Seen the Rain-CCR ]

Well here i am on the brink of spring break and im am fantabulous, thank you very much! Its been a weird first semester, i've been studying my ass off as of the second week of January, 3 exams, and one term paper due, of which I got an A, the other paper i sent in hasn't gotten back to me. So whatever, lets just say nessa has A's!
Winter is still upon me and I am feeling rather chilled by it, its starting to piss me off, everywhere you turn there is snow and more snow upon that snow, and then some. Whats up with this?
I want to go outside, take my dog for a walk, be able to wait at the bus stop for 5 minutes without my skin turning blue and falling off.
Subcutaneous tissue it is!
Ah, still trying to shed the pounds, hoping I'll meet my summer goal(S) it is strangely hard, and I blame it on the pill and insentive cravings it makes me feel! Grrr... pill.!!!!
But aside from that bit of personal information, life is a bitch, and today being the friday the 13th, and tomorrow being valentine's day i say fuck the commercial industry for creating such a politically taxable, marketing holiday, that even when i was with someone i was totally against.
I sound like a bitter forty year old, unweded spinster, that sits around all day watching soap opera's and eating chocolate. No, twil not be me, I'll be changing bedpans, oh joy, and checkin bp's and vitals.
Yeah, nursing!
I will never be alone!
I want the fonz teeshirt, really bad, I'm thinking on my spring break week I will be going to value village and diving into the piles of old 70's clothes, ignoring the odd smell of death to them and trying to find one such like it... or maybe i will do something else!
what a concept!
Superstore makes me feel angry. I dont like working there, But i will cuz i have to.
I like the money and I just got a raise, horay!
icecream is evil, stay away, i do not like ice cream, it is too cold and sweet tasting, ahh! back off! *fights of impending ice cream with a chair*
There is no good movies out these days, nothing I can waste my 8.50 on and I am troubled, I will have to go pay my late fee to Block Buster soon to rent some of teh better ones that have gone through there times.
4, it seems like so much longer then four months...
the 13th will never be a good day for me, for as long as I live.
Its like a shadow covering my smiles, and dark clouds amid a forced rainbow.
I never have stopped thinking of dad.
Don't ever think i will, and how people take advantage, what stories I hear now, the masks that are removed to reveal ugliness and greed. How we are alone as of now, amid promises of never, how we are lonely, amid one another, as the phone lays vacant on the hook, the last call from a telemarketer, that stayed on the line for hours, just so we could connect with another human voice.
No one understands, they look at my home like the house of death. To go there brings sadness, and would only make them feel bad, but to us, it is a house. That no one will come to, venture across their own inhibitions to hold out the olive branch, and talk or listen, or sit there and be.
How come people treat it like a disease, death? It happens, why must we keep silent about it, why does no one care that it has only been 4 months, and the pain has not lestened, but quieted by what you told us when you said nothing.
If I can laugh, if i can triumph over such a loss, and still look to tomorrow, why can you not smile with me, and hold my hand for today?

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New Years Eve... the Novel [01 Jan 2004|07:49pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]
[ music | Mony, Mony-Billy Idol ]

lets start this journal off to a hey, its been a while...
now that we're done with that...
yup... i did as i just wrote there in third was interesting... i think i'll do it again some time, but right now i am suffering from a nasty hangover... shit...yah... sick allllllll this morning since 2 am puckin and ew
i dont suggest trying this... as it is quite the uncool thingy... bein sick and all,but the part where it feels like ur walking on bubble wrap is AWESOME and teh increase in confidense a bonus.
I kinda knew that i was going to get totally pissed, ok, but i did not expect to get entirely hammered as i did and in the toilet... new experience for me and one to bring in the new year with...
a burning feeling at the back of ur throat, a nasty taste gum just wont take away...
the morning after...
never has that saying applied so directly to me and my new years eve story...

i do not even want to THINK of vodka or rye or any of that shit right now, as the thought makes me gag. So i'm going to go to my room and watch crappy reruns on TV

...we'll at least not for another hour (as quoted from the ceejmeister)


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Christmas, here I Come! [18 Dec 2003|04:42pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | burger kind christmas... DING fries are done! ]

Christmas party last nite, was ok, good times, bitchy security guards, not gonna see my friends til after xmas but ya.
now back to regular business.
bizatch! i finally got my money to USE for stopping the shoplifter. Fucking hate pc debit, aparently when you put money into the debit you can't use it for 14 fucking days!!!! FUCK! i was broke for two weeks cuz i went crazy thinking i had money, nope. BROKAGE AINT KEWL! i hate superstore so much more... fucking... pc shit... aaaaahhhh...
went to the docs again their worried nessa may have skin cancer, told to be much more careful cuz this is the second time they're gonna have to remove and test and that someone with my complexion should wear spf30 all the time, not just at the beach. Fuck more surgery... i just hope its ok like the others cuz she's worried it bein to close to my spine and all.
meh... not gonna worry til next month.
Diagnosed with asthma, now i must be on constant inhaler... boourns to that.
got my free no baby pills, lol yesh, tis good!
gotta go for bloodwork times a million and xrays for my spine and such... worried about shit, im not gonna be scared, too many times its nothing.. right?
nessa worried.....
change of topic
Christmas is in
7 days, 7 hours, 11 minutes
whoo hoo!
what does everybody want other then sex?

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Tired... Weekend....Over [07 Dec 2003|08:04pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Paradise City - Guns n Roses ]

Wow, the weekend is finally over... i never thought i would actually be writing this but mixing pain (that is work) to pleasure (that is not work) can be volatile at times. Take yesterday and the missing the key, therefore missing work ness that occured, to the tired morning stupid buses of now.
Pharoh's friday, lol i felt like such a third wheel after everyone left, thank God for next friday where i can hang more with friends as friends not couples. Still had fun amid the awkward moments lol, wanted to dance, and was drunk yet couldnt stand.. all fun!
Taxi costed 15 dollars shit! thats fucking expensive and he went sooooooooooo sloooooooooow...
got 300 dollars for stopping a shoplifter, finally, i caught her in June.
Fucking annoying guy at work that bitches about fucking everything talked to me YET again... ahhh! fuck off u!!! i hate u!!! stop complaining to me! i DONT CARE.... ur prolly not reading this, dammit... but at least i feel better writing it
Christmas is wearing me out... how will christmas be?

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Boogey Nights...ew! booger! [02 Dec 2003|09:08pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Keep On Rockin Me Baby-Steve Miller Band ]

Hey all,
wow, lets recap here on this lovely December 2nd, of our year 2003.
Yes, friday was a blast and nessa was tres drunkly... and grinded with some random strangers, and grabbed ones ass, and was quite friendly with a few others there that Friday.... GO ME! lol anyways, a few items that night i do not recall as much as others, slighlty hazy from the vodka i was downing, but i remember enough to know i had a good time. Cept for those girls that i think liked my large behind... they touched my ass, and not like once or twice which woulda been all meh... but 4 times and i was kinda whoa, ok... um, perverts? lol but i knocked their drinks over so it was all good! lol not on purpose, i was going off this platformy thingy and they had put them on the stairs, understand it was hard enough going down the stairs, at least WARN me, "hey, my drinks there" lol, but no! nothing!
Anyways, a good night had by all, Saturday morning comes, a slightly pissed off hangover feeling of wanting to sleep more, but not sick because my friends were not mixed that night (score!) but after 8 and a half hours of workin and such nessa was fucking tired man... FUCKING TIRED! my smile was hurting, and ppl were like "yo, wheres the smile bo?" and i was like "fuck u motherfuka" and it was great!
Friday again, this December 7ths wes be goin to pharohs again with cuzin ryan so he can fall for my friend Nicki, whom both have the hots for each others grad pictures. I am blonde now, lovin it, the amonia seeped into my brain, lovin that too.... (does blonde girlish teehee type laugh)
last day of university b4 the break (SWING!)
love u all
What comes after the alphabet?

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Well, Good Day [12 Nov 2003|09:39pm]
[ mood | artistic ]
[ music | *crunch* taking bite of apple ]

Today is the 12th, day after remembrance day, and im here to recap and i stared at my recent entry and wondered what the hell i was on! Gawd, that was a bad day for me, the day after seeing my coucillor i think and i was totally emotional, the pain in the chest you keep swallowing and the more you want to cry. I dunno, i just keep thinking about christmas and it hurts like hell... like a bad hell... like the kind where dragqueens dont dance around in thongs and do splits *shudders* lol, lisa yall know what im referring to. Im jealous, damn those guys were hot women! lol but the drag kings were fat... so yah, nothing special there lol. I was at Nickis today, went through her "history" books, watched her grow up (awww.... lil baby!)lol talked of cousin ryan and how i told him about Nicki and her slight obsession with wanting to meet him and have him come to daytona with us. Gotta luv couzin ryan, he's definitely kewl, one of a kind compared to most guys, he deserves Nicki and Nicki deserves him (also so i can keep tabs on his love life and tease him about it late lol) nah, jk!
but ya, he seemed pleased especially the all (him being quite the tall one) the blonde (him being a human being likes blonde, i dunno) and the farmers daughter (grew up on a farm+ worked it too= respect for the potential lol)
him, couzin jessica, and i are supposed to make plans to go clubbin it sometime, not til after i pay tuitions i said, yah, i hope i can work oober hours and make some moohla, so ya chachingchaching...
trying to pay that AND go on trip to daytona, really want to bus road trip florida beaches from Feb15-21, come on people you know you want to come, give in and join, PLUS 5 ppl=cheaper!!!!!!!!
luv u all,
mmmmm........... pie

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Desperate [08 Nov 2003|01:05am]
How do i go on? How do i continue with life? How do i do anything anymore? im so lost, so confused, so tired, angry, sad, depressed, exhausted, faking it with everything i do. How can i continue with this charade of being stronger then i am? of taking shit for doing nothing? of everyone being uncaring selfish hurtful people. STOP TREATING ME LIKE A FUCKING THROW RUG GOD DAMMIT!
im so tired, im so sad, im so lost......i havent screamed since dad passed away, i just want to scream, and scream and never stop. Im having the bad visions agian before i go to sleep, i keep seeing him die, and i cant stop it, and cry and i cry and no one cares anymore... they ignore me. My pain makes people awkward, and therefore makes me bottle my emotions so i dont bring them down.
Passive, im passive, im a fucking throw rug... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAWD... when does this stop hurting so much? i dont have time for this pain, i cant handle all this work these pressures and my pain! it takes control of my life and i cant function... i cant do anything, i cant do what i want to do! I dont want to abandon mom, but im tired of my own pain, i just wish everyone could be normal, so i could pretend dad would be calling in a few days from yellowknife, so i could do my school work and finish so many projects i have to do. im tired, im worn, im frustrated with myself.... i need peace... and thats something i dont feel ill ever find in life.
im lost...
im so lost...
and alone.
oh dad...
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Tired, Friday YEAH! [07 Nov 2003|12:09pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | humming of many empty computers huuuuummmmm ]

Well, its friday, and in reference to the subject and post below, i was having a very bad day, my anatomy exam was lower then i expected and thats not all that started the day off on teh wrong foot! I had to get up early, thursday being lab day, and i didnt sleep the night before very well, like today when i know i slept, but feel entirely crappy too.
Well the reason i was so down and out yesterday was i had this dream with dad the night before, and he hugged me and then suddenly i was seeing how dad would be if he had survived the heart attack. How empty and lifeless he was, how terrified i was to see him only sitting still, it bothered me extremly and i feel quite anxious with all the projects i have due soon, so i was just a mess of blah yesterday.
todays better, i think i may be coming down with something, i actually WANT to go to work, I'm looking forward to it you might say.:P
I may go out saturday nite, depends whose available and if there's any rides around. Maybe I'll just go see a movie or what not, hey if willa's free maybe we'll go to the casino *ching, ching*
anyways, i prolly end up doing nothing, but in that case, i'll work on my time management i need to finish before the weekends done, then i have the lovely gigantic research paper for intro to u on thurs due, gotta start that. THen i have the nursing research paper due the next week on tuesday, by the time dec comes around i'll look like a computer, meep!
well folks, take care (im in teh agriculture/sciences building right now) and i love it
just printed out about 100 pages worth of material i have to go over, take care now, tootles!!!

1 comment|post comment

I am tired...and even more tired... [06 Nov 2003|07:54pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I feel entirely depressed again today but you wouldnt know it by looking at me. I've decided to stop being so meh around friends, because around them is the only happiness i get throughout the day. At home its a hell hole and im constantly under attack from someone or another... i dont think i could tell anyone the way moms been lately, but i've been taking the brunt of it, my councillor is worried for me, and i told her its gotten to the point where i dont give a damn anymore... im broken, im done i dont give a fuck...
im always yelled at for everything... why do i even bother trying? why do i even bother coming home? im a fucking adult and get treated like a piece of shit... not appreciated whatsoever.
she said i was "passive" and that i "let people walk all over me" well yeah, i knew that, im afraid of confrontations and throughout my life moms aggression towards me has made me become the passive person i am, im everyones throw rug, walk all over me i dont give a damn. wipe your feet everyone else has, then kick me into a closet when you dont want me around anymore because i get in your way.
im tired as stated above, im tired of life... im just so sick and tired...
i've stopped crying now, i cant grieve anymore, i cant do anything anymore, my brothers are just attacking and yelling at me all the time, and when i try to defend myself im the one that gets screamed at.
Moms only pushing me away more and more, i hate coming home... maybe one day i wont
oh dad... what do i do? i 've tried and given all i could, there's nothing left in me anymore...
im just so tired...

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Day off... totally and completely [03 Nov 2003|05:11pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Black Balloon-GooGooDolls<---im a crazy fan yall ]

well, today was my slacker day in heaven numero 1 since starting university in september. Dont get me wrong, i helped mom clean like mad today too, but i stayed in my sweats and hoody so comfy, never want to leave them ever again!
Updated my site too like crazy, i worked on it for 3 hourse (minus the intervals whilst cleaning/bathroom breaks/chatting with friends) so pls do check it out.
Lisa, kater, and Faiza, i added u to my links page, enjoy, didnt update the pics yet cuz i wanna get a camera and take pictures of my friends at school and at the bar and such (gasp, missed my bday, only horrible sunday morning after pics lol jk)
anywho, just checking up on my blurty, nearly forgotten it was.
CANNOT wait until LOTR-Return of the King comes out to theatres, matrix reloaded comes wednesday, am going to attack with teh rabid crowds :D
anyone wanna come? keanu gets naked (yum! canadian ass)
reply svp!

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Week 1 Since He's been Gone [20 Oct 2003|07:13pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Have you ever seen the rain-CCR ]

Writing again, seems appropriate i am making a religion out of this... *sighs*
well today was back to school and it was harsh reality washing over me again as life went on as normal, and people still smiled and the sun shined. I mean i didnt even miss my bus! it was a good day, and i feel horrible. Mel, Laura, Nicki, Lisa, Faiza, kater, Jen, all of you, thanks alot, and im really sorry should i have missed anyone. Egads, my bday is coming up... what to do, what to do.... im really not up for exciting let me plan it months ahead of time stuff anymore, i dont know what i want to do, or where i want to go, or if i even want to go out yet. Maybe i'll have a small somewhat shingdig with you guys at like, pizza hut or something along the less classy inexpensive lines... or whatever... if kaitlynd has something planned, do not even think twice you guys, go for it cuz im sure i'll be a major downer. hey i already am. lol :P dont send me to the depressed psycho ward yet, thats christmas ;)
no but seriously folks, i feel nearly cried out, until those peer advisors were talking to me, then i kinda poured, but THEN i was fine!
more flowers today, more phone calls, mom really appreciates all the stuff im doing to help her out, i wonder if she realizes im going to do this forever. im not just going to quit on her like alot of people have. Its so unfair her life has been, losing all these people that are close to her, that she loves so much, needs so much, its hard to find purpose when you look in her eyes. but pardon the depression once again people, you all must be getting tired of me... i know i am, lol...
take care all, love to all of you and big hugs of thanks and your all great
(blonde moment?)

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[19 Oct 2003|05:16pm]
Are you a God? by Demonac
God/Goddess type:Celebrity (for no good reason)
Worshippers:Monks (think Gregorian chant)
They show devotion by:Not working on the sabbath
Created with quill18's MemeGen!
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I'm Free [19 Oct 2003|04:54pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

This is a poem we chose for my dad, it has given me much peace, and eased the ache from my heart, i would like to share it with you:

I'm Free

Dont grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God has laid you see
I took His had, when i heard His call,
I turned my back and left it all

I could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work, to play
tasks left undone must stay that way
I found the peace at the close of day

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things, I too will miss

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
I've savoured much, good friends
Good times, a loved one's touch

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Dont lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee
God wanted me now, He set me free....

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Good Bye Dad [17 Oct 2003|12:11am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Well, today is thursday and with lack of better things to do right now at 12:12 am, i decided to vent slightly in my journal.
Dear journal,
to put it bluntly my dad passed away on monday...
ever since then i havent slept, i've eaten little, and for the last 3 days i had lost all purpose in what to do with my life. Dad was such a big guy to me... i was so much like him, i looked up to him sooooo much and i miss him like hell. My heart just aches...:'(
I've cried and i've cried, but then there have been moments when smiles have graced my face and i've even laughed. Shaunti, my baby cousin, was the first to make me laugh since monday, she grabbed my toes when i was staring off into space and looked at me in awe as her whole hand fit around my big toe. She is the cutest thing in the world, how my dads death left her so unaffected. baby's are so comforting.
today we had the prayers for my dad, it was the hardest so far to see him in the casket. to know this was the final goodbye and i would never again see him... he was cold but he still felt like dad. Missing his glasses, but he wasnt wearing them monday when it happened anyway.
so many people offer their support, i love you guys for being there for me, but i just would like to be alone sometimes, go places and laugh without thinking about it. Meggers, Lisa, Jen, my god you guys are like angels. I swear tonight would've been so much harder if you guys hadnt been there. Thanks for making me smile and laugh. staying as long as you did, you guys are so super, so great... thank you so much. As well as kater and everyone else that couldnt attend, i felt your sympathies and i thank you for them.
monday was the hardest most difficult day in my life... and i can say this knowing not another day would be as painful as that one.
that morning i woke up to dads smiling face with the newpaper showing that the place we vacationed at in august had burned down (minaki lodge you may have heard)
he made us breakfast, ate breakfast himself i took a shower, went downstairs as he was helping mom do dishes
mom went downstairs to bring up potatoes for thanksgiving supper when she heard this loud thump. she ran upstairs and started shrieking for devin. and we both ran upstairs and saw dad lying on the floor, making noises nad moving his arms trying to breath. i rolled him on his back, he'd hit the coffee table and was bleeding. i pulled his shirt collar down to help him breath better then tilted his head back to open his airway, but he was trying to breath through his nose, and gritted his mouth shut. I opened his mouth, and yelled at him to calm down not knowing it was a heart atttack, because he seemed to be having a seizure. daddy looked at me then, his eyes focusing on mine for a split moment, and i saw there "im sorry, good bye" then they faded and his eyes closed. i didnt need to check his pulse because I knew then he had passed away but the paramedics came seconds later and tried everything... CPR, they gave him these shots 4 times, and they shocked him 3 times but not once did his pulse return.
thats the whole story... and i have nothing else to say
good night and so long people, i wont be home this wknd i dont think.
thank you once again for everything.
my dad would have appreciated it as well.

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Dont be so quick to... walk away... dance with me :) [09 Oct 2003|07:49pm]
[ mood | amused ]

hey ppl!
im feelin GOOD right now... had a pretty bad day, got sickly *hack, cough, gag* but hey, im still alive... can't really say i have my health, but hey! im not dying... that i know of... hmmm... coming slightly down from my happy high *squeal of air coming out of a balloon*
xcuse e moi
(oh that was such bad french english, but hey canada is bilingueal so thats my patriotism right there, the spelling mistakes being the show that YES canada is as well corrupt as any government run country)HAHAHA that was total BS showing yes in turn, i am a quarter american, so theirs my american patriotism *snort*
*bobs head to Justin Timberlake "Rock Your Body"* gawd i oober hate this guy... but his music is incredibly addicting... like crack, its bad for you, makes you hallucinate, act like a whore to get more money to get more of the smack and make your kids grow up addicted to it since birth and above all causes u to dance to its addicting rhthym (WARNING: MAY CAUSE EXCESS dance/bobheadig)
anywho, CSI is on 2nite, happy am i
today was harsh as perusual... had to pay 10 cents for photocopy *gasps* lol, dear gawd i know! dipping into the savings.
(when we break up does that mean you have better people to fuck then me? - thought of the day)
went to zoology, diehl jones is totally rocking sox worthy, he's awesome krazy kewl, i like him cuz he gives us candy! no one in highschool even gives us candy anymore!!!!! but only if we get the answer right (of course theirs an initiative)
Prof Mushey in intro to u gave me the stuff we were to do today, i was totally wrecked, i dont think i woulda been able to handle that class and the gym... 1and a half hour workout, not bad did about 200 curl ups, 20 on the stairythingy, used the machines, lifted weights... maybe i'll be in shape for xmas *eyes light up* meh, i can dream...
i feel depressedly lol
time to go watch CSI!!!!!
YEAH!!! go thursdays

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Hot...Sticky...Smelly...BUSES!!!:@:@ [08 Oct 2003|02:57pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | the sound of kids walking on my lawn *crunch, crunch* ]

Hey everyone, long time no read (whoa, that was clever, slow down nessa!)
but anyways, for the folks that still have the air conditioning running opposed to last weeks freezing temps and snow, i salute u and was wondering if i could come over... just until the cold front hits us again as its SUPPOSED to in October (when i pull out my winter parka, i damn well better be wearing it!)
but besides that, ugh, did not want to go to classes today (what? and i do any other day???) but at least i went to psychology which im thinking is now a total waste of time cuz she's copyin it all outta the book just like every other prof... WHY do we even HAVE prof's if everything is going to be textbook material anyways???
is there a point for me wasting 4 grand on classes that dont really do anything??? *pissed off* ugh! anger... and im spent...
but besides all that, my computer is getting uber slower and slowly lately... aside from the bunkness that is i cant burn any cd's on my CD burner (bitchass crap!) i keep getting all these damn adult hyperlink pop ups cuz SOMEONE *looking at the males of the house* keeps going to porn-oh excuse me- "ADULT" sites... gawd! another one! oh goody! let me see ur site about amatuer-pornstars-girls-that-once-lived-in-tcona.
*sits back tired* why am i so wrecked... bah! tired... hot...hmmm....... my dog smells bad... i think she eats fishfood...ew
anywho, until i update about more unimportant shit
doo doo dododo ___ ___ (guess the next ones!!!)

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There's no Such Things as Weekends anymore... [05 Oct 2003|08:33pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | If I could Fall In Love (ugh I know!) lenny kravtiz ]

Well, this weekend totally sucked a big left nut, and when i say this i am not exaggerating at all...please note, i have been a at superstore this weekend longer then any of the SUPERVISORS!!! Friday-Saturday-Sunday... why dont i just get a little bed in superstore to sleep in since i'll be going back within 10 hours of each shift anyways... *sighs* i am muchly depressed rite now i dunno, i get this way sometimes.
Totally rad and crazy one minute, the next im contemplating the meaning of "to be, or not to be" etc. Weird stuff, you wouldnt expect it from me now, but hell, who expects what from me? I dont even know what to expect from me... i think the reason my happy levels are low is cuz my first customer today got me in a really mad mood and i had to force myself into an uberhappy mood or i'd totally die before the day was done and that woudl be tres bad... like dried cottage cheese smell.
see? didnt expect that did u... heh heh heh...*sighs again while typing aimlessly about my boring wknd*
everyone seemed to have good wknds. lol. Kate's are always so interesting to read, i can actually here her voice when i read it lol, and lisa's always make me laugh cuz she's usually making fun of someone in it hehehe... msn, nobodies home *wind whistles through the trees*
Hey ppl, my bdays in 21 days 21 FUCKING DAYS AND I'LL BE ALLOWED TO........... vote :D
im feeling better now that im venting... MOM BOUGHT APPLE CIDER!!! no more will i have to wait at stupid second cup for their overpriced ciderygoodnessjustaddwater!
wow, my dad sounds like an almost exconvict!!:D *giggles*
this is how dull my life has become... defined by my midterms and such... geez im bored beyond all hell.... think i'll take a bath..yes...bath... :D

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I should be studying...ppsha! [02 Oct 2003|07:08pm]
[ mood | listless ]
[ music | the sound of the fishtank... no it is NOT a band ]

Well, being the day before my first major test in psychology i probably should be studying, but i worked on "mypsychlab" for a half an hour, and after i write this i shall continue with the deadly hardcover downstairs... in my hole i call i room. i am freakin tired and dreamt last night that there were voices telling me to go upstairs and open all the windows otherwise my family would die, then i sleepwalked/halfawake and was in the bathroom trying not to trip over the tub i just couldnt seem to go through (k, apparently i thought i could walk through bathtubs... this is what happens to sleep deprived university students :P ) i decided not to tell any of you this cuz well lets face, u all think im a stoner already :D
yeah, may as well face the obvious, i dont need substance to fall of the rocker... or rockers...
the busride home was interesting, i decided to get out of intro to u class early so i could catch the 5o'clock bus and hot guy with the long hair was on it and sat next to me *drools/faints/orgasms* lol, damn he's fine... maybe its just cuz hes tallish and has long hair... 2 of my 5 fetishes, and hes go great eyes, theres number 3... the last two are if i actually got to talk to him (personality and humor) and big negative is if he's one of those hardcore fans of something utterly stupid and ridiculous... oh lets say like lame ass fake wrestling (yeah, i can hear all the loser diehard wrestling fans yelling "its not fake, its real" and you are the idiots that buy their overpriced merchandise)
i dont even wanna go into that department... *shudders at repressed memories*
anywho, once again i am tired from my night of unsleep... therefore i shall cut this short and bid u all adieu... i hope thats goodnight in french or something in the form of a goodbye... its horrible when u try to say things in other languages and u say it just that little bit wrong and somehow u insulted the person by sayin u want to fuck their goats...

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