Toshiya's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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[17 Sep 2003|05:23pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Malice Mizer - Brise ]

Kenshin's growing soooo fast! he almost reaches my shoulder now! *huggles him*

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[19 Jun 2003|12:59pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Yesterday was Kenshin's first day of school ^.^
Somehow it turns out that Yu~ki's the school's principal oO and he gave us chocolates :D

So, finally Shinya and I had some free time, alone :3

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[26 May 2003|02:57pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Miyu had 6 puppies!! :D

Shinya and I adopted a kid, his name's Kenshin n_n

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[18 May 2003|12:57pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Shinya's sick, I'm taking care of him ^^
Seems that it's a very bad cold.

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[14 May 2003|08:25pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Dir en grey - Ain't afraid to die ]

I'm gonna visit Shinya tomorrow.

I miss him so much..

Seems that the puppies will be born soon :D

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[03 May 2003|01:02pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | Dir en grey - Ugly ]

Everything was so perfect!
But some people just can't stand seeing that you're happy and they just have to come and ruin it.

Shinya and I were taking a walk on the park, kissing and hugging, when suddenly this girl came out of nowhere and started saying that she knew that we were together and stuff and she had a gun, she made Shinya stay away and got me into a car...
Somehow Shinya found another car and chased her for a while but she lost him and took me to a warehouse were she tied me to a bed and blindfolded me...and she started asking..."Why does he love you? Is it because you are so pretty? so perfect?"...I didn't have an answer to that question...I had never really tought about it..
She got a surgical knife and cut my chest..not deeply but there was a lot of blood...
Then I heard Shinya's voice calling me but I couldn't see a thing, the next thing I knew was that she had shot her gun and I was worried that she could've hit Shinya, she didn't.
I think they fighted for a while until Shinya tied her up and came to free me...I just remember seeing him and then I probably fainted or something..

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[02 May 2003|06:39pm]
[ mood | silly ]

you're pretty kung-fu totchi! don't fall over...
haha, you're totchi in a kung-fu mood!

what odd j-rock fashion statement are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


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[02 May 2003|04:12pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Dir en grey - Myaku ]

Found a cute puppy lonely on the street ;-; took him home to keep Miyu companny ^^ and they really liked each other! :D

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[28 Apr 2003|04:31pm]
[ mood | sore ]

...headache...*holds his head*

There was some party that I don't even remember what it was for the other night here at my place...
Shinya got drunk o_o;;

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[14 Apr 2003|12:41am]
[ mood | awake ]

Memories keep waking me up at nights unless Shinya sleeps with me..
He makes me feel safe..

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Back.. [10 Apr 2003|04:15pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | X Japan - Moonlight Sonata ]

I miss Shinya so much!

Two day ago I got a call from my father saying that mom was very sick and that I should visit them, so I went, seeing it as a miracle that my father actually wanted my visit, well, maybe mom asked him to call, I was really happy. Took the first flight I could back to Nagano. When I arrived, there was no one waiting for me there, but I didnt really care, so I took a cab and went home. Once there I could obviously see that the whole family was gathered inside, cousins, aunts and uncles, everyone. I hadnt seen them in a while. I never expected what happened next when I knocked on the door, some unknown little cousin opend and that was alright, but then I had everyone staring at me, like if I was some kind of monster, their horrified look made me wonder what was wrong. My father came rushing towards me and pulled me outside with him, closing the door behind us. He just stared at me, like everyone else had done, and after a moment, started yelling about how I was such a disgrace for him and the whole family for looking like a girl and wearing makeup and being gay...I just looked at him and said "Is this what you wanted me to come for? Just so that you could take your anger out at me just like you used to do when I was little!?" I almost fainted there, memories flashed before my eyes and he just stood there, his mouth half open... I couldnt take it...I just ran with no direction but it felt like I knew where I was going..yes, I was the place that I used to go when hiding from him, just like now..sometimes even staying for days until the feeling of safety came back to me..
Somehow I gatherd whatever courage I had left and went to see my mother, I didnt care anymore if they were going to look at me as a freak, or what they would think. I came all the way back facing my past just to see the only person that really loved me and ecouraged me to go on during those hard times. So I went in without knocking, my eyes fixated on that door that I knew would lead me to her, man tried to stop me but no one is stronger than the love I feel for her, my creator, my teacher, always there for me when I needed her the most, listening, advicing, she never cared how sttuborn I was at times, all she wanted was to make me as happy as she could. As I opened the door quickly turning to lock it, a chill ran on my spine, her familiar scent filled my nostrils, a tears rolled down my cheek when I heard her weak voice calling out for me "Toshimasa.." she said, that beautiful sound that seemed like delicate glass, so perfect. Finally, I turned around, I wasnt ready for what my eyes would meet, never had I seen her so frail and pale, what disease was doing this?, I had no idea. Kneeling by her she took my hand with hers, so small and cold now, I held it as gently as I could, afraid of breaking it like a porcelain doll. But her eyes were still vivid, not yet opaqued by death, that brought hope back to me that she would recover. Those dark pools with amazing bright, always reminding me of the clear nights when the start shine with all their strength. We talked a lot, about details and how life had been without each other, her problems here with dad and my adventures with the band, even though some of the things I said did hurt her, probably even more than they had hurt me, she always smiled, that smile of comfort that kept me going for so long.
Silence had taken over the crowd outside, the only sound I could hear was her breathing. After a time that seemed like seconds to me she said that I should leave, go back to my life and forget about my past, that I had carried it with me for far too long now. She was right, but I didnt want to leave her alone, back to her silent suffering, into that loneliness. She insisted, and so I left, no one said a thing.

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[05 Apr 2003|01:21am]
[ mood | exhausted but happy ]

Well, it was one active night.
We both fell asleep on each other arms.

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[02 Apr 2003|01:30pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Yesterday I went shopping with Shinya and Kami, we found Kaoru there and he joined us. We were having so much fun with Kami trying to get revenge from the time Kaoru crushed his crotch at the bar and racing to the stores when Shinya noticed something at a of us from the time we went to the movies! why cant we have some privacy! *growls*

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Photos! [01 Apr 2003|04:22pm]
I was so tired that I fell asleep at practice!! Of course, someone HAD to take a picture!
Its not the first time I do that! *flips trough the pages of a photo album* see?.
OMG! whats this one doing here! they all made so many jokes that time x_x
Aw *blush* I just had to keep a copy ofthis one!.
Um, yeah, I cant remember this one, or this one o_O; not on my five senses I guess..
LOL! its fun to fool around with Die, and trying to keep him from falling down withthose heels!.
Am I good at promoting the band?
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:D [01 Apr 2003|09:19am]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | X Japan - Made in Heaven ]

It really was the best b-day ever!
Now, lets see what presents I got:
-I.O.U. a b-day present from Kyo -.-;
-pretty blue shirt from Die
-*cough* Im not saying what Kaoru gave me, its embarrasing!!
-personalized bass pick that says "Toshiya" with a little pink heart around it from Shinya!!

Im still waiting for my presents you mean people that didnt give me anything *cough*kami!*cough*yoshiki!*cough* ^^; yeah.
Spent most the day with Shin-chan, we went to the movies, though, I dont remember what the movie was about *sweatdrop* Im not saying what happened! :P

Anyway, we wanted some coffee but it was already 12 am so we headed for my house, drank some coffee, talked until the effects of caffeine dissapeared and we fell asleep on the couch, no, nothing else happened your pervs!

I cant wait to see him today!

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Waiiiii!! [31 Mar 2003|02:58pm]
[ mood | dreamy ]
[ music | X Japan - Forever Love ]

Today is my b-day!! and I had the best b-day present ever yesterday!
This is what happened at the park.

Read more... )

*dances around*

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[30 Mar 2003|03:06pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

O_O tomorrows my birthdate!!

I wonder if they will remember..

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HappyHappyJoyJoy [30 Mar 2003|03:02pm]
[ mood | extremely cheerful ]
[ music | X Japan - Made in Heaven ]

WAIII!! last night we all went to a bar, Kaoru, Kami, Yoshiki, and of course, Shinya.
Kaoru started to tease Shi-chan and he left, I followed, and we ended up in the bench outside and he...and he....used me as a pillow!! :D
It was so nice!
Today we are going to another park, yup.

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[29 Mar 2003|10:27pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I had such a wonderful time with Shinya yesterday! and with his dog o_o; After the restaurant we went for a walk on the park and played tag, his laugh is so angelical.
I had never heard him talk so much! it was amazing!

Anyway, hes coming now, hopefully without the dog. I dont know what we are gonna do yet, he said he had a plan...

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Woof [28 Mar 2003|09:03pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Malice Mizer - Gardenia ]

Im taking Shinya and his dog to a new restaurant, pets can go in so It will be quite a mess.
I think Shinya is kinda being more friendly with me, at least thats how I see it, maybe hes just feeling like he should be nice to me after I spend so much time keeping Die and Kaoru away..
Im calling this Project Chihuahua! o_O nah, I need a better name..

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