Zina's Journal

Monday, January 22, 2007

8:23AM - Newbie

Just joined to meet some new people from different places or maybe even around the corner. Who knows? I work part time but it seems like full-time. I don't have any kids and I live with my boyfriend. I don't have too much of a life. I speak with my faminly every now and then. I really only have two friends from school that I still speak to. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up but I don't know if I'm going.

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8:10AM - Getting some stuff off my chest.

Ok I was just thinking this morning that I will be 29 later this year. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and the talks we used to have about marriage have stopped. I don't know if I've done something to turn him off or if I'm just not good enough anymore. I bend over backwards to make sure that he's taken care of. I don't get too much attention from him but seriously I don't even care anymore. I just want to know if I'll be a bride before I'm 30 or should I just give up on the thought. He was married before but his ex-wife took his money and kids. I can't bare him any children and I don't want his money. So what could possibly be standing in our way? Does he not trust that I'll be with him until my/our dying day? I've given up so much of myself to please him. I still love to laugh and play but life outside of this house has dwindled down to my going to work and to the grocery store. I don't know . I guess I'm just really paranoid about not being his wife and remaining a girlfriend for life.

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