i have a headache   
10:52am 10/12/2003
mood: frustrated
music: afi - days of the pheonix
i never noticed the drum bit in the beginning of this.hmmm.probly cos i always listen to it on headphones and the sound is pretty shitty on those.sorry kyle :)
when luke goes to work i get to use

okay,i had to stop for a minute.i'm getting that numb thing again.its actually pretty scary at times.you know how it feels when you get anesthesia and you see everything through a yellow haze?and your dizzy and everything sounds far away?somethimes i feel like that for no reason at all,and different parts of my body go numb.my right arm,then my left arm,then it will stop and my cheek goes numb.
10:09pm 09/12/2003
mood: sore
music: alice in chains - rotten apple
what a fuckass week.
i'm only a drunk if your buying   
10:09pm 09/12/2003
mood: uncomfortable
music: drain sth - simn says
why does it have to be so cold in here?fat bastard yelled ay me for turning on the heat.i stayed home today. mom always yells at me and makes me feel guilty for being sick.my head is pounding and i'm alternatelyy hot and cold.
jeremy came over hile my mom was out.we talked alot and she came how before he left,so i got the ladder and snuck him out my window.he is possobly the only person.i got completely shitfraced.i miss love but i cant' understadn where it's hiding..
bi am the great cornholio,you will bow before the almighty bunghole   
01:47pm 06/12/2003
mood: vague
music: cradle of filth - babylon a.d.

What Type of Villain are You?

woo hoo...not really...   
01:34pm 06/12/2003
mood: blank
music: my ruin - blasphemous girl

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?

i've been neglecting my blurty,but deadjournal is so much better.actually,there's not much difference.but i prefer deadjournal so kindly fuck off.
crappy crap-ass   
03:14pm 29/11/2003
mood: blah
music: drain sth - the bubble song
"I'm twice as much man as you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get."
Brian Molko [to Fred Durst]
03:12pm 29/11/2003
mood: quixotic
music: afi - ever and a day
carly,i wish you'd just be you :'(
i'm sitting here,and you don't even know,and i'm crying because you're so far gone,i just can't recognize you.buzz-buzz and you fly away.it sounds like little silver bells.
where's my angel with the black wings that said he wouldn't let his children die?

quix-ot-ic (kw≤k-sÄt2≤k) also quix-ot-i-cal (-≤-kúl)
1. Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality.

espen lind - black sunday
I was you and you were me
And you broke my heart so easily
Then you left a message on my radio

I sleep all day stay up all night
Hanging out 'til dawn to feel alright
Now that I am lost there's nothing left to lose

So I'm dancing in a coma
While I'm downing holy cola
I'm not happy acting this way

Take me back Sunday take me back black Sunday
Maybe things are different when I wake up Monday
How was I supposed to know
That I would have to let you go
Why wasn't I told
It's like everything is slipping away on a black Sunday.

I was you and you were me
And I thought you came to rescue me
But you left a message on my radio

I'm drunk by 7.20
And I sleep around a-plenty
I'm not happy acting this way

Take me back Sunday take me back black Sunday
Maybe things are different when I wake up Monday
How was I supposed to know
That I would have to let you go
Why wasn't I told
It's like everything is slipping away on a black Sunday.

It's darker than me
It's dark as can be
It's everything that I feel
It's hard to let go
Now I need to know
Where do I go from here?

Take me back Sunday take me back black Sunday
Maybe things are different when I wake up Monday
How was I supposed to know
That I would have to let you go
Why wasn't I told
It's like everything is slipping away on a black Sunday.
09:23am 23/11/2003
mood: bored
music: afi - a story at three
You are Form 4, Gargoyle: The Fallen.

"And The Gargoyle mended his wings from the
blood of the fallen so he could rise up from
imprisonment. With great speed and
resourcefulness, Gargoyle made the world his
for the taking."

Some examples of the Gargoyle Form are Daedalus
(Greek) and Mary Magdalene (Christian).
The Gargoyle is associated with the concept of
success, the number 4, and the element of wood.
His sign is the new moon.

As a member of Form 4, you are a creative and
resourceful individual. You are always
thinking of possible solutions to problems you
face and you generally choose one that is
right. Much of your success comes from your
ability to look at things a little differently
than everyone else. Gargoyles are the best
friends to have because they don't always take
things for face value.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is six years old today

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

GAME BOY - Born to Play
A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.
EXTRA: Your personality type is the only one on
this quiz that would enjoy www.life-
blood.vze.com Check it out!

What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )

brought to you by Quizilla

tread across the angels as they crawl   
08:18am 21/11/2003
mood: contemplative
music: afi - over exposure
woke up this morning,decided getting up wasn't worth it.stayed home from school,painted my toenails purple.realized my life is in a downward spiral.thought more and realized its in more of an upward slope.i may as well be crashing,for all the difference it makes.feels like i've been happy for a long time,maybe a week,but we all know its fleeting.not happy really,just not depressed.i exist,thats all.
same place,same hellos,same goodbyes...helps you get through beat up insides...   
06:29pm 20/11/2003
mood: scared
music: alkaline trio - if we never go inside
everything is melting away.conciousness is merely a damp puddle on the floor.goodbye chills.goodbye insomnia.goodbye little yellow pills.
do you love me?
if you couldn't love me,do you like me?
am i pretty enough?
am i thin enough?
do i say the right things?
am i average?
am i too strange?
am i distant?
am i fake?
am i cracked?
do i cling to you?
do you even care at all?
if i ran away tonight,would you come with me?
would you never look back?
take nothing from nothing and you'll have nothing left   
05:57pm 20/11/2003
mood: apathetic
music: afi - advances in modern technology
my discharge date is december 22 or 23. i forget.
oh well.
zack said he's sad i'm leaving.
i don't think ron will call me or anything when i leave.we don't talk on the phone anyway.we're not even going out.we just grope each other in school.woo - hoo. jon put a bolt down my shirt and it was cold so i punched him and he tried to do it again and i kicked him.gransky yelled and called me violent,and asked me not to beat my husband.i can't promise anything.its a circle,you see.children whose parents abuse them often grow up to abuse their own loved ones.i won't ever do that though.i hope.its not like people grow up thinking"if my kid says i'm bald i'm gonna beat the shit out of 'em."

broken hearted
the present is well out of hand   
05:40pm 20/11/2003
mood: amused
music: joy division - heart and soul
ron is going to get himself in so much trouble.he keeps cutting classes to come to mine.its sweet and all,but today he got a level drop for going to games with me instead of study skills.so far i haven't skipped any classes at hellspring.i've been there almost a year now i think.ron says he won't stay after i'm gone.
i made squishy zack god when i leave.heh,i really do own half the school.but only because they're so dumb they think with their little heads,not their big heads. squishy zack,zack,rodey,matt k,and ron were all trying to get my attention at the same time. it was pretty damn hilarious.i think i spelled that wrong.
you don't get that with girls.they don't let their horniness run wild.not that i understand why the boys are horny for me.i'm fat,and not even very pretty.
sevas tra   
11:20am 16/11/2003
mood: content
music: otep - battle ready
damaged people are dangerous,they know they can survive.

broken hearted <-3

i got an otep poster :D
11:13am 16/11/2003
mood: thirsty
music: the missing - family values

you are Witch Baby
You're Witch Baby (The Weetzie Bat Books), an
antisocial child living with you're father and
almost-mother. You're the child of a voo-doo
witch. You love photography and you're the
drummer in a band called Cherokee Bat and the
Goat Guys. You often feel as if you don't

Which One of Francesca Lia Block's Characters Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
witch baby
Witch baby

Which Francesca Lia Block girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're La! Young, heartbroken, and quiet. You yearn
to be popular.

Which Francesca Lia Block Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
     Read 1 - Post
08:44am 16/11/2003
mood: awake
music: samhain - the howl

Which AFI song are you?

Quiz brought to you by Davey-Havok.net

i geuss i change alot.blame it on the mood swings :)
i find this one to be somewhat more true.

i <3 danzig
08:31am 16/11/2003
mood: scared
music: bauhaus - sanity assassin
aww...my mummy made me tea.why is my mummy sudenly taking an interest in me? it's not like its the first school i've been kicked out of.
"let it hold you til they come..."   
08:26am 16/11/2003
mood: blah
music: velvet underground - sweet jane(live)
07:59am 16/11/2003
mood: melancholy
music: veruca salt - officially dead
sorry,long time no update.ray,why is your journal suspended?
friday i went job hunting.i really wanted to work at sally's,but they only hire 18+.it would've been cool cos the people there for the most part are strange-looking like me.theres a girl with tons of piercings,oooo,my fetish!!! :D plus its a really small store so i wouldn't freak out i think.
i got applications from brooks and strawberries too.strawberries is only hiring for the christmas season though.saturday my mom took me to this healthfood store to look for vegan food,but i didnt want the people to see me looking at the food and thinking 'how could she eat all that,she's so fat.'so we only got soy cheese.
everyone thinks tofu is gross,but it's not.it doesn't even taste like anything.i think its made from curdled soymilk.tempei(sp?)is really good.ack.im talking about food now :( if i could just weigh 103 pounds everything would be perfect.
03:09pm 12/11/2003
mood: determined
music: afi - morningstar
ron confuses me.

Which AFI song are you?

Quiz brought to you by Davey-Havok.net

sing a song of sadness...
09:03pm 11/11/2003
mood: melancholy
music: misfits - skulls
music: misfits - skulls

i should never listen to jonestown tea.it makes me remember things i dont want to remember.

during resource i got a level drop for saying i was going to beat up my busdriver with his keys and steal the bus and drive to mexico.chris is a fucking bitch. her and sharon gomes are having a competition on who can get fat enough to eat the other one first.

we made a tent out of a blanket in keyboarding and when we went under it jon grabbed my tit really hard and i punched him.jess told us to come out and i said we were having an orgy and she kicked me out to the cubbies.

mike keeps telling me to talk in my real voice because he likes my real voice and i think he wants me to sing...i would talk in my real voice if i could.i dont even notice that im not and then i try to but i cant figure out what my voice should sound like so i give up.

shit im cold.it must be twenty degrees in here.

speaking of shit,marcy shit in a bag and they asked her if she shit in the bag and so she threw it out.liz didnt believe that she shit in a bag.she thought it was mud so she squeezed it and it was warm and she still didnt believe so she sniffed it.heh heh heh...poor liz...heh...
     Read 3 - Post