Blurty for !!@#$%^&*___(all the fucking rage)___*&^%$#@!!.
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Saturday, April 5th, 2003

Subject:Everybody's talkin' 'bout blowing up the neighborhood, everybody's gonna watch it burn today.
Time:1:25 am.
Mood:weird / caffinated / tired..
Music:The Faint..
I layed on my bed for 2 hours tonight, | kicking my feet in the air, | switching cd's every 3 songs. | &if i did nothing else my entire life, | things would be perfect.

but I'm surrounded my upper-middle class America, | the suburban GAP brigade strikes again& | I can't stand this.

These perfectly manicured lawns are nothing aside from emerald chainlink fences to me. | I hate my neighbors. | with their fancy dogs | &their babies | &their oldies rock stations that filter through my open window, forcing me to retaliate | drown it out by turning up the volume on my own stereo | Bombarding my bedroom with My Chemical Romance when all I want is quiet | their unrelenting politeness. | "May I strangle you, please Miss?" |

Mais ils ne le font pas sur le but...
ils ne réalisent pas même ce qu'ils font à moi. pardonnez mon mauvais français. Je n'ai jamais fait le devolp la patience pour l'apprendre correctement.

[moving on...]

"That family is dead to me", I said. | "the" family. | Always "the" family, never "my" family. | I hate how they get under my mother's skin. | I hate how she just lets them. | I hate how she composes letter after letter, | with no real intent to send. | I hate how they could do this to her. | &to me. | &to my sister. | &to my daddy's memory. | "That family is dead to me", I said. | I meant it too. | I've never meant anything more then that in my entire life. | | "It's not his fault" | "We're not even related!" "I don't even know him! I've never met him!", I said. &that last part was a lie. | Oh, but who do I know? |

I need to get out, &maybe that's what that dream was trying to tell me.

Where I walk around carrying broken lamps and flashlights, watching as everyone takes their shots, plunging the syringe into the employee when it's my turn. Flailing my arms, struggling to show them all what they've done to this beautiful land of ours. They were oblivious, as always.

I don't know what to say except,

You don't know me as well as you'd like to think you do. Trust me.

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Blurty for !!@#$%^&*___(all the fucking rage)___*&^%$#@!!.

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