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Saturday, April 17th, 2004
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10:15 am - hey yall
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sometimes i wish i had a southern accent lol... anyway.. wuts up? havnt posted in a while, been busy or just lazy haha.... today is Through The Red Doors for all the accepted students... im supposed to give tours of Brown... but i really dont kno what iam doing or what time im doing it... i have to go check in a little while.. i dont know...christy is sleeping.. i went to bed at like midnite... everynite ive been going to bed so early cause i dont feel well n the benadryl knocks me out...allergies suck man lol... i only have like 3 weeks left of school!! i cant belive it went so fast. i cant wait to get home tho bc then me n lori are gunna be busy putting together Jess's last recital present. which is going to be so amazing. n then i get to see recital with my dd's (yay girls! luv u all). i think its going to be a really amazing recital, ive seen some of willamania and the whole ballet dance. arite. i gues i better go put myself together for the day.... byeee xoxo
current mood:  cheerful
current music: silence
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| Friday, April 2nd, 2004
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7:43 pm - ha
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ha... ha... wow... people are really funny.... and by funny i mean so irritating i want to shoot myself.....riiite....
current mood:  amused
current music: 7th heaven
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| Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
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9:03 am - hi
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hi.. im back from florida :( like u have no idea how sad this is for me. they had to seriously drag me out of the hotel n onto the plane i was so not about to leave florida voluntarily. it was so nice down there with 80 degree weather every day. Me, Mellie, Ang, n the rest of the cheerleaders just tanned on the fake beach by the pool during the day n i watched them cheer and then walked around city walk at night. they did really well too, they expected to come in dead last n they ended up 1 point away from third! yay for xtreme all starz!! (best of the best, come on yell it EAS sTaRz!!) and Suffern took first in thier division (SuFfErN SeNioRs -YeAH!!)...anyway being back here is not very happy. but wutever, u have to end vacation some time i guess. ok so thats really all i had to say... oh... and i had a dream about tussel...lets just leave it at that... (no, christy i dont want to find out! lol) - xOxO
current mood:  blah
current music: christy sleeping
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| Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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8:08 am - with this cold...
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im not really happy about the sneezing/itchy eyes/stuffy nose thing that i have going here....at all. i hope florida makes me feel better. did u hear that? i said florida! florida florida florida! in 2 days...yes only 2 days left. u could say that im ecstatic about it but that would be an understatement. i wouldnt even care where i was going like i could be going to antarctica for all i care as long as i get out of here for a couple of days. u kno how people who are on reality shows are all like "omg the emotions are so high wen ur on these shows"...well i feel like its the same thing in this dorm. and i already feel things more strongly than other people. its called passion. its not immaturity. its what makes me, me. i know alot of people dont exactly know who they are when they are 18 yrs old but i have a very strong and centered view on myself. i kno the aspects of me i like, that make me who i am..and i kno thier are aspects that i mite change. i dont need to do a lot of "discovering myself" bc ive already done alot. but one thing i definetly will not change, nor could i change if i wanted to would be my passion. i throw my entire self into people, i give them all of me. and so when i love people, i love deeply. but at the same time, wen i feel that they have hurt me or betrayed me in some way, it hurts deeply. some people might say that is dramatic, i wouldnt call it that. i dont really like trivial drama, but it doesnt upset me becuase most of the time i can see rite thru people from the begining and i expect thier drama. my passion on the other hand is just the way that i have to live my life, because i was born with it, i wouldnt say that it is drama. i would rather love people the way i do and be hurt by them then never understand the kind of love and compassion and connections that i feel and that i bring to friendships..i am also somewhat of a dicotomy (did i spell that rite?). becuase as much as i give people my all, as soon as they hurt me i pull it all back. its like once uve made a mistake, your done. ive decided im done with u and once i have decided that ill never come back. its very much all or nothing, and i dont think that ive given anyone a second chance ever in my whole life. i think maybe i need to change that, maybe i need to give some people second chances. its just that, most people cant understand the kind of hurt i feel wen i feel betrayed becuase they dont understand the kind of passion i have. and so i do my best not to be hurt more than once by one person. .... these are now things i will be thinking about for the rest of the day...fabulous... ok well i need to go get ready for class...byee
current mood:  contemplative
current music: silence (christy is sleeping...shhh)
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| Saturday, March 20th, 2004
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1:16 pm - Let The Sun Shine
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i feel enlightened, i feel spectacular, i feel like everything makes sense. i go for so long being confused about everything and then it just all falls into place and i wake up and everything makes complete sense and i know exactly how to go about all the things i was confused about. my mind and my emotions, as crazy as they are sometimes, are so fabulous wen they start working with eachother n everything makes sense. i could seriously just like be so happy today, and the funny thing is that i only got bad news today, i got no happy news, and the second i got the bad news...everything made sense. its just fascinating to me. anyway... i need to be gettin ready cause n my christyness are going to the mall with her cousin. (does evryone like "christyness"? im trying to come up with a nickname for her since i am graceface.. lol ) ok im sersiouly going to get ready. O WAIT! i have some bad news for everyone who knew me before muhlenberg.... im begining to like country music. i kno i kno, no1 in north jersey would ever consider listening to such a thing, but im really starting to like christy's country music. i acutally just asked her to play a country song for me.. i requested it!... im sorry guys, this school is chaning me all around lol. ok ... im really going now.. lol byeeee <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
current mood:  ecstatic
current music: i love you - martina mcbride
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| Friday, March 19th, 2004
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10:23 am - hiiiiii :)
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hey kids. so.. im in a btter mood today except for my feelings about the snow. i mean really, if it was going to snow at least it could have snowed enuf to have my spanish class cancelled. but no, even tho shes 900 years old and shouldnt be able to walk when its dry out let alone wen there is snow n water everywhere my stupid witch of a spanish professor made it to class. and on my way to class i got goobed on like so many times. the snow is melting at hyper speed and its coming off the trees like someone is sitting up there throwing snowballs at u. its gRoSs... good thing i dont have any more classes :) yay. i really should do sum homework but i think instead im goin to print out all my pics n do sum scrapbooking like the huge dork i am. i almost bought another scrapbook yesterady wen i went scrapbook shopping with diana so that i could make angela a scrapbook like the one i made for mooch but they didnt have refill pages n there werent enuf pages in the book :( i was sad.. it was cute n purple...anyway i can not wait till Florida, seriously. im beyond excited to be in the nice warm sun and um also to ride spiderman... ask me why that is my favorite ride at universal n i couldnt tell u. but i like want to ride it over n over n over n over again. ive come to the conclusion that i am a huge dork n ive decided to embrace it. just to let u all know. lets see..wut else...i really am not goin to maingate tonite. i wont do it. i have no desire. hopefully someone will stay with me tonite bc i dont really want to be alone. but if everyone wants to go then they should go. ill like... go see tussel if hes not busy cuase i kno hes not going. also..i need to rant a little.. did u ever have a person that just like irritates the crap out of u no matter what? like someone who bc they have annoyed u so many times, it gets to the point where their mere presence bothers u? i have one of those. and tho i really do try to be nice i have such problems being fake to people. and even being civil towards this person is like difficult for me. tussel just sent me this:
BugLinden: someones gonna knock on your door
BugLinden: and its gonna be campus police
BugLinden: and they'll say "grace furnari?"
BugLinden: and you'll say "....yes mr campus police?"
BugLinden: and they'll say "we been getting some complaints about you....about you being to sexy"
BugLinden: then he'll strip for you
lol tussel, u crack me up. arite. i guess im gunna go. maybe ill post later wen im not at maingate n the rest of the world is. lol byeee
current mood: chipper
current music: christy on the phone
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| Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
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10:38 pm - bad mood for no reason
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.make em laugh it comes so easy wen u get to the part wher ur breakin my heart hide behind ur smile all the world loves a clown. how could i even try i can never win hearing them seeing them in the state im in how could u say to me love will find away gather round all u clowns let me here u say hey uve got to hide ur love away.they say that everyone needs someone well how come now one needs me if u wonder who the lonliest creatures in the world can be its the ugly duckling, the little black sheep, and me. i thought that i was over you but its true o so true, i love u even more than i did before but darlin wut can i do for u dont love me n i will always be crying over u. raindrops fall from heaven could never wash away my misery but since were not together i look for stormy weather to hide these tears i hope ull never see n wen my cryins done ill wear a smile in the sun. i want love on my own terms after everything ive learned, me i carry to much baggae o man ive seen so much traffic so bring it on ive been bruised. why bother its gunna hurt me its gunna kill wen u desert me.
current mood:  sad
current music: why bother - weezer
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| Sunday, March 14th, 2004
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10:56 pm - and were back...
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heyhey. me n christy are sittin here watchin game show network. Greed has sucked us rite in. lol. so spring break was nice n relaxin. i spent alot of time just hangin out at home.. and with my dd's. OMG how much fun was our dd sleepover. lor,jess,lisa,tami,jill - luv u girls.. that was too mcuh fun. i miss dancing with them like so much. i went to DD class and learned 42nd street ( all 3 steps of it hahaha) and almost cried at thier ballet dance (bc it was sooo nice)..and i saw my little ones. i miss them like crazys. well i guess its back to work n stuff like that.. this entry was pointless lol
current mood: happy
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| Thursday, March 4th, 2004
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10:32 am - yay for me n christy
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and prosser is my new home next yr kids. im going to be an RA in prosser. im very excited... im a little scared.. maybe they will put me in the annex, that isnt as scary. but i will be happy anywhere they put me :) . yay for me! yay yay yay. ok.. now yay for christy. i would just like to say, that even tho im all happy about being an RA n having a single, i will miss my roomate SOOO much because she really was the most amazing roomie in the world. we got along so well n we are so close now that i can tell her like anything at all. n wenever im really sad n crying she climbs up on my bed (which is a huge effort for her since shes the bottom bunk) n makes me feel better. and she listens to all my whining. and she got me completely hooked on survivor (wait, i dont kno if i should thank her for that lol ) and anytime i need her she is there to listen, n give adivce, n read the directions of spanish book to me, and check my homework for grammatical errors, and watch tv with me, n force me to sit next to the cute newman center boy, and tell me that im not fat/i look fine/i dont need to ALWAYS wear makeup, to make me laugh, n most importantly to make this room feel like it is acutally our home. so YAY for christy bc she is that amazing and everyone should love her as much as i do. in other news i stayed up till 3 doing psych hw bc i scewed myself over last nite n went out to carabba's with linds, lauren, n will instead of doing my hw. lol. im surprisingly not tired. im just tryin to get thru this day bc tomorrow will be cake n then im home for break. woot. yes! man am i excited about that. ok i gg bc i have Education.. ill post again later.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: blinded - 3rd eye blind (christys i-tunes lol)
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| Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
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1:06 pm - bouncy bouncy bouncy
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i feel so bouncy... im wearing capri's n flip flops!! ahh spring.. i <3 it... christy said its gunna get cold n rain all week n snow next week tho! :( yUcK! but that is ok bc pretty soon ill be in Florida with the family. Im excited. esp. to see Mellie n Bean cheer at nationals. ill be so nervous for them, but i think its gunna be so cool. also i get to spend days in Universal at the Hard Rock where we went last summer. its a cool hotel, there is always rock music playing n its got like an awesome water slide. AND i get to go on all the rides at the parks n stuff! wow im such a little kid haha. but yeah, its gunna be a good time. i sorta wish it was at disney tho bc Disney is literally my favorite place in the world. i would live there if i could haha. it just makes me a happy person wen im in disney world n plus i still get all excited wen i see the princesses or mickey mouse lol. umm im hungry... im eating saltines n waiting for it to be 1:20 so we can go to lunch. i had a test in education today. it wasnt too bad. i think i did well. i like was counting down the seconds in spanish...i really really hate that class. anyway i have personality psych at 3... that is a pretty boring class most of the time too. its not so bad for the first 50 minutes but then i get all antsy n i keep lookin at my cell to see the time bc im like ready to get the hell out of there. yay i have tap tonite with my linds n maura :) yay yay... and one tree hill n american idol is on tonite! yay.. this is a good day. im in a good mood! :) smiley smiley bouncy bouncy happy :)
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Freedom - Wham!
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| Monday, March 1st, 2004
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8:41 pm - id give anything to be in your dreams....
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hey blurty readers. so... heres wuts been goin thru my head today: "why does spanish suck so freaking much? why do some people suck so much? do i suck? i hope i dont suck..... i better ask sum1 if i suck... ok i asked sum1 n he said i didnt suck... but if i dont suck then why is there a particular person who doesnt love me? well not love , but like, grace, u kno wut u mean, ur talking to urself. rite. so why doesnt he like me? well he likes me as a friend, so i guess i dont suck. but some part of me must suck bc i want him, n he doesnt want me. but u kno wut. u didnt even tell him u want him. good point self, i should tell him. NO! u cant tell him rite now. u have to wait n see how u feel n then u can tell him if u feel the same way. but wut if i dont tell him now n then i stop feeling this way. well then u shouldnt have told him in the first place. ok, but wut if i dont tell him n then sum1 else tells him n he goes with her. well then it wasnt meant to be. self, i dont like that answer, try again. well i guess u should tell him but i doubt that anyone is going to tell him in the next 2 weeks so y dont u at least wait till then n see how u feel. good point self, but why should i even wait bc he probably wont even like me, maybe i should never tell him. maybe u shouldnt. but... i dont kno. maybe i should think about it tomorrow.. ok.......u have to study. i kno. but i dont want to. i kno but u have to. i kno.. ok let me study...." and 5 minutes later the cycle starts all over. o m g. could my head be any more overwhelming? um no i dont think so. fabulous. anyway it was so nice out, i wanted to wear a skirt but i had fitness n wellness so i couldnt wear one. omg christy is wearing her math department tshirt. woah, dork alert! lol jk u little basketball slut/math dork. hmm i need to study.. i realyl do.. im never gunna get it done... ugh.. ok i better... i dont want to.... i cant make myself do anything today... GEEEEEZ.... anyway.. did u ever think that sum1 was like so perfect... n u think it like once.. n bc u thought it once u think it all the time n then eventually u think that they are like the be all n end all.... well i do.. i do it all the time... i need to be more realistic here. no1 is really that perfect.... ahhh.... he mite not be perfect but god do i want him.... ugh.. im going to study
current mood:  confused
current music: total eclipse of the heart - thanks to tussel <3
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| Sunday, February 29th, 2004
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11:39 am - :)
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just to let everyone know.. i have amazing friends here. i really do. i am like so lucky that i happened to live on this floor with these girls n im so lucky that i kno woody n tussel<3<3 (lol) bc my friends here just make me so happy. ok.. on that note.. i saw the passion of the christ yesterday... pretty intense, graphic, n brutal. we seriosuly cried the entire time, alot of the time i couldnt even look at the screen bc it was so bad. but the movie itself was really good. i think everyone should see it. its a very important movie. so after the movie we sat around being all depressed and then later we went to the hockey game and to ice skate. i seriously got around twice on the skates n decided that i was scared that i had to stop. i really would have cried. so i took my skates off n sat with woody n tussel n played with my phone. then the boys came back here with us n we just hung out. we made wigs for woody n tried to pluck his eyebrows. christy even offered me up like i was a prostitue if woody would let us pluck them. but, alas he said no. porque?, u may ask. por cause hes a jerkface. jk... then tussel played with my hair n i almost passed out bc thats how i get wen people play with my hair. christy said i looked orgasmic which is pretty similar to the way i felt. i like totally am obssessed with people playing with my hair. so yeah...anyway. i just had a fun nite..and day... and it just made me realize how much i <3 my friends. good times guys, good times
current mood: ecstatic
current music: Dont Do Me Like That - Tom Petty
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| Thursday, February 26th, 2004
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5:38 pm - good day sunshine
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it was pretty out today. like so nice that i was hyper. n i felt like skipping. i dont understand it but the sun makes me want to skip. anyway my spanish midterm kicked my ass. it was umm very difficult...fckn stupid class. i really hate it so much. ill be so happy wen this semester is over n i never have to take a language again. tussel just told christy to "go suck a fck"... i have no idea wut that means but i cant imagine tussel ever saying such a thing and therefore its really funny. im hungry.. im always hungry... and im tired.... oo survivor is on tonite yay. if they get rid of rupert ill be so sad. hes just a genuinely nice guy. i wish that everyone was genuinely nice bc the world would be so much of a better place. also, if people werent so political n worried about money then the world would be more democratic....at least thats wut i learned in education today. this was random n pointless entry... at dinner woody called christy a basketball slut... also she was totally like being a porn star rite in front of us! werent u christy? yes u were. woody n tussel are seriously the funniest people in the world. i was in like a sort of bad mood bc of the way that sum1 is acting rite now. but then i got to dinner n woody n tussel just like make me laugh so much. well not just me, im not like the only one laughing. they make everyone laugh n be smiley the girl (or boy)... (or wutever christy says cause shes a crack ho) anyway.. i guess im gunna go like be productive or sumthing....
current mood: cheerful
current music: Funky Cold Medina - Tone-Loc
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| Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
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2:15 pm - um..hi
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soo.. ive had this journal since last spring...but then i stopped writing in the summer. so today i looked at all my old entries and decided that im so not like that anymore. so i deleted them lol. anyway..this is my new journal. i can pretty much guarantee that i will not update this regularly... im a slacker like that. anyway, had a spanish midterm today. that spanish bitch is gunna screw us over. i know bc she hates me, lia, n arielle.... she really does. anyway, lately ive been thinkin alot about how i was last year n i kno that i really shouldnt have changed that much in a year but i have. im so not the same person. in good ways n bad i guess. im way more worried and anxious than i used to be. and even tho ive become alot more independent, wen im home im like more dependent then ever on my parents. im like fighting growing up with all my might. time is going to have to drag me kicking and screaming into adulthood bc im not happy about giving up childhood. ive also been thinkin about my old friends and people that i hung out with in high school. its so wierd to actually know that u spent so much time with some people and now u will never see them again... voluntarily. like who gives up thier friends? i do... i dont kno wuts wrong with me. i guess, even tho this is a very selfish kind of view, wen things become too difficult in relationships, like wen the relationships become ur life instead of being a happy addition to your life, i just walk away. i just drop the whole thing and walk away. its like im scared to ever get wrapped up in friendships. ive been there n its sort of like u define urself by ur friends. i need to define myself by things about me. not who im hanging out with. also, i got all swept up in friendships and i never stopped to realize if i was isolating myself from my family or that i was actually becoming the people i was with. i kno that there is somewhere a happy medium. i think that for the most part i have found it here at school. my life is my life. i do what i want, and i am my own person with my own personality and my friends are additional. i mean they are great, they are very important to me, and without them around i would be lonely but now i realize that i can be alone, i dont need to have friends, and i can take care of me first and do what i want and still have freidns who are there for me. i dont kno if i am making any sense to other people but i know wut im saying. with the weather so nice (except for yesterdays snow, wtf?) my mood has been so much better. and since im happy im thinkin bout other times wen i was happy. i do miss certain people that i was friends with in high school, i do miss the summer with joe n bridgette. i want that again. but i want everything. i want the realationship i have with my 3rd floor girls with all my other friends and i dont know if that is possible. theres history with eveyone else n i dont who can accept the new me. not that my personality has changed sooo much that im unrecognizable, but i certainly stand alot stronger in what I want. i am deffinetly not the girl that my high school friends and im not even so much the girl that joe n bridgette became friends with last spring. i dont know. its just stuff thats been goin tru my mind lately. nick told me the other day that he just stopped caring about drama and he just wants to have fun (those may not be his exact words but i think that was the general meaning). i like that idea. i kno that ive tried to just drop the drama with peole before and it hasnt worked. but im a lot less attatched to people outside of my family now. so maybe i can be friends with people ive had drama with before just becasue im not as attatched. maybe the new me will allow old friendships to work better..... maybe....
current mood:  crazy
current music: Hangin Tough - New Kids On The Block
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