| .a.pathetic.little.heart | ||||
| 02:23am 15/11/2004 | ||||
How love sick can one person be? I mean honestly... Ugh what the FUCK was i thinking... seriously... Updates : Jp, still sucks, mark is still cutting himself uh..... and the other boys are dumb.... who needs em.. Latest heartbreak : John - 2 years down the drain you guys he says im destructive... maybe i am... im an artist... im supposed to be.... duh... I told all my friends to fuck off today.... it felt good... i love cowardess e-mails... haha .. but i did tell one of them that he was a small dicked pecker wood fag .... no offense to you gay or homosexuals.. i heart you all xoxo I got new paint for my room motha fuckas !!! its gonna rock your socks boooooyeah.... this nicca is off da hook... *throws up signs* damn that last journal was really dumb.. i apologize to you all for subjecting you guys to it... ugh.... *smacks forehead* Yeah, aim sucks now... and yahoo is my latest thing... the people are way nice and 99% of them have been beautiful.... lord.... shes back in the game...weeee hopefully this girls game will be back in action... Im broken hearted at the moment... i dont give a fuck about peoples feelings right now... you all suck ... " Suck me beautiful !! " |
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embarrassed| .Red.Hair.Bright.Eyes. | ||||
| 07:56pm 03/11/2004 | ||||
I've been talking to this new guy, Hes rad. In many ways.... But.... I know this other boy.... my god hes so beautiful and such a sweet soul... Why must love mock me by making the one boy id die for, across the US I want to fly him out here so i can love him ... Hes a cutter too.... I want to see his blood smeared on mine.... such animosity in the world today... I had fear of loosing my friend to a guy, and i lost her to a girl instead... I fucking hate friends... They all need to leave me alone... Id rather lay in the dark and cry... Still havent heard from brian... its been about a week and a half... I miss him so much... we had so much fun... and hes just up and left.. Wondering if hes missing me is torture... We we're just starting to click.. and now hes gone... Everyones gone now.... and i cant help but wish that i wouldnt wake up one morning... and just leave my life... I would miss this place... waking up warm on cold mornings... Please someone just fill my void so i can attempt a life... "Ive always loved you... " "ditto" "Its amazing, the love inside, you take it with you... it never stops.. " - this movie makes me cry like a little bitch *sniffles* Im scared mark will go too far and hurt himself.... I dont know what id do if i lost him.... such a remarkable person... his passion is so deep I cant help but cry because i know how it feels to feel so passionate about love and loss... He says he loves me... Hes so beautiful... red hair...brown eyes that light up my heart... ....god why cant i have him ... |
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depressed| .subject.to.fail. | ||||
| 10:45pm 27/10/2004 | ||||
 You are "Waste of Paint". You can be a very over analyzing person and you are sort of lost. You aren't really sure where you're going with your life but for now you hold some hope that you will indeed get to where you are going. Oh yeah, and that thing called "love", you feel it's just a game of chance. A game you are not good at. Which BRIGHT EYES song are you? brought to you by Quizilla now thats fucking beautiful... |
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annoyed| .a.second.coming. | ||||
| 12:38pm 20/10/2004 | ||||
 you are an "emo kid". you're fresh or light in the scene and enjoy your somewhat nicer and lighter emo bands. don't let the indie kids and punk rockers put you down for liking dashboard confessional or hot water music, stick up for your emo rights! keep smiling! *how emo are you?* brought to you by Quizilla I got new shit for my new room. Which means get rid of the old shit... These walls ive grown accustomed to will be mine no longer... -- my friend B got a boyfriend... now she never calls to hang out -- We used to hang out almost everyother weekend now its like im nothing A stone in her shoe... ive never felt so small... -- Now my other friend is always talking to this guy, im glad shes happy ... im just afraid... that the same shits gonna happen and this girl is far too amazing to loose as a friend... fuck.... i hate being attached to people... why cant i care about myself as i do you? im no longer a jaded bitch, but a very sad woman... Ive lost so many people on my way to becoming my own person... maybe ive overlooked some like they are doing to me now... I feel awful inside.. why cant i just turn my feelings off. Like a giant lightswitch but instead of ON and OFF - it says Sorrow and Faith.... two things i have far too much of... Why cant he just love me all the time and not when he has a few spare minutes... Im dying inside and no one seems to notice... - just let me rip out the thread that has my mouth sewn into a smile - |
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| .im.loosing.you.all.over.again. | ||||
| 12:29pm 20/10/2004 | ||||
 What Thursday Song Are You? brought to you by Quizilla He makes me feel broken Like a throat without a voice Bleeding through my skin in shades of yellow Bitterness was never a liquid like this Why cant he just understand that he hurts Torn love letters left in the wind They have lost their meaning Im sorry was the thing I hoped for Once was what so childish Seems so trivial now that im older Heartbreak is something im too familiar with Your strings are tearing me apart My soul from my tourmented heart Im running after you but your miles ahead.. Please wait for me... i cant catch up If I fall ill never make it to where your waiting... Thats if your waiting for me at all. |
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scared| .i.just.miss.you. | ||||
| 12:04pm 13/04/2004 | ||||
i had to open the store today --- DAMN THE MAN! Save the Empire -- + had to wake up at 6:30 with two hours of sleep.... im half dead.... cramps make me feel like i masterbate with a razor blade.... ------- check minus -------- Ugh no more broken hearts please..... - speaking of babies... we're gonna have a new one in my family... Fall Is Here..... Nothing is better than the cold embrace of wind. like a kiss upon an unloved childs cheek Fall always makes me long for love....but i dont have it.... fuck you guys and your sorted thing called love.... " I just want you to punch me in the face and tell me youll be there for me " - Brian Thats my buddy... hes so violent and shit that i love it.... he went out tonight... fucker... gettin drunk without me....wtf... Jean-Paul says he loves me..... whats a girl to say... Xx |
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| .just.some.unseen.misery. | ||||
| 07:38pm 10/04/2004 | ||||
... i tried a little scheme my sister once told me about... of course i went ridiculously overboard with it... you go to thrift stores, buy clothes - name brands, and sell them at stores... yeah.. well dumbass spent $60 on a bunch of crap... and ive only sold $30 worth so far! ! I will get my money back... oh yes... ill get it back.... d'oh...if i dont im gonna be stuck with a bunch of tacky shit that girls 1/2 my size wear..... bish is fat.... ....my friend is muy upset that guys are such jerks.... why are they jerks!? i dont get it... maybe one of you can explain it to me because i dont get it....Shes so wonderful and cute and yet guys are such anal lickers to her... bah! im gonna cut off their nuts and squeeze out the sperm.... ...maybe i should be a mime... my words have no meanings that you guys will get.... |
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| x im just so frustrated x | ||||
| 01:00am 10/04/2004 | ||||
 You are cutting What Self-Mutilation Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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cynical| Fold ___ __ : you're just a mean little jaded bitch | ||||
| 12:41am 10/04/2004 | ||||
Fold ___ : <3 Fold ___ : lmfao earlier in the room that click guy said you and i were being mean last night Fold ___: and i was like.. and? Fold ___ : and lance was all yea renee is mean Stab My Heart x: fo sho Fold ___ : i was all bitch thats why i love her. Stab My Heart x: click asked me if i was bipolar Stab My Heart x: - weak Fold ___ : hiss kitty hiss Fold ___: hisssssssssss Fold ___ : meow Fold ___ : *cocks head to side* Fold ___ : *sticks butt in air* Fold ___ : *shakes tail* Stab My Heart x: *sticks her finger in her butt* Fold ___ : MEOOWW Stab My Heart x: *slyly sniffs it* Just another conversation between two severely jaded people..... if i shit on your floor, would you stick your finger in it and smell it, or would you break my heart and clean it up. I dont feel like being emo or hxc tonight.... i just want to be happy goddammit and drama free.... but alas.... im a " fat manstealing theif who lies about what people say cuz im mean " ......... ..... what a mouth full..... ...hm... |
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amused|
hardlucklipstic |
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