She called, so I went. This past Friday, I spent a part of the morning picking up red and white wine and beer for the
Hawaiian Society of Law and Politics general membership meeting. While I was at the store, I was called for a visit and I knew I had to go.
It's been a while since I visited her, but I had to.
It's a shame that I had waited so long,
to visit this someone who loved me unconditionally,
this someone who inspired me
this someone who, when I was sick
she gave up her bed and took care of me.
Saturday,
the day after,
would be her birthday.
She knew
I was going to be busy.
So she wanted me to visit
her on Friday.
Before leaving the store,
I picked up for her a bouquet
of flowers.
She welcomed me
when I sat on her grass,
overwhelming me
with pure happiness.
Reminding me,
she's here for me.
Letting me know everything will be alright.
I miss you grandma
and I love you too.
Althought I'm busy,
I can't help but think of you.
I thank you
for the sacrifices you made,
and I know you're
around me every day.
She reminded me
to call my grandpa,
my uncle Kimo and Uncle Hammy too,
to see how they've been.
and I will grandma.
A misty rain began
to fall on me in Punchbowl.
She thanked me for coming
knowing I had things to do
I could now go.
"Grandma, there's a few things
I want to tell you
, well you already know.
But I miss you,
I miss kissing you on the cheek
goodbye and hello
and trying to comfort you at Tripler
when you went for chemo."
"I miss you grandma.
Happy Birthday and I hope you like the flowers."
I stood up and began to walk to my truck. I could hear her start to give me scoldings when I almost turned my back to her.
We have an interesting understanding that while I'm on her grass and leaving, I don't turn my back to her. It's been so long since I made a visit that I almost forgot. I can walk sideways or backwards when leaving and on the grass. But until I reach the pavement, I don't walk forward. She also insists that I walk along and above the headstones so as to not disrespect the other dead, surrounding her, by walking over their bodies.
Not that I was trying to hide it from her, but when I got inside my truck,
she made sure to let me know that she wanted some of my ahi poke I bought at the store.
"Grandma, you and I both know you can't physically eat it and you know this isn't aku. You're with God now so I'll give you a piece because the essence of this offering will be yours, the substance of this offering will stay with us. This, we know, is the right thing to do."
I got out of my truck and walked back to her headstone and quickly contemplated if I should put the poke in the bronze flower vase or on the ground. She let me know that she didn't like her poke with water. I smiled, wanting to laugh. "Who does, Grandma? But there are birds and ants around and I don't want them coming near you too soon to take this away." She let me know that it'd be alright. So I placed it on the grass close to her headstone. I walked backwards, than sidewards and once I made it to the road, it was okay to turn my back and walked forward.
My grandma was a magnificent woman with a calm, loving spirit.