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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Katalia Ivy Savage's Blurty:
| Thursday, March 24th, 2005 | |
| 12:10 pm | hell!!!!!!! let the hell begin, i am going crazy and i dont know why, but thats ok i think because at least i can only pull down the people responceable for it!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!! take that you psychotic assholes. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: NONE!!!!! INSANITY IS UPON ME! |
| Thursday, March 3rd, 2005 | |
| 2:18 pm | i donno what to think. i'm in an odd mood for some odd reason. i guess one could say i feel odd. but thats ok. i am now officialy crazy, even though they didn't find anything wrong with me when they put me under eval. thats ok. they all thought that manson was fine too. and everyother aka psychopathe was normal too. so yeah i guess its all good. but all i know is that now? if they think that they are going to win. that is there own flaw, for i will win this war in the long run. but i guess i had best go. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: i have only silence, and people talking |
| Friday, February 4th, 2005 | |
| 3:48 pm | ha ha ha i hate you still you can try to stop me and i will punish you all for the pain youve caused me.! |
| Monday, October 25th, 2004 | |
| 4:28 pm | Take the quiz: "Where are you most likely to be found?"  In a graveyard You hang around graveyards. You suck blood, worship the devil and sometimes you dig up corpses and use them in interesting ways. What fun. |
| 4:25 pm | |
| Tuesday, October 19th, 2004 | |
| 4:39 pm | sliping away into insanity i am a mindless drone. let me worship the ground that everyone walks on oh look i found a chip to alow me thought and independence from this slavery FUCK all who dare to attempt to tie me down! fuck you world i hate you these people who tie me down are to be eliminated. one by one they will fall untill i am alone and then i will have my power! what do they know of me? NOTHING! do they realize that they only know what i want them to know? no one will ever know the real me, for i will never allow it! fuck the world! fuck all who think they know me! forget those who hate me, and ignore what i feel for others; for that would only signafiy that i am one of them! kill my mortal soul for it is barely alive anyway, sit with the shadows and surround myself with the dead and i will be free to explore a world of knowledge rather than idiocy. Current Mood: woke up from hell, to hell Current Music: don't look back thalia (dont ask its whats playing) |
| Tuesday, October 12th, 2004 | |
| 5:20 pm | blah.......... I donno what the hell to do anymore. I give up. fuck! i hate some shit right now, i guess all that i can do is bitch about it some more. yeah right. as of now life is shitty and the world seems to be set against me more than it ever was and i currently have no one to help me out, so yeah once again i am in compleate isolation and school sux serious ass! i fucking hate this shit! grrrrrrrrrrr if ther is a god he must love to be possessive of me, if it is satan k him too... if its the gods or goddesses then yeah i guess i cant bitch too much 'cept i would like company in my quiet hell, thank you much. Current Mood: like i just got fucked over! Current Music: anything that i could find that was angry! |
| Monday, October 11th, 2004 | |
| 3:49 pm | Take the quiz: "how sane are you?"  one mental mother fucker its ok we all are a lil crazy but you ... you are a fucking nutcase. good job i honor you. you are yourself |
| Friday, September 24th, 2004 | |
| 5:13 pm | o-m-g!!!!! oh my god i cannot believe that i didn't write for so long well heres an up date on life, umm i'm still with our boy nick and i'm still madly in love with him and lots of people are still thinking that we wont last but its already been two months and we haven't tried to kill each other yet so yeah its been good school is great everyone is blown away by my new body. i lost over 20 lbs over the summer so yeah all the people (guys) that never really looked before wont stop bu i have what i want so i dont care about what they think anymoreso its all good i wont get to see my hunny for another three weeks so i'm a little pouty but its all good i can wait so yeah all my friends are good, i went back home this summer texas was good to me i went the last two weeks of august and was called every day while i was away. so it was ohhhhh sooo looovvveeeelllyyyy. but i guess i had best go. loves yas all bunches |
| Wednesday, July 28th, 2004 | |
| 5:07 am | uhhhhhhh..... i am so going to get even with her! angel was messing with me last night. i do believe that it is her fault that i woke up about a half hour ago. but it is annoying as hell. i give up. i do know that when i see her in three weeks that i will slap the hell out of her. but then again thats ok. she'll deserve it if this shit keeps happening.i don't like her that way and she needs to just find someone else to try to get with, i am taken so i don't care. if i was single there would be a possibility that i would but i'm not and there is no way in hell. she was way to,..............possesive of me and she had to know where i was at all times, so fuck that. i give the fuck up.i guess i'll see how it goes today. i'm supposed to see my boy today but for some odd reason i don't know if its because of the rain and thunder or its angel fucking with my head i sort of doubt that i will see him today.but i guess thats ok too. i shouldn't get anymore attached then i already am. so i give up. if he shows great, if he doesn't piss on it. not saying i'll be mad it just means that i'll have to cut back on the attachment bit and do my own thing when he does his. hee hee that includes seeing how very attached i already am.well i had better go 'cause i need to call him at 8 o'clock which is in like a hour an a half from now. |
| Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 | |
| 9:02 pm | today today was ok i did nothing except make up with angel, and realize that my boy is possesive of me. its sweet i love it! i told him that angel called dibbs and he threw a fit and said no way that he called dibbs first. i love him so much. its sad that i do love him so much, i'm setting myself up for a fall. i'm gonna hurt myself or i'm gonna hurt him. so i dread the end of this relationship. we still need it to be ok'ed by dad. he didn't call back but thats ok i guess i don't really mind it much. it was bound to slow down sometime. but thats ok. we are ok. night all, we wish you luck in all your work. love yas lots. |
| Monday, July 26th, 2004 | |
| 7:55 am | sorry i ment to write about sat. yesterday and oh my god i didn't get to, sorry SAT: well we picked him up from where he was staying at and we went to the picnic, mom kept trying to ditch us and so when she went to play bingo me and him walked around and found some stands to sit at. it was fun we sat and talked, we kissed too but that was all. the sad thing is, that i somehow knew how he would kiss. and it still took me off guard. it was like i can't breath.... he stole my breath away. but i guess i got even and sort of took him off guard too. saddness he could read my kiss though, urrrrrrgggggiiiiiiiiiii. oh well mom found us we were together for for at least 4 hours. and it was fun i loved it and i really do believe i love him. sad i know i know, but ive never felt so close and relaxed around anyone so i loved it!!!!! he asked mom that whole permision thing now for dad. i feel so bad.....poor thing we love him though. SUN: he was droped off at the house me and mom took him back to town and dropped him off at his place our good friend was haveing some problems so me and her spent girl time in town me and mom were doing our arrends and spending time with our girl. my boy was brought up in conversation and i was given the stamp of approvel that we could date and out he walks from the store that we were just walking into so i called him over and told him we could date he was like odd it took him by supprise. we droped our good friend off and went to see him and told him some info about a little boy that is used to always getting his way that wants to fuck with our relationship. and he said that it was up to us not him about how long our relationship lasts. in which case i do believe that this will last a while. odd how i havent panicked yet... but yeah i do hope it lasts. he called mom booted me off the phone she needed to call back home and then when she got off the phone it was i'm gonna say 10:45pm i called him and we didn't get off the phone until 1:30am mom was pissed i told her at least it wasn't long distance. then she said that dad didn't know i was on the phone so yeah i let him go and my nose would not stop itching in traslation to that..... he was thinking about me. it was cruel.but i know i got even. hee hee Today: i have no clue whats gonna happen. he had to go to another town today and yeah,.. i wont get to talk to him until 4:oopm i should sleep somemore. Current Mood: indescribable |
| Saturday, July 24th, 2004 | |
| 6:54 am | today big day oh god!!!!! today we pick up our boy and go to moms company picnic errrrrr...... its 8:01 am and i am a nervous wreck!!!! but anyway, um we havent seen each other for two days its fine by me 'cept i do miss him. i need to get over my problem. i do not know what to think anymore.i'm all gah gah over him its sickening. we thanked our friend yesterday and she seemed pleased about the whole thing. now i cannot complain about not haveing a boyfriend, but he still needs to talk to the parents, loooooooong story, my own personal little test to see how much they want to date me. i'm so sad i know but it works wonders i've realized. today that will happen too..... um going to the movies with one of my other good friends, told him about it last night and he said that he wanted to go should have known better. but i felt i had to so he doesn't stop by and be like where is she? it would have been cruel, i miss the old me, the sad lost without my way cruel and unusual person that i once was but no i had to meet our boy and i am a sap. its fucking sad as hell!!!and at the same time, i dont miss it to much because i'm actualy happy the happy that i knew around alonzo. which worries me too....everyone knows that the past does repeat its self. please dont let it please dont let it.i want to stay sane for a little while longer. untill i hit thirty at least. then they can commit me to the hospital. but anyways i should write about how today went later if not today, tomorow wish me luck or jinx me i dont really care, if it can happen its bound to. buh-bye. |
| Friday, July 23rd, 2004 | |
| 10:35 am | ahhhhhhhh good day yesterday it was a good day yesterday 'cept that one side of me woke up......miss. kitty, yeah for those who know how i am that is not a good thing. it's not that she's evil or anything it's just that a lot of trouble goes on when she's up. and that guy that our good friend "tried" to hook us up with..... we are both attached to each other. sad that we only met on sunday. but it's like i've known him forever. and i feel relaxed around him. like i'm not being judged for once. and i admitt that i said the bad phrase that i usually don't mean, already, but the amazing thing is that i did mean it. so yeah kats plotting something and odd as it may seem i didn't scare him away. so i donno.odd stuff. but it's my turn to start thanking people for him. its rather sad i know......he thanked everyone already so now it's my turn... *hee hee* i'm gonna have to get even with a sombody that told our boy that i was a cow though. so yeah......... fun, fun for me. never say something about me that will piss me off and that will get back to me. for i will pay you back if need be. but 'nuf o' that. i actualy hope that this lasts a while. now i got to sit back and see whats gonna happen today. and i need to talk to my good friend soon too....... hee hee hee hee hee heeee. Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: freebird lynyrd skynyrd |
| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004 | |
| 9:58 pm | today went sort of ok i donno if he likes me or not..... ummm but i do believe i'm falling for him. i hope he's not like who i think he might be i hope he likes me as much as i like him cuz if not i will seriously not give a second thought to the oposite sex i'll practice my will power as to not fall in love or need anyone. but thats just me of course so yeah i give, for right now i need to live my life one day at a time and hope that i dont push or scare him away. i am so going to ruin this, i can feel it. fuck ...i hate knowing whats going to happen. i am so screwed. |
| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004 | |
| 10:26 pm | untitled i have my insecuritys about this i feel like i'm loseing my mind like my breath was torn from me. i give up on this all i ever seem to have is an unimportant point of view. FUCK YOU WORLD! i was just starting to enjoy you & life but ALWAYS YOU FUCK ME OVER. yeah, like i loved being your doll. if i am one , cut my limbs and burn them. sever my head; rip out my eyes and sew my mouth shut so i wont scream. mutilate my body and just save my already scared face for a rainy day. Current Mood: worthless and self loathed |
| 8:25 pm | never fails something always fucks it up for me i don't know what to think anymore, my self worth has droped a lot. i feal worthless. i don't know what to do anymore. i just so hope that people are happy for i am in misery again. thank you alli hate two assholes. they used me and i was needy and now my past fucking comes back to bite me in the ass. and i actualy like this guy and i don't know what he thinks about me anymore....... so FUCKING HELL I HATE ME! but i guess i'll always see these scars too. i hope he still likes me,... and that it changes nothing.i'm actualy in tears right now. i hate this always.... something fucks it all up.i should have known, i was too happy. i need to drink and i still don't so that's a good thing i guess. well should anyone read this i'll write more later, hope it will get better for me if you want or you can hope it get's worse either which way only tommorow will tell. Current Mood: and worthless Current Music: darkness by:sea of green |
| 10:06 am | i dont know what to say except i knew something would happen i was haveing too much good luck......hmmmm....... god i haye being right. friends haveing problems, me hopeing that the past wont repeat itself. i dont need it cuz i will finaly snap if it does happen. i dont know, the bad part about it, is the fact that it is more than one friend. i dont know, im lost. i love my friends, and i dont need to lose what i love. i just hope this gets better, not worse. i just have to keep my hopes down or else,......... they will be crushed. sad i know, but true.i just hope that these people realize that i do care about them! i only have 4 if not 5 people i can trust and i dont need to lose what i got, but i guess i'm being selfish......i'll stop now. |
| Monday, July 19th, 2004 | |
| 11:19 pm | good day today yeah my best bud took it on to herself to set me up with this guy...um yeah he called yesterday and we met for the first time yesterday too... he called this morning and vistited around 9:25 and left at 10:37 so yeah... i donno though,.... it's just an odd thing i talked to her about it and she said he was interested.... thats sad and to think he's a complete stranger but i'm totaly comfortable around him.....odd things i don't think we'll hook up though knowing me i'll freak and push him away thinking that i don't want him and so forth but this could also be a chance to just relax and have some fun too... i guess i'll never know till i try. i just hope that i wont get hurt or hurt him, after all this ends. |
| Saturday, July 17th, 2004 | |
| 10:16 am | weeping worthless tears ... what was the point of fighting back fears? i watch the sky turn grey. once again i have wasted another day. looking back on a worthless life, i have done nothing to make it any better. and somehow i doubt i will one day be a wife. what can life offer me? all i can hear is the phrase "let her." yes. let me fail, let me learn, let me regret, let me die. at last i know i truly am a failure, but i am still human, that i can still have emotions, that i will always have hope. |
