latEly | daYs | inFo
iM stiLL stRong

[p0sted 0n Tue. Apr. 19th, 2005 ]

// cuRRently // chipper
// cuRRently // Go To Sleep Bitch - Eminem

My Dearest Brttany,

Hi, Hello, How are you? I hope you're doing well. Me? I could complain, but I doubt you'd listen. I just want to get a few things off my chest so I can sleep better at night. Feel better now since you slapped me? Since I think I'm a better person than you, I walked away. Pride hurt, but integrity intact. Has it EVER occurred to you that fighting solves nothing? We've fought, stared each other in the face time and time again and yet I still ran my mouth. What did slapping me do? Embarrassed me? Yes. Everything else? No. It didn't hurt anything but my pride,'cause I didn't hit you back. I'm not scared of you anymore Brittany. Once upon a time, I was. I'm not anymore. Now when I look at you, I luagh. I pity you. I heard about the thing going on with your dad. That's sad, hope he's ok. But, anyway! Like I said, I pity you. Why are you so insecure? As long as you know the stuff I say isn't true, it really shouldn't bother you. My mama has always told me people will fight over the truth more than they will the untruths. So, there must be some factuality in the things I say, or else they wouldn't bother you so. No matter how many people you cuss out, or slap, or fight, it's not going to change the truth about who or what you are. I don't know who or what you are. All I know are the things you've done. All I'm saying is, if you put yourself out there like a ho, that's how people are going to see you. If you say you're pregnant one day, then say you aren't a week later, people are going to see you as a liar. I'm not in that whole prego situation, I don't care. The fact that you claimed you were prego didn't bother me. It was that someone, anyone claimed to be pregnant. If anyone other than Dell claimed to be pregnant, I'd tell the world. i told the world Kerry was prego. i told the world Heather and Laurien were prego. I also told the world that Heather cried miscarriage. It wasn't anything personal when i told people you said y9ou were prego, then claimed you weren't. i didn't care whose baby it was. I KNEW it wasn't Demarcus'. He can't have babies. You could get prego a million and one more times and I'm still going to tell people when I hear about it. If you want to fight again, name the time and place. You didn't hurt me last time, so I'm not going to be worried about it this time. You keep thinmking i can't fight, really piss me off, and you'll see how well I can fight. If this junk is over between us, then let it be over. Don't throw water on me, don't slap me, or even threaten to do so. Dell isn't your friend, she wants to talk to you about as much as I do. Talk to her if you want, she'll just walk away. If not, then she and I aren't as close as I thought, but I'm 98% positive she'll walk away. You took her once, but you won't ever again. Well, I'm glad I got this stuff off my chest. I don't see how you can sleep at night doing what you do. But, I guess those are your issues. If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, my number is 831-9220, 831-0354, 697-7720,697-7711. Call any of those, you'll prolly, more-than-likely reach me more or easier on the first one.

Ciao Sweetheart!

Hugs N Kisses

P.S. I wouldn't let Demarcus get those numbers. He's getting a year and 5 months and 25 days when they catch him. and they will. They Always Do.

g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Wed. Apr. 13th, 2005 ]
to Demarcus:
g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Tue. Apr. 12th, 2005 ]

// cuRRently // bitchy
// cuRRently // Going Crazy - Natalie

Welcome To HeartBr0k3n!!


g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Mon. Apr. 11th, 2005 ]
// cuRRently // confused

This is defiantly just a rant.

Robin- You used to be my everything. You used to be that one person that I knew would always be there and would always understand, even if I didn't say a damn thing. And when I was having a shitty day, you'd just hit me on the head and laugh and tell me to get over it. You brought a sort of comfort to my life. For five fucking years, you were my everything. We did everything together. You were my best friend and you taught me a lot. You taught me about life, loving, and living. You taught me that sometimes things truly aren't as bad as they seem, or better yet... they're worse. People said that we'd always be friends, that we'd never be apart. So why the hell are you saying that you kind of wanted to run me over? I know a lot has changed between us and I know that we are not exactly friends... but we were a long time ago. We grew up. We're not the same people that we used to be. I don't know you anymore and you don't know me. I was okay with the change, I really was. I was okay with the fact that we left on okay terms and that after five years, we just went our own ways. But now... why has it come to this? Why is it that when I pass you in the hallway you can't even look me in the fucking eye? Why is it that when I enter a room you just stare in the opposite direction? Why is it like this? Why can't we just be mature about this. I don't want it to end like this. I don't want us to hate each other when you leave next year. Fuck... why am I even bothering? I'm sure you could careless. But all I'm trying to say is... I at least want to be able to say hello to you.

g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Sun. Apr. 10th, 2005 ]

// cuRRently // depressed
// cuRRently // It's So Hard To Say GoodBye To Yesterday - Boys 2 Men


Hello. Um, I guess I have a lot to say to you right now. I don't see why you have to be such an asshole all the time. I'm nothing but nice to you and all you do is treat me like I'm nothing. I'm your fucking girlfriend you ass you don't have to be so rude all the time. I know you're joking most of the time, but most of the time it still hurts! I like you a lot. When we're alone you are the greatest guy in the world. I mean .. the greatest! But, when we're on the phone, or in school, you bullshit, and it gets on my nerves. Why can't you be the guy you are when we're alone all the time?? That'd be really great. You are such a sweet person, I just don't understand you sometimes. I want to be with you, but I don't want to be with an asshole.


Hey. I had a lot of fun last night. It's nice to know that not all guys are worried about sex and only sex. I hate being criticized about not wanting to have sex EVERYTIME I hang out with a guy. My boyfriend won't hang out with me unless I have sex with him, that's why we don't spend any time together. I'm not going to do it. I'm sorry you and your girlfriend are having problems. I really like you a lot, and if you and her don't work out I hope I get a chance. Sitting on that swing with you, was amazing. I wish more guys were like you, I wish a guy could swing and just talk. I like things like that, I'm a bit of a romantic. I love the way you complimented everything about me. How nice I looked, how my eyes sparkled, how you said my lips glittered. You notice things about me I wish my boyfriend would, and even more important you say how much you appreciate it, and that means A LOT. Like you said, guys like you are few and far between. My sister said you're not good for me, but I'm tired of her trying to run me. I'll move out before I let her run me. I been sitting here thinking about that kiss for a while now. I feel bad for kissing you when I'm dating Mark, but he's a really big asshole to me anyway. I think your girlfriend does take you for granted. From your side of the story, you seem really great. There's always two sides though I guess, you could be the dirty person in this relationship. Who knows?? It doesn't seem like it though. You're a sweetheart.


I feel so lost in my ways these days. I like 2 guys, and I'm dating another, but he's a complete asshole to me. But, I like him so much, that I want to be with him. I've liked him for so long now. If I gave up on it now, I'd never forgive myself. This is actually the second time we've dated, the first time, dumb shit happen and we broke up. We stopped talking COMPLETELY. I called him the other night and told him I was coming over, and he said OK. I expected him to say no. But, he just said OK. Then we were talking, and kissing and stuff and he asked me out, and so I said yeah. I didn't think he was going to be as mean as he's being. I mean .. it seems like he doesn't have any feelings. I told him I missed him and he said so? .. What the fuck? ASSHOLE! But, what can I do? Break up with him? I'd never forgive myself. I just met Tyler, and he tells me about how him and his girflriend are always fighting. We hung out last night, and when he pulled up his eyes were all red from where he was crying 'cause she broke up with him. He was upset about it at first, then as the night went on he started feeling better. We went to the park and swung on the swings, and this truck pulled up and turned it's lights off, and I was like I'm scared. So he wrapped his arms around me and said " I'll protect you. " OMG!! Aww! I just don't know what to do anymore. I like Mark soooooooo much, but he's so mean to me. It makes it kinda not worth the relationship we have. We don't spend a lot of time together because he likes to fuck, and I LOVE to fuck. But, not all the time. Not everytime we hang out! We went to the beach and walked up and down the pier. It was awesome, we held hands, we talked, we kissed. It was great. The next day on the phone, he went right back to being an asshole. I didn't talk to him once today because he's been gone. What do I do? Stay with him and put up with my feelings being hurt on the phone, but be HAPPY AS HELL when I'm with him? Or do I break up with him and go out with someone else? I don't even know who though. John is acting stupid, saying he needs time. I told him to talk his time, that I'd be here. But, I got tired of waiting, so I got a nu boyfriend. Then Tyler said he wants to go with me, but he's been going with this girl for 10 almost 11 months now and they fight and argue a lot and he's going to tell her that he doesn't want to be with her anymore 'cause they can't seem to fix the problems they only get worse. I've had to give that speech to a person I loved before, and it's almost unbearable to look them in the face and say those things knowing that it'd be your last words to them. If I KNEW I was dying tomorrow, I wonder if I'd tell people, or if I'd just spend what time I have left with everyone and let them know in my own way how much I truly appreciated them, or if I would tell them all I'm dying and to fuck off? It's interesting. Who knows? This community didn't take off like I thought it would. One person joined. That's cool. WELCOME! By the way. Glad to have you here. Well, I'mma go. I'm kinda sadd.
x's n o's

3 g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Fri. Apr. 8th, 2005 ]

// cuRRently // crushed

hey i just joined i need to get some stuff off my chest..

pete ; i havent seen you since the day you brokeup with me it seems like yesterday i remember every detail and everything you said to me that day. i cried in front of you. that was one thing i told myself i would never do in front of a guy if he ever brokeup with me. and still my mind wanders ALL fucking day wondering why you would ever breakup with me. we had absolutely no problems. we were the perfect couple. i would think about you all day inschool daydreaming about us hanging out and going places. my friends loved you before they even met you. unfortunetly thats all over with and i havent seen you in almost 2 months. how could u breakup with me the day after valentines day and on my best friends birthday. you really hurt me. deep down i know we belong together. i miss you so much. iam going totally insane without you. nothing has been right since you left me. your the only one i want in my life. i dont want anybody else. no one could ever make me as happy as you did. i just really need you back in my life. remember you said we could be friends? i think friends talk more often then we do now. u havent called me in 3 weeks. and i called u last thursday but you never picked up. maybe you dont want to be friends anymore. all i know is that i love you .. and i wish you would realize how much i care about you.

g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Wed. Apr. 6th, 2005 ]

To Aaron:

Hello. It's been a while since we last talked. I guess that could be good or bad. We'll let fate decide. I saw you today, and you saw me. You looked good today, you matched and everything. When I saw you I was like ddddammmmmn. I don't see why you can't look like that everyday, smell that good everyday. I guess that bitch doesn't care enough to motivate you to do so like I did. Today, you were laughing and smiling in class. Something you do a lot, but today it seemed natural. Usually, I can tell your laughs are fake, a front, to fool others into thinking you're a happy person. You and I know you're not content with any aspect of your life. But, today, it seemed like you had finally come to grips with your demons. I hope so. I hope you will give yourself the chance to be a better person. I know you can be a wonderful person if you took the time out to try. It's funny, why do I always have to see the sweet part of a person?? It's makes it so much harder to let it go in the end. Like, I'm still stuck on Mark, 'cause I saw the passionate side of him. In school, he's a dick, but when we're not in school, and when we're alone he is a sweetheart. But, back to you .. I hope she's making you happy. Even though I don't like you, and never did love you, I still wish you nothing but happiness. I guess it's the fact that I know who you really could be if you tried, that has me stuck on you. But, don't confuse this with caring about you, 'cause I don't. I hope everyone is happy with whoever they're with. I know what it's like to be sad, to be depressed, unhappy with your significant other. I would wish that upon no one. Brittany is trying to say she's having Demarcus' baby. I FUCKING HATE UGLY WHORES WHO CHEAT THEN BLAME IT ON WHOEVER!! I'm going to laugh my ass off when it's not his baby, and I will rub it up and down in her face. Fucking bitch. Makes me sick. Anyway, don't end up like that, stuck with an ugly bitch. Now he is, and I don't feel sorry for either of them, they deserve each other. Two dirty motherfuckers fucked and made another ugly dirty motherfucker. When I say dirty, I mean musty ass, not taking a shower dirty. AND They are! I don't care. I let too much shit get to me. I listened to colorblind again today. I try not too. Sometimes, I'll just WANT to listen to it, and theres nothing I can do but to listen to it. I don't get sad, i get depressed. I think of the good times. But, they were few and far between. But, the ones we did have were something I'll never forget. Long after I've forgotten you and your shit, I'll still remember that night on your bed, when we just sat there in each others arms and talked. That was one of the very best nights of my life, and I'll never forget it. Well, I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow but we'll only speak harsh words to each other.

To Brittany :

You fat fucking bitch. I hate you so much. You're living the life I once wanted, I once dreamed, hoped, and prayed for. I cried to God every night I could not call him mine. Then, I'd thank God for every second that he was mine. Now you're supposed to be having his baby?? Fuck you. Fucking whore. I know it's not his, it can't be. I refuse to believe it! You're a fucking whore, you fuck everyone! I know you had to cheat, there is no way that baby is his. We fucked 2 1/2 years and I never got pregnant once. I'm not saying you're not pregnant. You fat fucking whore, I don't doubt you're pregnant, you suck dick as a profession. I'm saying IT'S NOT HIS! .. You make me fucking sick. You're fucking pale as hell, you're fucking ugly, the thought of you naked is enough to disgust anyone, why anyone would look at it, I have no idea. It's got to be fucking sick. Pale and fat isn't attractive you fat bitch. You need to get your fucking teeth fixed too. You're so fucking ugly. Grrr, I fucking hate you, you stupid bitch. I wish you'd just fucking die. I've hated you for so fucking long, and now I loathe you completely. You're a horrible fucking person, you don't deserve him. He's a great person, when he wants to be, I know he is. I know him better than you will EVER know him. God, I fucking hate you. Fucking shit. You're a fucking whore, why did you have to chose him to whore with?? There are 9.9999 billion other guys in this fucking world and you decided to let him dig in your rotten ass pussy, WHICH he fucking told everyone was loose! Fucking whore. I really don't fucking like you. I hope you fucking rott in hell you ugly disease infested whore!

Now I want to tell her this shit to her fucking face .. I can't stand this fucking bitch, with every inch of me I fucking hate her.
2 g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Tue. Apr. 5th, 2005 ]
( A wonderful example I wrote about 2 hours ago! )

To Aaron:

I look around these days. That's something I never did while we were together. My only worry was you, where you were, what you were doing. I felt so consumed with you, so trapped, so smothered. Much like you, well kind of, I somewhat fear the thought of one person for forever. I welcomed the idea as well because you sugar coated the real you for so long, i fell for your act. I fell for you, just not as hard as I thought. When I listen to colorblind, it takes me back to that time we sat on your bed for the longest and just talked. I wish that was the real you. But, it wasn't, and I see that now. Now when I look at you, I'm disgusted with what I see, and I just tell myself I never dated you. It was all bullshit from the beginning. I dated a character that you made up and spoon fed to me like mashed potatoes and gravy. I refuse to admit that I ever, knowingly, dated anyone as horrible as you. If anyone asks me if I dated you, I'm going to say no. Maybe you should do the same. But, I think about you from time to time. When I listen to colorblind, I think of that wonderful person you once were. I'd give anything have him back. But, that was never the real you, so I highly doubt you could ever be that person again. When I look at you, and what you are, it makes me question myself so much. Were you really in my head so much that I failed to realize how dirty you really are? In all this, I've question myself and my pride. My pride souly based on the fact that I would have done anything to prove how much I really cared about you.

.. that's all I have right now.
g0t iT 0ut!

[p0sted 0n Mon. Apr. 4th, 2005 ]
Yes Sir

This is now a community! In this community, you are able to post ANYTHING you want. I like to write people, but not give it to them, just get it out. Well, I let my friends and people read them and try to see what they think. This way complete strangers can criticize me! So, this is just a community that'll help get shit off your chest, and don't be afraid to say anything!
1 g0t iT 0ut!

gOing tO 
//  l00king aT  tHe moSt reCent //