The Rad Radness of the Word Rad! Super-RAD!   
10:45pm 20/11/2003
mood: worried
music: Placebo - 36 Degrees
AAAAAAHHHHHH Hell. well it all busted loose. i feel so bad. but it was necessary. and we all know it. further complications arise, but are easily taken care of. *sigh*

plans for the camping trip are underway!!!! it'll be so fun! everyone is excited. kari is even going. we are planning to go in March. this is gonna be so rad. ( i am gonna try and bring that word back - rad) .

not much else to report. i am tired. *yawn*

You are Mary Bell.
You are Mary Bell. At the ripe old age of 10 you
strangled a neighbor boy, afterwhich you carved
your initals into his skin. At his funreal you
laughed. Your next victim was a 3 year old. You
pushed him off the roof, resulting in a broken
skull. After he was found you went to his
mothers house and asked to see him, she replied
tha t he was dead. You smiled brightly and said
'Oh, I know he's dead. I wanted to see him in
his coffin."
You horrid little girl you.
-smacks your hand-

Which Imfamous criminal are you?
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The Yummiest Kind of Charred Flesh (Other Than That of A Virgin)   
10:51pm 19/11/2003
mood: cynical
music: Incubus - SCIENCE
SARAH and i ended up going to the store at like 5pm. HAHA. i made too big of a deal out of that. well driving in the rain wasnt too fun but it was worth it. i bought mere the breakfast club. sarah and i had good times. we are gonna try and get our group together on a camping trip. i dont know how we got on the subject, but i mentioned that steve wanted to get one together over the summer. and then it just kinda snowballed from there. we wanna get everyone to go. it would be so fun. rustic and just good ol' fashioned fun! and FIRE!!!!!!!! i really hope this will work.

THE OES thing tonight was ok. we kinda winged it. it went well though. they really enjoyed it. i actually ate a boiled hot dog. i have had two hot dogs in the past year or two. and they have been in the last month!!! weird. i stopped liking them. maybe i do again. hmmmmm. i like the cheap ones. with ketchup. tonight i had mustard cos that's all they had, and i actually liked it. i LOVE mustard but not usually on hot dogs. WOW! but they are still best grilled. mmmmmmmm. black and crusty. but juicy in the middle. oooo yeah. hmm i hope this doesnt start some new hot dog fetish for me..... eh wouldnt be that tragic.
Curses! Foiled Again!   
04:19pm 19/11/2003
mood: pissed off
music: Incubus - Make Yourself
well sarah and i cant go to get mere a birthday present. my dad said that it is raining too hard and that there is too much water. fuckin hell. now wtf am i supposed to do. he said to wait a few hours. i have to be at Riverside at 8:20! so that pretty much means i wont be able to get to the store. her party is at 4pm tomorrow and i cant make it between now and then. shit fuck damn. well there goes that. my dad said i should have gotten something the other night when kari, steve and i went out. we had to go home at 7:30. we didnt have time to go to best buy and none of the other stores had the movie i wanted to get her. .... i feel the need to break something.... argh.
The Ever All Amazing Awe Inspiring Ambivalence   
04:05pm 19/11/2003
mood: accomplished
music: Incubus - Make Yourself
i great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. i can breathe easier now. i am less angry but more worried. sooooooooo........ i am relieved that the tension has been broken. there may be all out cold war but at least we all know what the deal is. i feel really good and really bad about it all, all at the same time. oooooooooooooo now.

Tonight Sarah and i are going out to get Meredith a birthday present. woohoo. it is raining too. word.

blow them away
You'd blow them up

How would you kill someone
brought to you by Quizilla
11:29pm 18/11/2003
mood: anxious
music: Incubus - Make Yourself (album)
crap. crap. crap. oh what a day. i dont wish to discuss it. it will all work out (either good or bad) in due course. besides that.... yeah. ok. word. anyway.....its just so complicated. itd take forever. maybe when i have like 5 hours to sit and type the entire story. but not until there is some sort of resolution. we dont need this to get worse by me saying something stupid that i dont entirely mean or could be taken the wrong way. the day is coming near though..... *snap*(will I?)

i just looked at my floor and saw a "cricket" it was actually the little clip part that broke off of one of my pens. i was all, how the hell did you get up here? cos we have a ton of em in our basement. then i focused some more and was, oh ok. i am dumb. its the tiredness. yes thats what i say!

AHHHHH Wonderful December
Dec. 6 - SATS/ Miss Job's Daughters Pageant (im not in it, duh)
Dec. 13 - Placebo concert
Dec. 17 - MSI concert/Sasha's BDay/New LOTR
Dec. 19 - Last day of school for the year (i think)
Dec. 22 - First day of winter
Dec. 25 - Christmas!/ My Poppop's Bday
(aaawwww yeah/am i forgetting something?)

You see the world in Black
SOAKS IN BLOOD. Well, you're angry at the
world. For reasons who knows, but you
definately hate life.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla
     Read 1 - Post
Wal-Mart Rocks My Target Argyle Socks Off   
11:37pm 17/11/2003
mood: mellow
music: Radiohead - The Bends (album)
went out with stephen and kari tonight. it was supposed to be just me and kari, but then steve showed up at my house a few minutes before. he didnt know about it. so he decided to come. kari seemed a little annoyed all night, but maybe that was because she had a hangover(leftover from saturday's Marine's Ball). anyway, it was good fun. we went to wal-mart (je l'adore) and target (c'est assez bien). then we went on Aberdeen Proving Ground (he'a a marine, but he doesnt work there or anything) to go to the commisary. it is closed on mondays! we then went to the PX. our whole mission of the night was to find or friend meredith a birthday present for thursday. we failed beautifully. we got some dinner. i got some life savers and argyle socks at target. but thats all we got. i will have to go to best buy tomorrow or on wednesday to try and find her the breakfast club. i couldnt find it! mere loves that movie. then we got home at about 7:45. that was it. how exciting!

tomorrow: work! (6pm-9pm(?))
wednesday: best buy(?) and OES Ceremony
thurday: mere's bday party(hopefully. it is at 4 and i have to leave for my meeting by 7pm. i should be able to come for a while.) and Job's meeting
friday: work(?)
saturday: work 7am-2:30pm
sunday: work 7am-2:30pm, going to shop for a formal dress with mah sister Heidi.

My inner child is ten years old today

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wish, I wish, I wish   
03:59pm 17/11/2003
mood: lonely
music: Radiohead - The Bends
Where do we go from here?
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now, when I need you
Alone on an aeroplane
Fall asleep on against the window pane
My blood will thicken

I need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain
'Cause I'd be scared that there's nothing underneath
But who are my real friends?
Have they all got the bends?
Am I really sinking this low?

My baby's got the bends, oh no
We don't have any real friends, no, no, no

Just lying in the bar with my drip feed on
Talking to my girlfriend, waiting for something to happen
I wish it was the sixties, I wish I could be happy
I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen

Where do we go from here?
The planet is a gunboat in a sea of fear
And where are you?
They brought in the CIA, the tanks and the whole marines
To blow me away, to blow me sky high

My baby's got the bends
We don't have any real friends

Just lying in the bar with my drip feed on
Talking to my girlfriend, waiting for something to happen
I wish it was the sixties, I wish I could be happy
I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen

I wanna live, breathe
I wanna be part of the human race
I wanna live, breathe
I wanna be part of the human race, race, race, race

Where do we go from here?
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now when I need you?
Impossible Things Can't Happen   
11:11pm 16/11/2003
mood: melancholy
music: Phantom Planet - Anthem
I woke up today a song was swimming in my head
And I hummed it to myself as I got out of bed
And on the way to take a shower it all just dawned on me
That a song like this just might go down in history
I quickly ran back to get my guitar
A pen and some paper

'Cause this whole world needs an Anthem
And I'm trying to put the words where they belong
Yeah this whole world needs an Anthem
And I'm hoping everyone will sing along

Well I quickly got to work and put the song in gear
And my neighbor rang the doorbell said it caught his ear
I was playing it so loud the whole neighborhood could hear
And at night from every household it became quite clear
Everyone was singing along
The same notes the same song
Or maybe I heard it wrong

'Cause this whole world needs an Anthem
And I'm trying to put the words where they belong
Yeah this whole world needs an Anthem
And I'm hoping everyone will sing along.
Est-ce que Nous Attendons La Mort?   
11:03pm 16/11/2003
mood: drained
music: dead depressing silence
everyone's lives seem pretty shitty lately. a lot of the people i know are just pissed off and all that jazz. i know i am. i wonder why that is? well not that many, ya see i am not naming people, as they know who they are. and perhaps i am exaggerating because so many other peoples lives seem so fucking happy and spectacular compared to mine. i work and go to school and that's it. i dont do much stuff with my friends. no one really cares about me because they are too busy doing things with eachother. the only places where i always feel at least a bit appreciated is with my sister and my mommom and at Job's Daughters, and i thank those people. some of them [at Job's] are the nicest people that you will ever meet in your entire life. but that is only a a day or so a week. that's not enough to keep me going. i hate all the people at school and i have to be there every damn day. it gets harder and harder to get up every morning. which worries me that one day i will just give up completely, because part of me already has. i wonder what the rest of my life will/could be like, when/if i get there. i dont want these horrible years to ruin the rest of my life which could be better. or not. see no one really knows. maybe life really does "suck then you die". i am beginning to think whoever said that first was correct.
     Read 2 - Post
01:40am 15/11/2003
mood: exhausted
music: none (i know why the fuck..its all in my brain...Radiohead)
my day was pretty sad. school 7:30-2:45, homework 3-3:30, work 3:50-10:31, dinner and tv till now. oh what a fun day. i am tired as balls. whenever i am this tired i think i could never be more tired in my life. but if i think that every time, it has never been and probably never will be true. tomorrow i work 2pm-10:30. sunday i work 7am-2:30pm. i was really hating second shift cos it ruins the rest of the day. maybe first will be better. i hope so cos i miss everything by working at night. i am thinkin first shift will work out better, despite the fact that i will be half asleep half of the time. oh well. not like it takes much effort or thinking anyway. yeah.

Walking Sex Vampire

Sexy-like Vampire
Sexy-like Vampire

What type of vampire are you?
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Lost Lost Lost   
12:26am 14/11/2003
mood: infuriated
music: Placebo - 36 Degrees
my computer froze. i just lost my whole fucking journal entry. i was so damn angry and the freezing of the computer and not allowing me to publish my anger only makes the anger more intense. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Fucking piece of shit. Dammit. WTF. AAAAAAHHHHHH cocksucker. i want my journal back. and i am too tired and frustrated to re write it. dammit. it was really good too. nice and bitchy and full of self hate. DAMMIT. AAAAAAHHHHH. well i guess this will have to do.
Infinite Inches of Irritation   
11:54pm 12/11/2003
mood: aggravated
music: Loveline
i almost forgot to write tonight. dundundun. well another boring day. i am going nuts too. why do so many things and people in my life have to make me so frustrated???? i get so frustrated and annoyed that my skin just feels uncomfortable and every inch of it is irritated and i cant do anything about it because it is attached. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. i cant stand it. i dont want to say too much that will get me in trouble with people though. this was supposed to be where i just say whatever the fuck i want but i am too afraid of causing conflict which begets confrontation which begets hurt feelings. and i dont handle confrontation. however, sometimes i am easy to read, and it is very obvious when i am angry. other times not though. well here we are. i just dont wanna cause more problems than already exist so i hold my tongue/typing fingers. if it gets worse i may snap though. i hardly ever do that. and only with my parents. haarrr. i hate being so damn passive. *sigh* oh well.
my house smells like brownies. yuuuuuuummmmmeeeh. good times. well tomorrow is another day. ...... ... ......... ....... .. . ...... ....... .. ......... ..... ... ........ .... ... ... ...... .... not looking forward to it.

Gee whiz, tell Mommy to stop babying you so much
and get out of the house once in a while. You
are the typical nerd. Congradulations, the
other kids walk all over you and make fun of
you, but you'll show them someday when you
develop the latest line of anti-depressants
that they will need when they are 35.

What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you?
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The Landing Party of Mars: Embrasse-Moi, Mets Ton Doigt Dans Mon Cul   
11:12pm 11/11/2003
mood: anxious
music: Loveline
Yes another day. school, work, homework, a little tv chill time(i watched Dumb and Dumber again. some movies just never get old.) and here i am about to go to bed.
and the best news of the day.........I AM GOING TO A PLACEBO CONCERT!!!! december 13. in Philadelphia. i convinced my parents to drive Sasha, Krystal and myself. the show is at 9 and i cant drive after 12. Krystal is Sasha's friend. i dont know her, but i know that she is obsessed with Placebo. its a weird situation, but hey i am taking a chance. getting out there and seeing the world and meeting new people. even if they will probably hate me. whatever. thats what life is about. and......on that note....*yawn* we try to go to sleep.

You'd OD. A part of you still is yearning to live..
but yet, the part that pops the pills is
demanding you end your life now, and finally
give in. You are scared of dying. But, yet, so
curious as to what happens.. and want it so
badly. You want to hurry and get it over with..
The quicker, the better.

How would you commit suicide?
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We'll See (Whenever, Possibly Never, Maybe Tomorrow)   
12:08am 11/11/2003
mood: confused
music: The Strokes - Is This It (album)
wow. i just got off the phone with Randy. we were talking since 9. good times. today was pretty boring. ssdd. i have a quiz tomorrow in pre-calc that i actually studied for. i missed a lot of class. blargh. i think that i am ready for it. i guess we will see tomorrow morning.
tonight my parents, my sister, her hunsband, my grandma and i went out to dinner. my grandma lives in PA. she is down her staying with my cousins because my aunt and uncle are on vacation. my grandpa passed away on Jan 1 of this year so she is still adjusting but is less sad than she was earlier in the year. she got a dog. it is a cute little thing. i dont know about dogs or else id know what kind it is. its name is Socky.
anyway....i am really tired.
i cleaned off my desk today. now i can do my homework in here. thats what it was originally intended for, besides my desk. but it just gets really clutered really easily. i had a whole grocery bag full of trash. and another bag of just random shit that i didnt know what to do with. yeah. a bit of clutter. yeah.... well i always say after i clean it that it will never get that way again. but it always does so i am not making any promises this time.
BLAH! my life is so interesting.
oh Randy knows this guy in choir that said that he wanted to be friends with Randy and I's group of friends. that is really weird. i hope he doesnt wanna be friends with them for the wrong reasons. hmmmm. i know he prolly doesnt mean me too though. that doesnt make any sense. come on lets be realistic. Randy said that he said that he has no friends that are girls and would like to be friends with "Randy's friends". ok... whatever. weirdo... we'll see what happens there....
Randy is also friends with this girl that i used to be friends with. i dont know why we arent anymore though. we used to have lots of fun. but we just kinda fell out of touch back in 6th grade. Randy said that she has mentioned me lately and the fun that we used to have. Randy said that he wants us to be friends again so that all three of us can hang out. i suppose i am willing. i dont think i have any hard feelings about it anymore. i did there for a while cos i felt (feel) extremely defective as a person. i have lost a few friends over the years for inexplicable reasons. i have felt really bad for all of those falling outs. i miss most of the people. the person in question included. i guess we will see what happens there too....
The World Is Dying   
11:57pm 09/11/2003
mood: frustrated
music: Everclear - Santa Monica
I am still livin' with your ghost
Lonely and dreamin' of the west coast
I don't wanna be your down time
I don't wanna be your stupid game
With my big black boots and an old suitcase
I do believe I'll find myself a new place
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just wanna see some palm trees
I will try and shake away this disease
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
I am still dreamin' of your face
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away
I don't wanna be your good time
I don't wanna be your fall back crutch anymore

Walk right out into a brand new day
Insane and rising in my own weird way
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just wanna feel some sunshine
I just wanna find some place to be alone
Yeah watch the world die
     Read 1 - Post
Play-Doh Huffers Anonymous (PDHA)   
11:53pm 09/11/2003
mood: discontent
music: The Strokes - Is This It (album)
wow today was boring as balls. i got up, went to work, came home and talked to my parents for a while while they watched the game. i hate football. yeah so today blaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! ...........yeah.......... yeah and that's it. and here i am typing and huffing play-doh. good times righ? righ! i wish i had more to say. i guess the fact that i have nothing to say really says something. ok i am satisfied then! night.

You Have the Power to Turn Things to Stone!

What's Your Magic Power?
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Growth and Decay   
05:40am 09/11/2003
mood: contemplative
music: just the soft electronic humming of my computer
I just got off the phone with Stephen(steve). we were talking online and he said to call him. that was at around 3. we talked about all kinds of things. and played name that tune. it is always my job to name. its good times. wow i miss these kinds of nights/mornings. makes me long for the carefreeness of the summer. ahhhhhh. but alas, i must get up for work by 1pm. it is strange how all the crazy things that have happened lately has brought so many of us closer together again. but at such a cost. a life and many friendships. it just totally screws with my brain to think of how much has changed, within "our group" and within myself, in the past two weeks. wow.
Rat-tat-tat, yo.   
02:34am 09/11/2003
mood: disappointed
music: Husker Du, Hot Hot Heat, Garbage, "Auld Lang Syne"
today kinda sucked. i got up at 12:30 cos ppl kept calling my house. first my mommom called. that was fine i could have gone back to sleep. but then my dad called and wanted me to log a geocache for him. i did cos i am part of the team, but i planned on going back to sleep. but it took a while and he said he was calling back later so i decided ah fuck it and stayed up. he called back every hour to check and see if anyone else logged the page yet. i watched tv and did online quizzes all day. i watched when harry met sally again. i dunno why i love that movie so much. their relationship is so wonderful and i am so lonely. i admit that i can give into a good chick flick once in a while. at 8 i went to cosmic bowling. eh that was crap. it was all rap and fake rock stuff like good charlotte and all american rejects and the ataris. blech. the company wasnt much better. there was like 10 of us. i went with my bethel from job's daughters. i just dont handle situations like that. loud disgusting music. and lots of ppl. i didnt really know what to do with myself. the only person i really talked to was Jill. we get along pretty well cos we both like weird shit and weird words. and we made fun of the wigger kid next lane over whose pants were falling down. harhar it was funny. the bowling was ok. i got a 110, 96, and 131. i have never gotten over a 110 before i dont think. this was monumental for me. *tear* (ha). ok yeah so the day was a bust. what can i say. and here's some quizzes thingies. i have done like 2 billion of them and saved all the codes. is that bad?

You're my Black Nailpolish!

What Item On My Desk Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are burning
You are burning

What Self-Mutilation Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh and yesterday i read all of this matrix spoof thing. too funny.
Deprivation of the Sleep   
01:07pm 08/11/2003
mood: aggravated
music: Ben Kweller - Sha Sha
Morning! for some reason i wake up at 9am all the damn time. its weird. ill be sleeping then just, poof, wake up! and when i look at the clock it is sometime within the first half of that nineth hour. but i always go back to sleep so pas de problem. d'accord. but then people start calling. argh. my parents arent home until tomorrow night! i am such a loser though that i dont even take advantage of the situation. whatever. i am still too tired. i didnt get my 12. i think i have to settle for 8 at this point. aawwwww fuuuuuuuuudge! my foot is asleep. oooooch. mmmmmmmm Play-Doh Brand Modeling Compound® smells good. especially the blue. Austin tried to eat it yesterday. he almost vomited. HAHA dumbass. we all ended up getting blue Play-Doh Brand Modeling Compound®. i didnt eat mine. i am gonna go take a shower.
01:55am 08/11/2003
mood: tired
music: Deftones,Jack Off Jill,Eddie Money,Ellis Paul,Bush,Green Day
today was a fun day, for the most part. today we all as in most of my friends took out our friend Jessica(H) for a nice day. her sister passed away on the 26th of october. she was only 14 and died in a bad car accicent. its been really hard on all of us and we all needed to get out. So, going around the table, it was: Randy, Sarah, Becky, Alicia, Austin, Kari, Lauren, Jessica, Jessica and myself. we all ate lunch at Das Red Lobster. id never been there before. it was really nice. then we all went to Chuck E. Cheese's. I hadnt been there since i was about 10 or so. it was really fun. i spent 10 dollars on games and ski ball. i got some Play-Doh and some fake nails(chromeish blue-word). Randy got some chrome nails and body glitter. oh it was a sight. he did this impression of a concerned mother, it went something like, "honey dont look at the man in drag..." HAHAHAHA. woo... then Randy, Sarah, Jessica(G), and I went to Wal-Mart. the fabric lady was gettin all bitchy with Randy for asking questions. i just wanted to know if i could dye polyester, cos i finally found more hangy-ball-fringe-things for my car but they are white. my other ones are blue. so they lady was all mad and so Randy wrote a complaint letter to the management. HAHA it was great. so ran around the store and Randy bought a tie pattern. he loves to sew. and he is really good at it. he makes kilts and stuff and is going to make Sarah a prom dress. then funniest aspect of the entire day was prolly the fact that Randy couldnt really walk. he kinda shuffled/waddled. he did a 12 mile walk/run-a-thon yesterday and was in pain. but we still made him walk around all day. it was good times. ok anyway......after Wal-Mart, we took Jessica(G) home. Then Sarah, Randy and I went back to Bel Air to go to the movies. there was a SUV in the parking lot with its door hanging open and stuff strewn about. so we went in and told the dude inside. he called the cops. i dont know whatever happened with that though. we tried to go see Texas Chainsaw Massacre. but we were refused as we did not have sufficient identification. FUCKIN HELL. i watch R rated movies all the time. whatever. i am trusted to drive a car but i cant watch a movie. that makes sense. ok moving on. so we went to the other movie theater. we could have definitely gotten in there but the times we are stupid so we left and went to Pizza Hut. YUMMIES! yet again more strange looks from mothers. just cant take us out in public i s'pose. then we went to the other Wal-Mart. we looked at more fabric. i wanna make some spiffy curtains for my room. it isnt dark enough. i like to sleep during the day. i am gonna get some of that window tint and some nice curtains. they have this awesome fabric that is constellations that glow in the dark. i am all over that. then we played with all the toys. that was good. after that we went to weis to see Austin. he was in the parking lot talking to Jessica (H), Kari and Becky. it was really strange accidentally meeting them again. at this time it was about 8 or 9 o'clock. so Austin went home and we followed Kari, Jess and Becky to Burger King to meet Stephen(Steve) - my cousin and Kari's boyfriend, and his friend Jake. right when we got there this guy cruised by in his car and said to Stephen, "Fuck her, I did." of course we didnt know the guys they were just being assholes. so of course Stephen had to say something and the guy turned around in his car and was all what what u wanna start something. Steve was all, i am a marine, dont fuck with me. the guy was all so come and drop me then what what what. so they yelled back and forth for a few seconds. kari was all scared. the guy said he had a gun. so we all left and went to the nearby wendy's. Jess, Becky, Randy Sarah and I sat at one table and Jake, Steve and Kari were at the other. soon Jake went and sat in the car cos he wanted to go. boohoo. he doesnt like us all for some reason. we are not like him and his friends or whatever. so then steve wanted to leave. then Kari got really pissed at him. we were all going to leave when Steve told Kari he was gonna go out with jake instead for the rest of the night. she got super-pissed and Steve was all mad. so Kari half slammed the car door on his leg and we all left. Jess went to a meeting at work. i think Becky and Kari waited for her somewhere. i guess Steve and Jake went out. HAHA. I took Randy and Sarah home. we had some nice time to talk in the car about it all. we decided that we are really good friends because we are the social outcasts and we need to stick together. cos we have fun together and the rest of the world doesnt really understand the way we are. they are the people that really allow me to just be myself and nothing more or less. word. so that was the whole damn day in as few words as possible i guess. i rarely have days like this. i dont really do stuff with people that much. sad. people dont really make plans with me or think to call or whatever. its like i am sort of the person ya call when there is no one else to call or you are really(really) bored. which doesnt happen much. i have some of the best friends in the world when it really comes down to it though.(hhhmmmmmmmmmm). as lonely as i feel 95% of the damn time, today was a nice break from the usual.