|The dreamer chapter 1
||[02 Aug 2007|08:15pm]
Today I thought I would share a chapter of a story I am writing. Enjoy!
Have you ever wondered if your dreams were real? I know I have. Or maybe I wished that some of them were. The ones where I was happy, where he was. The dreams that showed me with my true love. Or what I imagined him to be. Tall, dark hair that falls to the shoulders in velvety ripples. Fair skin, striking blue eyes. Soft rose lips, slender hands and slender build. Every time I dreamed of him I could feel his touch on my skin long after I had awoke. Sometimes I would lay there and relive the dream in my mind. The way he would run his hands over my body. Every silky caress burned into my skin like a brand. Every kiss, every whisper. So painfully real. Why couldn’t he be real? Why couldn’t I find him? What must I do to feel this past my dreams? In life? As before there is no one to answer me. Only the memories of my dream. Memories of a lover I had yet to meet. I live for my dreams, for the moment of happiness that they afford. Life holds no splendor nor enchantment anymore. When the alarm rings it is a monster calling to me. Calling me back to a life where I am nothing. Loved by no one, and loving no one. To a bleak place of desolation.
Groaning I get up and get ready to face the day. Another day of the same old routine. The daily drudge of work and life, hours until I am back where I feel at home. Hours until I can be back with my dreams. Go back to him. Tears fall down my face. This is not the life I imagined when I was a child. I always thought that when I was grown up that I would find my prince. My truest love, not The man I have settled for, just as I know he has settled for me. I want to fall into my dreams and never wake again.
The morning was quite and gloomy. The sound of rain falling surrounded the house with a soft soothing sound. The kind that makes you want to lay in bed and think. Pulling the covers up closer to her chin Elizabeth Mckenna opened her eyes and glanced at the alarm. One minute to six. When the alarm was supposed to go off. Why do I even bother to set the alarm she wonders. I always end up waking up before it goes off. Shutting the alarm off she slips out of bed and kisses her fiance on the shoulder wondering if she is really happy with the way things are, was she sure she wanted to marry him? Grabbing a thick white towl, and a thick terry cloth robe, she walked into the bathroom flipping the light on, then turns on the shower waiting for it to warm testing it with her hand untill she is satisfied. Stepping inside letting the warm water cascade over her she relaxes and contempulates the dream. Why do I keep having this dream? Everytime I have it, its so real, as if its actually happening. But its just a dream isnt it? If it is why the hell do I keep having it? Why do I long for the man in my dreams? I thought I was happy with Allen. Turning to face the water she lets the stream hit her full in the face enjoying the way the droplets of water feel hitting her skin, as if they are cleansing her. Washing away the dream and the feelings it provoked. Every night it was the same thing. The same dream, the same man, and the same feelings. When would it end? She knew he wasnt real. How could he be? It was just a dream. Still I want it to be real, I want him to be real.
The dream always started the same way. She was in a beautiful castle. Surrounded by beautiful men and wemon. All of whom were dressed in what she thought was rennisance clothing. The wemon in long beautiful off the shoulder gowns, thier hair done up in ringlets. The men not to be outdone in velvet coats and fitted pants. Classical music is playing and there are couples dancing on the floor. Watching the crowd she would catch a glimps of a man coming twords her. He had long black hair, midnight blue eyes, pale skin, and a slender build. She was always breathless as she watched the way he walked. Feral like a cat, but oh so seductive. There was a aura of danger about him that she found irresitable. Suddenly he would be in front of her. "May I have the privlage of your company for a walk in the garden Lady Elizabeth?" He would ask. When she accepted he would proffer an arm, and they would go out to the garden. As they walked she would notice that there was a beautiful full moon and remark how lovely it was. Finding a secluded place he would slip his arms around her from behind and then tease her neck with kisses, and lightly bite down so all she felt was a prick. Leaning back into him she would feel a strange sort of pleasure. A short while later, they would walk back it would not due for someone to notice they were missing, before they went he would say, no matter where you are I will find you. It was then that she woke up. Feeling as if he were still holding her, hearing his voice as if he had spoken it just now and was next to her. How could a dream be so real?
Stepping out of the shower she wrapped a towl around her thick reddish brown hair and looked at herself in a the fogged mirror inspecting her face. She supposed she had a beautiful face,heat shaped clear skinned, arched eyebrows that she rarely had to pluck, clear bluegrey eyes, and full lips. Many remarked that she had such a beautiful face. That she would be stunning if she just lost the weight. Slipping on her thick robe, she walked out to the closet to get ready for the day. Not much was going on she worked from home as a webdesigner, and at the moment was totally caught up. So other then lunch that day with Natalie she was pretty much free to do what she wanted. Pulling out her favorite pair of jeans, and a black top she slipped them over her curvacious body smothing the top over her stoumach where it bunched. Grabbing her favorite pair of stripy knee socks she slipped them on and headed to the kitched to make breakfast. As she was cooking the eggs she heard Allen stirr, then walk into the bathroom and start the shower. Breakfast would be done in time for him to eat and head off to work. They would have dinner that night if he didnt have to work late. Sometimes she wondered. Pushing that from her mind she finished getting breakfast ready and set the table.
* * * * * * * * *
Stripping himself out of the tight latex pants, and satin shirt from the nights festivities Jeffory Bathory got ready to sleep the day away. The night was his friend, the daylight an enemy and had been thus for many years. The club was doing well. In just a short time Jayded Desires had become popular with the D/s crowd becuase of its live BDSM shows and its more taboo Caberte shows that featured Vampires, and thier willing donors. Who would have thought so many would be into the darker more extream side of D/s. He doubted many that came however actually had the guts to try it. They were merely voyers who got off on watching others pain, and then went home to the wife, and kids to pretend they were normal. Ha some life denying your very existance. He curled a lip up in disdain. Foolish mortals, so many do not allow themselves to see what they truly were, or allowed themselves to be. Pulling his long black hair up in a ponytail he closed his eyes and thought about her. Elizabeth. I will find you, I will be with you again. No matter what you look like, or where you are I will find you and make you mine. He wondered if he haunted her dreams as she did his. For many lifetimes he had searched for her. Many just catching a glimps but not being able to make contact. This time he would find her and he would be with her. She would join him eternally. He would not give in this time. Nothing would stop him. Nothing. He had denied himself too many times, he would not do it again. Allowing the darkness to envelop him he slept.
* * * * * * * * *
Allen Minear could smell breakfast as soon as he stepped out of the shower. His mind however were on other things. Mainly his secret lover Brian Cole. Wracking his brain for an excuse to stay at work late so he could see him so far was appearing to be futile. When would he stop living a lie and come out as gay? When would he have the courage. Most likely never. He was sure Elizabeth suspected but didnt want to know. Thier sex life was shit. He just couldn't get it up for her anymore. It wasnt her fault. She is a beautiful woman. God only knows. It was his. He worried that one day it would all come crashing down around him. What would he do if anyone ever found out? He could lose his job, his outer crickle and his whole life. None of his friends would understand. Not even his own family. God only knows what Brian would do should it come out. He was almost sure that all accustations would be denied and the relationshiop would be over. He had no idea what he would do then. Elizabeth wasn't happy that he knew. He wondered if he should just end it. Move out, be single again. They would both be a lot happier. Yes thats what I need to do. I will tell her tonight. He had this same converstion with himself every morning. He knew he wouldnt do it. It was just how it was. Cursing himself for being such a weak fool he finished getting dressed and went into the kitchen.
"Mmm that smells wonderfull honey" Kissing Elizabeth on the cheek he grabbed a peice of bacon off the plate she was holding. "Just like I like it. Gotta jett hon I will be late for work if I don't" Grabbing his briefcase he hurried to the door leaving Elizabeth to clean everything up.
"Fuck you." She muttered. Of course he wanted to get to work early. Most likely to see the boyfriend he thought she didn't know about. Elizabeth had always suspected that he was gay. Just didn't have the proof untill her bestfriend Natalie had told her that she had seen Allen and another man kissing deeply. Surprisingly she wasn't upset. Part of why she was thinking about leaving. Why be with someone she knew didn't love her back. I don't want to be anyones cover. Ever. What the hell she decided. I am going to go out to eat. Leaving the breakfast dishes for later, and grabbing the paper off the stoop as she walked out she headed to the park and her favorite bagle shop. The few blocks to Brugers Bagles were lined with lovely flowers and various lawn decorations. The duplex she lived in with Allen was in the swanky part of town as she liked to call it. All the wemon were the happy little house wives who gardened and lunched with friends. It wasnt all bad she supposed. The flowers were lovely. Roses seemed to be the in flower this year. Her favorites were Mrs. Hendersons maidens blush roses. Stooping down to smell them she smiled. I will pick some up from the florist on the way home from lunch she thought. It would be nice to have something so beautiful in the house. Straightening she walked the rest of the short distance to the bagles shop. Walking in she was glad that the place was mostly empty. It can get pretty noisy in the morning with the usual breakfast crowd. She needed the quiteness. Ordering her favorite bagle and a coffee she settled down and pulled out the classifeds. Lets see if there are any good apartments she decided. She was going to tell natalie today at lunch that she was moving. She wanted to wait to tell Allen untill everything was set up. He would flip, she was sure. I won't stay with someone I am not happy with, he didnt even notice I took my ring off three days ago. To wrapped up in his own bullshit she supposed. I doubt he even rembers my birthday is this month. In two weeks to be exact. She hoped to have found a place and be moved by then. It would be fun to hold a housewarming/birthday party in one. Fun that was something she despreatly needed. Opening the classifeds she settled in to look for an apt. Halfway down the second page she saw it.
2 bedroom apt. Fully Furnished, great view, ready for move in today.
That sounds perfect she though. Writing down the adress she got up and walked home to grab her cell, and call the landlord. Lucky for her she was able to get an apointment about 2pm. Maybe Natalie will go with me. Hmmm. Checking her watch she saw that she had an hour before lunch. Might as well go get some work done. Setteling in front of her computer she pulled up her latest project and got started.
* * * * * * * * *
"Sorry I am late! The time got away from me!" Slipping her slender body into the chair across from Elizabeth, Kimberly Stamps grabbed a menu and tried to decide what she wanted.
"Its ok hon, I know how it is. How are you holding up? Have you heard from Jim?" Leaning forward Elizabeth put a hand over Natalies slender one. "I am always here for you, you know that right?" Slouching down Natalie chewed on her lower lip.
"I'm pregant." A tear leaked out of her eye, whiping it she looked over at her best friend, and tried to keep from cying. She hated crying in a public place. "I found out this morning. I haven't told Jim yet, I am not even sure he would want to know." Pulling a scrunchi off her left wrist Kimberly pulled her long red hair back in a mess bun, and tugged on her tee-shirt idly.
"Wow. Thats great isnt it? I know you have always wanted kids."
"Yes but not like this, not like my mom." Kimberly's mom had been a single mother. Her father left after finding out that she was pregnant with Kimberly. " I haven't told her either. She would just tell me that I deserve it and rub it in my face.Mom never liked Jiml. She was right, damn it! I hate admitting that." Elizabeth squeezed her hand.
"You won't have to do it alone. I am leaving Allen, and I am looking for a roomate. What do you think? Want to move in with me? I have an apointment to look at a two bedroom." Smiling at Kimberly she reminded her what a blast they had when they were roomies in collage. " Come on it will be just like old times. Well mostly and you won't have to raise the little one on your own. Please say yes." Kimberly didnt have to even think twice about it.
"Really?" Elizabeth beamed.
"Really. Kimberly nodded. "It will be a fresh start for both of us." Now lets order! They both had the usual as they called it, big cheese burgers and fries. It was thier treat to themselves when they got together for lunch. As they waited for the food to arrive, they chatted about what Elizabeth was going to tell Allen, and if Kimberly was going to tell Jim that she was pregnant.
"I am kinda scared now that I made my mind up to leave." Before Kimberly had a chance to answer the waitress brought out thier food and set it down. As soon as she had left Elizabeth continued. "I know he is gay. However I don't think he has any idea that I know. After you saw him kissing another man I followed him."
"You did what?" Kimberly laughed "I can't belive you had the guts to do that!" Nibbling on a fry Elizabeth sighed.
"Yeah me either, but you won't belive who I found him kissing." Raising her eyebrows questionly Kimberly sank her teeth into her burger.
"Oh god this is heaven." She moan around a mouthfull. "So do tell who was it?"
" Are you serious?" Kimberly almost choked on her burger. "The attorney?"
"Isnt he married?" Elizabeth laughed bitterly
" Yes, but to my understanding from a few rumors, he and his wife have and 'understanding'. She gets the prestige of being married to a attorney, and he gets the cover he needs. I am guessing Allen thought he had that with me."
"Yeah I bet. Thats almost as bad as what Jim did." Setting down her burger Kimberly sighed. " He left me for my sister."
"What? Brianna?" Elizabeth looked shocked. "What was she thinking?"
"Its not the first time the twit has done this. She has this thing for sleeping with my boyfriends. Only this time it was my husband. He asked for a divorce. They want to get married. Thats why I haven't told him I am pregant. Supposedly she is too." Setting down the fry she was currently chewing on Elizabeth reached out and stoked the side of her best friends face. It was somthing they had done since childhood.
"I'm sorry honey." To change the subject Elizabeth decided to finally tell Kimberly that the dream was back. In the past Kimberly had dragged her to pyschics about it but none of them turned out to be the real deal. They still had no idea what it ment. Only that it was signifigant.
"I just have this feeling that I am going to meet him soon. You know?"
"Yeah I do." Kimberly smiled, well if you do maybe he has a brother? They giggled together about that. They had always said when they were kids they were going to find a perfect man and hope he had a brother for the other one. So far they hadn't found him but hell who knows.
" So what are we going to do for your birthday?" Elizabeth glanced at her watch. "Mmmm not sure I thought we would check out a new club I heard about. I've been meaning to go but Allen never wanted to. You know how he is. Since I am soon to be single I figure what the hell."
" Hmm sounds interesting whats the name?"
" Jayded Desires" Raising an eyebrow Natalie swallowed her mouthfull of tamato.
" You know thats a D/s club right? The owner is reputed to be a Vampire." Neither of them had been there, but Kimberly had heard about at work. Many of the girls at the law office she worked as a secretary were freaks as she affectionatly termed it.
"Hmm I had not heard that but yes I know its a D/s club. I have heard its rather interesting. Though no one will tell me why. Please tell me you don't belive in vampires." Glancing at Kimberly she winked and stuck her tounge out.
" Brat. You know I do." As long as Elizabeth had known Kimberly that was the one thing they dissagreed on. Vampires, magic and whatnot were not real. She belived in spirtis, and ghosts, but not much else. Glancing at her watch again she noticed it was time to go.
"Ok girly lets go look at this apartment. I am eager to start over. It will be like a whole new life."
* * * * * * * * *
The apartment was exactly what they were looking for. Spacious, quite, in a safe neighborhood and a 15 minute drive from work. The walls needed a little paint, and some decorations but the furniture was nice enough, and it would be a quick move. There was even a small room they could use as a Nursery for the baby. Elizabeth loved the yellow trim on the windows in the kitchen. It somehow made things cheerfull homey. The main bedroom was painted in a cool lavender. Elizabeths favorite color, and the smaller bedroom was done in the same colors for the walls but had a more impersonal feel to it, as if it were a guest room that had not been used in a while.
"What happened to the previous tenant?" Natalie asked the landlord. He was a short, squat man of about 50 with salt and pepper hair, and a face so lined with wrinkls she was sure he had seen much in his life.
"Dunno, she went out one day and never came back. Just left her stuff here. No family that I know of so after she didnt come back for three months I decided to rent it out. Shame though, nice girl. I liked her always paid her rent on time." Shrugging he glanced at his watch. "So are you going to take it or not? I've got things to do. I can't stand around her all day." Elizabeth glanced over and Natalie who nodded.
"We'll take it. Its 400 a month all utitlites right Mr.?" She reached into her wallet and pulle out first and last months rent.
"Donvan Cain" Handing it to him she thanked him and waited untill she heard his footsteps fade before pulling Natalie to her and hugging her hard.
" We did it! We found a place!" Suddenly it hit both of them. Finding this place made things all the more real. No second thoughts, no ifs, no backing out. Elizabeth was going to leave Allen and Kimberly was going to put Jim out of her life. Such a sobering thought dulled the joy of the new place slightly. It would be a whole new life. " So Kimmie." Elizabeth asked falling back on a pet name from childhood. " Shall we start moving this weekend?" Hugging her back tightly Kimberly answered after a moment.
"Yes Bethery this weekend." They walked back to thier cars without saying much beyond a goodbye, and I will call you when I get home. Pulling out her car keys Elizabeth unlocked the door of her new Mustang. She loved this car, one of those spur of the moment descions that usually got her in trouble, but this one. Well this one was special. For some reason she was drawn to it. She ran a hand over the leather interior and slipped in starting the engine. How will she tell Allen she was going to leave. Elizabeth grimiced at the thought of the last time she tried to leave. He had begged her to stay. Told her that he loved her and couldn't live without her. Stupidly she belived him. All this time she had just been a cover. She had just been a way to keep everyone from knowing he was gay. It should hurt. And maybe it did but she didn't feel it, not yet at least. Sighing she considered not telling him. Allen had a "Business Trip" coming up this weekend, or rather he claimed he did. She had checked. He didn't. She knew he was going to spend it with his lover. She could easily pack up her clothes, and her few knicknacks and leave. Elizabeth doubted he would even notice.Yes she decided it would just be easier to move and then tell him later, it would save her the hassle of a huge scene. Pulling into the driveway she glanced at the clock on the dashboard. Damn it, it was time to go start dinner. If Allen even came home.
There was one message on the machine when she walked into the hall. Elizabeth already knew who it would be from. Pressing play she heard Allen's rich baratone voice telling her that he would be in late. That he had a client to meet up with and the meeting would most likely go over. So don't wait up for him. Cursing herself for even hoping he would come home he never did. It was always some excuse for another. Fuck it she decided. I am going to go out. Walking into the bedroom she pulled open the closet and persused her clubwear. What do you wear to a fetish club? One of the gals she used to work with had mentioned this newer club that was supposed to be the hottest club in Omaha which to tell you the truth wasn't usually saying much. However it was from all the rumors a very underground club. One of those you found out from a friend, who knew a friend type deal. That usually seemed to be the case with the more darker fetish stuff. Grabbing a Black button up shirt, she reached into a drawer and pulled out her custom underbust corset. Before Elizabeth had met Allen, she had been into the D/s scene very heavily. Meeting Allen had changed all that, he was the first man to ever get her to be vanilla as the term was. Now that she was ending it she figured what the hell. I want to live a little. Unhooking the front busk, she slipped it around her waist thankfull that it still fit after all these years, and laced up the back as tight as she could get it.Then slipped on a long velvet skirt with a thigh high slit on either side. She finished the outfit by slipping on a pair of redlace topped thigh highs, and unbottoned the top three buttons of her black blouse exposing her ample cleavage, then pulled on what she termed her shit kickers. They were a a pair of knee high boots, that had a mulitude of strapes up and down it that went around the leg that she had picked up a few weeks ago at one of her favorite stores Hot topic. Making sure she was satisfied with how it looked, she added some black eyeshadow on her upper lid, with some black eyeliner rimming her usually blue gray eyes making them appear to be a jade green. Turning around she rummaged in her purse that had been tossed on the bed as she had walked into the bedroom and grabbed her favorite lipgloss and appliying it to her already lush mouth making it appear to be even more kissable. Her hair didnt need to be styled as the messy look suited her. Examining herself in the mirror again she though. I look fantastic. Man she missed looking like this, and for the first time in a while she felt comfterable in her own skin.