Date:	2003-09-15 22:24
Subject:	being a dick!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad
Music:	Perfect - Simple Plan

i am, im being possibly the biggest dick imagineable tonight.
not only am i sick STILL, but i'm having one of the worst days possible on top of that! i don't know what's setting me off, but it seems like it's everything! i found myself calling some friends almost strictly to start a fight so that i could get out pent up aggression! i know that branden is probably really fuckin' pissed at me after our 'conversation' tonight.. i really need to talk to David about something but i'm scared to do it tonight.
Im sick as hell and alone, but i don't want company or much human contact.. i feel really bad about it too! David was very upset today and i couldn't do much for comforting him, i left the wedding early because i had too much on my mind and i felt like i was going to be sick. i... -sighs- i just cant really be happy for someone when im in such a funk, and THAT makes me feel like a dick.
i took a hand full of prozac and beat the hell out of my bathroom, shattered mirrors, the shower is in sevral peices (shower curtian, cold water knob, curtian pole, ect.) and there are holes the size of my fist in the walls. -looks down at hands- my hands are bruised beyond recognition, they don't even look like my hands! if they wern't attached at my wrist i wouldn't think they were mine. i'm almost out of asprin and my head is throbing, i think ill take a drive, maybe get some more while i'm out. maybe the night air and the full moon will help. -shrugs- that could be what's making me so crazy, the moon.

Date:	2003-09-12 22:52
Subject:	Virgin Entrie!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy
Music:	the leaving song part II - AFI

-laughs hystarically- AH! SOMEONE...HELP ME!
sorry, i'm alright now. Quinn was tickling me! -shoots dirty look to other side of the room-
my very first entrie here! i'm popping my Journal cherry! WOO!!
what happened today worth writing about? -ponders-
I'm no longer single!! theres one! -smiles- i'm with david. not really one to kiss and tell but.. -exhales a little, smiling- he's amazing.
i also got into a fight with some dick at the party that i was supposed to be at tonight and was forced to leave early! Jepha had to practically pull me off of this ass hole! -chews on a pen thinking- i've been trying to write too, we have to get back into the studio soon to start recording the new album. but i've got a serious writers block! i think it's my allergy medicine, it's like, zoning me out alot more than any drug i could ever do. maybe thats because i'm drinking and smoking ontop of it all? -shrugs- who knows, chances are! -takes another drink from my beer-
-yawns- i'm kind of tired but kinda hyper at the same time -raises an eyebrow- hmm.. i hate that feeling! but i'll live!! i will goddamnit! -sneezes- excuse me! RUGH!!!
anyway! i'm talking to quite a few of you out there so i'm going to close this up!
Later!