Michelle's Blurty
 
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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in Michelle's Blurty:

    Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
    5:14 pm
    i hate you
    everybody at my school has a bam margera shirt so im always thinking of bam margera so im constantly on the hunt it sucks. all the kids at fresno are dumb really really dumb i hate them i hate mexicans i hate them soooo much im so glad im german

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: saves the day
    Friday, August 8th, 2003
    11:45 am
    crap
    bam margera is going to be on trl today yeah thats right but for some reason im not that happy about it. i guess because i know that school is coming up and i dont really have any friends except angie. angies great though so i dont know i've been with the same people since forever. what if this is the wrong choice what if i dont graduate
    what if i dont go to college what if i never figure out how to do stuff at the bank what if i never figure out car insurence what if my dad dies what am i going to do i dont know how to do any thing and im going to be 18 soon i have to go to college i have to learn this stuff i dont even know how to drive. i am such an idiot i'm going to die.
    if i didnt have my dad i would die my dad is the one getting me out of this farm town(i really like fresno but its been 16 years i need a change of scenery) anyways if anybody wants the whole story they can talk to me

    Current Mood: distressed
    Current Music: cky
    Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
    3:40 pm
    nothing
    im watching home improvement. thats about it. shooodup there once was a g-money named bobert, and he loved how he could make midgets wear pink leather suits, that was sergio im at his house and im bored. thats it.
    were playing soccer with a basketball.

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: sublime robin the hood
    Saturday, July 5th, 2003
    11:24 am
    michele is pregnant
    my whole family thinks im pregnant.(im not) my cousin michele(shes 21 and pretty and nice and she got good grades. shes perfect im the BAD michelle) got pregnant so when people started telling people they thought it was me.(thanks) so by the end of the day both my ninas and ninos, two aunts and my dad thought i was pregnant. when i told my dad michele was pregnant he was relieved. he said when he heard his heart stopped what a drama queen. but since michele got pregnant my dad decided to have the talk with me. yeah "the talk".
    nazi dad: michelle, i do want you to have kids one day just not right now. people your age change so much that you cant make a desicion like that. have you had sex before? just tell me
    me:...no
    nazi dad: okay im just saying dont change you or your lifestyle to please anybody. just be yourself and find somebody like you.
    me:...
    and then he left. i think i made him feel like a dad. and thats always nice he loves it. so now my family knows im not pregnant but im still avoiding them. its just sad when you think people know you really well but they expect the worst. thats no good. ive just been staying at friends houses but i think i have to go home today because im running out of friends.
    i stayed at heather the other day and we had talks. we were talking about after high school. what were going to do and such. its really hard to talk about it. im having lots of trouble this summer just leaving edison. im going to go to my first period and not see lance and im going to be sad.(yeah i miss lance thats soo weird) Me and heather talked about me van whit and her buying a house together and getting old in it like the golden girls. that would be grand. but after i graduate im leaving fresno. my dad hates this town and he hates the illegal imigrants and he hates the pollution. so he says after i graduate were leaving town possibly the state. that'll be nice for my dad as long as hes happy. he has nobody, no parents, no wife. so i have to stay with him. all he gots is me and my brother so there. but ill come back to fresno because i love illegal imigrants and pollution. thats grand.

    Current Mood: blah
    Current Music: all american rejects
    Friday, June 27th, 2003
    4:19 pm
    bordem
    i think that everbody changes themselves for a person a few times in their lifetime. i dont think that changing yourself for somebody is really bad thing. if you go from like good grades and no drugs to failing every class and smoking pot thats bad. i dont know whats wrong with me. i just want somebody to be pleased with me. i want somebody to be pleased that i am who i am. but i dont think that anybody is. in my opinion nobody will ever be pleased with anybody.everybody is set to imposible standards that they will never be able to meet. okay now im just being depressed. i sorta know why but then i really dont. i think i like being left in the dust while other people go and be satisfied with life. i like knowing that i could be alone for the rest of my life. im glad i have no screwed up friends at fresno and i left all that backstabbing and failure behind. it wasnt all bad mostly just satisfactory.and i dont think thats good enough. i want to do something with myself. im tired of people just say 'michelle doesnt do school work' or 'michelle is such a ho-bag she'll sleep with anything! haha im soo funny...' nobody takes me seriously nobody cares what i care about nobody feels the way i feel. god i hate that school.everything i do there i fail at and im tired of failing.

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: taking back sunday- you're so last summer
    9:31 am
    nothing to do but eat eat eat
    yeah i wonder why back in the day people thought that there was somebody that was spose to be out there for them. i think that people were just less outspoken and so when they found the best they couldve done, they just quit while they were ahead. then they grew old together and told everybody how in love they were. when its not love its respect. i dont think anybody is really in love some people just have a ton of respect for other people. thats nice. i wish i lived in the old days were people had no real opinions they just went along with everything and life was still okay. women were just spose to have babies and wash shit. cook the ocassional meal and every night she would get to snuggle with a blacksmith. i think thats what we all really want. but women cant fight for it now because that would be admitting we were wrong to want suffrage and no women want to admit they were wrong so now all women get to piss and moan about voting and taking their daughters to go get birth control when all along it was their great great great grandmothers fault for being bored and deciding she wanted to make a difference not even considering what her grandaughter would have to do years later. i could be with a blacksmith! how rad would that be. god. damn those greedy ass women! why do we always bite off more than we can chew! thank you eve thank you so much for the menstration.

    Current Mood: aggravated
    Current Music: Ramones- I wanna be sedated
    Thursday, June 26th, 2003
    11:19 pm
    okay, you know in those stupid 80's teen movies were the girl gets hurt and she crys and crys like a bitch and swears she will never get in another relationship. But then she meets this guy and everything seems okay and theyre really happy and thats the end. i always think thats how its gonna be but no. because what there not showing you after the movie has ended is the guy goes and he finds a better lady and they go and get married and vacation in the carribien and he cheats on her with his secretary but its okay because shes sleeping with the kids soccer coach. And the women is left all alone to hurt to go and find somebody that deseves her so she buys lots of cats and they call her 'cat lady snapp'. Then when i go to the grocery store i'll smell like cat piss and all the neighbors will talk behind my back. i know that will happen to me. then when the paperboy comes to collect ill start to tell him about 'the one that got away' because i was to much of a wuss to tell people how i felt. so i go around acting like a bitch but its not okay. but its not the end. because everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay it must not be the end.

    Current Mood: pessimistic
    Current Music: sublime-40 oz to freedom
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