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Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Subject: Beginning of the End Time: 12:56 am. Mood: contemplative.

So it has begun. At the dawn of the new year, I decided: It Must be Done. I have set in motion what must not be stopped for whatever reason, for it is 3 years overdue. A message that should have been sent years ago is being modified to match the times - but the message itself stays the same. A confession; an FYI. What ripples this pebble will make in the grand lake that is my being, I have yet to see. But ripple it shall. For I no longer trust that Fate will do this for me. I must act. Whatever happens after, I'll know it was because I moved; not because I stood aside and gathered moss and cobwebs. Fail as it might, I have no other moves left. It Must be Done. Or I shall never find rest.

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Subject: In retrospect... Time: 1:58 am. Mood: contemplative.

I just realized something today... exactly 12:03am of October 26. When I came home from SM's Mall Of Asia (MOA), I found a friend invite request on my Facebook page. Though I would usually wonder who it would be and smile or chuckle at who it eventually was (or have no clue in hell who it was), this time was different. Mind-blowingly different. It was Cris. If you've never been in a situation where you saw something and could not believe it, then allow me to explain. I was literally paused over the computer, looking at the face and the name. For a good amount of time, all I was doing was staring. Literally stopped in my tracks as all of a sudden all the memories came flooding back. Who Cris was, Where we first met, When we first met, Why we met, How it all happened... and the What. All of it. Like I was hit in the head with a brick of flashbacks composed of memories and feelings. And as I tried to analyze what my mind was going through, I had an epiphany. There was only one person in the entire world, perhaps the entire galaxy, that knew about the What. Even my best friends, the ones I made way back in gradeschool, can not possible fathom the depth of the What when it came to Cris. Even though they had an idea, even when they know, only one person truly understood. Hogi She was the one I went to, the one I confided with. Even as Ems learned of it, it was still only Hogi that I opened up to about the bulk of the What. Being privy to such information, she effectively falls into the category of friends I share my weaknesses to. Thinking about it now, Hogi is probably the best female friend I've ever had. At the very least, I trusted her that much; and I still do. If I asked for her ear, she'd offer it with a smile and a smart retort. And after a quick laugh, she'd offer her two cents AND a dime. But I hesitate to bother her with my failure.

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Subject: Facebook Ng Duga Time: 1:25 am. Mood: accomplished.

Yes... I got a Facebook account. Just a while ago I got one of Jameelah's texts. To describe it as "a welcome surprise" is a huge understatement. Straight out fact is that receiving her texts are a God-send to my effectively lonely cellphone. Outside of work and some calls from friends, Jameelah has been a very pleasant distraction from what one can consider a rather plain life. So basically, her text this time was to tell me that she will be heading back to England mid-October. Being half Filipina, her nationality is effectively British. Along the lines of asking how she was doing, and her returning the gesture, she asked me if I had a Facebook account. I did not. Not one for the hype of some commonly used Internet meme, I chose to avoid such Community sites after what I can only call as the Friendster-Flop. As clearly evidenced by my choice of an online Journal provider being NOT MULTIPLY, I prefer a little subterfuge to my personal ramblings. ANYWAY, after I told her I was Face-Less she explained that she had a Facebook and wanted to keep in touch with me after her departure. It was impossible to refuse. So... now I'm on Facebook, slowly learning the nuances of this 'famous' meme. Not because I want to be famous to the world, not for the LoLz, and most certainly not to be in the "In Crowd". No... I did it because she asked.

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Subject: A noteworthy slump Time: 10:28 pm. Mood: disappointed.

At the moment, I'm emailing a set of photos to a friend. It's a total of about 70+ pictures taken using my Nikon D70s; the best of the whole batch being the ones I'm currently emailing. The total number of photos for the event I was asked to shoot was 283. 70+ pictures out of 283. You don't even need to know advanced mathematics to know that's a huge ratio of failure. If I had been using a Film Body, I would've spent a large sum for a stach of photos I would just throw away. And it doesn't help to remind myself that I've had the D70s for 2 years now. Anyone else would've already mastered it by now to the point of having either taken more usefull shots, or less pictures with better qualities. I once read a photographer say that "a camera is just there to get out of the way of taking a picture." And I understand that fact to the core. When it comes to pictures, it's the photographer not the camera. 'cause at it's core, the camera is simply a slave to whoever uses it. So those 210+ photos that are just taking up memory space in a hard drive, they're my fault. I failed my D70s. Because unless it dies, it cannot fail me.

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Subject: Bleh... Time: 1:34 am. Mood: contemplative.

I knew I shouldn't have checked my Friendster, but i just had to find out why in the blue heck the Philippine's Secretary of Defense was adding me of all people. It's possibly a fake account as the only 2 times I've been in proximity to the guy was during the PMA graduation in Baguio where I got sunburned; and the most recent one being during Navy Day where he was proxy to GMA. But 'twas not him that made it a bother. As with all regrets, one only needs a single catalyst to overflow the surge of one's distraught. While checking my account, it was unavoidable that I would browse certain people in my list. Among them, two ladies stood out like a bad acupuncture needle placement. I found myself re-viewing Cris' account. Curse the Fates for the little time I was able to work with her. She has the distinction of being the most recent muse to my colorless life... albeit a long long while back. I had summarily decided that my affections for her were blind. With the aforementioned short time I had to acquaint myself with her, it was impossible for me to determine exactly who she was; let alone who she is now. What little details I noticed of her character, I can only presume I bloated out of character; seeing her as, and I quote, "the one." I could actually, if not deludedly, imagine holding her in my arms as our daughters ran around in a park. A portion of my mind was nagging at me, telling me not to let her go. But then the logic kicked in: I knew next to nothing about her; she knew even less about me. In what world could a retard like myself hope to win the affections of someone like her? In the movies, of course... where the plot is so twisted it made no factual sense. There, at least, I could run into her in a coffee shop, catch up, and start an actual relationship. Curse the silver screen. And of course, how can I not take a gander at the one who got away. Dearest Jenny... I am a blind fool. A blind, self-serving, arrogant fool. If anything, she showed me how i could not see the world as anything beyond what my part in it was. How could someone completely and utterly avoid the kindness a girl like her gave? Well I did. Whatever excuse I come up with, it doesn't change the fact that it was my ineptitude that now haunts the very fiber of my being; the shard in my defenses; the void. She was there, she was smiling... Not only did I ignore her, I was too afraid to try. And in my cowardice, I pushed her away. What Jenny thinks of me, I can only guess. But for sure, she sees me as a fool. Of course, she'd be completely right. Two failures, the worst I've ever made in my life, and I can't even do anything about it. Pathetic.

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Subject: Slowed down Time: 12:23 am. Mood: tired.

Feels like a century since I last posted a Blurt; 3 months according to my previous entry. Mostly, I can blame Plurk since it lets me 'quick-blurt'. But mostly it's 'cause there hasn't been much going on over at my side of the fence. Couple projects for SM, though. Mainly sub-coned as the lights and/or sound system for pyrotecnic shows by Platinum Fireworks. Basically we (read as mainly my dad) are showing SM what can be done with fireoworks beyond the ususal firing to music. We actually have one project that dares to really push the bar. Also finished a new project with Glenn. This time he needed a video for the new Multi-Purpose Attack Craft (MPAC) they just handed over to the Philippine Navy last Navy Day. It's the fastest sea vessel I've been on, and subsequently, needed to hold on to. Got to work with another video team for that project; mostly giving them the task of taking alternate shots - one of which, from a chase Helicopter supplied by the Navy. New tech this time around is a new PC; effectively an upgrade to my editing PC. This new CPU is a Dual-Core with Win XP Home and is ideally meant to run a more advanced video editing program... as soon as we aqcuire said software. It can't completely replace my current PC since the new PC doesn't have a confirmed capability to use one of the old PC's hardware-chips. And that about covers most of it.

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Subject: A Song I know all too well... Time: 12:43 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: Konna ni Chikaku de... - Crystal Kei.

A couple months back, the anime Nodame Cantabile started airing on Animax. The Marketing phrase was "Japan's' No.1 Romance Comedy" and it holds true so I started watching it. That's when I learned of the song konna ni chikaku de... which was used on the 1st ending credits. It's a phonetically pleasing and wonderful song to hear until you understand the lyrics. The first inkling of the song's content lay in the last line of the 1st chorus that says in English: "You don't understand. I'm so in love with you..." And true to both the chorus line and the Anime's plot, I found that the translation bore perhaps the one song I could relate to better than anything I had ever heard before: one-sided love. Here's the Video: Konna ni Chikaku de... Here's the translated Lyrics: ======= "Konna ni Chikaku de..." ("This Close") Love is so sad I realized it that night you were next to me Cause better than anybody else, I know you so well Even your casual kindness Makes my chest tighten This, this close I'm watching you Why, why are we only friends? No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are They don't reach you. You don't understand I'm so in love with you "You're not feeling too good?" you said, and in that moment I yawned to hide my tears "Lack of sleep, maybe?" was my excuse The lies to my most important person Keep piling up that's the current me Every day, every day, my heart is in pain Countless, Countless sleepless nights overcome That first, that first day we met It'd be so great if I could return to it I'm so in love with you If I confess that "I love you" I probably won't be able to smile again But to continue as friends, with fake smiles I can't take take it any more The truth is, the truth is I always loved you Always, always, I kept loving you To you, to you I want to send these feelings I whisper them to the blue sky I'm so in love with you This, this close I'm watching you Why, why are we only friends? No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are They don't reach you. You don't understand I'm so in love with you ======= It's a beautiful song. And one that can only be appreciated by someone in my position. The performing artist is Crystal Kay I'm currently trying to get my hands on a copy of her CD.

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Subject: The overdue blurt Time: 10:34 pm. Mood: chipper.

Months overdue mostly due to My Plurk.com Account. I found the ability to "blurt" ideas w/o having to type up a whole paragraph rather appealing. Anyhoo... the December that was: Work Got projects for Laguna. 1 for Enchanted Kingdom, the other for SM Sta. Rosa. -Enchanted Kingdom E.K.'s project was a Haunted House. Unlike the Star City version, this set-up comes with automation and not just dark rooms and people in costumes scaring you. No no, this set-up has motorized sets that move and 'react' to the wandering patrons. Our job in it? Programing the automation using a system that we currently own Local monopoly on(mainly because we're the only ones who've imported the tech). Aside from installing the lights and sound system, we also installed the controls that automated what E.K. originally wanted to do manually. Now the attraction only needs an observer/maintainer as opposed to their original plan of an operator for every section of the Haunted House. The attraction is called SRR:X and became open to the public last November 12. -SM Sta. Rosa Using the same tech we used for E.K.'s SRR:X, we automated a custom built Christmas Tree. It's program: to have all it's lights dance in sync with predetermined music. The add-on, limited Pryotechnic coordination. "Limited" since the original show, using our equipment before the new tech came in, was to completely automate the triggering of Firework cues. Since SM's schedule did not allow for the same set-up, we were only able to trigger a specific firework to give the Pyro Team a visual cue as to when to start igniting the whole cache. This project was held during the 1st 3 Saturdays and the last Sunday of December so we went back-and-forth from Manila to Laguna on a weekly basis. Friends Best Friend got married last December 19 and I was Best Man. I'd give more details, but there's really nothing more to say than simply that it was the best day of the Bride & Grooms' lives. Friends and Family all over the place, with me to bash on the helpless little worm who became the Husband. Hey... it was tradition. It's not my fault I was 'supposed' to embarrass him like that. And I wasn't the only one either. The original plan was to have 2 Best Men. But due to traditional conflict, I was chosen by default. But that didn't stop me and Pep from going all out. Ah... good times. Personal -Gaming I've been trying to Level-up my character on the MMORPG I play, RF Online. Sadly, the sheer number of IRL factors has delayed my plans to reach my goal before the New Year. Oh well... -Lazing I'm a perv, no doubt. How else would I be able to catch all the up-skirts and potential rack-slips on the Disney Channel? I tell you it's amazing how their choice of "hyper" acting makes for the perfect peeking opportunities. And it doesn't help that some of their wardrobe/costume choices fully highlights the curves on those girls. Oh, I am soooooo going to hell...

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Subject: Week in... week out. Time: 8:09 pm. Mood: chipper.

I'm currently waiting for the paint to dry and the fumes to go away on my current project so I decided to go web searching. Checking my e-mail, I got a bunch of spam, some forwarded emails; thankfully no chain-letters to piss me off. I did get a friend request from Jameelah though. I didn't expect that, but then again there was that little incident. See, a few days ago, I woke-up late to find a single text message. Turns out Jameelah found this blog, and there-by the previous entry about her. Given the context of said entry, one can pretty much imagine what it was like receiving such a message. I'll tell you, God Himself could not have made a cup of coffee strong enough to have woken me up as fast as that text did. Anyhoo... she said she found the entry about her and she gave it a good reading. Simplified, it made her smile. Given the last time this happened my state of sanity was put to question, I'll take being able to make someone smile as a good thing. So, one new friend who actually is a friend added. YAY! *does out-of-tune non-rhythmical dancing* The project I'm working on at the moment is for an event this October. Level-Up Games is holding their annual LU-LIVE! 2008 and our two Guilds have a booth each. As part of one booth, I'm making a stylized rendition of one of our Settlement Maps: Solus. It's essentially a Race Track custom-built and designed for the Takara Tomy Q-Steer to run around in. After I've completed the track, I'm gonna focus on the Booth designs and subsequent assembly. Oh, it will be hecktic >_< Anyhoo, while checking a friend's profile I ran into these... they seemed amusing =p This Page For Keywords ally, time, just Reward $397 Yes 64% No 24% And the ever popular Horoscopes... I do have my quips about Zodiacs. I mean, does the phrase "I'm a Cancer" sound like a nice ice-breaker to you? O__o

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Subject: A Heart, I still doth have... DANG O__o Time: 7:03 pm. Mood: bouncy.

Last August 22-24, my dad was hired to provide the Lights & Sound system for Mitsubishi Motor's exhibit at the World Trade Center as part of the 2nd Philippines International Motor Show. As part of it's Theme "Drive @ Earth" Mitsubishi Motors unveiled their electric car, the iEV. Also among the new releases were the 2009 Galant, the Lancer Evolution X, and the 2009 Montero Sport. Avid car enthusiasts would point out that the EVO-X and the Montero Sport were released earlier in other countries. During this job, my dad had me tag along to learn a couple new Lighting Consoles. I found one of the controllers a bit tricky since it wasn't as simple as the lighting controllers they let us use back in college. If you're only used to faders to do lighting, boy will you be intimidated by the Whole Hog III. I'm still not an expert at it, but I can pretty much work the basics enough to be an operator if my dad needs me as back-up. Anyhoo... the real highlight of the 3-day expo for me was getting acquainted with one of the models. I had been stealing shots of her when I could, and joined in on other photographers when they had her posing and smiling. So all in all, I got portraits, candids, and stolen shots of her for the duration of the 3 days. For all intents and purposes, I was crushing... bad. Around the 2nd day, I was tempted to ask the show Director or one of his crew if they knew who the girl I was gawking at was. Running on a combination of "I'm here on work", "My dad's around", and "They're gonna tease me if I ask" I went about just going vouyer-mode with my camera. Back in my own little world, I was imagining what her name would be. For some reason I decided on "Kathy". So for the rest of the day, and much of the next, I was thinking "Hi, Kathy!" when I took her pictures. Times like those, it really helps having a DSLR. Makes you look less of a stalker and more of a photographer. I for one can tell the difference of how people looked at me when I just carried around a digicam, and how those looks changed completely now that I carry around a camera that says NIKON on the strap. I think it's the size of the D70s that helps the most... I just wish I had money for a Flash head. So here comes the 3rd and last day, one more presentation and we could call it a night. To my complete surprise, "Kathy" comes up to me just as she's about to leave and says "Hi!" Next, she asks me for my cellphone number. At about this point, I'm mentally in OMG-WFT?!?!?! mode. Thankfully, years of experience with ladies has allowed me to surpass the non-responsive vegetable-state a boy falls into when a girl they like comes up to them. So with a quick exchange, I got "Kathy's" number. Only this time I actually got her name. And as Jameelah Bowden waved goodbye and made her way home, I found myself in a childish puddle of glee; the kind you get when the girl you ask to the prom says yes. Having too many people around, I refrained from exploding in joy and casually walked around like I owned the place; it was the only way I could keep people from noticing the grin-like smile on my face. Plus I had to walk-off the adrenaline rush. It's been a rather long while since I got that interested in someone. And most of the time, a lot of factors cause my interest to remain purely observational. So this little meeting was a very welcome surprise for someone like me. So I've finished uploading the decent pictures in my Dropshots account and I just texted Jameelah the link. I hope she likes them... and I hope she doesn't mind the candid shots I took.

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Subject: FACTORIZER! Time: 2:26 pm. Mood: amused.

http://www.factorizer.co.uk/index.php Facts refresh every minute. Ooooohhhh....

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Subject: Life Sign Check; small flashback too. Time: 11:23 pm. Mood: chipper.

Ok... so we've finally moved into our new office/warehouse. A friend of my dad had a space he rented to us for a better deal than our old office/warehouse. For one, no jack-asses parking in the driveway. See our old office was inside a sort of arrangement of other shops; one of which was a Car Customization Repair thinga-ma-jig. Now that's cool and all... except those bastards would park the cars in our driveway. If they had cars to fix and no room, they parked it in the driveway. Then there's the Party-Balloons shop. Of course, the customers would park in the driveway since they decided that the side of their shop was no place to park. Bloody brilliant. So now, our current office has no other businesses around it. YAY! But being newly transfered, we still have stuff to clean up. Ack. I'm also gonna try my hand at drawing again. It's been a long while since my last sketch and I needs a refresher. I mean, I can draw stages and schematics and stuff that use a ruler; what I'm trying to re-learn is how to draw cartoons and anime'. As a sort of safety-net, I'm gonna practice on my own creations first; namely my 4 daughters. Quick Trivia: The concept of creating my daughter characters started with Annie. Her general design was inspired by the one and only Relena Peacecraft. After seeing portions of Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz for the first time during my early high school years, I saw Relena and became obsessed with the need to design a character like her. It was also around that time I realized I loved the mix of Brown hair and Blue eyes. Trivia Ends So during the rest of High School (mostly on boring subjects and recess or lunch) I gradually modified Annie's original design. During college, I learned a few more tricks at drawing and evolved her design even further. At some point prior to graduation (about 2-3 years beforehand) I finalized Annie's look. A few months later, we had our Social Service Outreach. The one I signed-up for landed me teaching kids how to draw in Nueva Ecija The inspiration for Cherry was based off one of my students with the same name. Mid-way to designing Cherry, I decided to create a middle-sister to fill-in a gap between the letters A and C. Hence was the initial inspiration for Billie. Billie was supposed to be the more athletic of the three, but gosh darnit... life's just full of inspiration. Around the time I was designing Billie I was in a fit of consuming rage caused by the utter and complete disembowelment of my ego, care of Dorothy. Being a man with a short fuse, I knew I needed to channel that anger; so I made Billie the embodiment of all my hate. At the same time I had just finished making a wooden katana replica for thesis. With help from a couple friends, I channeled my anger into that sword too; giving it the name Ikari which is Japanese for Wrath. Couple years later, I got the inspiration to re-design a cartoon Robot named Jenny from the NickToon My Life As A Teenage Robot. I had actually tried it before during college, basing one off Azumanga Diaoh's Chiyo-chan and redesigning it later for the same thesis as Ikari. After a while, I gave it another redesign which landed on my version of Jenny which debuted on my DeviantArt account; code number XJ9-CD03. And there you have it, my 4 daughters. (well, technically there's 6 since I designed two other girls as random characters in two of my DeviantArt drawings) We have Annie who is my rendition of the perfect girl... There's Billie who is my anger, personified and controlled... There's Cherry who is basically the sweetest little girl in the whole-wide world... And there's Jenny who is artistic proof that I'm actually better at redesigning. Woof.

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Subject: Stupid Mosquitos Time: 11:50 pm. Mood: chipper.

Ok... for anyone who's actually been looking for me, I've been on Bed Rest for the last couple weeks. Turns out I picked up Dengue prior to heading off to Davao where the Viral Infection finally went all out. After 2 days of non-improvement, my dad took me to St. Luke's for a check-up where I was diagnosed with Dengue and immediately admitted. Boy, I'll tell you... having needles poked at you really ruins the nice Air-Conditioned room feel. Besides the regular Dextrose, they would take semi-regular blood samples off me to check the platelet count. The night I was admitted, it had dropped to 91,000 as compared to the safe margin of 150,000. As the Virus got around, my platelets eventually dropped down to 31,000; 11,000 shy of needing a blood-transfusion. But, wooopteedoo! Next time them nurses took my blood, the count started rising back until they reached 80,000+ to which the Doctor decided I was well enough to discharge. So during my 3-day stay at the Hospital, I had been visited by my Best Friends during the last 2 nights. Pep was actually amused at how casually I brought up my being in Hospital. I'm not exactly a Headlines kind of person; what happens happens. Basically I told Pep and Louie I had Dengue like I would tell them I just saw a Movie. No stress, no worries; all casual like. So anyhoo, I got out just a couple days before New Year's Eve. I spent that day out of Manila where my dad had a show over at Trace College Pampanga(?) It was a New Year Celebration for PAGCOR and my dad was hired for it; along with an invite to his family to join in on the celebration. So I spent New Year just watching fireworks and eating at a buffet. Not bad. Not bad at all. But I still want to kill every Mosquito I find. The Bastards.

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Subject: Davao can KISS MY ASS! Time: 10:45 pm. Mood: aggravated.

I go to Davao and what do I get? A F*CKING HEADACHE! First off, some dipshit security at Cebu Pacific denies access to one of my regular crew for the Coke Christmas Caravan project. Apparently this dolt doesn't get any from his wife, or doesn't know how to wack-off and release his 'trapped tension'. Ok, so the E-Ticket got 2-letters wrong on one of our guy's name. But when we went to Cebu with the same grammatical error our guy was let in to both the Cebu AND the Manila Return flights. I mean, seriously? Did this retard watch too many movies in his lonely life to think that someone, IN THE PHILIPPINES, has the ability to get to the Departure Terminal at exactly the right time as the Ticket requires? Without someone like me who actually understands what Punctual means? HELL NO! This country F*CKING starts 6:00pm meetings at 8! And even after a flight is delayed, you still hear some retards who have already acquired their Boarding Passes but still didn't make it to the Boarding time. In fact, the majority of people here are so incapable of determining Time I hear Christmas Fireworks popping at 10:30PM (HK Time). We're THAT goddamned STUPID Now, after we finally made it to Davao we catch some shut-eye since our flight was around 5am. When we finally get to the venue we expected everything to be pretty much "Plug-and-Play". SURPRISE! Filipino Incompetence Strikes Back! We end up needing to re-wire some circuits which we already finalized at Cebu. And to make things worse, it F*CKING showers! And not just any normal rain shower; no. This one was a gentle shower that lasted 4 God-Damned Hours! You know what I call that? Divine Interruption. Apparently the great One decided that us losing one guy wasn't bad enough. Oh no. He decided that He should let it shower for 4 hours straight while we fixed our cables. And here's the fun part: we had the stage covered for such B*LLSH*T. But, gosh-darnit gee-wiz, The Lord added wind to the Divine Insult. I myself like the occasional breeze, but not this CR*P. For the same 4 hours, the Heavenly winds tossed the rain RIGHT AT US; dousing up to Center stage from Stage Left. What makes this so obviously God's Hand is the blatant lack of respect for Physics. With a wind that strong and constant, the stupid rain clouds should have been pushed the f*ck out of our way. In the end, we got the wiring fixed. And I woke up the next day with a terrible fever. The fever stayed until after I got back to Manila. But not after I did My Job. I'm a CRUZ. You don't take Us down that easily. Makes me want to raise my finger to God when we hit Church tomorrow. Another reason Davao can KISS MY A$$ is they have weird people. First off, they have this rude habit: If you happen to face a Davaoeno and s/he looks back, they give you this Evil Stare like they're remembering your face so they can mug you later. It happened to every Davao-local I met faces with. And that was about 10 people. I don't care if people say I'm generalizing. For that to happen to the 10 people I 'saw', in four separate parts of that area of Davao, I call it a Local Phenomenon. I don't care what people say. I experienced it everyday I was there; before and during my fever. I could even tell the Davaoeno's heading to Manila. The gave me the same rude stare. Must be some form of arrogance. And speaking of Arrogance... WTF is with all the Bisaya starting-dialect? Don't these retards know about Toursits? I mean, for crying out loud! We walked out of an Inn. AN INN! The local pearl street-vendors were smart enough to come at us offering goods; not so smart to determine we didn't speak their native tongue. I mean, are such big a$$holes to think the whole world speaks Bisaya? I understand the Chinese, they out-populate any two large countries combined. And from what I've learned, they have the ability to take down a Super-Power if they wanted to. Then there's America. Right bunch of arrogant Jerks right there. Why they refuse to understand why they're being Terrorized is both beyond my ability to analyze, nor do I really give a Rat's A$$. What makes English the lesser evil(Thanks to the British, actually) is that most countries around the world actually use it when interacting with foreigners. So in closing: Davao can KISS MY A$$! Thanks for the income; hope I never have to go there ever again.

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Subject: ReynaNgDuga DIES Time: 5:23 pm. Mood: aggravated.

It is unfortunate that my newest Blurt has to be of a dismally violent nature. However, I am not a man of patience nor am I one who forgives offenses towards me. I've been playing RF Online for about a year's duration and as per my Blurty account, my IGN is also [b]HariNgDuga[/b] In my tenure as a Bellato Ranger, I have made it a point to be the best of my class whenever possible and without the use of over-upgraded equipment. Within in the RF Boards, I give my aid to whoever asks of it and I do my best to empower the Ranger Class to the best of my ability. Safe to say, although hidden, my IGN has a reputation. Enter ReynaNgDuga. Although I haven't seen the character myself, I was informed of it's existance in another Server. Fortunately I had made it a point to own my IGN on all servers, with only the RP-Server deviating from my choice of Race. I don't expect anyone to fully understand why I find it such an insult that someone would use ReynaNgDuga as an IGN. Copy-cats happen all the time, and to be honest I actually expected it. But this particular IGN hits a nerve. And when something hits one of MY nerves, it tends to Go Away... and not in a nice, friendly, happy sort of way. Because I don't do NICE. ReynaNgDuga is, first and foremost, a deviation of HariNgDuga. It is a title I would like to bestow upon my future wife, and or the fiancee' who would eventually be the former. As such, someone using this Title is an outright insult to my being. Game-wise As far as I know, this person could be no more than another wannabe trying to leech off whatever fame I've gained. Nothing pisses me off more than a person pretending to be me, or related to me when they clearly are not. If terms of franchising this person could be, for all I know, the equivalent of a factory defect that could sully my name. For that purpose, I despise anyone who pretends to be me, my friends, or members of my "Inner-Circle." Real Life The title ReynaNgDuga implies a relationship to HariNgDuga. Whether it be intentional, or Role-Play is none of my concern. The fact that it insults my status as a single male is what really pisses me off the most. For whatever reasons they may have had, the women I've 'gone after' have always had them; "Reasons". Because of these 'excuses' I fell into slumps of depression where I tore myself limb from limb trying to figure out what it is I suck at. Enter my dad. He told me that although I had my flaws, I was still me. His Son. As such, whatever flaws I had, I easily made-up for thanks to my heritage. And at the end of the day, they were just women who didn't even try to give me a chance. From this logic branched my 'screw this! let THEM come after me' theology. At least in that sense, women won't have 'excuses' to run off. What really boils my blood about ReynaNgDuga is that this character blatantly mocks my love-life. There is no "ReynaNgDuga" in my life and although I pretend it's fine to be single, IT PISSES ME OFF every time someone brings it up. 'Why are you single?' 'Why don't you go out?' 'Why don't you try dating?' Because I sadly can't! I'm busy with work, and the only interactions I have with members of the opposite sex are ladies who are either spoken for, are outside my age-range, or the ones I've already met and have actually clarified in respectably honest terms that I'm not their type. Simply put, I don't get a lot of chances to go out and meet someone new. Not unless I get a client who's single and looking. So to have some nobody mock me, either directly or indirectly, like this is Unforgivable. I just want to clarify one thing: I am NOT NICE. I am NOT KIND. I am NOT TOLERANT. I [i]WILL[/i] make something go away when it pisses me off and this definitely gets a spot in my Hit-List. And just for 'fun', I'll be taking added steps to make this hurt mentally, physically, and financially.

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Subject: And He said 'Let There Be Light'... and I said 'I'M STILL SLEEPING DAMMET! Time: 1:53 pm. Mood: tired.

So the last few months have been a trifle much. Mostly work, partly gaming, the remainder of it getting some rest... I guess a full tally of every little thing I've done would take too long. With a Guild EB, My Grand-dad's 80th B-day, and a tun of clean up to go through, it's been hecktic at best. Guild EB As the new member of E.C.O.UNIT's High Council, and the right hand-man of my best friend's guild, it is my Duty as Guild Archon to uphold and protect the rules, regulations, and beliefs for which our RF-Online Guild stand for. Just a couple weeks back, we organized a Grand Eye Ball with the majority of our Members in the Manila Area. With a quick Guild-Discussion over at Starbucks, Eastwood, we transfered to Dampa sa Libis for the pig-out of a life time. With fresh materials to work with, we had the heartiest meal we've had in months since the last EB with our Ally Guild, AESIR. Sharing funds with Ryu and Thy left me with a drained budget. But that was only because one of L'OREAL's Paychecks got delayed. I've fixed that problem since then. Grand Dad's 80th Eat that you government scum! My Grand-dad worked for you in his younger years and did it all without being a crook. And he's out-living the lot of you greedy punks! YEAH! I was asked to make 2 video presentations for the party, and I'm currently finishing the DVD of the video we took for that day. Trust me when I say it wasn't a pleasant experience. Nothing annoys and irritates me more than someone who has way to many ideas and no solid storyboard when I edit. It REALLY PISSES ME OFF when someone takes up my time and they don't even know what they're doing. What makes it worse is it's Family. At least in work if they don't have an idea they have a Deadline. That usually forces a final decision or project termination. But when its Family... SHHHHHEEEEEESHHH. There's no end to it. Clean-Up With the reformat of my Editing PC complete, I decided to clean up it's spot at our house. Right now it's running great, and has 2 WinXP OS' installed into two separate Boot Drives which I can choose to boot from during the Start-Up. Basically the Primary Drive is for Editing. Although I've installed and updated an anti-virus scanner into it, the premise of the Drive is simply for editing and should never need to be connected to the internet. The Secondary Drive is essentially an Archive Drive. It has access to all necessary files in the Main Drive so I can burn Videos and Data. Besides having an active Internet connection, the Secondary Drive lacks the Video Editing Program, and access to the Windows folder of the Main Drive. It also has the anti-virus program and I've strictly limited the websites I access using that PC. But in the unlikely event it does receive a virus I can reformat it without cutting of my ability to Edit. Moving on to non-desktop... I opened up the old VAIO to test a theory. I was right. Upon opening the keyboard and front panel, I carefully removed the heat-sink connected to the Processor and the Cooling Fan. As I expected, the the Heat-Sink's exhaust was clogged in a moderately large amount of accumulated dust. This was preventing the Cooling fan from effectively helping the Heat-Sink expedite the heat from the Processor. At the peak of over-heat, the VAIO would shut itself down to prevent further damage. Most of the time, I had to point a fan at the side of the VAIO to help it cool. After cleaning out the Heat-Sink and Cooling Fans, the VAIO's back to it's vibrant self. I was able to run RF-Online for about 10 Hours straight which allowed me to do some in-game Mining. I'm guessing the next time I clean it will be around Christmas time... or when it starts shutting down on it's own again. Poor baby...

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Subject: Enter: The HN-D70s Time: 7:12 pm. Mood: accomplished. Music: FF7 End Battle Theme + Gained Item chime.

OW YEAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After a couple years since it's initial release, the Nikon D70s is finally in my possession! Joining my team of gadgets and electronics, I granted it the moniker Hari Ng D70s (HN-D70s) because it is. How so? Two things: 1st, it's MINE! OH YEAH!!! It's ALL MINE! With a large amount of my savings spent on it, there's no way on Heaven or Hell (even f*ing Space or alternate dimensions) that this D70s belongs to anyone else on this plane of reality except me: Dave Cruz - Hari Ng Duga! The receipt's in my name and the internal folder's customized to me as well. 2nd, no one really wants it much any more. Having it's premiere release two years past, the D70s has been out-classed by it's predecessor, the D80 and the little tikee, the D's 50 and 40. Also in your repertory of options for better performance are the D200 and D2x. Almost every one who got a D70s has traded it (or wants to sell it to upgrade to) one of the newer models. Everyone's after the new thing... so the D70s' demand has since dropped... WHICH IS A DAMN GOOD THING FOR ME! 'cause as any Economics Student will remind you, Price is tantamount to the Supply and Demand Chart. During it's hype, the D70s' demand was relatively high with low supply for the D-SLR. Two years later, the photo shops that stacked up on D70s' realized a surplus in their stock, with less demand in the market. Simply put: Less Demand + Lots of Supply = Cheaper Prices. YES! This sick b*stard got his hands on a D70s Kit for the price of a D70 Kit at its mid-peak price 1.5 years ago. The only things that brought the price up to 'almost' regular price was that I needed to buy a UV Filter, an Extra battery, and a 1GB CF card. In the city, that would've cost ALOT... but I got my baby in Quiapo. Practically Dealer-Prices there if you know where to shop. So... I've been spending the better part of 2 days playing around with it. Even found a nasty dust speck inside the sensor, but I cleaned that bugger out fine. Now it's just a matter of explaining to the Cybershot why it has to share the bag with a larger digital camera. I'm sure it'll understand. XD

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