||Have You Ever Seen the Rain-CCR
Well here i am on the brink of spring break and im am fantabulous, thank you very much! Its been a weird first semester, i've been studying my ass off as of the second week of January, 3 exams, and one term paper due, of which I got an A, the other paper i sent in hasn't gotten back to me. So whatever, lets just say nessa has A's!
Winter is still upon me and I am feeling rather chilled by it, its starting to piss me off, everywhere you turn there is snow and more snow upon that snow, and then some. Whats up with this?
I want to go outside, take my dog for a walk, be able to wait at the bus stop for 5 minutes without my skin turning blue and falling off.
Subcutaneous tissue it is!
Ah, still trying to shed the pounds, hoping I'll meet my summer goal(S) it is strangely hard, and I blame it on the pill and insentive cravings it makes me feel! Grrr... pill.!!!!
But aside from that bit of personal information, life is a bitch, and today being the friday the 13th, and tomorrow being valentine's day i say fuck the commercial industry for creating such a politically taxable, marketing holiday, that even when i was with someone i was totally against.
I sound like a bitter forty year old, unweded spinster, that sits around all day watching soap opera's and eating chocolate. No, twil not be me, I'll be changing bedpans, oh joy, and checkin bp's and vitals.
I will never be alone!
I want the fonz teeshirt, really bad, I'm thinking on my spring break week I will be going to value village and diving into the piles of old 70's clothes, ignoring the odd smell of death to them and trying to find one such like it... or maybe i will do something else!
what a concept!
Superstore makes me feel angry. I dont like working there, But i will cuz i have to.
I like the money and I just got a raise, horay!
icecream is evil, stay away, i do not like ice cream, it is too cold and sweet tasting, ahh! back off! *fights of impending ice cream with a chair*
There is no good movies out these days, nothing I can waste my 8.50 on and I am troubled, I will have to go pay my late fee to Block Buster soon to rent some of teh better ones that have gone through there times.
4 months...wow, it seems like so much longer then four months...
the 13th will never be a good day for me, for as long as I live.
Its like a shadow covering my smiles, and dark clouds amid a forced rainbow.
I never have stopped thinking of dad.
Don't ever think i will, and how people take advantage, what stories I hear now, the masks that are removed to reveal ugliness and greed. How we are alone as of now, amid promises of never, how we are lonely, amid one another, as the phone lays vacant on the hook, the last call from a telemarketer, that stayed on the line for hours, just so we could connect with another human voice.
No one understands, they look at my home like the house of death. To go there brings sadness, and would only make them feel bad, but to us, it is a house. That no one will come to, venture across their own inhibitions to hold out the olive branch, and talk or listen, or sit there and be.
How come people treat it like a disease, death? It happens, why must we keep silent about it, why does no one care that it has only been 4 months, and the pain has not lestened, but quieted by what you told us when you said nothing.
If I can laugh, if i can triumph over such a loss, and still look to tomorrow, why can you not smile with me, and hold my hand for today?