| rules for "dating" and "boyfriends" |
[07 Sep 2003|10:11pm] |
- You have to live a bus-route away, even if you have a car.
- You can't be boring. Hint: your Halo score is not interesting, and neither are stories of people you know who died.
- Bad kissers are a huge turnoff. I want to feel lips and tongue, not air. And you aren't trying to swallow me. Christ.
- I'm not going to like you if you never spend the night after sex.
- Speaking of sex, would it kill you to take charge once in a while? Or every time? I need someone who can take charge in the bedroom.
- I know it's asking a lot for a man to not be an emotional cripple, but if you have trouble telling your anger from grief, you might want to look into that.
- I don't want to date people who believe in God.
- If I can't feel your sternum when I touch your chest, I probably am not going to be turned on enough to have sex with you. It's really nothing personal.
- Please don't fall in love with me on the first date. I mean, I'm not THAT cool. Third date is fine.
- We must get along. I'm easy-going, but when I first meet someone I can be very shy. It's your job to make me comfortable, either by talking real sweet to me or being personable or, well, feeding me alcohol.
- You must NOT be a spaz. I'm a pretty quiet person, so you can be louder than me, but my spaz-smoove has lost its appeal.
- I really don't want a guy over 5'10", but 6' is the absolute limit.
- You don't have to dress to kill all the time, but we should match sometimes. T-shirts are ok if they show off your chest.
*When I say "date" I mean "hang out with and have sex with perhaps in the hopes of it leading to something more serious." By "more serious" I mean of course a boyfriend. There's a lot more stuff I want for that, though.
Boyfriend Requirements
All of the above, plus:
- I refuse to get serious with someone who doesn't put forth a pursuit. I mean, I have a life, so don't assume that if I say "I have plans" that I'm just shunting you out. How can I tell that you like me if you never try to get me out?
- If I've slept with you and keep hanging out with you, there's probably very little chance I'll turn you down for sex. So go ahead and attack me as much as you want.
- Sense of humor very important. I have a dry cutting sense of humor and it's great fun to spar against someone who can play verbal tennis. Otherwise it's doomed. Everyone thinks they have a sense of humor, even if they don't really. If I don't think you're funny, guess what...
- No ethical vegetarians/vegans. I don't give a fuck about animal rights, and animals are tasty.
- No blind party line followers. No person/ideology has all the right answers, and I am just going to mercilessly mock you till you start crying or something.
- You don't have to have perfect grammar/spelling, but you have to care about it. I don't correct people out of malice, I correct people b/c I'm anal.
- I don't give a fuck about sports or video games or cars, and if you're cool with me not wanting to be around you while you're geeking out over these things, that's all fine.
- I am also not overly into outdoor activities, but with the right company I can indulge. Once a year.
- I want to travel and if you don't, well, have fun staying at home.
- I want a literate boyfriend. He doesn't have to like the same novels that I do, but I can't fall for a guy who doesn't read fiction.
- While I don't want someone who thinks Star Trek Novelizations are high art, I get really mad at people who sneer at the SF/F genres. I admit stuff is crap and some is good. Hell, I even like some jazz, and I hate jazz in principle.
- Music, yes, we don't have to like the same music, but you have to be kind of into it. Keeping abreast of new stuff, not just listening to Led Zeppelin or New Order.
- I am obsessed with movies and quote them incessantly. I hate people who only watch Hollywood Blockbusters, but I also hate people who sneer at all of them. And I don't really want to educate you in what all the good movies from 1995-2001 are, even though I do know.
- You have to be willing to be exclusive with me. If you aren't, then, well, I can't call you my "boyfriend."
- Equal partnership. I don't want to feel like I'm the one doing all "the work."
- You have to get me gifts. It doesn't have to be expensive stuff, but just anything to show me you're thinking about me. It could be a cool jacket I pointed out to you, it could be an erotic VM message.
- Finally you have to fall in love with me. Not immediately but at some point, and you'll have to say it first.
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