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Friday, February 27th, 2004
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9:54 pm - still blurty
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okay so I finally got the journal (lj) I was dying to have last year...and the cliche that "what you want isn't necessarily what you need" is perfectly applicable here. I'm switching back to Blurty. yey for me. A blurty friend Tinkk, is the one responsible for me having the Lj code...Sigh. Thanks again Tinkk.
current mood:  okay
current music: KIssing a Fool -- Michael Buble
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| Monday, February 23rd, 2004
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11:28 pm - it's just a little crush
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it's just a little crush, not that I'll faint everytime we touch...oh great. just great. even that jennifer paige song is ringing in my head. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling right now..This is the first time this sort of thing has happened to me..to me! I the type who never falls in love. I'm the type that squirms when people aroud me get too mushy. well, don't get me wrong, I'm not stone cold, I woundn't mind romance on movies or whatever, but it's NOT I repeat happening to ME. ugh.
Okay this guy that I think I had a crush on (the only guy) sudeenly reappears in my life through friendster beta. and just now when I checked my bulletin, he posted a poem there about knowing someone for 8 years and loving her! There's even this part that says hope you still remember the guy who loves you buit never got the chance to say it!
my sister and I were just talking about him last night and to horror of horrors, I blurted out that I've had a crush on this guy and were just friend and ooh..she said that signs were everywhere. I told her certain things that happened to us before ( stop barfing, this isn't the gross part..lol) there's this...1.) He sang in front of class which was wasy back in highschool, the song that I told him I loved since the fifth grade. 2.) He gave me his ever fav. playstation cd (we're both fans of computer games) and other things I'd rather not say..
oh what to do...should I ask him jokingly who is his poem deity...ior I dunno. I never thought I'd write something like this here. needed to blow some of it off so there it goes..
current mood:  confused
current music: Just Another Woman in Love -- Anne Murray
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| Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
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6:20 pm - LJ
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Should I shut this journal down? Should this be my last entry?
Okay, so I now have my most sought after journal thanks to CALENLUIN. *smiles
my first entry in that journal is about my not having icons there yet and not being able to update yet. I really wanted to start that journal with sort of html icons, but being the html illiterate that I am, I don't know how to go about it...yet.
So back again to my question...should I?
Naaahh...the real question is can I keep this up?
Maybe I'll make this a sort of story journal...I have always wanted to write...
hmm. that had me thinking...I would be transfering to dentistry and a new school next year..figure it'd be a new start for me which I thought I desperately need...I'd be leaving Journalism and my beloved School...sigh.
decisions decisions...I don't want to leave..but I had to otherwise I would end up something wasteful..
I still have this sem to think it over...
HOpe I make the right choice..whatever..I would still remain the Journalist at heart...maybe I could write a book about a psycho dentist who falls in love with an undertaker...and in the end should someone die? (moulin rouge line) whew...okay so I still worry about plagiarism...not tghe type to steal anyone's idea.
My entry here is even longer thatn that of my LJ's...eheh weird
SO where to put my thoughts on the evr so beautiful lea salonga and her very successful concert last saturday?
better on my Lj...or else I would end up filling this one and leavinbg that other one deleted...
"...the atmosphere is thrilling here as always...feel the early morning madness...feel the magic in the making...why, everything's as if we never said goodbye.."
current mood:  amused
current music: someone to watch over me -- lea salonga
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| Monday, September 8th, 2003
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6:55 pm - finding nemesis
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my computer's fresh from the shop again..this damn thing keeps failing me..
wonder if it's because of KAZAA...?
fuck the people that upload uselles crap...I've downloaded Ka-Ching ( kill me, I like that song) 10x!
and another bummer, my PDA erased everything...! I have poems there..the spur of the moment ones..
anyways, got a presentation tomorrowin my speech class, a stupid thing about book binding..you sew the edges glue this glue that, cut this, attach that...crafty stuff that I will never be good at..I even don't know how to cook! love eating though. lol oh and my achievement at the moment..I cooked popcorn..sweet ol' microwave.
finding nemo : okay so I'm head over heels over Dory...she's the funniest fish ever..lol
saw my nemesis yesterday...my annoyingly gross highschool math nuisance ( oh, she's a teacher..? never had a clue)..she made my life a living HELL. She is so insecure of herself that a lowly student such as I infuriated her whenever I can answer her fucked up questions. and she did those things that always made me ask myself 'why the hell me?' And would you believe it, my fellow batchmates back then noticed how she was desperately trying to be my clone, my hair, the way I speak..my likes!!!..sorry bitch, I'm more than all that.
why am i still pissed? it was way bach in highschool for chrissakes...simple..I was so shoked when I saw her flabbergastingly disgusting face, that I haven't had the chance to roll my eyes or even smirk..grr...given another chance..I would let her see how horrified I was...and what's weird..she stared and stared without looking at mw in the eye....grr PIG!
current mood:  bitchy
current music: Mr. Suave
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, August 31st, 2003
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2:08 pm - feel like crap
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I haven't been updating my journal lately because I shoudn't and I can't bring about so much misery. That has been my life so far these last few days...so why am I writing now? nothing has chaged. I'm still damn miserable. Guess I'm trying to cheer myself up.. so, I'll just ponder on the things that's really perked my solitary slumber.
1. going to download all of J. mayer's and jason mraz' songs
2. be learning soon about html.
3. there's the annual book sale in national bookstore.
4. I still love anne rice..(making my way through TALTOS) --- I love Rowan Mayfair!
5. okay, so this really cracks me up -- DORY of finding nemo -- love her too
6. just bought THE JUNGLE BOOK (JASON SCOTT LEE) and EDWARD SCISSORHANDS(JOHNNY DEPP)
7. seen the cover of GQ -- the ever so sexy johnny depp.
8. rachel weisz has a lot of movies...hope she gets to be wonder woman.
9.my now two year old niece singing " duyan, ep en dam" -- supppossed to be up and down
10. seen FIRST NIGHTagain yesterday...OOOH love that..
that cheered me up a bit...:0)
oh and a Live joiurnal code would cheer me up BIG time! lol
current mood:  cranky
current music: sleep all day -- jason mraz
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| Sunday, August 10th, 2003
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12:03 am - saint
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to be a saint you shoud've witnessed three miracles (from the movie the saint). I believed I had.
miracle one
I was 30 minutes late for a one hour class and there's suppossed to be an exam, my ever so punctual professor came later than I did. the exam was cancelled.
miracle two
I wasn't able to finish a report that was due on that day. there was an announcement that the classes were suspended.
miracle three
I was late again, the traffic was really intense. my first period professor was absent. her first after her first day of teaching ever (about 20 years ago..)
these three things happened in three consecutive days. now does that make me a saint..naaah, just really really lucky!
current mood:  cheerful
current music: painter's song -- norah jones
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| Thursday, July 31st, 2003
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2:24 pm - Pablo Neruda
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Adioses
Yo no encendi sin un papel amargo.
Yo no fui causa de aquel Buenos Dias
que se dieron el trueno con la rosa.
Yo no hiceel mundo, no hice los relojes,
no hice las olas ni tampoco espero
hallar en las espigas mi retrato.
Y de tanto, perder donde no estuve
fui que dandome ausente
sin derrochar nighuana preferencia
sino un monte de sal desmoronado
pour una copa de aguan del invierno.
Sel pregunta el viajero sis sostuvo
el tiempo, andando contra la distancia,
y vuelve adonde comenzo a llorar:
vuelve a gastar su dosis de yo mismo,
vuelve a irse con todos sus adioses.
Goodbyes
I’ve a flair for the bitterest roles.
I was never the cause of those greetings
the thunderbolt exchanged with the rose.
I never created the world, never made
watches or waves – I never expected
to find my portrait engraved in the wheat.
After losing so much in places I’ve not even been to,
I perfected my absence
with hardly q vagary lost –
only a pillar of salt crumbling away
in a cupful of wintery water.
The traveler asks himself: if he lived out
a lifetime, pushing the distance away
does he come back where his grieving began:
squander his dose of identity again,
say his goodbyes again, and go?
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: one more time -- chante moore ft. kenny g.
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| Sunday, July 27th, 2003
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11:05 pm - so here I am again..trying to dadada
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How weird is it that when i'm finally truly busy that I find time to write all this? missed this so much I guess. I'm about to start a journal (more like a scrapbook to me), i bought this really thick and huge sketch pad ( i like to write freely without the annoying constriction of lines) last week and i haven't started writing anything in it yet, come to htink of it, I haven't even removed it from the plastic. Oh yeah, i even bought a green mechanical pencil to match, I'm not really good at using mechanicals, though i definitlely prefer the scratch of a pencil than the shrpness of a pen, the HB lead strted my fascination with mechanicals. And it is really cool how itlooks like a thick padded ballpen. anyways, this song's in my head...
stay
lisa loeb
You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you
You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you
You said, "you caught me 'cause you want me and one day you let me go"
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
'Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay."
You say I only hear what I want to
and of course what goaded me to write here again even though I'm ever so busy...?
is this! -----> happy birthday Morangos!
xtra..:
anyone pls help!
how do you toggle the font? to make it bold etc? or even the size?
current mood:  busy
current music: stay -- lisa loeb
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 1st, 2003
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4:57 pm - Rotten Day?!
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My oh so boring Philosophy professor decided she needed the class’ attention back again so she decided to give us this very lame activity. She gave us “ I am” as an opening statement for us to fill in. Honestly, it would have been fun if I didn’t know that she only did this because she’s also getting tired of telling us this religious stuff she doesn’t even understand. But of course I should give her credit for trying somehow. I wrote hideous and shocking things because I’m really feeling crappy that moment. I wrote that I didn’t care for confessions and such. That I am rotten to people I don’t like, that I’d rather shut my trap than talk to a daft church devotee. To my horror of horrors, she asked us one by one to read our works in front of class. You just can’t imagine how stupid I’ve felt and in some way brave to get my point across without the recipient noticing. Lucky me, I guess I won’t fail that class. Lol
My sister started behaving normally again. That is, getting credit for my work. That always seems to get on my nerves. Duh, she’s older and yet…okay gotta control myself.
A really stupid and tactless friend just told me who died in the fifth Harry Potter book. Saying she didn’t know that I haven’t read it yet. Grrr. Maybe you should have tried asking me , Moron?! So much for waiting for my book to be available…my dad is sweet enough to have one reserved for me, even if I didn’t asked him to. At least that is really something to smile about.
We have a math test tomorrow, about Interest, Promissory notes, discount, the like…really hope I pass, anything math related has never liked me, well the feeling is mutual..
Au revoir! Off to hit the books…
current mood:  crappy
current music: girl of my bestfriend --elvis presley
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| Sunday, June 29th, 2003
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9:55 pm - 15 crappy things
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things that are NOW popping in my head:
1.most sensous and appealing female celebrity of our time?
Rachel Weisz
( She has a way of carressing the camera unconsciously)
2. most beautiful planet?
Venus
( I dunno way back in highschool, I have always liked Venus. maybe the one who named it liked it as much ot be likened to the goddess aphrodite)
3. most annoying rap artist?
Nelly...nelly..nelly...well, what is there to like?
4. funniest AFV (america's funniest home video)
the clip where the baby yelled her head off when Eeyore (a mascot of the winnie the pooh line) approached her from behind to say "HI". he did this over and over and tortured the baby over and over.
5. movie with the most moving score?
attack of the clones and ghost are tied.
6. best pc game?
the sims, of course
7. best martyr (hmn, rhymes with stupid?) in a book?
Ms. Sanchez of Daluyong by Lazaro Francisco...so so tragic
(a character i loved, and blamed for her passing)
8. favourite song?
"the hardest day of my life"
the corrs feat. alessaNDRO sans
9. coke or pepsi?
oh you mean they're different?!
10. best playstation game with a soundtrack?
Final Fantasy VIII
11. best heart wretching book by a fictionist?
Rage of Angels -- sidney Sheldon
12. my past life?
Cleopatra the VII of the Ptolemaic Dynasty
13. best new artist?
Norah Jones, simply great!
14. greatest rock and roll artist
the king. thank you, thank you very much.
15. one of the foolish things I did?
this question-answer crap.
current mood:  weird
current music: finally found someone --bryan & barbra
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| Tuesday, June 17th, 2003
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12:00 am - morning classes -- what a sore
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I'm not really used to morning classes for my classes last semester starts at 3pm up to 7pm. mondays through saturdays! my school's a two hour drive so I usually leave before 1pm and be home at about 9pm.my schedule is now is 7am to 1pm! darn, I have to wake up at about 4am! I end up sleepy everyday after coming home. I can't accomplish much with this system. well I guess it just takes getting used to. hope I egt used to this soon.
anyway, I got a copy of the sims superstar last night. yeah, i'm sort of addicted to that game, even though I am fully aware that tthe producers of this game just puts on expansion pack after another to sqeeze more cash than they're su[pposed to.
I rented legally blonde last staurday, and oh boy was it worth it. I'm gonna burn a copy tomorrow. I didn't believe that Reese could really look so good. the movie is a solid proof. t5hough there are lots and lots of glitches in the movie,
1.how can a prosecuting attorney just sit there when her witness is being bombarded with statement and not questions? hey i'm no lawyer, but isn't that leading the witness?
2.can one be acquitted when somenone from the witness stand agrees to doing the crime? (totally dumb)
3.schools have full control of who they admit even if their applicant aced the lsat.
4.a stdent speaker in a graduation doesn't just go about tossing the cap when she's done with the speech.
5. I'm not yet done ridiculing the movie but I'll shut up.
(who the hell expects it to be perfect when it's a teeny bopper?)
it coluld pass up as enjoyable in a sense.
goodness gracious, need my sleep,.
current mood: crappy
current music: crying in the rain --everly bros.
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| Thursday, June 12th, 2003
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11:38 pm - the computer returns
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my computer started working fine again after its trip to the repair shop that is. they found nothing wriong with it, internally externally...everything is working just fine. the technician's assumption is that it has something to do with power supply and spark something (sorry, computer amateur here) bet he was right. I managed to stay online for about three whole hours today without even restarting...ahhhh feel good..doo doo doo. lol
anyways, school has just started. time to pressure myself with things that I should have accomplished a looong time ago. i hate cramming but I do that 24/7 with everything. seeems to me that I function better being rushed and with the deadline right at the tip of my very nose..ironic, don't you think? a little too ironic, you know I really do think. It's like rain on your wedding d...whoops okay I was a bit carried away with that...I'm just too happy to be backhere that I'm singing songs that pops in my head.
been spending my free time last few days (my computer's down) playing harvest moon, a playstation title, which is really cute and interesting, you get to run your own farm,socialize and court girls lol...well I stopped because my memorycard betrayed me and damaged my file! okay now, i musn't fill my head with depressing crap like that or else i'll end up annoyed again. so a good thought...hmnn..well I think here's one.
been reading ANNE RICE's THE WITCHING HOUR...and it's damn bewitching...so scary so gothic, so passionate, so humane yet very complex. I've been reading just one chapter a night to prolong my agony in anticipating what would happen next. I usually do that with good books because if I don't I'll end up finishing it sooner than I want it to end which lefts me hanging and asking"what's next? or will there be a sequel aNYtime soon?"
oh my sister's playing "pero me acuerdo de ti". it's by Christina Aguilera..it's really disappointing becaise i used to like her back when she looked decent and when she used her voice to grab attention and that precious little spot in ther industry...now she's like ugh, all dirty...why should she be daring? to match britney spears' reputation? well that is totally lame..britney exposes herself too much because she knows that with just her voice and no gimmicks whatsoever, she'll end up in ridicule. if only christina could get the relly good songs that her wonderful deserves and lose the very queer aparrel...oh well, there's always norah jones to listen to. lol her music's really one of a kind nd the kind that would make you dash for the nearest record bar and purchase her cd, the kind that would make you appreaciate jazz even more or for thr first time ever, the kind whose lyrics are from the simplest of words but not for simpletons...yeah i really like her. wishing her more success and the other artists I've mentioned here too. (i didn't mean to offend anyone, and i do not dislike the two artist that i mentioned prior to ms. jones, and if I did in anyway offend, sorry!)
uh oh it's already twelve midnight...need my sleep. (as if I haven't stayed later than that...yeah ridicule yourself...:0))
current mood:  accomplished
current music: shoot the moon--norah jones
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| Sunday, June 1st, 2003
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11:19 pm - hotmail here I come
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whew, my computer didn't freeze today, thank the Lord Almighty...yep that's the weirdest reason why I've been neglecting this journal...and to all those nice people who have posted their thoughts days and days ago, thank you and so sorry that I wasn't able to reply to your respective comments...cuz I've changed my email to hotmail, so bug off yahoo...oh and to all those people who want the celebrity yearbook pictures, pls leave your address again if you're still interested..:) sorry fo the inconvenience, but I'm really afraid of having my computer crash on me again after opening yahoo nad getting the message that explorer has an error blah blah blah...
whew.
anyways, got into a fight with my sister 'cause she didn't return the forrest gump vcd she borrowed from me. she kept telling me that she had and that my dad even saw it like last night...hello! forrest gump airs on hbo asia...grrr.
I really liked that movie that's why I'm so pissed...why, if its the thin red line that's been missing, I woundn't evan bat an eye...(sorry, but I really didn't think that was a movie...it was just an excuse to put high caliber stars together in a film..and only cameo...and definitely no story, only gore.)
so okay I'm blaming the thin red line for my anger...(oh, I actually smiled at that)
current mood:  angry
current music: hummm humm
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| Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
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11:09 pm - Poetry
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I can still remember
I hated you
I even mustered up the courage
To make you feel it
I could not remember
when and where
How and why
that changed
If the mind decides who we love
How come I don't remember?
Perhaps that doesn't matter
Memories of you are better
Than those moments
when I feel empty
and nothing would come out of me
memories are better
because they make me feel
that I did love you
even if I did not
you never turned me away
Or did you?
Maybe I was just too busy
feeling
how wonderful the world becomes
when you smile
or even if you're mad
or sad
The mood does not matter
only your damn overpowering presence
I just can't erase
just the thought of seeing you again
the thought fo your existence
all good things must come to an end
nust it?
Perhaps it was never that good
Nothing was begun
There shouldn't be an end
I dreamt of you
I thought of you
My mind deceives me
did i imagine holding you close
or
was it real?
I don't care
All that matters is
that you held me
like I never thought
you would
again
I did not
love you
I do not know how
I shouldn't
I couldn't
****this piece was written when I was still in the denial stage of loving my highschool teacher...there were times when it felt real that she loved me back, just like there's this mutual bridge between us that is invisible to others..,I was 16 then, and she was 32...well, she's married now, even has a kid and expecting another pretty soon I suppose...
Am I still in denial..? Maybe I'll always deny what i do not understand...what I try to misunderstand...and what I can never forget.
*wishing her a happy life.
current mood: poetic
current music: I need you
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9:34 pm - yahoo! just scored zero...
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well here I am back online. and YAhoo just scored negative to me...grr it took me like five minutes to open my darn email account....perhaps it was so busy...nonetheless it's really annoying...maybe I shoud start using my hotmail account instead...and for the record, it took me 10 minutes to finally open my inbox...
mey I remember, a friend sent me celebrity pictures way back when they were also nobodies...you'll die laughing...want them? leave a comment with your address...and i'll try...(try not to kill yahoo....)
current mood:  annoyed
current music: burn--tina arena
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12:31 am - my muscles are ache free...bwahaha
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another day in my shoes...it rained a lot early this morning. a very welcome gesture form mother nature since it's been boiling hot this past few months. the rivers that ran dry will be quenched of its thirst.
the copy of some of my poetry is way back in my room so it'd be a pain to get it...I'll just post some of my not so significant works.
I surfed a little and got into this site where they are posting disney collectibles for sale...Well I'm a little mermaid collector, I even collect party favors of the little mermaid (pathetic pathetic, i know quit it)...and when I saw how much is still missing in my collection...sigh....I never really minded...hehe...perhaps because I spent my money this past few weeks on clothes (my folks gave me a sum as a birthday present)...Maybe I outgrown it. or maybe I am just sour graping writing this stuff down...Oh well, I am just sleepy.
the feeling right after a warm bath...
ZZZZzZzZzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
g'night...need to find bedroom...
current mood:  blank
current music: humming of my pc
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| Monday, May 26th, 2003
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5:57 am - awww I'm sore
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tiroed the dumbells yesterday. and my arms are oh so aching...no wonder it's called dumb...I guess you have tyo continue using uit to sculp your arms and the pain would wear otu in time...really blatant that i don't even move around much...even typing this nonsense hurts..anyways, I will start my pesting my poetry real soon...so watch out if you dare...:)
current mood:  sore
current music: till my heartaches end
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| Friday, May 16th, 2003
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5:56 am
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whew...haven't updated in a while...just had my computer fixed. my cpu's now open as in literally open, I can see its insides *belch good thing I haven't had dinner yet..lol. anyway, it is open bc my computer freezes whenever the temperature gets beyond 45C. hot hot.. imagine that, even hotter than an average normal human being...it's awfully hot here esp. during summer..gawd...it has become necessary to bathe 3x a day, but you could skip baths..if you want to smell worse than a horse that is.
gtg to grab some chow...I will try to update as soon as I am free, shackled with school work...*sigh
current mood: hungry and hot
current music: my stomach growling
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 12th, 2003
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10:17 pm - Back!
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well here I am back from an overnight excursion at the beach. ooh and how i got burned, good thing my back's not stinging though as it usually does everytime i go to the beach and overexpose myself. oh well, here are some interesting things i found out (well i think they are):
1. wearing a little loose swimsuit could really be a gigantic embarassing problem. yeah, when trying on a new suit, the tighter one, the better but you should of course make sure you still can breathe. the tighter it is, the more secure and sexy (maybe psychological) you'll feel. --I almost had the top of my one piece go down my shoulders exposing my hooters...which is funny now when i came to think about what would have happened. (the people around me might have run out of fright!) lol
2. you should never try throwing stones at the beach...you know, practicing your baseball arm. you might hit a withered looking bitch who'll yell at you.--happened to my sis. nota bene: she's not the bitch! though she sometimes is, but not in that instance.
3. building sandcastles or pretending to build one near kids is a very very bad idea. they would end up helping you without you asking them with no way to throw them away without hurting their feelings. your castle will end up looking more like a big hole half filled with salt water.
4.bad idea to eat near the water. your food would end up (name of food) ala sand or your fried thingie would end up as grainy soup.
5.good idea: to climb up at the lifegurard's post to see an overview of the beach
bad idea: yell your heart out because you're an acrophobic and can't down the ladder that seems too steep now.
oh, gtg need to eat now.
current mood: mellow
current music: elton john and leanne rimes--written in the stars
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| Saturday, May 10th, 2003
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9:55 pm - this type of modern life...is not for me
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THIS TYPE OF MODERN LIFE IS NOT FOR ME...madonna's new song is kinda cute. even the video is out of this world. no other artist has thought of having all the flags in the world as their background. (not that i know of) She's really a trend setter. I've just downloaded it from kazaa..and playing it bits by bits as it downloads...ah yes, I'm not that mad at my sis anymore. I'm actually talking to her since we crashed the mall earlier today...:) she still haven't apologized yet..don't think she will. I don't take the thing about not trusting her again though, I don't honestly trhink I EVER will.
current mood: amused
current music: MADONNA---american life
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