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quotessss [05 May 2005|07:57pm]
"Our four years have all become unraveled and so
our high school story finally ends. But years
from now, no matter where we've travelled
we'll all look back and think about our friends."
- Saved By The Bell

1,377 teenagers become mothers
1,106 teenage girls get an abortion
500 adolescents begin using drugs
4,219 teenagers get a sexually transmitted disease
1,000 adolescents begin drinking alcohol
3,610 teens are assaulted 80 are raped
2,861 teens drop out of school
420 children are arrested for drug abuse
5,388 youths are arrested
6 teens commit suicide
now that’s something to think about

as soon as you get online, whose
name do u look for first? when a
s l o w song comes on the radio..
whose face comes to your mind
first? when you hear your phone
ringing.. who do u hope it is calling?
whose name makes your stomach
drop when u hear it?________x3

i think what
[M e S s e S]
up us most .. is that we all got this
[P i C t u R e _ P e R f e C t]
of the way things
[s H o u L d _ B e]Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is a beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is life, fight for it.
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nich's apology...close enough [28 Apr 2005|06:33pm]
StateSux66: hey what was the date of britains party??
SweetestSin917: hold on
StateSux66: it's not the date of those pics
SweetestSin917: the 22nd
StateSux66: thanks
SweetestSin917: why?
StateSux66: cuz Mea thought i cheated on her with you b/c she saw those pics and the 6th date
StateSux66: so just proving it wasn't then
StateSux66: sorry
SweetestSin917: its cool i don't care
StateSux66: yeah i'm still sorry
SweetestSin917: about what?
StateSux66: askin and everything before then
StateSux66 is away at 6:31:42 PM.
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sex [08 Apr 2005|11:31pm]
so i'm gonna go ahead and start a new one of these...just incase there's ever anything that needs to be said.

tonight has been a long night. mostly because everything that should have happened didn't. i mean whose to say it should have happened? it's actually probably for the better that it didn't. i mean at least this way nobody got hurt. i mean it sucks yeah but its better than being treated like some doll and not like a person. because i am a person and i deserve better than an occasional 2 second conversation and that's only when he wants to get laid. it's like the ultimate feeling that i'm actually just another whore and it hurts. i'm not asking to much? at least i don't believe i am. i want an occasional reallll conversation, or a real hanging out that doesn't involve sex. i'm not into the just sex and i don't think people really realize that i have feelings and opinions. for once i'd like somebody to ask me about art or about something intelligent-i'm not a complete dumbass. i need a deep conversation for once. again it's not like i'm asking for a freaking marriage here, or even a relationship for that matter i just want to feel like he cares about the person i am. i take this so much deeper than him and everytime we do fuck for a long time i just feel like he should just "leave the money on the dresser". i feel used and weird. maybe i should just stop having sex all together. i mean its better for me who cares what he thinks he doesn't care what i think. and it hurts that i have this opinion of him and it sucks that i thought he was a good guy. and i realize he has no idea how i feel about this. and i admit that's mostly my fault because i never tell him off like i should when he pisses me off. like the first time we started "talking" wayyyy back in july one of the first questions he asked me was about sex. and i should've stopped it right there. but i felt like i had something to prove. i wanted to get back at eddie, i wanted to prove to eddie that i could do somebody besides him, and i think most of all i just needed something. and i shouldn't do that because it hasn't been worth it at all. and as i've sat here tonight i've realized that i don't have to prove anything to eddie. just because he was my first, and it hurts that he went out and gave away all the secrets of us and then even added in some lies.which hurts cause i was under the impression he loved me, which was stupid because he was a stupid boy. but back to the point i think its time i find something i can hang onto, with somebody who treats me right, somebody who would take me to the park or the art muesum. i've realized today that me having sex has interfered with too many relationships. let's face it, nobody looks at me the same anymore. i mean nich didn't date me cause of how many times i've had sex, trevor didn't because of who i've had sex with. and that sucks.

i hate that people don't think i appriciate things. because i do, not as much as i want to but i do. its nice when somebody calls me pretty or does something outrageously sweet, but i don't show how much i appriciate it. and thats a major flaw.

whatever i'm going to bed. hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.
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