05:25pm 04/05/2004
mood: devious
music: Some shit on the radio, not by choice might I add
Yeah I am having one of those days in which nothing is good enough. Maybe it is because I am scared to admit things to myself. And then there is Paul. I am just so unsure about that situation. It creeps me out the way he looks at me at times. And then there is the Charlie situation. Supposedly he still wants to move out with me December/January. I used to be so happy to think of the runaway plans and how life would turn out like that. I used to think I had something above everyone else in knowing it all. And then stupid Charlie has to seem so distant and maybe it is me, but thats the way it seems. I am going to do an all-nighter with him tomorrow night after Gypsy's party. I wonder how long that is going to be. I have no clue.

I got my Davey papers back and I think the teacher likes them so far. There are a few things he wants me to go in deeper, but overall it is at a B+/A- if I were to turn it all in now. Thats pretty cool I think since everyone, myself included, have been in the dark for the duration of the class. I used to love all Brits, but I think this class has changed my mind. But it must go deeper that assholes flourish in today's society. What can I say? They are everywhere. And this radio shit sucks. Someone please kill me.
Fly Away Pretty Bird   
04:53pm 31/03/2004
mood: distressed
music: Nobodies~ Marilyn Manson

For all of you who don't know, I got my AFi/wings tattoo I was promissing on Monday. I will have some pics as soon as Gypsy decides to load them off the camera. And yes, even for me, waiting sucks.

I cried like a girl!!
Naw..he started and I asked him, " Is that all?" [Laugh]
"Yep," he said. "Just have to get used to that."
"No problem. I am so betting I don't have endorphins." [Laugh]

And Charlie squeezed my hands so tight. I was wondering if he was going to take the pain or crush my hands. "Does it hurt?" I asked.
"What?" Then he looked at my hands. "Oh sorry." He loosened his grip.

Then I saw Gypsy again at school yesterday. "Did it hurt?" she asked.
"Did what hurt?"
Sarcastically she responded, "When you fell out of heaven."
"Oh no it still isn't causing me pain," I answered, both of us looking at my back. Then she smiled. I swear she was more excited about the whole thing than I was.

Now I have my wings and I can fly away..

Why is Monday happier?   
11:28am 14/03/2004
mood: accomplished
music: AFi~This Time Imperfect

So today was a time for change, and if you really know me, then you know what went down. I needed to break away, move away, and cry. I will end up hurting many..but I wonder how long it will go on before it is noticed..I'm betting that it will take awhile for any adverse effects and crying. But I don't think I will be terribly I say, you will move on and take something from me as a learning experience.

I cannot leave here i canot stay..forever haunted more than afraid..

i will miss you

today was a day of change
but I wont be missed..

09:01am 08/03/2004
mood: apathetic
music: Static Lullaby

See..I am messed up..
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 49%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 55%
Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||||| 56%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||| 65%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 68%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||| 38%
Your Conscious-Surface type is 4w5
Your Unconscious-Overall type is 5w6
Find Your inner secrets

  • intellectual
  • withdrawn
  • idealistic
  • alert
  • progressive
  • non traditional
  • future oriented

  • coercive
  • antagonistic
  • assertive
  • domineering
  • pleasure seeking
  • insensitive
  • materialistic

DAVEY!!! NOOO!! I still love you!!   
06:43pm 05/03/2004
  "We are very sorry to inform you all that, for reasons beyond their control,
A.F.I. have cancelled the remaining dates on their tour. A.F.I. singer
Davey Havok was diagnosed with a cyst on his vocal chords."
The Pharoah Weaps   
07:32am 01/03/2004
mood: blank
music: AFI

Today was a Happy Monday. Gypsy almost bought Hamtardo at the pet cute..
Then Charlie and I went over to Mcdonald's and shared a meal..aww..haha..I really hate Mcdonald's but he was starving and it is a whole hell of a lot better than Burger King..barf!
Charlie watched Cabin feaver while I read my hip hop book..its interesting, but anything you are forced to read doens't have the same sort of charm..

It rained..and I found out that Davey is in New York with Iaasc..errr..I am so scared for him..and he totally didn't take my advise..I hope he will be okay..I miss him so much..

I hate guys..and I wish I could just tell Charlie how I feel..

AFI!!! Okay I'm out..I need sleep like you wouldn't believe..

I can't believe I am this board..   
02:41pm 27/02/2004
mood: contemplative
music: AFI~ This Time Imperfect

1. First name : they call me davey
2. Middle name : julia
3. Last name : dont have one..
4. Nickname(s) : davey, cali
5. Screen names : getahobby
6. Gender : female
7. Age : 19
8. Type of Music : AFI, hardcore, rock, metal, 80's blah blah anything but country.
9. Birthdate : march 28, 1984
10. Birthplace : montana
11. Zodiac sign : aries
12. Current Location : in a nightmare waiting
13. Live with : parental units..soon charlie
14. Name of current school : university
15. Grade/Year : one million
16. Graduation date/year :never
17. GPA : hmm..idk
18. Height : 5'8.5"
19. Hair color : black with red tint
20. Highlights/dyed : i should be a natural blone..*sigh*
21. Hair length : longish
22. Eye color : gray/blue
23. Contacts/glasses : no
24. Freckles : yeah
25. Birthmark(s) : yes. on my arm..
26. Scar(s) : windshield love mark on my forehead..
27. Type(s) of clothes you wear : anything that works..tend to hav a lot of black..
28. Cologne/Perfume you wear : ck
29. Deodorant you use : um..secret.

Family Life
30. Mum's name : Colleen
31. Father's name : John
32. Their ages? : 42/56
33. Closest family member : ckoser to charlie
34. Family member you could live without : my sister
35. Last family member you've seen : my dad
36. Oldest : umm grandmother..what a bitch
37. Youngest : some cousin i should know..
38. Family member who lives the farthest away : great aunt in seattle
39. Fondest memory : so i am supposed to like them?
40. Memory you miss the most : innocence
41. Family member you wish the mafia would kill : my grandma..bye bye bitch
42. Memory you wish you had : floating feeling..
43. What you did yesterday : school and work
44. What you did so far today : school, gonna go to work
45. Last person you talked to on the phone : charlie
46. Last person you talked to online : leesha
47. Last movie you've seen : be safe anyway..
48. Last song you heard on the radio : radio sucks!
49. Last CD you played : afi
50. Last thing you said out loud : i screamed with Death of Seasons..
51. Last time you showered : this morning
52. Last book you read : Hip Hop America..damn assignments..
54. Last time you sang : right now..
55. Last time you danced : as i came into the room
56. Last thing you ate/drank : burned waffle..

Believe it or not
57. Aliens : yes
58. Angels : yes
59. Demons : yes
60. Heaven & Hell : cookie with a flier
61. God : Davey!! Screw you Hunty..he is very much real!
62. Your friends :umm..umm..*evil look* yes..

64. Best friends : Charlie
65. Last friend you talked to : Leesha..then her computer blew up..
66. Funniest : gypsy
67. Silliest : charlie
68. Loudest : gypsy on the phone
70. Stupidest : christy
71. Sweetest : charlie
72. Weirdest : megsly
73. Best at keeping secrets : maijee
74. Most hyper : me!!
75. Most annoying : me!
76. Friend you miss most : kristen
77. Friend you've known the longest : charlie, britts
78. Friend you haven't known long : Ava

Word Association
79. Bill Clinton : mtv
80. Lollipops : lick
81. Whipped Cream : yuck
82. Dreams : nightmares
83. Love : hearts
84. South Park : kyle's mom
85. Guys : *sizzle*
86. Girls : sexy
87. Death : hello again
88. Bubble gum : gah!
89. Water : intoxication
90. Ice Cream : cant eat= evil
91. Oil : car
92. Phone : speed dial
93. Food : eat or die
94. Kisses : chocolate
95. Pretzels : sticks
96. Britney Spears : whore.
97. School : *laughs*
98. Floppy : bunny!! or shawn..
99. Shoes : boots

Have you ever...
100. Been on a plane : yes
101. Cried in public : yes
102. Climbed a tree : yes
103. Gotten in a physical fight : yes
104. Drank alcohol : yes
105. Fell asleep in a movie theater : almost once
106. Driven a car : yeah
107. Been arrested : yes
108. Broken curfew : yes
109. Been pulled over when driving : not me but i have been in the car
110. [This question has been erased for your viewing pleasure] : ???
111. Met a celebrity : davey davey davey..hey..ava told me she was one..
112. Skipped school : yes
113. Went to a pro sports game : yes
114. Met the president : no
115. Been scared to get a shot : no
116. Smoked a cigarette : yes
117. Gotten a cavity : no
118. Done any drugs : yes
119. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch : never
120. Gone skinny-dipping : yes

121. Food : spaghetti noodles, braeburn apples
122. Drink : water or la croix water
123. TV show : no tv for me
124. Movie : the crow, boondock saints
125. CD : AFI!!
126. Song : anything AFI!!
127. Color : black and clear
128. Day of the week : Happy Monday
129. Month : october
132. Favorite Car : i dont really care about cars.
133. Cookie : flier??
134. Toothpaste : uh the white kind..
135. Ice Cream : dont eat it wouldnt know..
137. Candy bar : umm..100 grand..
138. TV channel : fuse
139. Radio station : .radio sucks
140. Artist/band : AFI!!
141. Shampoo/conditioner : Nutregena..
143. Website : hehe..ask me..
144. Sports to play : volleyball
145. Sports to watch : ice skating, gymnastics
146. Place : italy or london
147. Vacation spot : europe
148. Kind of candle : vanilla
149. Color eyes : deep

current mood : got my doesnt matter
current music : afi
current taste : waffle
current hair : down. and in my face
current clothes : ARMY shirt and jeans.
current annoyance : music wont go louder..
current smell : waffle and dog
current game : blurty is a game
current thing I ought to be doing : homework
current windows open : bedroom window..
current desktop picture : davey collage
current favorite artist : Davey Havok..AFI
current favorite group : AFI
current book : Hip Hop America
current CDs in stereo : AFI, Joy Division, Denis Leary, Primer 55, QOTD
current colour of toenails : clear
current refreshment : air..
current worry : work
current crush : charlie..*giggle*..
current favorite celeb : Davey damnit!! have you learned nothing??
current hate : people have I..
Smiled? : yes
Laughed? : yes
Cried? : no
Bought something? : no
Danced? : yes
Were sarcastic? : yep.
Talked to an ex? : no.
Watched your favorite movie? : no
. I..
Smoke? : no
Do drugs? : no
Have sex? : no
Sleep with stuffed animals? : no
Live in the moment? : not really
Have a dream that keeps coming back? : every once and awhile..
Play an instrument? : violin, bass guitar, a little keyboard..not even counting guitar..haha
Believe there is life on other planets? : all this for us?? HA!
Remember your first love? : yes i do thanks
Read the newspaper? : no
Have any gay or lesbian friends? : yes.
Believe in miracles? : eh..
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? : yes
Consider yourself tolerant of others? : some
Consider love a mistake? : no
Like the taste of alcohol? : not anymore..sxe!!
Have a favorite candy? : heath
Believe in astrology? : on wednesdays..
Believe in magic? : physics teacher is a magician
Believe in God? : Davey is God!
Go to church? : no
Have any pets : cat, dog, sister, dad
Do well in school? : somedays
Go to or plan to go to college? : id hope
Wear hats? : occasionally
Have any piercings? : my ears..and runnaway plans will change that..
Hate yourself? : always
Have an obsession? : yes..
Have a secret crush? : hmm..
Do they know yet? : my god i think so!
Collect anything? : music..
Have a best friend? : charlie.
Wish on stars? : umm..i want that one..*points*
Like your handwriting? : sometimes
Have any bad habits? want them?
Care about looks? : nope
Believe in witches? : *evil grin*
The Day I die..   
05:48pm 20/02/2004
Happy Deathday!
Your name:eryn
You will die on:Friday, April 20, 2029
You will die of:Ritual Sacrifice
Created by Quill
05:26pm 20/02/2004
mood: awestruck
music: six.different.ways

I got the sweetest email from my Ally. So sweet. I love that girl. I am always going through so much shit and I feel it all rain down now more than ever. I never know what to do with myself. I always feel so damn lost inside myself..

This song is good to me today:

"Six Different Ways"

This is stranger than I thought
Six different ways inside my heart
And everyone I'll keep tonight
Six different ways go deep inside

I'll tell them anything at all
I know I'll give them more and more

I'll tell them anything at all
I know I'll give the world and more
The think I'm on my hands and head
This time they're much too slow

Six sides to every lie I say
It's that American voice again
It was never quite like this before
Not one of you is the same

This is stranger than I thought
Six different ways inside my heart
And everyone I'll keep tonight
Six different ways go deep inside

Im not sure   
09:13pm 19/02/2004
  Im not sure what to say. I am so depressed once again. It is so pathetic.. *sad face*  
11:57am 24/11/2003
  Okay so I haven't written in here for ages!!! Wow. I can't believe me! So sorry guys. I have been at Xanga for awhile...not sure if I want to keep this, but I am thinking about it...  
05:41pm 04/11/2003
mood: awake
music: Paradise City
05:37pm 04/11/2003
mood: Murph
music: AFI~"This Celluloid Dream"
I figured I never put this in there...

"This Celluloid Dream"

Calling tears from deep inside, oh, you're so exquisite
And in the mirror, all midnight eyes
Oh, if I could remain, but it's just a visit
All midnight eyes read "vacancy"
Twisted, twisting

To the lovely dancing lights, I begged, "May I cut in?"
But they never stopped playing "their song"
Of a joyous song the sing, I've heard whispers
On a freezing note, I resonate

Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end
Just like a memory, it twists me
Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end
Twist... twisting me

You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
Onto the melting boy, and melt away
You light as gently, you're so cinematic
Bathed in your radiance, I melt

In the glitter, in the dark, sunk into velvet
Praying this will never end
In the shadow of a star, in static pallor
I realized I never began

Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end
Just like a memory, it twists me
Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end
Twist... twisting me

You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
Onto the melting boy, and melt away
You light as gently, you're so cinematic
Bathed in your radiance, I melt

All the colours upon leaving, all will turn to grey
All the colours upon leaving, all will turn to grey
(All grey) All the colours (All grey) upon leaving
(All grey) all will turn to grey
(All grey) All the colours (All grey) upon leaving
(All grey) all will turn to grey... grey...

You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
Onto the melting boy, and melt away
You light as gently, you're so cinematic
Bathed in your radiance

You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
You land as lightly as the new snow, and melt away
You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
Bathed in your radiance, I melt
08:07pm 30/10/2003
mood: cynical
music: AFI~ Death of Seasons
So today I was asked if I was a witch. It never ends. Just because I am labeled goth, I am now being labeled a witch as well.

Hail Lord Havok!!!
     Read 1 - Post
08:32am 29/10/2003
mood: annoyed
music: Kidney Thieves
This one dude off ebay is such a jerk. He was so sure of himself on an item, and then I won it. Ha. Then he sends me an email of the same thing that he got for about a dollar. What a jerk. I could do without that. But I was trying to buy from the same person cause I'd get better shipping on my behalf with the other items I won.

Gurgle gurgle...damn time   
08:53pm 28/10/2003
mood: indescribable
music: AFI~ Total Immortal
So yeah it has been awhile. Oui oui.

So I went to a haunted house awhile ago. Not too scary. I think we scared the people.

Work was stupid as usual. I had to close with the bitch Michelle. I just want to know what keeps her going. She is heartless thats for sure. Wanna outrace me bitch?? Oh sorry I do have to turn here. Just remember high school. Even the big losers had at least one friend. But not you. Were you too good for people, or were they too good for you? This I still wonder. I know you and I didn't get along- even then! Now that you are a huge bitch you expect me to worship the ground you walk upon. What gives??

In other news I think I solved the problem to my sound problem. Just a matter of downloading a program. So awesome! I could not have done it with out Vang. I seem so stupid when it comes to technology, even though I am better than the "average" person. Enough said.

I'm gonna add a little more Davey to these posts!!!

Holy Macaroni   
10:34am 21/10/2003
mood: awake
music: AFI~ Girl's Not Grey

Wow so I've done a lot since I updated this. Well yeah lets just say I worked all Friday and Saturday. Friday night the building across the street almost burnt down. This guy randomly looks up and tells me to look. I yelled Holy Christ and told everyone else to look. Nobody believed until I almost threatened them. Then they all went outside and were mesmerized by the flames. So great.
The next day my car wouldn't start cause I forgot to count gears and that prevented it from starting. Wow. So then Charlie came and got me later that night since we were going to meet up anyway. He got there late bacause a car that looked exactly like the Fink's followed him creepy movie style. But the did my ditch trick and lost her. So then we drove around for awhile and talked like usual.
The next day we went to a haunted house that took us two hours to drive to and find. Yeah we took a lot of wrong turns and all but it was meant to be because we saw Amish carriages passing each other in the no-passing zone. So completely funny.
We got there and we were the scarriest people there. Later we went to see Ronda because it was her last night before she left. It was fun. But Ronda works out by the mall, so no avail. I can go out and visit anytime. So that is cool. And she can get me a discount on clothes too. Awesome.

Yesterday was Happy Monday. Charlie and I went out to the airport to fill out some documents and his stalker guy was watching everything we did. Creepin a bit!! We rented Boondock Saints, like I don't own it, and his mom made meatloaf. Umm...we caused chaos and planned for next week.

I think thats all that happened, but I am always wrong.

I also hate people on ebay. Half of them should just go away.

I want my keyboard!!!!!

03:32pm 16/10/2003
mood: hating
music: AFI~ The Leaving Song Part II (Calming down with it)

I really cannot wait for Charlie to come and visit me tonight. At the moment, I really need someone to talk to badly.

This sucks. It's that time in the semester where I start to hate everyone and all my classes.
I don't want to go back to my poetry class ever again. The people are so stupid. They hated this one guy Dan's poems because nobody came up behind them with a board and whacked um good. I hate people.

I need someone to save me from this one. Wish I was out of the country.

hybrid page   
10:04am 16/10/2003
mood: bouncy
music: Kittie~ Brackish

1: Favorite band/Singer(s)/Composer? AFI, Korn, Slipknot, Letters to Cleo
2: Music you couldn't live without? AFI ( The Leaving Song Part II)
3: Kind of music that you wouldn't miss if it disappeared completely? country...why is is called music??
4: About how many CDs do you own? well my cds book has 200 something and then there are the ones that don't fit, and...
5: How many CDs can your stereo hold at a time? 5
6: Do you have a discman? Yes.
7: What CDs could you listen to for hours? So many of them, Fallen (Evanescence), Sing the Sorrow (AFI), and Wholesale Meats and Fish (Letters to Cleo)


8: Britney Spears? Big Zero
9: Bon Jovi? None
10: Eminem? 1 and a burn from Claire
11: Incubus? 3
12: Blink 182? 2
13: Backstreet Boys? Big Zero
14: N'Sync? Even bigger zero
15: Linkin Park? 2 maybe??
16: Destiny's Child? 1 I took dance class
17: Korn? OMG Lemme see... Korn, Life is Peachy, Follow the Leader, Issues, Untouchables, Tomb Radier Single and Hopefully their new one when it comes out...I LOVE Jon Davis!!!!!!
18: Red Hot Chilli Peppers? I would like some, but i don't think I do
19: Christina Aguliera? Zero
20: Mariah Carey? again and one of the only things my mom will listen to in the car on road out gospel music
21: The Offspring? ...2
22: System Of A Down? 2... yet.


23: Goo Goo Dolls? Baby's Black Balloon Makes Her Fly...
24: Creed? She wears a Coat of Color Loved by some, feared by others, she's immortalized in young men's eyes
25: Disturbed: C'mon get down with the sickness AND I'm just holding on to let them know, whats given to me given to to hide behind the mask this time and try to believe
26: The Bloodhound Gang? You and me baby ain't nothing but mamals...hey did they do smooth criminal too?? Well the remake anyhoo??
27: Bon Jovi? "IT'S MY LIFE!!!"
28: Metallica? For whom the bell tolls AND St. Anger
29: Smile Empty Soul: No one gives a shit, as long as we smile
30: Mary J Blige? never!!!!!!! why me??? Kan we go back to Korn???? *drools*
31: Eminem? No tower too high, no plane I cant learn how to fly
32: AFI: Break down, and cease the fealing, burn now, what once was breathing. reach out and you may take my heart away...So what befalls the flawless??


Bands: AFI, Korn, Disturbed, Kittie, Rob Zombie, Manson, Letters to Cleo, Garbage, Static-X, Evanescence

33: Are you a male or female? You thought I was a little mouse

34: Describe yourself? Sweet dreams are made of these. Who am I to disagee?

35: How do you feel about yourself? Don't waste your touch, you wont find anything. Or were you sent to save me??

36: Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend? I think I'd rather crucify then learn

37: Describe your best friend? how can you see into my eyes, like open doors? Leading you down into my core where i've become so numb

38: What would you rather be doing? Bash my face into a mirror, I wont have to see the pain

39: Describe where you live? I'm the rock of Gibralter AND Cold were so cold, we are...AND decide to let me in

40: Share a few words of wisdom? I can never die. Dig through the ditches and burn through the witches I slam in the back of my Dragula.

Just for Lyn-z   
09:37am 16/10/2003

You such a cold and pathetic bitch. You never have anything nice to say and you are always such a jerk! Okay better???

Just seeing if you still read.

And just so you know, you are one of the "cool" people in school you always hope to be. Who would explain what I think of shitty poems better than you??

Love yah Lynz!!