| I like this |
[16 May 2008|03:14am] |
And I saw you staring at the jukebox
As you held his hand I heard
A song we used to play in bed
A song I used to play for you in bed
A disillusioned smile sadly crept
Across my face as I tried to
Tell myself I didn't care
I told myself I didn't care
But disappointment can't describe
How it feels to know you took the
Sound track to our romance and
Pawned it off on someone else
I took my edition and kept it to myself
Does it sound the same to you?
And another night, at another bar
Your friend was glaring at me from afar
From afar she said “I hated you
Before I knew who you were.”
I couldn't understand, I asked her why
She said because you said
While you were with new lovers
You were still in love with me
Well maybe you forgot to mention
All the while that you were
With you new men masquerading
I was by myself
Every night I watched you walk away
Can you tell me
Does it sound the same to you?
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| Look at me look at me look at me |
[06 Jan 2007|04:03pm] |
I am a nice guy...Trust me...
I was reading some previous stuff I wrote, and it came off a little harsh...
I can be belligerent with a flip of the switch... =)
I swear the nice guy in me is screaming to bleed through, but the asshole in me keeps me cynical...
It's ok... I will prevail...
I am a happy bumblebee...
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[04 Jan 2007|02:57am] |
I don't know what it is... Life...Love... Happiness...The search for more...
There's beauty in everything I see...Then there's sadness in everything I feel...
I needed a wake up call... That there is someone out there who can make me feel like her again, and it's not just a one time thing but it was a phase...
Bittersweet is so overused...But totally relatable...
Hooray...I can smile again...I just need to get out there... Rephrase that...I just need to get BACK out there...Then again I was never "there" to begin with...I've got no game at all...
I'm a humble Man with raw emotions and feelings that are way too public...
Go ahead and read whats on my mind...It's all there for you
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[29 Oct 2005|08:27am] |
...And she makes me sad...
But I won't let this build up inside of me...
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[26 Oct 2005|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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The Killers... |
] |
It was an amazing feeling...
And now it is just a sad feeling...Not depressed or angry or jealous...Just sweet sadness...
I'm not going to blame you...You made me feel special whenever I was with you and whenever I thought of you...
I don't know...Maybe this is just the beginning...Maybe it is the end...Either way you set the bar, and now everyone has to meet it...
I need to get my life on track that's for sure...These feelings consume me like a plague...I need something to live off of...It might as well be myself...
When I looked into your eyes I felt comfortable for the first time...
Good memories...Solid ones...Vivid ones...Hakuna Matata...You're a very special girl who will make whomever your with happy...
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[24 Sep 2005|06:42am] |
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She said, "Trust Me..."
The problem is my gut feeling told me to never trust any woman ever again....
Then she mouthed something either as a whisper or that I just couldn't hear...
and got hit by a car...
Then I woke up...
Now she's asking me to go with her...
I want to...I want to go...I want to hold her close...I want to have fun with her...I want to be goofy and bring it back...
But I don't know what her implications are...I don't know what motives she has...
I'm scared to risk it...because...I've left so much out there...it's just waiting for someone to come by and hit my heart with a mack truck...
She's so beautiful though...is it worth it? The possible probably pain?
I still have visions of him...her...and what might have come to pass...and now...shes asking me to go with her...
I don't think she realizes how I feel...I don't know...Maybe she does...
MSI which can wait...Rocky Horror which has her...
I've waited for you...If I do this and you let me down...I will be severly disappointed...
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[21 Sep 2005|02:09pm] |
I'm all fucked up...
I pretend to be on drugs, though i'm not...
My whole style, culture, and what not is based on drug induced euphoria...
I am just enamored by the whole concept of it all...
I don't get it..I don't condone it...I don't do it..But I love how it inspires?
Is that fucked up or what?
Alcohol is my only true drug now...I do admit though if it wasn't for my job i'd definitely smoke pot...
I always say though if something terrible ever happened to me...Like I lost my sight, hearing, limbs, or penis...I'd try all the other stuff...Acid, X, Coke, and Heroin...
Heroin...that shit...I read the craziest things about that...I hear the craziest things about that...I can't even imagine having snake venom run through my veins...
Heroin right now to me...Is just a myth...It's out of reach and should stay that way...
As long as I read about it and hear songs about it...I won't do it because it will frighten the shit out of me ....hahaha...
I dunno...Why am I so obsessed with drugs?
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[19 Sep 2005|02:14pm] |
What do I look for in a woman?
I know everyone always says sense of humor, but i'm going to have to go with "Breast size"
lol
Or maybe just someone to baby me...Hold me...Kiss me on the cheek and rub my back...
Something like an 80s new wave song...
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[20 Jul 2005|10:11am] |
I cant need you...All i know of you...is gone...
You know you want me...I don't even want myself...
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[18 Jul 2005|09:02pm] |
My room-mates in Canada...loving it...
Meanwhile i'm working a ton of overtime...Trying to get registered for classes...
Trying to meet someone new...
Thinking...Am I too shy or timid to open up to a stranger? Or is it I just dismiss the validity in leaving myself open for an emotional downfall?
Either way...the time and the effort has to be worth it...
What i'm trying to say is...The juice has to be worth the squeeze...
The Rules of Attraction is an awesome book...I recommend everyone either see the movie or read the book the latter preferably as the movie leaves a ton out...
Ummmm....Now searching for a new book to read...
Now wondering why I ever gave up on her to begin with..
There are times when I want her back...
Those times I forget why I wanted her to leave...
I could use some company...
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[13 Jul 2005|09:41pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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I know what I need to not feel like this...I know moving foward would benefit me so much...
I saw you in your pictures today...It made me think of all of our great times together...If you can even call them great times now?
Sometimes it seems like the only thing that was ever shared between us were a batch of myths and gossip...
But that's totally not true...I liked you from the moment I saw you...We talked all night about all kinds of crazy shit...
You snuck me inside your house with your parents asleep...and we just chilled there and watched TV!
Dennys at 3 in the morning...
Just you and me in the bed of my truck talking about everything...
Things like this make me smile, but make me sad...I know I lost that good thing...I know it won't come back...I know you've totally moved on...
I only wish I could...
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[22 Jun 2005|02:23pm] |
What is there left to do now that the day has been left to the rain?
Just come lay by me and let the rain drops sing you to sleep...
Look in my eyes and through my soul to crush me...
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[15 Jun 2005|07:53pm] |
Wipe away the water from my eyes...
I love to picture you frame by frame...
Nothing could ever capture your essence better...
My soul bleeds...My body yearns...
Every strand falls on my fingers, and right there my eyes close and my life peaks...
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[07 Jun 2005|12:30pm] |
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I'm not going to lie...I want to be romanced...A fairy tale that roams through my brain...Premonitions they are...
I feel you...I need you...I am you...
Without you...
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[23 Jul 2004|04:12am] |
Wait the goodness it reaches...a blessing...escaping..the feeling...of hatred...
Concentrate on taking away...Shes just too much...Shes the calender girl...\
Absoluteness..Is hardly absolute when your without...
but...Maybe..I am better off..within?confined to the structural workings of what makes me...
I don't know...I just know...She makes me happy when shes with..She makes me sad when im without...And the without time is just way too much more than the with...So im just like blah...whatever..i cant need you...All i know of you...is gone...
Ladeeeda...still waiting...Breaking through...Blah blah blah...Ur so sweet...shes so beautiful...u know you want me...i dont even want myself...
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| Some People |
[27 Jun 2004|02:41am] |
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Some people can really fuck up your emotions...I was having such a decent saturday after working...
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| Some People |
[27 Jun 2004|02:40am] |
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Some people can really fuck up your emotions...I was having such a decent saturday after working...
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| Moral Lesson? Be prepared for the cold... |
[18 Mar 2004|03:10am] |
The days of darkness out number those of sunshine...
My light is slowly fading...Chills shoot up my finger tips...Dark blue sky illuminated by the fires...
People trying to keep warm...Drinking, smoking, and indulging....Just living a better life...
Trying to get back to sunnier days...You were my sunshine...You made me happy, but now skies are grey....
Sweeping gusts delay the reaction...And soon numbness and laziness overwhelm....
A picture of her...the cure...The cure for my frost-bitten heart...Toss it into the fire...
Watch the embers slowly fade, along with the memory...
Unify the heart and the mind...Sadness takes over the best of us...It leads us to a road...A road to paradise...
Clouded answers surround the chilling thought of her existence, its existence...the better life...a lonely thought...
One last cigarette before the final sleep...Ice encrusted hands shake and twitch to ignite the flame next to the paper...Hold it to your lips....Sigh and inhale...It flashes...Just the perfect memory...Exhale...Just another life she took....
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| In My Opinion |
[04 Jan 2004|10:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ill Nino "Liar" |
] |
When you've got money and no love, life is going downhill.
When you've got love and no money you can accomplish anything.
When you've got love and money something isn't right.
When your biggesnt love is for money you are a slave.
When your money buys you love you are lonely.
When your love gets you money you are a prostitute.
When your lover gives you money you are a player.
When your money gets you a lover you are desperate.
When your money is your love you are wealthy.
When your love is your money you are a hustler.
When your money can't buy you any more love you are the richest man in the world.
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| written a long, long time ago... |
[02 Jan 2004|11:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Chevelle "Closure" |
] |
Your face is fading from my brain
if only you had felt the same...
I miss the life that I once had
it's been taken away from me.
Stripped and analyzed to find my place.
I miss the times that I didn't care,
the truth was nothing, the future was tomorrow.
Years from now i'll miss this too.
Trying to find what i'm about,
trying to hide everything I am,
trying to love all the wrong things.
You're not a mistake but only a memory,
a brief moment passes and you slip away.
Don't you wish we could've been
I treated you well I tried so hard.
but nothing was there and now you're gone...
Please don't try to understand me because I don't know who I am yet. So you may be confused about me and my feelings toward you, but you must realize that I can't seem to find myself.
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