Blurty for stop saying "what if".

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Monday, March 1st, 2010

Time:10:41 am.
Mood: amused.
Music:Mono - Silent Flight, Sleeping Dawn.
I am amused that this site is still working.
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Saturday, December 30th, 2006

Subject:Day - Aunt - New Year - Poker - Voice
Time:1:37 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:Katie Melua - Call Off The Search.
It's a beautiful day outside, the kind of day where i should be out taking photographs and if i wasn't so drained i would be. I desperately need to start taking photographs again because it's something i planned on doing over the past year but never did due to pc problems and generally having more important things to stress over or do at the time.

My favourite aunt is coming down for new years and it'll be great to see her. Her son Malcolm is in Australia/New Zealand so she would have been on her own, naturally we won't let her see the new year in alone so she's coming here to spend it with us instead.

New Years is quite a funny time, i have people asking me what i'm doing and if i'll be out drinking and making an arse of myself like most people do but new years doesn't feel any different to me because drinking and making an arse of myself is a regular occurance.

I played the best poker of my life last night, $10 buy in with 10 players and the top 3 got paid. this one guy had something like 8,000 chips compared to my 1,000 and this other guys 3,000 yet i somehow managed to win $50. I played pretty well and i'm enjoying playing at the moment because i'm sticking to "my" game and if i lose it's down to bad luck rather than stupid mistakes. Ok i'm not quite ready for the WSOP but i'm having fun and still learning all the time.

It's quite difficult to help you or be there for you when your voice isn't being used
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Thursday, December 28th, 2006

Subject:cryptic is as cryptic does
Time:1:32 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
Music:Opeth - The Grand Conguration.
I'm not sure why my finger is always hovering over the self destruct button. I hate the attention but when [insert her name here] gives it to me i latch on to it like my very life depends on it. Then the snowball effect takes over and without warning my emotions are well and truly elevated to euphoric.

What goes up must come down though, right?
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Monday, September 25th, 2006

Time:9:05 am.
Music:Frasier on TV.
Sneezing and sniffling already, not the best start to my morning.

I had a hideous dream last night, far too real for my liking, it took an hour to write about it in my dream journal.

Breakfast = tea and toast.

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Sunday, September 24th, 2006

Time:7:08 pm.
Mood: weird.
Music:Trivium - Suffocating.
I like lazy Sundays like this, cabbaged on the sofa watching sport. Watched some of the Ryder Cup and Europe won fairly easily, America were pretty poor all the way through the entire competition. Watched my football team show the world how NOT to play the damn game, some of our younger players like Milner and N'Zogbia are giving 100% while we have the worst defenders in the league. They are single handedly costing us points, we still got away with a 1-1 draw but we were pretty lucky at times. We've decided on takeaway food tonight and i'm having a nice big fat juicy 12 inch "all the meats" pizza with garlic bread, i'm drooling already. As usual i'll mess about online for a few hours and fall asleep watching the baseball.

Some of you are going through pretty rough times with work, family and other things and i just wanted you all to know i'm thinking of you and should any of you need to vent or just fire off an email to someone then i'm always around.
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Subject:o helo
Time:12:14 am.
Music:Lamb Of God - 11th Hour.
Maybe i need to add some new people to my lj friends list. Some random people that would comment once in a while would be useful.
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Thursday, September 21st, 2006

Subject:Today was a good day
Time:3:10 pm.
Mood: good.
Recently watched Sweet Hostage (1975) Linda Blair was amazing in this film, Martin Sheen was good too but Blair stole it with her pouting and mood swings.

Recently read Escape From The Kray Madness by Chris Lambrianou and it was a really good read. Something that bugged me was the fact he wanted to get away from The Krays and hated them for the 16 years in prison he had to serve because of them but he still used the Kray name in the title to sell the book, maybe he realise it wouldn't sell otherwise.

Currenly reading Skin Game by Caroline Kettlewell and it's a book i've struggled with for over a year now. I seem to read it for a few day then put it down for months only to pick it up and start again. It's never easy reading how someone has struggled with life and how the only way to gain relief from her feelings was to physically hurt herself.

Also reading Different Seasons featuring The Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King but i've only just started that one, i wonder how he manages to cram the story into 114 pages though. There are 3 other short stories in this book called Apt Pupil, The Body and The Breathing Method.

I feel good today.
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Wednesday, September 20th, 2006

Subject:Violent Islam - Pope Apology
Time:1:29 pm.
Mood: full.
Music:Machine Head - Crashing Around You.
Violent Islam

Pope Apology

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Tuesday, September 19th, 2006

Time:2:20 pm.
Mood: busy.
Music:Kreator - Impossible Brutality.
Note to self number 3,042,052 - it's fairly obvious that you are using humour as a defensive mechanism rather than face the truth and be honest.
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Monday, September 18th, 2006

Subject:4 images
Time:4:20 pm.
Mood: good.
Music:Tenacious D - Wonderboy.
4 images i've found today and liked. Maybe not safe for work if an image of nipples or bare buttocks will get you fired.

Eternally Yours

+3 )
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Time:1:08 pm.
Mood: good.
Music:In Flames - Food For The Gods.
No idea why i'm tired today since i got more than enough sleep last night, i'm still in a bit of a lazy mood that started on Friday night and has carried over. Yankees lost, Redskins lost and Newcastle United won so 1 out of 3 will have to do i suppose.

I have tons of cleaning to do today and i'm just putting it off for a while longer while i try and catch up on lj, emails and stuff.

Glenn Roeder had to apologise yesterday for waving to Newcastle United fans after they were singing his name and apparently he clenched his fist because we'd managed a 2-0 win over West Ham United and he used to manage West Ham. This caused a bit of a surge from a few of West Ham's so called "fans" to get at Roeder and there were a few "fans" arrested. These "fans" were pissed off because a manager they sacked 3 years ago celebrated by saluting HIS clubs fans? There must be more to this story otherwise it's mind boggling that a manager has to apologise for celebrating a victory.
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Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Subject:Lazy Sunday
Time:6:26 pm.
Mood: lazy.
Music:Machine Head - Left Unfinished.
Pretty lazy day so far...

Watched Chelsea V Liverpool (1-0) and Manchester United V Arsenal (0-1). My beloved team of underachieving players managed a shock 2-0 win away at West Ham United as well which was a nice unexpected result. Currently watching a Steve Irwin tribute programme on tv while waiting on some home made steak and kidney pie with tons of vegetables.

Later i'm probably going to check on a friend who i know is really hurting right now and some random crap on tv, as usual i'll fall asleep watching the New York Yankees V Boston Red SUX game.

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Saturday, September 16th, 2006

Subject:The words keep falling on the page
Time:4:38 pm.
Music:Atreyu - Creature.
Continuing through the same routine. Each waking day is a valuable lesson and a day closer to my inevitable destiny. Taking it one day at a time is all i can expect myself to do.

effort. desire. learning. yearning. appreciate. sacrifice. acceptance. belief. trust.

Past demons won't go away.

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Thursday, June 15th, 2006

Subject:World Cup
Time:9:40 pm.
Mood: chipper.
Music:Sweden V Paraguay on tv.
So far the World Cup has been really amazing, the referees are clamping down on the stupid stuff and they are not afraid to give yellow cards early in the game. Usually defenders get away with a few tackles before the referee decides to start giving yellow cards.

Spain, Ecuador, Germany and the Czech Republic have impressed me while Poland and France have failed to shine. Brazil, Holland and Sweden seem fairly ordinary but Brazil are still my pick to win the tournament (as they always are).

England won 2-0 today against Trinidad & Tobago and the scoreline flattered us a little bit however we have qualified for the next stage with a game spare.

I love it when itv have a game live and David Pleat is commentating, within 5 seconds of the game starting he says "evening all" to the viewers at home like we are only watching the game to hear his wonderful voice.

John Terry saved a certain goal today and i loved this picture, it looks like he's about to land on Rio Ferdinand.

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Saturday, June 10th, 2006

Subject:Lazy - Random Shizzle - England - Music
Time:4:06 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Music:Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Phenomena.
I'm glad my mother is finally able to stomach some food and she's feeling a lot better. At least she has some colour in her face now. I could tell she was feeling better yesterday morning when she was shouting at my sister.

I've decided on a lazy day today since yesterday i was pretty busy. I could have relaxed at Sean's and drank a silly amount of alcohol while watching 3 world cup games but i just felt the need to relax.

England were nothing more than average against Paraguay, first half they were pretty good in attack but i think fatigue set in for the second half because they seemed so drained. A 1-0 victory for us was enough despite the attempts from Paraguay to dive and act like they'd been shot by a sniper every time a tackle was made. The Mexican referee was the worst excuse for an official i've seen in a while (yes even worse than Uriah Rennie).

Listening to some of the music i've been downloading lately mainly The Kooks, be your own PET and the last Yeah Yeah Yeahs album.

The rest of my night = beer, Trinidad & Tobago V Sweden, beer, Argentina V Ivory Coast, beer, baseball online, beer, pass out @ a silly hour of the morning.
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Saturday, June 3rd, 2006

Time:12:59 am.
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Thursday, June 1st, 2006

Subject:Random is as random does or something
Time:3:25 pm.
Mood: hungry.
Music:Velvet Revolver - You Got No Right.
It's June already, where have the last few months dissapeared to? My old work place finally closed down last week and they are having a chinese meal next week for most of the people that have worked there over the years. I realised that this guest list could include 2 of my ex girlfriends and a woman i was convinced i was in love with for a number of years, now that might be an entertaining night.

I seem to be emailing people a lot lately instead of chatting on messengers mainly because when i do talk to certain people they bring up stuff from the past and i feel like i'm constantly having to defend my opinions or actions. I'm fine defending things i've said in the past and i realise that some of the things i've said were wrong but i just get tired of repeating myself and having to explain why i frequently need to dissapear and need space.

Another random image i found online while stumbling around the internet.

White Sands, New Mexico, USA.

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Monday, May 29th, 2006

Subject:Scared to even open my mouth
Time:2:44 pm.
Mood: optimistic.
Music:The Jam - Carnation.
I'm feeling optimistic and fairly calm at the moment (about life in general) and i have to force myself to even write when i'm feeling like this. I usually expect something negative to happen to myself or those close to me to balance these feelings out. I shouldn't think like this but it's the classic case of "what goes up, must come down".

I'm still feeling drunk from last night and boy did i have a drink, so drunk i even fired up my webcam and forgot it was on so my friends watching just saw me staring at the screen and frowning a lot.

Slowly but surely catching up with people and general conversation has been really nice these past few days.

I'll leave with a safe for work image that shows exactly what i'm craving right now.


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Friday, May 26th, 2006

Time:3:17 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:Jimi Hendrix - Hot Trigger.
I either stop updating for days/weeks at a time or update 3 times a day with random stuff.

I will have this tetris shelf if i have to sell my sister to pay for it.

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Time:1:01 pm.
Mood: nostalgic.
Music:James Brown - I Got You (I Feel Good).
I'm so reluctant to chat to people online these days and i'm not sure why. I was deleting tons of picture files that i don't need anymore from my hard drive and i found a file called "too many windows". I'd taken a screen cap of me talking to 7 people at once and still broadcasting my webcam all at the same time. These days just talking to people seems like such an effort on my part. I really hope this changes soon because i've had some really good times just talking to people. I used to talk to a few people religiously every single day for anything from 2-6 hours a day and i'd always find out something new about them. I miss those days.
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Blurty for stop saying "what if".

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