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bella mella's Journal
I feel very sad today. I just found out my very best friend has cancer. She is so young only 18. She wasn`t feeling well for a while and finally her mom talked her into going to the doctor. Well after many tests later they find out she has leukemia and it is quite advance and incurable. I don`t know what to say to her. I feel torn up inside. Why does God do this. She has so much to live for. She was just accepted into University and was going to get her degree in music. Why Why Why.
Damn it. Really makes you stop and take a long hard look at life. Damn
That is all for today. I just can`t think, I feel sick to my stomach, Why oh Why.
So it is Monday. Another weekend over and new week beginning. Weekend was okay. Worked, slept, did some cleaning up with my Mom (spring cleaning ya know) My boyfriend took me out for dinner to a nice little Italian restaurant that had one of those guys walking around playing the violin. It was very romantic I must say. Afterwards we were going to go see a movie but we both couldn`t decide what we wanted so we went for a nice walk along the park down by the river. Part of the walk way was flooded but that was okay. Afterwards he drove me home and we sat in the car for almost an hour just talking, it was really nice. I feel like I can talk to him about anything and he will never judge me We talked somemore about us moving in and I still am undecided. He understands. He is thinking of looking around and seeing if he can find a place himself. His parents have told him he can have the basement furniture and of course his bedroom set so he will pretty well be equiped.
This week at work I have to train a new cashier. Should be fun.
not much else to say. by for now.
okay so here i said i would write in here everyday ... goofed that up already... been a couple of days. How do people find time to write....Not much been happening in my life. My boyfriend wants to move in together. He is working right now at a help centre for juveniles. Money is okay but I am just not sure. I mean, living at home is okay although my brother gets on my nerve once in a while and he is always hiding in my bedroom and scaring me. I think what I am afraid is the commitment. Like we have sex and everything so it isn't that. Its just that I feel once we move in together will the romance and the sparks die. Can I do it. I have so many goals I want to reach.. would I be able to do it if I moved in. Why is life so hard. Another thing is I know my Mom would have a friggin fit if I told her that I was moving in with Chris, she likes him and everything but living together. I think she would look at me different. I just don't know. I feel that if I have so many questions, maybe I am not ready to make that kind of commitment. Chris said whatever my decision is he will understands. We have been together for soooooo long, he knows every part of me and me him. Strange
Spring is getting better. Glad the rain stopped although there was alot of flooding around certain areas. Poor people, but serves them right. I mean if you are going to live near the river, you live with the floods.
hmmm what else. Maybe this journal thing isn't so bad afterall. I want to repaint my bedroom and my Dad told me I could. My first time painting. I hope I do okay. Am going to paint the walls Aqua Blue and do silver pinstripes. I saw it done on Trading Spaces and it looked really kewl. Am going to try it. I love those shows. Maybe I should be a interior decorater. hahahahaha, don';t you have to be gay to be a designer ... no offence tgo all you designers on Trading Spaces, but you have to admit, some of them look a little suspicious.
Okay, enough already. Gotta run. Hot date tonight with my special guy. He is taking me out for supper and then a movie or maybe if weather permitting, a stroll in the park. Hope the moon is out.
Ta Ta For Now
Howdy everyone
am new to this journal thingy. A friend of a friend told me about it - kinda kewl. What do you normally say in this . lets see - I am 17, go to school, work part time at a local grocery store - (cashier - sucks but making money) I hate broccoli, love moonlight strolls by the lake. Lost my virginity at 15 to my boyfriend. Am very romantic, cry at love stories and very determined to make something of myself in life. I plan to go to University to become a vet. Have two more years of high school which I hate but have to do it. My boyfriend wants to become a cop. We have known each other since we were 5 years old. Maybe one day will write a book. We used to show each other our private parts behind the shed when we were 10 - who would have figured we would see them now at 17 hahahaha ooops to much info. Well must run. Will try and make a point to write in here every day. Great way to vent I see from reading some of the other journals .. makes me feel like I am invading peoples privacy - but they are online journals.
Ta Ta for now