E-fedding Icon Hardcore Legend K Dogg's Journal

Monday, May 5, 2003

5:06PM - A day like many others...

As I woke up this morning... I had a splitting headache. I knew from there on, my day wasn't gonna be the greatest... I checked my e-mail this morning and there was only one e-mail worth reading... It was from this woman... This woman that truly touched my heart. Last week we had spent the day out by Utah Lake. It was a day to remember.. I fell in love with her that day... We didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning... She even said that she wishes that the day would have never ended... And to quote from one or two of her e-mails to me "I just wish I could've stayed like that forver... I Really didn't want to leave!!!" " It REALLY made my day to have heard back from you today... ohh today has really sucked.. i wish that you were here with me right now... I really need someone to just hold me, and tell me that things will be alright...." "I really feel loved now.. :))" "newayz, for now, i'm out... Peace!!! and I love ya!!!" With those kind of words.. wow.. any guy would like to hear those from a girl... I was truly happy. Then today, I just happened to go read her LJ, and it about broke my heart. All this time she said that she loved me... but not once was I mentioned in any of her new logs in her LJ. All she talked about was this other guy that she is in love with... She HAD said that she spent the day out by the lake a few days earlier.... but she said she was by herself.. which really hurt me... and she even says that she is sooo in love with him... I've been hurt too many times.. I don't know if I can take this any more.....

Nobody Knows by The Tony Rich Project

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls close in more every day
and I'm dying inside
and nobody knows it but me
Like a clown, I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
and I'm crying inside
and nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
the things I needed to say?
How could I let my angel get away?
Now my world is just a tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
but you're no where around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinking about the love that we had
and I'm missing you
and nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
and I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling inside
and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, it's a quarter past three
I'm screaming at night as if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is calling you
and nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get?
You can ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words wouldn't say
just how I feel
A million years from now, I know
I'll be loving you still
Repeat (Chorus)
Tomorrow morning, I'm hittin' the dusty road
gonna find you whereever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
...said when the nights are lonely....
Repeat (Chorus)

Current mood: confused
Current music: The Tony Rich Project- "Nobody Knows"
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4:47PM - A day like many others...

As I got up this morning.. I had a splitting headache... I knew from there, that the day wasn't going to be that good... I checked my e-mail and I heard back from the one girl that's actually given me a chance in the last forever... I wrote her back.. then a little bit ago, I went and read her LJ, and it comes to find out that she's in love with this guy named James. Me and her spent one of them most enjoyable days in recent memory out by the lake last week. But she has never even mentioned me at all. ANd she says she loves me... but I don't know anymore.. I'm confused. Everything seems to be crashing down around me... She did mention though that she spent the day out by the lake... by herself... Odd... she told me that she wishes that that day would have never ended... but then she doesn't even say anything about me? doesn't even mention the fact that she met me... I don't know what to think anymore...

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