| Now: Newer, Hotter, Sinnier Sins! |
[12 Mar 2008|05:17am] |
Okay, so this is me procrastinating from writing my paper about the Epistolario of St. Catherine of Siena. WTF is up with me and writing about saints?
Dunno if anyone's heard or not (because I hadn't), but apparently Mr. Pope BenedictButtFace has released a set of seven MORE deadly sins, bringing the total up to fourteen! Why do they do that? Looking beyond the whole fact of OMG EVERYTHING IS A SIN AND YOU ARE GOING TO HELL SO BETTER REPENT, why does the church like to do things in sevens? Is that a rule?
Was Benedict sitting around with a couple of Cardinals with six things scribbled down on a napkin going "Okay guys, we need one more sin before we can release them all."
Cardinal Sodano goes "Can't we just go with six? Six is fine, right? We've been here all night, Benny!" (Yes, in my brain, the Cardinals call him "Benny.")
And Benedict getting all furious and like "NO WAY, ANGELO! WE GOTTA HAVE SEVEN! WE ALWAYS DO IT WITH SEVEN!"
And Cardinal Bertone snickers and mutters "Hee hee, we do 'it' with seven."
To which Benny is like "OMG GUYS! GROW UP!"
And Cardinal Marchisano's like, "OKAY, BACK ON TOPIC! WE NEED ANOTHER SIN! We need something controversial, to grab headlines."
And from way in the back, Cardinal Poggi's like "Ooh! Ooh! Make it, um, having sex! Yeah!"
"OMGZ, YOU ARE SO DUMB, LUIGI! HOW CAN WE MAKE MORE CATHOLICS WITH NO SEX?"
"Oh, yeah...."
So finally someone brilliant comes up with a final sin (I was hoping for 'Playing Video Games,' but alas, they could not be so convenient as to come up with something I could SO EASILY make fun of), and they're off. Oh, and apparently, they're not just regular deadly sins... They're social deadly sins... to update the Catholic Church for globalization. Or something.
So, the revised list:
1. Pride
2. Envy
3. Gluttony
4. Lust
5. Anger (Wrath)
6. Greed
7. Sloth
8. "Bioethical" violations such as birth control
9. "Morally dubious" experiments such as stem cell research
10. Drug abuse
11. Polluting the environment
12. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
13. Excessive wealth
14. Creating poverty
Mmkay, on first glance, it's a bunch of stuff that most people are against anyway, right? (Well, except for birth control, that is... I betcha that one was the first one on the list... Benny: OH NOES YOU GUYS, WE NEED MOAR CATHOLICS! QUICK, WE GOTSTA TAKE AWAY CONTRACEPTIVES AND CAUSE THE POPULATION OF THE WORLD TO RISE EVEN HIGHER, THREATENING A MALTHUSIAN CHECK INSTEAD OF JUST GROWING THE FUCK UP AND REALIZING NO ONE LIKES US BECAUSE WE ARE BIGOTED AND NARROW-MINDED AND WON'T LET GAYS INTO DA CHURCH.")
On second glance, however, "polluting the environment" can be interpreted as anything from illegally dumping nuclear waste to driving a car. Vague much? Drug abuse can also be interpreted widely as either OMGHEROIN or hey, I have cancer and wouldrlylikesummorphinenaoplz. The stem cell research thing? Ehh, we kind of always knew the scientists were going to hell anyways. Personally, I think excessive wealth should have a qualifier: If you have WORKED DAMN HARD for that wealth, AND you put back some of what you earn into the community - both local and global - you should be exempt. A lot of this stuff is more... uh... legal? than moral or religious. I know we should all have social obligations to follow the new list, but should we have a MORAL or RELIGIOUS obligation to do so? Is this taking it a little too far? Because as it stands, NO ONE in America is going to be getting into heaven anytime soon. Especially me. D:
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