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[14 Dec 2004|08:14am] |
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ok i'm in the worst fucking bind ever!! after a month of no word from *.him.* after a fight we got in, after all we've been through and how he used and abused my heart.. he calls me up last night, sayng stuff he knows would make me fall right bakc inlove with him. he's my first love and we've been back and forth since fucking march of this year and i cna't do it anymore but i refuse to let go, god do i know i should and ive tried but it isnt that easy and i keep telling myself, theres a reason why he keeps coming back and why i cant let go.. i dont fucking know what to do. he wants to see me tonight and all day long i'll keep saying NO NO IM NOT GONNA then when he calls i'll break down and say ok come get me.. well fucking aye if i aint the stupiest person alive. GOD I HATE MY SELF FOR LOVING HIM. im rambling on and on and being sloppy and talkign like a sailor =) oo joy! ok well i made this up...
im utterly head over heals inlove with this pathetic excuse for a man and he has no idea. i nag myself senseless to fucking get him off my brain but the more i try to forget him, the more he seems to keep popping in and out of my life and i just cant take having and losing something i love so much over and over again. i cant do this with him anymore.. but i dont know how to let go.
.. any help, advice, quotes.. ANYTHING.. would be most appreciated!!
-- signed -- confused//heart!
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| I long for you... |
[14 Dec 2004|03:28pm] |
When I f i r s t saw you...*
I f o r g o t to breathe...<3
I can't live, Not when living is without you-
I can't give, No i can't give anymore...
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| please help me.. please! |
[14 Dec 2004|06:33pm] |
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mood |
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bawling my eyes out |
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i never ever request. but i post tonnes of quotes and i really need your guy's help.. today my big brother tried to commit suicide, right when i got home from school i had to go to the hospital.. he's a lot better but if the ambulance would have been 5 mins later he would have died. he's really depressed and i had to say goodbye to him, he's going to a mental hospital to get help, he's also a dealer, and he has a major cocaine addiction.. i cant stop crying still and i want to write him a letter because he's going to be lonely, and i just want some quotes on how much he means to me,, and that i have faith in him, also that i really want him to get better
PLEASE HELP ME !!
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