Harley's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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My day... just like every other day [29 Jan 2004|09:28pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | SOAD ]

First period we watched a boring movie about how to resolve conflicts xþ... I sat and crocheted through the movie. Second period we lectured about the Macbeth essay I crocheted through that also. In third period we took a bunch of notes... the teacher takes them up for a grade every time we take a test xþ. He makes us write too many notes. I crocheted after we finished notes. In fourth period we watched Big Daddy... I crocheted. Lunch was great, I got to see Scott, he took me to CTC where I saw his classes and met his teacher. Argh! I hate I have to leave my entries so short, but it's time for bed >xþ. I'm starting to hate sleep, I blame it on school. Night.


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SOAD BABY [29 Jan 2004|05:57pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | SOAD ]

After lunch, things just got weirder and weirder. On my way to CATE, we stopped at a red light and there was an old man that closely resembled Santa Claus without the suit that stopped next to us. My bus driver looked over at him and noticed he was staring into the bus and my bus driver said he was checking us out. I looked over and he waved and smiled. x_x It was very creepy. Nothing too interesting happened at welding, I decided to help with the chopper today, but I didn't do anything xþ, I just wanted to get away from the people on the pit... they were being dangerous and stupid. If I remember I'm bringin the digital camera so I can take pictures of it. It not complete but it's so pretty XD. After welding that one guy handed me another letter... an apology letter xþ, bleh.

I think I did pretty good driving home today XD, I thought my parents were going to have a heart attack though. I was doing the speed limit... sort of. Come on I didn't hit anybody, or anything, or run over curbs xþ, or slam into the garage doors... again x_x. That was fun, but I was in shock and cried that day lol. I was scared xþ.

I love shrimp but when my mom stir fries it, I'm just going to have to pass on it. My dog won't eat it either, I thought that was weird. She'll eat the fried shrimp tails though XD. I love fried shrimp XDDD. Now I want to go back to the on place... umm... Henderson's? I think and eat their jumbo fried shrimp *drools* they were so delicious... oh man, this shrimp is crappy now lol. I want real jumbo shrimp not this small little stuff xþ.

OMG Scott is calling, very unexpected XDDDD. I love it XDDDD.


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READ!! [26 Jan 2004|09:52pm]
[ mood | worried ]
[ music | System of a Down ]

In my english class my teacher was warning us about gas pumps. Check the pump handle you are using carefully, my teacher said there are people going around sticking infected needles on them, yes with the AIDS or HIV virus. Be careful!!! Great I have to end this entry... it's bedtime xþ. Nighty night. Sweet dreams.


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not a surprise [24 Jan 2004|04:44pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | none ]

Parent were screaming at each other... yeah I want to get out of here soon xþ. I'm getting sleepy. I finally got some 10 pound weights and I was lifting them for about an hour, there was nothing else to do. My arms are a tad sore, not too much though. Haha! I have nothing else to write at the moment.


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another survey XD [23 Jan 2004|09:40pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | none x_@ ]

last cigarette: 7th grade
last kiss: Today at lunch XD
last cry: Too long ago
last library book: A bunch of motorcycle books
personality disorders: Dunno
last movie seen: Mall Rats
last book read: Reading Macbeth at the moment
last cuss word uttered: fuck
last beverage drank: Pepsi
last food consumed: Ravioli
last phone call: Scott I believe
last tv show watched: I don't remember
last time showered: Last night... I'm about to ion a few minutes
last shoes worn: My steel toed boots
last cd played: System of a Down
last item bought: I don't remember
last soda drank: Pepsi
last thing written: My last journal entry
last key used: y
last word spoken: Buh bye
last sleep: Too long ago
last im: Kevin
last sexual fantasy: I don't have too many of those anymore
last ice cream eaten: XD... Today at lunch
last time wanting to die: I never really wanted to die, I guess maybe in middle school
last lipstick used: In May at prom... horrid color xþ
last time dancing: It was with Scott
last show attended: I don't remember

I HURT: No more

I LOVE: being with Scott

I HATE: losing friends

I FEAR: my past

I HOPE: for too many things

I FEEL: Happy

I HIDE: when I'm sad

I DRIVE: occasionally

I MISS: the good old days

I NEED: something to do

I THINK: high school sucks

Current music: none x_@
Current hair: Long, tied back, auburn brown
current thing i should be doing: Hanging out with Scott
current desktop picture: American flag
What do you most like about your body? Soft skin
.. And least? Acne... or hair
How many fillings do you have? None.
Do you think you're good looking? sometimes.
Do other people often tell you that you're good looking? someone special does XD
Do you look like any celebrities? not really
Words of wisdom: Think positively, smile, enjoy life

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So he does still log on [22 Jan 2004|09:45pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | news ]

Like Diana and Scott, I also knew a guy since I was about 3-4 and I've been trying to talk to him, and on one of my screen names he'll still log in, but it's weird because a couple minutes after he'll log back out with out saying anything. I think it's just AOL being weird, I hate AOL... I know Cole did that sometimes also. Yeah this guy was my next door neighbor for almost 10 years. He was like a brother to me XD, I want to know how he's doing... I haven't talk to him in about a year. Him and my brother used to gang up on me and do mean things to me, but a couple years before he moved it was me and him ganging up on my brother... and we did some pretty horrible things to my brother, which I won't say because it was mean, lol. Maybe one day I'll get to say hi again. I miss the good old days XDDD. I'm tired now. Probably going to bed soon so I'm going to end this now.


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One more day... [22 Jan 2004|04:24pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | The Simpsons ]

Tomorrow it will be a month XD. I forgot to ask Scott a lot of things during lunch, but I think that's why I was so quiet... I couldn't remember anything I wanted to ask. The first thing is... tomorrow if we are able to hang out I thought it would be a cool idea if we took those couple pictures at the mall XD. Wow I forgot the other thing I was going to ask... hmm... must've not been too important I guess... Maybe I'll remember it before I finish writing this XD.

Today was much like yesterday. There was a lot of note taking though, I hate note taking, but it's so much better then sitting around doing nothing. I think I have a test tomorrow, it's over nutrient stuff... I'm sure I'll get an A, I took all my notes, and we're allowed to use them on the test XD. In english we're supposed to write a 1000-1500 word paper on one of the characters of "Macbeth". I'm looking in spark notes right now for the one with the most information, which is probably Macbeth himself... Alright! they have a character analysis. They don't have much though. That would be so awesome if my english teacher used the spark notes Macbeth quiz XD.. I just took it and saw the answers. We're only on act 2 right now.

Welding was awesome XD, I used the plasma cutter today. I love the plasma cutter lol. I used the stomp sheer and the chopsaw also. I'm not heavy enough for the stomp sheer, there was another guy on the other end stomping on the thing with me... we were too light, but we got it cut out XD. For the VICA competition they're only allowing 5 people from every chapter to go compete and Mr. Foster wants to take the best 5 welders and I know I'm not one of the top 5, so I doubt I'll have to worry about him wanting me to go XD.

Hmm.. how odd... Charles wasn't being an ass to me in welding. He let me use his welding helmet, it's one of those automatic lenses... I love those things XD. My welding is starting to look... nasty. I guess I don't have much patients for it anymore, I did get one thing tacked together all level and pretty and stuff, but I couldn't get the other side to do the same x_@. I just need more practice, but I'd rather get better with GTAW. Oh yeah, I got arch flash right now... I'm about to do like last year and wear sunglasses for a while. My eye hurts @_; and I'm so dirty... my pants are covered in black stuff.

Lunch was great. I get so much happier when I get to see Scott, he's so sweet. I hope he gets on soon so I can talk to him XD. I'm getting bored and hungry. Hurry Scott XDD. *muah*


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Work [21 Jan 2004|04:18pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | none ;_; ]

XD I actually did something during school!! First period we were watching renissance man but then we had to go to an assembly to meet three guys from the houston astros. I don't know what the purpose of the was, I should've voted to stay in the classroom, oh well. I missed some of english also, but they didn't do much when I was gone, I'm already caught up XD. Third period we did nothing but watch a movie... but I fell asleep, it was about capitalism x_x, and I swear I've seen that movie in my Government class. Fourth period we took notes xþ. At lunch I sat at the front for a few minutes then I headed to the library hoping I'd find something interesting to read... but I didn't because our library sucks. In my welding class Mr. Foster put me in the group that works on the pit. I was cutting so much metal today XD, it was so awesome... too bad I didn't get to use the plasma cutter but I think using the OFC torch it would be easier sicne I was cutting on expanded metal. All the guys were goofing off, but I'm not complaining I was happy working XD. They need to goof off more, lol. My arms are tired from holding the torch so long though. That's the main reason why I want to lift weights. I'm going to go now, I'm hoping to hang out with Scott today XD.


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Is it really you? [20 Jan 2004|05:36pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | Buckethead-Colma ]

Wow, guess who I ran into at Wal-Mart today... Savannah XD. She didn't look like she was in a good mood either. And I have no idea what that guy was talking about when he said she had a big chip in her tooth... her teeth were beautiful XD, but she was depressed. She just got back in school, I think she said a charter school. But at least she's still going to school. I just finished reading Scott's journal and I giggled the whole time XD. He pretty much summed up the whole day yesterday. It was great XD, his parents are great, Scott is great XD. I told my mom that if we ever needed a ride to Temple to go to the fabric store Scott's mom can take us, but of course my mom doesn't feel comfortable talking to ANYBODY! x_@ My parents are weird.

Yesterday I couldn't stop smiling, all I could think about was Scott. When we went to the fabric store him and his mom were helping me pick out a dress design and fabric XD. The fabric was way too expensive for me. I hope something nice shows up at Hobby Lobby soon, or I find something good at Temple. Lol... I'm smiling XD. I fell asleep around 1 last night, when I got home I was all active and such, and I couldn't stop talking, but then when I got tired and wanted to go to bed my mom wouldn't stop talking to me x_x, plus my dad was in the shower and I needed to brush my teeth. I hate having only one bathroom in this house, it really sucks.

And oh yeah my mom was telling me about how we got our electric bill a lot lower. I think it was during the summer the bill was $180 and we were with TXU, but now they changed to... uh... I forgot who they are but it's now only $80, but that also depends on if your heater is electric or gas. All our neighbors were getting really high bills also, but one of them told us about this company and we decided to try it. Good thing we did XD.

When we came back from Austin and Scott and I were just talking, that was... I don't know how to put it in words, it was great XD. It was better then great, I love talking to him. We always have fun XD, plus we are so open with each other. Nothing I've ever experienced before. I hope Scott isn't afraid to ask me anything because I've been asking him a lot lol, but I like to make sure I'm not going to end up with another asshole XDD. And so far since I've met him he doesn't seem assholey at all, so I'm happy XDDD.

xþ Some chicks at lunch tried to take my sitting spot, but I knew one of them so I talked to her until they left only a couple minutes after and I sat at my spot XDD. NOBODY CAN HAVE >xþ, some things I just can't share XDDD. I saw a few guys walking by, one of them picked up something from the ground and decided to throw it at me... sad thing is I've never seen this guy before. People have issues, they're so mean xþ *sigh* only a little more then 4 months left... please hurry please please please. I'm sick of this high school bullshit.

We do nothing in class anymore. Tomorrow I'm just going to beg all my teachers for homework ;_;. Either let me stay home and sleep or give me something worth getting up to take the challenge. And welding just sucks now... everyone is trying to get ready for competition and I'm not going. I want to stay in the corner and weld but Mr. Foster took down all the screens xþ. I'm a helper now, it's alright I guess. I stay with all the chopper people XD. Chopper *drools* I see one everyday I go to Cate XDDDD. I pass it by on the bus on that one street XD. EEEEEEE... Shawn brought his three wheeler to school. It was awesome, but he decided to use the motor on it for the mini chopper. I can't wait to see it finished... if it ever gets finished.

Yeah I need a job badly, I think next time Scott and I go driving somewhere I'm going ask to stop by a couple places to pick up applications. I figured it out... the teachers grade me on how I sleep. You know, I never went to pre-k, but now I have XD. In my English class there was this girl asking everyone if they smoked or tried pot. When she got to me she said, "I know you've done it before", without asking and we've never spoken to each other much before. Do I just look like some kind of stoner? People always thought I was, but no I'm not XDDD. I used to just stare off in space all the time and not say a word for a few hours, but I've changed a lot since then XDDD. I hated my freshman year, people were mean lol. People are mean, wait a minute I've said this before already haven't I?

I can't wait for that 4 day weekend in February XD. I can't wait to give blood again XD. I want to try giving plasma, this guy I knew did it as much as possible and he got my bus driver in to that, but i think she quit after the first few times. She got bruised badly. And I'm rambling about nothing. I'm bored, play with meeeeee!!! Okay... I'm going to go do dishes and take a shower and hopefully Scott will be on by the time I come back XDD


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He charges at her [17 Jan 2004|02:59pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | beep beep beep ]

My brother came home and we fight... of course. I wanted the phone he wanted the internet, we only have one phone line... yeah it sucks. He should've just left me alone for a few minutes and I would've fallen asleep and he could've had the internet probably an hour before, but he decided to keep me up instead. Yeah, he disconnected all the phones before I could call Scott back xþ and he took all the wires with him the his room and locked the door. When I tried to get the guitar back my mom told ME to leave HIM alone, she didn't say anything to my brother >xþ. I'm always getting in trouble, this sucks *sigh*. Hey, it's that one guy Mikey... standing right behind me... that was creepy... I thought Amanda came with my brother then I heard this really weird not really manly but manly and high pitched voice. I swear the guy sucks on helium everyday.

So my brother got everything last night, the phone, the internet, and the guitar with the amp ;_;. I was bored and angry last night. It wasn't cool. I do have the chopstick now though, it opens the door. Time is going by way to slow... Still almost 2 hours until I might get to see Scott. Yay! Kevin just signed on! XD. Now I feel like watching this one cd I have XDDDD. I know after or during it will be time for Scott to get off work at least.


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It's cold and wet [16 Jan 2004|04:59pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Minerva-Deftones ]

Today started out wet xþ and I wore a white shirt xþ. It wasn't bad though, I had a jacket to cover me. The day sucked so far. In my first period we did nothing, in my second period we did nothing, in my third period we did nothing x_x, in my fourth period we did presentations but everything came out of the book so it was like doing nothing xþ, in my welding class I walked from the bus to the portible.. got a little wet... I open the door nobody was in there, so I had to run to the welding shop, when I got there Mr. Foster decided he wanted to go to the portible >xþ. I was already soaking wet, and then Dude pushed me out in the rain >xþ. Nobody left with Mr. Foster when he told everyone to go to the classroom. We just stood there and looked at him like he was crazy. A couple guys grabbed cardboard to put over their heads. I think after about 10-20 minutes I walked to the classroom... that sucked. And oh yeah in welding we did nothing. I wanted to keep my pants dry so I wouldn't be cold when I came home but that didn't happen. If I take my boots off my feet will be wet... they're already cold. Please, turn the heater up please please please!!!!!!! I can't find my hoodie ;_;.

Oh yeah... on my way to the bus I turned a corner and I smelt this funny smell that I haven't smelt in almost a year now. It brought back memories *sigh* I thought maybe it was just me but then I heard a cough in the corner, so I turned around and of course there standing on the stairs was a guy smoking pot. How very interesting... I'm surprised they don't have teachers guarding that place. And... like... oh yeah... like there was this girl on my bus and... like she was talking like this... like... yeah. And she wanted to... like get to know me better, so like... she started talking to me... and like GUESS WHAT?!? Her birthday is like... TOMORROW! How sweet is that?!? She has definitely been smoking waaaaaay too much. The chick is... annoying, yeah that's a good word for it. I can't get any sleep on the bus with her yapping about how much she likes this foriegn exchange student, and she's not even telling all this to me xþ.

After school I got in the car and we were on our way home. We had to take many detours to dodge the flooding roads, but I think we ran into the most flooded road in the neighborhood. I don't know what my dad was thinking, but he decided to go through meadow drive which is right next to the ditch, that road was horrible.
My dad thought he could make it through, well he was wrong. We got stuck in the middle of the road, so my parents got out and pushed the car to higher ground so they could try to start the engine, which it did start. There was a little water in the engine but I guess not enough. Right now I really wish we had a truck... that would be awesome, something really high off the ground XD. I like trucks lol. I'm not sure if it's still raining but the dip on leader was all flooded, we couldn't go through that either. so we had to make all these turns and go all the way around the neighborhood to get to the house. It sucked, I'm cold and wet.

I miss you Scott *muah*. I hope we can hang out today, I'm so bored right now. Scott is working, and Kevin probably isn't on because of the rain. I'm going to go get my guitar. In my economics class I fell asleep while we watched a movie. I was so comfortable, I felt like I was back in my room laying on my bed. I didn't feel paranoid XD, the people sitting next to me aren't idiots. The guy next to me is Zach and the guy behind him is Adam, yes... Neoda's little brother. They both sleep too, lol. The class is boring xþ, but the teacher is cool. I tried to sleep in welding but... eh. I couldn't. I'm going to go guitar now.


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Yesderday [16 Jan 2004|04:43pm]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | ]

;_; I hate when I wake up earlier then I need to. Last night I woke up at 2:20 am because I thought I over slept, the first time I looked at the clock I thought it said 7:20. I seem to be doing that a lot lately though. Scott came and picked me up for lunch XD. We hung out at a parking lot. I was wide awake then, but when he dropped me off at my bus I felt so tired. I couldn't keep my eyes awake and I didn't like that feeling much, makes me feel kind of unsafe especially for the class I was going to. That guy writes angry poetry all over the welding shop and a bunch of people found it, read it, and made fun of him. Plus they called him psycho, which I have to agree with them. When I left the shop my parents said he stared at me the whole time I was going to the car. Also during welding he wouldn't stop looking at me, he hid in the corner and looked over the stack of metal. It was very creepy. My parents are worried about me being in the class with him. Oh and that's another reason I don't want to go to competition. I just really don't trust him at all. Everybody wants me to go, and I'm guessing they all think I am and I already told Shawn I wasn't he didn't look too happy about that. He told me to go because I'm fun to hang out with, but I'm sure the guys will find something better to do then to bug me the whole time. I hated it last year, it was boring and that was the day I found out my ex was lieing to me again... AGAIN! >xþ I hate liars... yup. So I was also pissed off that day xþ. Sometimes I swear people just enjoy making me angry, they just do it to see if I do get angry xþ.

Scott we need to hang out more... lol. *muah* I'm falling asleep and my mom is calling me so I better go now before she gets angry xþ.


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So lonely, I love it XD [14 Jan 2004|09:10pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Everything I Do-Bryan Adams ]

Yay! Wow, I saw Kyle today at school and talked to him for a little bit. It sucks that he dropped out of school, he was awesome. He had orange hair... well orange tips, it was cool XD. I was sitting all alone at lunch... I was going to go hang with Mike but he moves around too much, lol. So I sat in the front of the building all by myself, just the way I like it. The only time I really talk to soneone is in the morning and that's not much, or when Scott comes to visit XD, still we have those silent moments, but it's usually because I'm tired.

Welding was very awkward, some of the guys were giving me that go over there and see what's wrong with him look. Yeah, and I did, and... well.... *growl* The guy apologized to me for everything he's done to upset me, so I just shruged it off, but I'm not going to let him crap up my day with his problems again. Today he told me his legs aren't working properly, he walked funny. And yes, I had to be the one to help him walk down the long hall becasue people were giving me that go help him look xþ. Everyone is afraid to help the guy, they all expect me to do it all the time. Haha, when the guy was telling me about stuff Charles gave me that you poor thing look, and Charles doesn't like me much, he's always trying to make me angry just because it amuses him xþ. I hate Ellison people... okay I don't hate all of them, I've met a few that I can stand. But they've all already graduated 2-3 years ago.

After school I went to Wal-Mart and ate some popcorn chicken... I was hungry x_x. Came home and Scott called me as soon as I got on the internet x_x... lol. He picked me up and we went to Hastings, Best Buy, and Dairy Queen XD. Best Buy was great XD, we brang up the first time we met there and it was great XD. Dairy Queen was interesting, we sat there and talked about weird things while eating out an ice cream cone lmao XD. Oh and Hasting for a while everywhere we turned there was a book about sex. We were just joking around the whole night, it was fun XD.

My brother came home to pick something up. I showed him the amp Scott let me borrow and he sat there and played with it with Tony and Amanda... my room was very crowded x_x. and I had bras laying everywhere, I hope they didn't notice... lol. Oh well they were clean. And Amanda tuned my guitar XD. She's good lol. I want more pills but I'm sure my mom will freak out. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, the guy is going to turn to smoking pot to get rid of the headache he has. The guy's already in bad shape now he's going to be in worse shape, I guess it won't be that bad if he doesn't get caught. Before I told him if he's going to do it I would go with him just to make sure he doesn't get hurt or lost, now I'm just not going to put myself in that situation, it is stupid, it was fun when I did it that one time, but it was stupid and scary. But today I felt kind of back in that relaxed state from the pain killers I took, which was only three, not all at once. There are times where I wish I could feel that relaxed again *sigh*

Oh yeah I'm going to do an experiment which will require no caffeine for about 2 months. Reasons: I heard if you have no caffeine a week before or during your period you won't have cramps or at least they won't be so bad. Other reason is because I"M SICK OF CRAMPS!!!!!!!! All the pain killers I take for it is just sickening. So Scott no pepsi or coke products for me for a while, just water and juices. I woke up this morning in so much pain and my parents were yelling at me so much because I refused to move... plus I was too tired anyway. They were just being mean xþ. I remember for I think a month I only drank water and capri sun and my cramps weren't so bad, they weren't anything that I needed to take pain killers for. Haha, I've noticed a week before my period starts I start to think I'm getting fatter xþ. This month I was gaining weight but I wasn't getting fatter. Some people used to call me a stick before I ran away from the crowd, now they don't see me enough to do that lol. I fell skinnier now XD.

My parents are yelling at me x_x. I have to go to bed xþ I hate sleeping... but I love it so much XD. Me off now.


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Food [13 Jan 2004|04:26pm]
[ mood | flirty ]
[ music | March of the Black Queen-Queen ]

Lunch was great XDD. Scott picked me up from the high school and brought me to CTC for some hamburgers XD. And I saw Java XDDD!!!!! I miss her so much, talked to her for a split second and then followed Scott to our table. That was cool. Too bad I was so tired today, I didn't feel like talking or doing anything, I just sat there trying to stay awake.

Oh yeah... Mr. Foster put me in a group with... *DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN* that one guy AND that one other guy. Yeah... both of them xþ. But I don't have to stay with the group if I don't want to. Mr. Foster also said if I wanted to change groups or make something myself I could XDDD. O.o Should I make metal jewerly boxes? It just seems so... bleh to me. Who would want a jewerly box unless you're really good at making them. I want to do my own little project but I don't know what to make. I guess what I want to do is build something small enough for the tig machine... I still pondering about it. I might as well not though. Since I'm not going to competition... maybe, lol... I don't know if I do want to go or not... I'm sure Mr. Foster is going to make me enter a speech contest x_x. I'm definitely not going if he does... I don't do speeches xþ, I know I know, one day I will have to learn, but right now I don't xþ.

The guys in my welding class are.... weird. Dude kept pushing me and tickling my EAR with a piece of paper >xþ. Shawn took my pick away from me ;_;, but gave it back probably becasue I wouldn't stop following him unless he gave it back. Bucky... is... retarded... yup, well, he was acting like a special ed. student. Which is mean, but I have to admit I laughed because he does it so well. He messed up his hair and put a welding helmet head strap on... it was broken... and put on the huge, clear safety classes we had last year. He walked into the hall and acted like he was getting water for the coffee maker and a teacher walked by him and looked back at him when he passed by... it was hilarious. You had to be there though and see the way he looks. Once, the guys told me about it, he walked up to a girl and started hitting on her acting like that, lmao... too bad I wasn't there to see, I was probably welding. I've gotten so lazy it just sucks xþ.

I saw Scott during my lunch and I already miss him *muah* XD. This is great XDD, I'm not so down and depressed like I usually get every month. I didn't even get depressed last month XDDD. Yay! Kevin just sent March of the Black Queen by Queen. This song is cool XD. I have to eat now.


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Help! [12 Jan 2004|04:22pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | nothing ]

Today was all great and such. During lunch I did go sit at the usual spot with Mike, but then after a few minutes past I said I was going to the bathroom and I would be right back while he grabbed his food, I went to the bathroom then walked around the cafeteria for not a long time, but I couldn't find him... not like I was really looking anyway. I went out in my hiding spot andjust sat and thought about everything and anything. I got up and walked to my bus 5 minutes before the bell rang. My day was crapped up at the usual time.

I got to welding and didn't have a problem with the guy, he stayed away from me and I was happy. When we took our bathroom break and stayed in the shop I think he was staring at me but I could just be paranoid, probably. Anyway, next thing I know he's in the hallway laying on the floor, I didn't see him but one of the janitors spotted him and told Mr. Foster. I feel really bad about it. And I don't want to email him but I do, and I don't want to ask him about it because I know he'll mope and complain about it all day, and use me to get anger out. Which makes me angry and depressed xþ. I think he was taken to the hospital and I feel really bad ;_;. They say it's because of low blood sugar, but I'm sure this wouldn't have happened if I was still friends with the guy. He probably hasn't eatin since last week. I knew I would feel bad about this. Maybe it's because I'm in the process of learning about self respect, before I didn't care how badly someone treated me... i'd still be nice or be friends with them no matter what. It's different now... a little. I'm learning, and this is making me go crazy. Should the things he said to me not matter or should I just forget about him?

Yay! scott is calling me so I'm going.


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Cheer me up XD [11 Jan 2004|08:10pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Drowning Pool-Tear Away ]

Scott was being too sweet yesterday XDD. He was cheering me up the whole time, I get a paranoia feeling everytime the guy is mentioned. After dinner we went to the mall. I wanted to get out of the house quick, I was afraid what's his face would show up at my house and my mom would get involved... I can't believe I'm saving his ass from my mom. She would do lots of damage to him mentally, he so mentally weak. And I'm too nice xþ.

Well after the mall we made a quick stop at walmart to buy a movie... Underworld XDDDDD. My computer was being a bum when it got to the middle of the movie. It started to skip a lot, so we moved to the living room, that was fun XD. I couldn't stay awake and I wanted to fall asleep because I was so comfortable but I don't know. We had many tickle fights XD, just to smile and laugh. I hate cold nights, after watching all the special features we went outside to say good bye. And every little move you made on that couch it would squeak really loud... I didn't want to wake my dad up. So we stood out in the cold hugging, because well, we're crazy lol. I hope I get to see him tomorrow XD, and during my lunches, Tuesdays and Thursdays maybe... remember that XD.

My journals have been getting shorter... maybe its because I make about 2-3 a day. I'm getting bored. I'm guitarin for a while now and talk to Scott and Kevin.


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Is that the wind speaking? [11 Jan 2004|04:33pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Marliyn Manson-Beautiful People ]

He's going to kill himself and it's going to be all my fault. I don't know what to do or am I freaking out too much? He was an ass to me. Blah, yestersday. BLAH!!!!! He calls again!!! At this moment, right now. Why? Why are you still calling me?!? Everytime I go on this site he calls!!! For the rest of my senior year, I'm never having a day where he doesn't call me ;_;. "You weren't supposed to see that letter". A little late now isn't it? Disgusting. "I still want to be friends, I can't lose you as a friend". x_x I'm screwed, plus he knows what I'm doing after high school, me and my welding teacher was talking about it infront of the class, and then this guy tells me he's going to be a fire fighter there so he could be close to me >xþ. You're so freaking creepy, go away.

Yesterday Scott ate dinner with us, he came by around 6 I think. First Kevin called me, but since it's long distance I wasn't able to return the call. A few minutes later that one guy calls and leaves a 50 sec message on callwave. I was angry, and scared, it was a creepy message. I'll write more later. I'm going to shower.


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Friday night [09 Jan 2004|08:20pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | Gravity Kills ]

... and 4 hours later I'm still bored ;_;. This sucks, I'm not used to this staying home late at night anymore lol. Plus nobody is on the internet x_x, which makes it even worst. Where is everybody? I'd go walking but it's kind of cold and dark right now. I hate phones so I'm definitely not going to call anyone... unless it's the only thing left to do ;_;. I looked up a recipe for cheesecake... I might make it I love cheesecake XD. Maybe loud music will calm me down. I hope I don't get this bored while in college, boredom makes me angry and tense. *turns music on* hmm... this is helping XD. I don't know what to write anymore.

number of times i have been in love: I might be right now XD
number of hearts i have broken: 1 but we weren't going out, he was obsessed
number of boys i have kissed in my life: umm... maybe 3-4
number of girls i have kissed: without tongue 2 with tongue 0
number of continents i have visited: 3
number of drugs taken illegally: 1
number of people i would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: 3
number of people from high school that i stayed in contact with: what if your still in high school?
number of cd's that i own: x_x 1923847293847
number of piercings: 0 ;_;
number of tattoos: 0 ;_;
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 5 or less
number of scars on my body: umm... a lot
number of scars on my heart: They've all healed
number of people that have made me scared of what they could do to me physically: 1 >xþ
number of things in my past that i regret: I got over them

1. if there were 3 wells (love, beauty and creativity) and you could only drink from one, which would it be? Creativity
2. with problems, whom do you run to? Journal, Scott, Kevin
3. which finger is your favorite? It's a tie between my ring and pinky finger
4. what's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten? xþ octopus soup... er something, there were octopus in it xþ
5. would you kill someone? If I could get away with it
7. if you were making a movie about yourself, who would play the lead? I dunno
8. do you like your handwriting? Not at the moment
9. who are you jealous of? xþ Shawn! He welds so good
10. what kind of person do you want to marry? Haha... I don't want to answer this yet lol
12. what do you put on your sandwiches? Mayo, honey mustard, salt, pepper, lettuce, cheese, turkey, ham, and you can't forget the bread XDDD
13. do you think people on the Gap commercials are cool? No
14. if you were another person, would you be friends with you? I guess but there would be a lot of those awkward moments of silence
15. are you a daredevil? Sometimes
16. how big was the biggest mango you ever ate? I hate mangoes
17. have you ever told a secret you swore you'd never repeat? No
18. what do you think is the most attractive animated character? I dunno
19. do looks matter? Nope
20. favorite color? Green, black, grey, purple, red
22. are you trendy? No
23. what do you do to prevent anger? Write in here... do journal surveys
24. who is your idol? I don't have one
25. who is your second family? o.O
26. do you trust others easily? No
27. what was your favorite toy as a child? A toy cat

When was the last time you...
Smiled?: During welding
Laughed?: Lunch
Cried?: almost 2 months ago
Bought something?: Before Christmas
Danced?: Umm... whenever the last time me and Scott danced
Were sarcastic?: It's been too long my friend XD
Kissed someone?: umm... 2 days days ago
Talked to an ex?: gah! umm.. 2 months ago?
Watched your favorite movie?: a couple weeks ago XDD
Had a nightmare?: A month ago

A last time for everything...
Last book you read: I'm reading Macbeth right now
Last movie you saw: I don't remember
Last song you heard: A Gravity Kills song
Last thing you had to drink: Capri sun
Last time you showered: Last night
Last thing you ate: Mac and cheese

Do you...
Smoke?: No
Do drugs?: No
Have sex?: No
Sleep with stuffed animals?: No
Live in the moment?: I don't think so
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Yes
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: I have many dreams that come back
Play an instrument?: Guitar XDD, used to play french horn
Believe there is life on other planets?: Debating
Remember your first love?: x_x yes
Still love him/her?: eek... no
Read the newspaper?: Barely
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Yes
Believe in miracles?: No
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes
Consider love a mistake?: No
Like the taste of alcohol?: Yes
Have a favorite candy?: eww
Believe in astrology?: eh...
Believe in magic?: Not really
Believe in God?: No
Pray?: No
Go to church?: Never been
Have any secrets?: I dont know
Have any pets: Yes a dog
Do well in school?: Yup XD
Go to or plan to go to college?: TSTC XD
Have a major?: I'm going to major in aircraft piloting
Talk to strangers who instant message you?: No
Wear hats?: No
Have any piercings?: Not yet
Have any tattoos?: Not yet
Hate yourself?: Not really
Have an obsession?: *evil grin*
Have a secret crush?: Scott but he's no secret XD
Do they know yet?: We're going out XD
Collect anything?: PENNIES!!!
Have a best friend?: Yup
Wish on stars?: Yup
Like your handwriting?: Not at the moment
Have any bad habits?: umm... laziness?
Care about looks?: No
Boy/girlfriend's looks?: *drools*
Believe in witches?: No
Believe in Satan?: No
Believe in ghosts?: No

Umm... I think this is enough for tonight XDDD.


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Another survey XDD [09 Jan 2004|05:53pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Whatever is on TV ]

1. Spell your first name backwards: aseret
2. The story behind your user name: Harley Davidson
3. Are you a lesbian/homosexual: Nope, sorry gals.
4. Where do you live: Killeen, Texas
5. 4 words that sum you up: Bored, bored, bored, and bored

6. Wallet: I bought it while I was at Disney World
7. Hairbrush: Black, big
8. Toothbrush: Redish pink
9. Jewelry worn daily: 2 bracelets, 2 watches, 1 chain necklace
10. Pillow cover: purple
11. Blanket: purple, other has tigers
12. Coffee cup: Huge, and green XD
13. Underwear: umm.. o.O
14. Shoes: Brahma, steel toe boots
15. Favorite top: The Harley Davidson shirt Scott gave me for christmas XD
16. Cologne/Perfume: I don't wear any
17. CD in stereo right now: System of a Down?
18. Tattoos: None yet.
19. Piercings: None yet
20. What you are wearing now: Black shirt, and wide blue pants
21. Hair: A little longer then shoulder lenght, just dyed it auburn brown
22. Makeup: None.

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)
23. In my mouth: My tongue
24. In my head: Scott XD
25. Wishing: For Scott to hurry up and get online
26. After this: For that guy to leave me alone
27. Talking to: It was Kevin
28. Eating: About to eat chicken
29. Fetishes: So many.
30. If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason: I won't say
31. Person you wish you could see right now: Scott
32. Is next to you: A table
33. Some of your favorite movies: Pirates of the Caribbean, The Patriot, City of Angels, Lord of the Rings, blah blah blah
34. Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month: Donating blood on valentine's day XDD... er somewhere near that day
35. The last thing you ate: Crunchy granola bar
36. Something that you are deathly afraid of: Losing my friends.
37. Do you like candles: yes
38. Do you like hot wax: yes
39. Do you like incense: yes
40. Do you like the taste of blood: yes
41. Do you believe in love: yes
42. Do you believe in soul mates: Of course
43. Do you believe in love at first sight: Now I do.
44. Do you believe in Heaven: No
45. Do you believe in forgiveness: yes but it depends on what the person did
46. Do you believe in God: No
47. What do you want done with your body when you die: Not sure yet
48. Who is your worst enemy: x_x
49. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be: *drools* I love animals XD
50. What is the latest you've ever stayed up: All night
51. Ever been to Belgium: no
52. Can you eat with chopsticks: Sometimes
53. What's your favorite coin: PENNY!!!!!!
54. What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to: Austin, Houston, Orlando, San Antonio, and whatever city the Grand Canyon is in
55. What are some of your favorite pig out foods: Ice Cream
56. What's something that you wish people would understand: Life/Death
57. What's something you wish you could understand better: People
58. Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time: Scott XD
59. What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow: umm... be able to do something all day so that I'm not bored
60. my father thinks i am: Dunno
61. my mother thinks i am: Dunno
62. my sibling thinks i am: Dunno
63. my grandpa thinks i am: Dunno
64. my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks i am: cuter XD
65. your three best qualities: Open-minded, fun, smart.
66. three worst qualities: Quiet, shy, complicated... according to Dude, lol
67. three things you are often complimented for: My looks, my pants, my drawings
68. you get embarrassed when: I can't hold a conversation too long
69. makes you happy: Scott
70. upsets you: >xþ that one guy

71. you keep a diary: yes
72. you like to cook: Yes
73. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: I dunno
74. you fold your underwear: When I'm not lazy
75. you talk in your sleep: No
76. you bite your fingernails: No

77. movie you rented: One of the Jay and Silent Bob movies
78. movie you bought: X-men
79. song you listened to: I don't remember
80. song you've downloaded: Some new korn song
81. CD you listened to prior to the current one: Lynyrd Skynyrd?
82. person you've called: Scott
83. person that's called you: That guy >xþ
84. TV show you've watched: That 70's show

85. you wish you could live somewhere else: Yes
86. others find you attractive: Yeah.
87. you want more piercings: I don't have any yet... ;_;
88. you want more tattoos: I don't have any yet... ;_;
89. you drink: sometimes
90. you do drugs: Only did it twice
91. you like cleaning: sometimes
92. you like roller coasters: YES!
93. you write in cursive or print: Print
94. you carry a donor card: Yes XD

95. ever cried over a boy/girl: Yes, sadly enough to say. xþ
96. ever lied to someone: Who doesn't?
97. ever been in a fist fight: Yes
98. ever been arrested: No

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Me-ow [09 Jan 2004|04:55pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | nothing ]

x_x The guy doesn't even remember the long 6 page letter he wrote me. Blah, today was so freakin long and now I'm bored. Welding class was boring, we nominated people for positions in the VICA club, I was nominated for reporter... they wanted me to be the secretary xþ. The guy I hate was nominated for president, Aaron for vice president, Robert for treasurer... my last position last year, Dude wanted to be secretary but he was too late, and I forget the rest. I'm not going to the club meeting... well, not unless someone comes with me to stay for the whole thing... I have a feeling that guy will be there and I don't want to be in that awkward position. Both the first year and the second year people will be there... if they choose to come. I hated those meetings, but the food was great XDD.

Lol, my friend is so obsessed with that guy. I think Monday I'm going to go hide away from him so I don't have to stalk this guy with him... I somehow became his support for going up and talking to him, but he never does because he's too afraid that the guy will beat him up. Yup, I'm going to walk around the school starting Monday because I like to walk and be by myself or with someone I really know. It'll be okay Mike, I think with me gone he'll do much better though because then he won't have anyone to fall back on and he'll just do it. Why did I ever have to go back inside the building the same time he walks past the doors... I'm sure he'll bug me about it for a while. "Where were you?!? I needed you the most yesterday and the guy was blah blah blah... staring at me and I didn't know what to do. I needed you there with me!" *sigh* He swears the guy checks him out during the whole lunch period. If I were that guy I would be very afraid lol. Poor Mike, he gets crushes so easily. It's great to see him act like that though. When the guy goes inside he pulls me in.. when he goes out he pulls me out. He told me to talk to him, I said, "No that's okay." I refuse to be apart of this childish crush of his. I always thought Mike would be the one to go up to a guy and just say it with no worries, I was very wrong.

Scott! ;_; Save me. I'm so bored. I need to go to Hobby Lobby to check out material for my prom dress. It's going to be black and white XD. What the ffff...!?! That guy, >xþ, just called me. I just got myself in a good mood >xþ grrrrrrr!!!! *sigh* I even told him I didn't want to speak anymore. Didn't I tell you this can't be fixed! Argh! I'm going to go find something to do, I'll probably end up venting more >xþ.


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