Blurty for Go†hika.
|Saturday, October 4th, 2003|
Came back early from Andrew's due to a lot of shit which I wont bother explaining in detail.
*My arm is burnt.
*My grandad is "dying".
*I felt really sick.
*Stuff I don't want to talk about.
So here I am. I have been told I was missed..however will people cope if I leave AOHELL for good? hmm...
Whats happened to Harrys journal?..someone explain please..
Sam is a ..well who knows what she/he/it is.
My ex is beyond a joke, and should die in a gutter somewhere.
Jord text me, he is back in the UK, does'nt want to see me..well for fucks sake, thankyou so much, my best friend does'nt love me no more.
College sucks, I long to leave, to get a job and move into a place on my own. [it will happen.]
Been to hossie bout me arm, its bad and I should of went sooner, blar and Im not eating properly..blar..
BLAR FUCKING BLAR,
drink is not good, dont drink do drugs lololololol
Sorry that was bad.
I'm a bit pissed off, people should accept others as they are, and if they dont like them they should fuck off.
I wont bother saying how I feel, it will piss people off.
|Tuesday, September 30th, 2003|
I have majorly dry skin..its all flakey and manky and yeah minging, just like me really :D
Today has been..umm well yes. I got up at 10 ish, my aunty came over for a few cups of coffee and a natter with my mum..Ooooo the things I find out when I earwig ;)
Then me and my mum took my aunty to B&Q..how exciting! Although my aunty did buy me a plant.."Tillandsia" I wanted an orchid, but I have no where to put one..[I seriously need to move out.] Then we went up my aunty's for a little bit, then along the West Road to the bank..the joy!!! [yes I am a sarcastic bitch] Waited in a massive line, to find out my mum could of posted the freaking money. And I had to carry my plant round with me..I got some dodgey looks, but maybe people were just looking at my face? Who knows..
So I did'nt go to College, and if I never see College again it will be way to soon. [I could also say that for some bints I know.]
My aunty said my room was "very nice" and she was shocked..*lol*
I have become a total cleaning freak, my room is spotless, but I refuse to clean up everyone elses mess, why the hell should I? [I don't like cleaning up other peoples mess, I had enough of cleaning up after Jord..who still wont speak to me :/ I wonder why...]
I posted my letter to Liam, finally...I keep forgetting to post things, I'm quite useless really...
I was watching Tony Blair on tv before, what a wanker. People don't realise I am into politics, but sadly I am..*sigh* I'm highly boring really you know...I wont even bore you with my convo's last night..It would probabaly scare you all how worked up I get about politics..it scares me sometimes..*lol*
Did'nt get much sleep last night, was up late watching "28 Days Later" and "The Silence Of The Lambs" [Long time since I watched that movie!]..I might watch "IT" tonight..it scared me shitless when I first watched it..Okay I was only about 7 and did watch it at my cousin's house, who was and is a little shit.
Bob's funeral was a week ago today, it went well according to my Aunty, Thomas was there aswell [My step cousin] and he had a massive arguement with my uncle..which did'nt suprise me really...My dad's family are nothing to be proud of at all..
Anyway College tomorrow, if I can be arsed with the whole agro...Nothing else worth saying..
[False kindness and concern is of no use to me, I have seen enough of it, to see right through it.]
|Monday, September 29th, 2003|
1.IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE ?
Somewhere quiet, by itself, maybe on an island, but cold, so that when I looked out the window, or went outisde all I could see was the ocean :D And I could snuggle up in the Winter next to an open fire..
2. YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING.
Flared Cords I think..
3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?
Taproot - Welcome.
5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Inside my head.
6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
With people I feel uncomfortable around..
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED
Neck and Back.
8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT: STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
Without a doubt..Mind.
9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
Err, what is the morning? *lol*
10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
Ignorance, Arrogance, People thinking they are better than me.
12.IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Can actually play a few..would love to play drums though..
13. FAVORITE COLOUR?
14.WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SEDAN?
15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
16.FAVOURITE CHILDRENS MOVIE?
So many..The Nightmare Before Christmas wins by far, but is that really a childrens movie?
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
18. WHAT' S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORES?
Cleaning up after everyone else, it is'nt fair really..
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
The power to make everyone around me happy..
20. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
21. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
I can juggle life..I have to..
22. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
23. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Everyday is the same..
24. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR??
What car? I dont drive..
WHICH DO YOU PREFER, FISH OR MEAT?
26. IS THERE ANYONE ELSE BESIDES THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH, YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH?
27. IF THERE WAS ONE THING YOU COULD DO OR BE IN LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO OR BE?
I would just be the same little old me, no point in wishing I could change, because I can't.
I went to Andrew's on saturday, was..umm..well..yeah, busy and I was pissed off all weekend for reasons I won't bother explaining. Was lovely seeing Andrew though. Came home yesterday to my lovely painted room :) Which is now even nicer, I have put all my posters and pics and stuff up, cleaned everything..only took 6 freaking hours..Oh yeah I did'nt go to College...I will go tomorrow to get my work..woohoo..exciting.
I see Andrew on Thursday, it only seems a million years away..
I'm going to go see my aunty tomorrow..I love my aunty she is lovely, so kind and such a dafty, I like gossiping with her :D I'm also going to see the dude about College and jobs and stuff...Needs to be done :/
Then Wed, I go to stinky College, then out on the piss! :D Which should be cool..
Fee and Sarah *W O W* You pair of bitches!!! *lmfao*
What the fuck was all the shite in Harrys journal about me?..It confuses me you know..
Nothing else much to say....
[I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid that my life won't work that way.]
|Friday, September 26th, 2003|
Afternoon, I need a strong drink!!!
Sarah and Fee...WOW!!!!!!!!!!! *lmfao* You know I was at the doc's today, and burst out laughing when I heard someone say wow...fucks sake, they must have thought I was a crackerjack!!
Doc's an asshead...I need more sleep, well I never would of goddamn guessed [sarcastic] I also need to talk to the consultant about "things"...haha..like that will happen. [idiots]
Got taproots album today, and a couple of movies, oh yeah and a new top...I did'nt actually get them, I sent my mum for them, I really could'nt be arsed, I felt so weak and tired. :/ oO*Maybe I am dying?*
My Rammstein poster came today!! :D oooooh was all nicely wrapped up and in a tube!! Dad's painting my room tomorrow, so I will have to take all my posters, and piccies down, then put them all back up..*GRR* Although my room will be bootiful when painted!! :D I just need a new wardrobe. [..hmm..maybe with birthday money..]
Can't wait to see Andrew :D
Nowt much else to say, apart from :-
Sam is a sad fuck, but I will tell you what I've had some laugh's these past few days!!
[Believe In Angels.]
|Thursday, September 25th, 2003|
Date: 9/24/03 10:57:28 PM GMT Daylight Time
To: PSyChOtiC DoLLi
What is that going to achieve sam? Yes sam you, you stupid bint. Why do you feel the need to call me a slut? Is it because I have actually had *REAL* boyfriends, *lmfao*
Well last night I had a shocking convo in IM, *sigh* It's kinda got me screwed up a bit..I need to do some serious thinking..oO*My brain will explode if I think*
Went to bed at 12 ish, read some of my book - "An Interview With A Vampire" [- no the book is'nt about sam the sunbed "vampire" *rofl* Mind someone could probabaly make movies about that stupid bint.] The book seems really good, but loads of people told me Anne Rice was a brill writer, she is from the same city Marilyn Manson is [bit of useless info for you all]
So much I should of done today, but havent, due to being a lazy cow, having a real head stress and just not wanting to...
Andrew is back on Saturday...
Rammstein poster still not here...
[The voices in my head don't like you.]
|Wednesday, September 24th, 2003|
Today I went to College, it was'nt *TOO* bad, I survived, but feel ill..again *sigh*
Anyhoo I went shopping in my Lunch hour, I bought a Rob Zombie album...past, presant and future..I think. And four Anne Rice book's, as it was buy one get one half price....BUT!!! I went to the cash machine and there was £20 sticking out, naturally I took it, as I'm a nasty bitch, but hey! People should'nt be so dense and forget their money!! So my 4 books came to £20:46, therefore i paid 46p for them *hehehe* And I bought a new journal, its sooo cute ;)
My Rammstein poster still is'nt here,Grrr! I want it now, goddamnit!!! I got a letter from my pen-pal Liam last night, yes last night, as my mother forgot to give me it!! GRRRR! He is a serious looney toon, although he is sending me a CD with his fav songs on!! :D [I never turn down free music!!]
[laughs at harrys journal]
I think Andrew is out tonight, I'm sure he said he was...I'm going a bit insane as of late :/ I can't wait until I can see him again though :D
[I would rather be bruised by truth than caressed by lies]
|Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003|
I feel sick, still....although I feel much better than I did. Dunno if I will be able to go to College tomorrow, I'm feeling a bit depressed :/ Dunno why? Maybe its because I know I have to see that Consultant soon, seriously it upsets me, and I don't really want my mum to come with, but I don't really want to go on my own..hmm.. maybe I should'nt go at all. Would save a lot of bother, and bullshit.
I finally talked to Jord last night, he was really distant again, I feel that our friendship is coming to an end :'( I dunno what to say to him anymore, but then again, don't all good things come to an end?
Sue has left AOL. It seem's, although she said she will be back.
Bought a poster online last night, a Rammstein one, 60x40inches, should be here by thursday :D David sent me the link to the site, we have started to talk again, which is good. I missed our friendship and bitching ;)
It was my aunty's [by marriage] fathers funeral today, I did'nt go, but my dad did...he isnt home yet, probs getting pissed with his brothers :/ Oh the joy when he comes home..
I have a rash on my face :/ It's totally rank, nasty, stinky, dirty rash :(
I THINK I'M HAVING A BAD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omfg, look at this message I got on Faceparty...
i would like to personally invite you to spend a night with vamp/goth metal band that is known as MORIARTI live at the STUDIO, hartlepool on NOV the 26th
please bring a friend and shed blood for us
Are these people on drugs? Or just idiots, Do I look like I want to give my blood willynilly? Or like I want AIDS, ffs.
Not much else to report on...
[Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.]
|Monday, September 22nd, 2003|
Ok I went to College, I hate it. End of.
It's been raining, ok I love rain, but not when I have to walk for 20minutes with no coat to find a goddamn bus-stop. I went into town, bought a new house-coat/dressing gown/whatever u call them.
So now I am home, in my house-coat, drinking wine, pleased I don't have College tomorrow :D
Phoned up the hossie, and I see the consultant soon, no doubt he will say the same old shit - "You have to lose weight, Are you having safe sex?, How many sexual Partners do you have?...and so on,FFS!! What's it to do with him!
|Sunday, September 21st, 2003|
:D Hullo people!
Been cleaning..how exciting!!! Well it is sunday afterall....I hate Sundays, like my Nana once said "Sunday is the longest and most boring day of the week." And it's goddamn true! Mind Christmas is the same, it seem's to never end..mind that could just be me hating Christmas :/ [Sad bitch aint I •lol•]
I finally found a swipe card for my phone, well actually it seem's my mother had one all the time! •GRR• So I now have credit :D Oh yeah Harry I got your text, so yeah you have the right number •lmao•
Eeeerrkk Sam was in Para last night, she did'nt talk to me, it hurt me deeply, I went to bed crying •pmsfl•
I watched a weird movie last night..I can't remember what it was called now :/ The P...I dunno.. [went to look] "The Player", and before that I watched Scream, don't ask me why! I'm gonna watch Blade tonight, then go to bed, cause I have [fuckingshittyboringandeasy] College :) •lol•
[Used, Abused and Misused]
|Saturday, September 20th, 2003|
•IT• is back [no not the clown!!] Oh the joy..
Not too much to say really.....Got up late, then went into town with Paul, and did some christmas shopping..early I know! But I saw some great stuff at great prices! ;) [tight!!!!] Loads of "goff's" said they liked my bag - the Nightmare Before Christmas one, and asked where I bought it from, not Newcastle obvisally..as it is a shit hole! [The bag's from Camden, incase you wondered] I bought some stuff for my •FOUL• feet from the bodyshop..all the stuff I bought was reduced..of course!! Oh and I bought another CD.
Then came home, waited 30minutes for a bus!! Then was on the bus over an hour!! It's a 15 minute journey!! Needless to say the traffic was beyond bad! But it has been raining allday and night :D So it's been a dark day •yey!•
Last night I could'nt connect to AOHELL! I managed to get one once, out of a billion tries!! And phoning the AOL idiots up..and doing everything they said!! Anyway AOL is working again..as you can see :)
Andrew is back in Durham soon :D :D :D
[We hate love, we love hate]
|Friday, September 19th, 2003|
I've spent •ageeeees• trying to get online tonight!! Even phoned AOHELL up, what shite they say!! [ as if we did'nt know this!! ] Anyhoo I'm online now :D
Done very little today, went to Asda with my mum, messed round in the house, went with mum to pick Sophie up from school...The joy!
Then went to IKEA, with mum, dad and little miss hormones!! Who felt stupid eating her dinner in IKEA alone! •lol•
Not like her at all!!
Anyway I bought a new computer desk, as my other one was manky and took up to much room :/ Picked the colour for my bedroom too! :D Now my dad just has to get the paint, and paint my room!!
Not a lot to say really...
Was great talking to Wee again last night, I'd missed our convo's about shite! Don't tell him I missed him though!! His ego will get even bigger!! ;)
[the greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return]
|Thursday, September 18th, 2003|
|WEEP IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!|
Aint seen lying idiot round, no doubt she has a new name, and is in para watching •lol• Or maybe she is in a new room, talking her shite..either way I'm happy she is'nt typing her usual shite.
Today has been..umm well, boring. Had a bad night's sleep, got up about 4 times to use the loo, and kept having a nightmare..which carried on after I got up and went back to bed. Was very strange.. Anyhoo when I got up at about 12:45 my mum was ironing some clothes and singing :/ I watched TV and pottered on for a bit..Picked Sophie up from school with my mum, what a little shite Sophie is, seriously..I can't believe we are sisters..right now she is banging a ball off her door :/ weird little shat what she is.
OoooOoh my room is so clean and tidy :D I love having a clean room!! Although 1/2 my clothes will not fit in my wardrobe without pushing them in and praying they dont fall off the hangers!
I finally spoke to Andrew last night..thanks for the comment babe, but you did'nt help piss me off with the world, I think I pissed myself off. •lol•
For the friend who commented..umm thanks! I'm pretty sure I know who you are! Yeah I talk about Andrew to Jord, but he talks to me, well used to, about all the girls who are after him and stuff, and I don't think Jord would ever want us to be more than friends, and neither do I.
Fee thanks for the comment, made me smile :) Like you always do!! And you never know, one day I might just take you up on the offer of you buying me a few drinks, and yer never know I might pop up in York sometime ;) I'm sure you would be able to show me round..just don't get lost!! •lmao•
Anyhoo I feel a lot better today, I'm going shopping tomorrow, with my mother..the joy!! Actually my mam is cool, she is very honest about clothes and stuff, as am I..So it should be cool, I might even get her to take me to IKEA too. :D
[The more people that hate me the less I have to please.]
|Wednesday, September 17th, 2003|
Went to college, saw a few people I once knew - Cat, Elisa and Nic! Had'nt seen Nic in like •forver•..was good catching up..Finished College early..Thank •God•..After College I went to a pub called Quinns with one of Jord's mates..was weird actually..he is •SO• depressed :/ I did'nt actually know who he was when he said hi to me at College, but then he explained •lol• [I am dense] Anyway we had a few drinks in Quinns and a natter..
I'm in a weird mood..dunno what kinda mood really..just •weird•, but then again some people would say I'm always weird..
I've also been thinking - here are some random thoughts..
* If we could change the past would we?
* How different would we be as people if the past was different?
* Does everything happen for a reason?
* Is there such a thing as fate? or do we make our own fate, depending on which path we choose?
* Why do people use, abuse and missuse others?
I dunno what's bringing all this on really, I'm just •pissed off• with life I guess..
I mean Jord is being a real wanker, he has'nt replyed to my email, answered the phone or called me, what's up with that? And when we do talk, it's me talking and him saying "Yep, No, Oh ok". •FFS• He is ment to be my best friend, and he hasnt got time for me anymore :/ I feel like I've been screwed over yet again •sigh•...
Maybe it is drink bringing on all these feelings, I don't know, I don't really care, the point is I'm feeling this way and thinking about this stuff..
I wish things were different, but wishing wont and can't make anything happen!! I just need someone willing to listen to me come out with all my bullshit and not judge me I guess...
I'm so lonley :/
Have'nt heard from Andrew today.
[Don't hurt people, just because you know you can]
|Tuesday, September 16th, 2003|
I'm sleepy..yet not tired?..You get me?..meh.
I was reading Aly's journal before, thanks for the nice words hun, made me smile :)
I've been told some nutter was in para over the weekend saying •IT• was me, well sorry folk's as you all know I was not near nor on a comp from Thursday until today..Pleased someone likes me enough to want to be me though, thanks :)
I have to be up way early tomorrow, to get into college early, I need to talk to a tutor - person - thingy...Oh the joy..Hopefuly my life will become somewhat •normal• [if that word has any real meaning] soon, with college and stuff..I hope so anyway. I'm getting sick of being me..•lol•
Anyhoo I'm away to have a nosey at some shit online.
Not been home •that• long, freaking trains!! I finally got into Newcastle at 4:58, my parents picked me up at the train station, so kind :D
Anyway I had a lovely time at Andrew's, was really nice being with him again, I went down on the Friday, and went shopping with my uncle •lol• in Camden, which was cool, bought some trousers •Flarey Cords• a weird top, kinda finshnet, but not...you know what I mean! And a nice gothic skirt, which I will wear, I WILL!! Then I made my way to Windsor, with my bags :S Met Andrew, went back to his had dinner with his family and so on..
Saturday..hmm we did'nt do much during the day to be honest, went out on the Saturday night to a cool pub in Reading called •Rising Sun•, it was actually quite good, I was impressed!! Had a band on, who were canny good aswell! Although one of the bartenders told me and Andrew to stop doing that, that being kissing, •lol• Ahh well, after that we went for the Nightbus, and some mad drunk people started talking to us, was funny :D I told Andrew some stuff about my family too, probably because I was drunkish..I don't regret it though..
Sunday...I dunno what we did Sunday, nothing really, we did'nt get up until late •lolol• Oh we went for a walk, then to the shop, thats about it really.
Monday Andrew had a presentation thingy, which he did'nt win :( Some •Fluffy Pink• project won, as he said •lol• I think Andrew should of won, he looked very smart aswell!! While he was at the thingymajigy I was shopping..again! With my friend Nicola, we went to Camden, did some shopping then sat in a pub where some nutters were talking to us, then we went to Covent Gardens, which was cool :) Bought some CD's and crap.. Had a nice day, until I had to get the tube to Waterloo, FFS! Some dude had his sweaty armpit in my face, and someone else stunk! Seriously, like rank chicken! •Vomits• Then monday night me and Andrew sat outside until 10:00ish, and talked about stuff, was nice..
Then today I came •home• :/
I had a really nice time when I was with Andrew, I seriously miss and love him loads •sigh• He will be back in Durham in under two weeks...so I cant complain too much.
Anyway I should get on with unpacking stuff...
College tomorrow :/ •Grrrrrrrr•
|Thursday, September 11th, 2003|
Well today has been quite good.
Got up at 12 ish, watched some day-time tv with my mother..who then started playing on the game boy! :S *curse her* It seem's the comments on Harry's journal were shut down..such a shame, I loved seeing myself being slagged off :) Just want to say thanks to everyone who stuck up for me, was very nice of you all, and I loved the poem/rap in the comments on my journal..heheh ;)
Went with mum to pick Sophie up, saw an old school friend..was strange, yet nice.
Then I went into town, to buy some new labrets and rings. Ended up not only buying them, but the INME album, and some perfume, which cost over £30 :/ But it smells so damned nice! Anyway I was walking through Fenwicks, when some veryyyy strange dude winked at me, YES WINKED AT ME!! FFS, I was so embarrassed..errk, that was probabaly the highlight of my day *lmfao*
Was up until 1am chatting with someone last night, was really nice..knowing we could chat to eachother after all that's happened.
I see Andrew tomorrow!! :D First I get to go shopping in Camden though..hehe
Anyhoo off the keep myself company, and pack my stuff :)
|Wednesday, September 10th, 2003|
Roflmfao@the comments in Harry's journal.
Sam if you want to slag me off at least leave your name, and don't try to blame others. Oh yeah and get some information which is true next time ;)
Yeap I'm fat..awww let's all cry for me!! FFS! I have never said I was thin, why would I? I'm not a liar like some sad people are..
Oh Sam, you said you were leaving AOL, why are you online right now then? Your account was ment to be closed today? Bullshite, I find you most amusing, picking on me because I dont like you. I have never done anything to you, maybe you are jelous because I have a real life, I have real friends, and a real boyfriend who I love more than I thought was possible. Is that what it is Sam? Or is it because I'm liked, and you arent? *lmao* Either way..Piss off, Grow up and see a shrink :)
|Tuesday, September 9th, 2003|
* On a more brighter note , can i just mention my best friend on here Georgia who had her first day at college but Georgia being Georgia she enrolled into the wrong class lolooll shes a complete nutter and by the sounds of it so is her maw and her journal is my first visit when i come online ( usually lol ) *
Harry I did'nt enrole in the wrong course ;) the dopey bints enroled me...cheek *lol* And I should bloody hope you visit my journal as soon as you come online, infact I know you only come online to read about my life *lmao* And for the record, your my best mate online too :)
Fee, thankyou so much for the lovely piccie you made...I'm sure you know what I have chosen! ;)
And well College it was interesting, Met a canny cool dude called Carl, who is really funny and a "goff" he is also as camp as possible, he made me smile :) I also saw Rich [DICK] OMG!!!! I was in shock, but I got a nice big hug and a slap on the head, and he went on to call me a half-pint...hmmm :D
I bought something really embarrassing today :/ A Power Puff Girls poster *pmsl* I had to get it...sad but true. Also bought some movies, and two CD's, the Rammstein one Jord stole, and a COF one :)
Eeeekk! I got a letter off my friend in Singapore today..I nearly died! I have her email addy, but I like to write to her as she does with me..its more exciting! *lol*
No College for the rest of the week :D :D And I'm not in College to next Wednesday..due to the fact I'm at Andrew's :) Spoke to Andrew last night, on the phone..was interesting *lol* I miss him so much..Can't wait to see him, not long to go now..
Who is going to call me at 5:30 on friday morning to get me up? Eh eh?? *lol* Imagine it, me up at 5:30 ffs, I could'nt even get up at 8:00, *lmao*
Anyhoo going to read my book..tallyhoo
|Monday, September 8th, 2003|
"You Shook Me All Night Long" (by AC/DC)
'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -
Shook me all night long.
Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla
OoOoH I forgo† †o †ell you in my las† pos†ing, I bough† a lovely Legolas Pos†er [Orlando Bloom] i†'s a door pos†er, so really long..†eehee.
Blurty for Go†hika.