Gothic Old Bat's Blurty|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in
Gothic Old Bat's Blurty:
|Wednesday, October 1st, 2003|
|Children of the Corn
I drove to Cedar Rapids Iowa this morning to buy hair. Yeah, I know that sounds kinda strange. But anyway, it was a major boring trip. Mark was working so I had to go alone. No Sweetie, no radio - just corn. As far as you can see in any direction - corn. My son Noah called me while I was driving and I mentioned the corn. He just said "Well, it IS Iowa, Mom." Point taken.
So after getting the hair I headed back home. I stopped by the salon on the way to drop off the hair. The hair I bought for myself has to be dyed before I can get the extensions. I'm having my hair straightened tomorrow and will get the extensions Friday before we leave. Mark is getting his done tonight. I can't wait to see the finished product. He will look so cool. Not that he doesn't look cool now but long hair on a guy - well, you know.
I have to clean up the house a bit and start on packing for our trip. Then it's off to the salon to watch my Sweetie get his hair done. Later Kiddies. Current Mood: lovedCurrent Music: Whatever's playing on Fuse
|Tuesday, September 30th, 2003|
It's been a bit since I updated this thing and a lot has happened since the last entry. The biggest and best is that I am back with Mark. I know, I know. I said a lot of nasty crap about him and pretty much roasted him all over the internet. He didn't deserve what I did and I am very sorry for everything I put him through. Love makes me kinda crazy, what can I say?
How did all this come about? Well, I was hanging out in Galena with a friend when I saw Mark pass by. I needed to clear up a few things with him. We had talked earlier in the week and it did not go well. I couldn't leave it like that. I jumped off the back of my friend's Harley and flagged Mark down. I wasn't expecting anything, I just wanted to state my case and part on good terms. We had a wonderful talk. The main problem I had was the mistaken belief that he had cheated on me. The whole thing was a fabrication by Judith. It never happened. When I asked him what he wanted to do from here, he asked me to come back home. He said he was still madly in love with me. And well, since I still loved him - I did. And it's been fabulous.
The loose ends (i.e. the ex's) are tying themselves up. The Evil Doll was so irate when I told him what I was doing. He threatened to burn down the house he was buying for me just to keep me from ever having it. Oh well dude, it's just a fricking house! The last thing he said was "you are dead to me" and he slammed down the phone. Which is a good thing really, I haven't gotten a single email or IM from him. Of course it wasn't so simple with Mark's ex. She was dead set on getting back together with him (after feeding me enough bullshit to keep me out of the way). She tried all the self pitying ploys and manipulations that broke them up in the first place. It didn't work.
The first week back together blew by fast. We have spent a lot of time getting back to where we where and beyond. It's even better now, stronger. It gets better and better every single day. The second week better than the first. In a strange way, all this horror of our split has made us both better people and more focused on our goals. We are going to have a great life together. I want to spend the rest of my life making Mark as happy as he has made me.
We finally got out last weekend and had some fun (not that staying home wasn't fun too). We went to Chicago on Saturday. We hung out, did some shopping at the Alley. We headed to Milwaukee that afternoon and checked into a hotel. The room was kinda far out but it was cool. The jacuzzi in the room was way cool. Mark had snunk in a pair of panties with the stuff we bought at the Alley to surprise me. Black tangos with silver skull and crossbones on the sides. That was too cool. I love them. We took a nap and then went to a club in Milwaukee. It was late when we got there but we ran into some of Mark's friends. We went back to the hotel and set some new records ;)
On Sunday we headed back home. We stopped at a mall somewhere on the way back. There was a cool import store in the mall. We bought a skull mask and a winged skeleton similar to the one in The 99th Floor in Chicago. We passed a group of teenaged Goth kids in the mall. One of the girls hollered out "I love your ?" I never could figure out if she said "coat" or "boots". Oh well, she liked something I had on. Oh yeah, and little Mexican boy about 8 or 9 years old kept winking at me. I thought boys that age where still in the "girls have cooties" phase. Not papicito chulito.
Today I've been calling around town trying to get my hair fixed. Dubuque is so lame. There's not a single place that does extensions. I did find a place that would perm my hair on giant rollers to take the curl out. That's only half the problem though. Then calls to my kids trying to get one of them to get me a copy of my birth certificate and overnight it to me. Nicole got fired from her job so she has no excuse other than sheer laziness. Noah Jon has to work and there's no way for him to get to that side of town. Maybe I can get someone else to do it for me. I've got to get it by Friday.
We are leaving this weekend for New Orleans. We'll be down there for a week. I'm so excited. We both are. We have a lot to do down there. Finding a place to live is priority one. Then to scope out workshop/retail space. When the week is up, we'll come back to pack up for the move. I can't wait until we are down there for good. I know I will be damn happy to be back in the south. I'll sacrifice 4 distinct seasons for temperate weather and southern manners.
Well kiddies - I got crap to do. Can't sit around here all day. And my baby will be calling me soon. Eight hours never seemed so long before. Current Mood: giddyCurrent Music: Sisters of Mercy - More
|Saturday, September 13th, 2003|
|The Need to Come Clean
There's been a lot of messed up things going on lately. I've locked myself into something I never wanted or intended to do. It's really bothering me. I am not like this. I need to clear the air, to come clean about a lot of stuff. I'm going to try to do that very very soon. I'm not sure of what the outcome will be, dreading it actually. But it doesn't change my resolve, of knowing it's the right thing to do. So I'm mustering my courage and preparing for the fallout.
Other than that, have you ever had a song that you just cannot get out of your head? I should be used to since I've had one of the dumbest songs ever recorded playing in my head since the mid '80. (I'll give you a prize if you tell what song!) Now I have another song I can't get rid of. It's making me nuts. At least the current song isn't so stupid.
I very rarely get on Yahoo Messenger anymore and if I do, I'm invisible. BUT - everytime I do sign on, I have a ton of offline messages from weirdos. What the hell is up with that? It's usually foreign men saying "I want to be your friend" when they actually mean "I want greencard." Then there's the ever present pervert faction with the "I think you are pretty - wanna see my dick." C'mon people - don't you have ANYTHING better to do? Jeez. Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: AFI- Third Season
|Friday, September 12th, 2003|
|A Sad Farewell to the Man in Black
I woke up this morning to find out that Johnny Cash died early this morning. I have always despised country music but always had a soft spot for Johnny Cash. He was the original bad boy, the non-conformist, don't take shit from nobody guy. When he left Nashville and started going back to his "roots" so to speak, the music was powerful. I remember the very first time I saw the video for "Hurt" on MTV2, I just stood in the middle of my living room in awe. I was saddened to learn that Mr. Cash was in the hospital during the VMA awards and couldn't attend. It was also surprising to me that some of the rappers (who I had never heard of) were naming him as the person they'd like to meet at the awards. It was no surprise to me that Hurt won for best cinematography. It was a stunningly beautiful video. A feast for the eyes. Goodbye Mr. Cash, you will be missed. Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: Johnny Cash - DUH!
|Temporary Insanity has Passed
A few cool things have happened the last couple of days, a few not so cool things too. So I'll get into the cool stuff first. Yesterday I went into a shop where a friend of mine works, she was talking to a couple of guys in there. They were talking about the were filming nearby (not so unusual) and they were with a woman they called "Linnea." My friend finally put two and two together and figured out who the woman was. Linnea Quigley, the "Scream Queen". I've seen her in dozens of movies by didn't even know who she was when I was standing right next to her. She's very very nice and it was an absolute pleasure talking to her. That was definitely a cool thing.
I got to talk to two of my kids online tonight so I'm a happy camper. They hadn't been on for awhile, I didn't know what was up. Nicole had to take her computer in for repairs and it was gone for a week. She was being her usual silly self. Then Noah came in and I talk to him for a bit. He is getting really good with Spanish, I tried to throw some obscure stuff at him but he caught it. He refused to comment on boyfriend, he kept saying "Who?" like he didn't know who I was talking about. I said that he hated my beautiful boy. He said that he hates no one, he just pretends they don't exist. Maybe I should adopt this system.
I really want to go see Once Upon a Time in Mexico. I got my Johhny fix with Pirates of the Caribbean but I need more. One of my friends told me that if Johnny Depp was in an infomercial, I'd watch it. Oh yeah. The Pirates movie was a little stupid at times but Johnny was hillarious. I can't wait to see him in Tim Burton's Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. I love anything Tim does and Johnny will be great as the eccentric Willy Wonka.
It's getting late so I'm going to bed now............................... Current Mood: optimisticCurrent Music: AFI - This Time Imperfect
|Sunday, August 31st, 2003|
|House of the Rising Sun
The Big Easy, the Big Sleazy. Purple and mauve velvet skies, balmy breezes redolent of sin caressing your skin like a lover. The place that haunts my dreams. My past and perhaps my future. Memories past dance with aspirations of things yet to be. Streets open like songs, genres melding into cacaphony that is New Orleans. The simple exhuberance of Zydeco, the pained lament of Blues, the unapologetic rage of Punk, death and destruction of Metal blend in seamless melody.
The air is tangable, heavy with scent. Spice and decay, indulgence and decadence beg you to partake. Sweet liquors loose the ties of your inhibitions, whispering softly in your ear "You know you want it, what are you waiting for?" So easy to forget your rule of not returning to the scene of the crime, longing to commit it again. In this sensory orgy, how can you not? Sandalwood scented skin stands naked, holding the apple in outstretched hand offering you to take a bite. Paradise gained, not lost.
In front of the house I lived in so long ago, the ghost of my former self still sits waiting on the porch. Waiting for Bohdan. I admonish myself for letting him slip from my memory, having not thought of him in years. Boh, my friend, my roommate, and personal super hero. Where are you now? Did you find love? Are you happy? Are you still in the US or did you go back to Russia? Wherever you are, I still owe you my life. Without a second's hesitation you jumped in to save me when lesser men would have run. You almost lost your life in the deal. I will always love you for that. I hope this fucked up world is treating you good and you are loved.
Is this place in my immediate future? Maybe. Maybe not. I still have the same dream, the same desires. I am now just willing to approach them in a different manner. I thought I had reassessed what I wanted from life after Ivey's death, my wake up call. Most things still stand true. The changes in my new inventory are those to do with love. I have love, the love of my family, my children, and my friends. What else do you really need? I will not chase love anymore. I do not need another person to feel complete. I am complete. So what do I really want? I want to focus on getting my store back. I want to spend more time in the company of my friends. I want to spend more time with my family. I want to be free.
As to where I'm going from here, who the hell knows? I have an offer to go stay with a friend and I just may do that. I think if I went to live with my new friend, things would be better, saner. Who knows? I may be a bigger mistake. Current Mood: mischievousCurrent Music: Electric Hellfire Club - Unholy Roller
|Sunday, August 10th, 2003|
Jeez, being allergic to every f**king thing sucks! I am swollen and lumpy. I look like a circus freak. My eyes are almost swollen shut. At least I can still see out of the right eye fairly well and it's not as oozy as the left one. Oh, and the itching! My skin is on fire. This REALLY sucks. I wonder how long it will take for this to go away without getting my prescriptions filled. I tried to get in touch with my brother but he won't call me back.
Noah called me last night and said he'd call back but he didn't. Shoulda figured. He wanted to know how to make refried beans but didn't do them like I told him. Why ask if you are going to ignore the directions? He was at Pablo's apartment. They'd bought a bunch of beer (now that he is 21 and can buy it himself). Matt Rector was over there. I always forget what band Matt was in. Longshot. That kid has a ton of talent. He's got music on MP3.com under "The Ichabod Contingency" and one of these days I'm going to download more of his music. It was nice to talk to Noah even if he was being kinda sarcastic. And Noah, if you are reading this - it really annoys me that you automatically despise any guy that shows any interest in me. I don't say anything to you about your girlfriends do I?
I still haven't been able to get in touch with Jen. Their phone is still out. No one can take time out of their busy lives to go to her house and give her a message for me. Jen's gonna be pissed that I gave my mother her address but sheez, no one else is willing to help.
The phone company (Qwest) here in BFE sucks too. When I ordered the damn phone I didn't pick a long distance carrier. I wanted to call around and see who had the best plan. They said there would be a $10 charge for picking one later. No problem. EXCEPT - now that I chose AT&T's One Rate Plan, they want to charge me a $95 deposit. What for? I didn't chose Qwest, I could understand if I did and they wanted a deposit. Or even if AT&T wanted a deposit. I think this is totally insane. I have to give Qwest $95 for NOT using them. So until I can shit the deposit money - I'm without any long distance whatsoever. Since ALL calls I need to make ARE long distance - I'm f**ked.
Mark went to pick up Wade late Friday night. They didn't get home until very late. Wade slept most of yesterday. He's a cute kid, looks a lot like Mark. He certainly got his curly hair. I wish I felt better. I know I've been a drag to be around. And no one wants to look at me directly, I'm scary right now. Mark and Wade left early this morning to go fishing. They'll get to spend some time together and that will be good. I don't know when they are going to be back or even if they are coming back here before Mark takes Wade home or not. I was dead asleep when they left.
I tried calling my uncle again. He's out fishing too. Wanker. I hope he gets a chigger infestation and only catches mudfish. Or even gets cut with a rusty fish hook. I'm just in a pissy mood because I'm sitting here in misery and my entire family is out there too busy to care. I'm almost to the point of telling my entire family to F**K OFF.
Maybe I should just go back to bed for awhile. I need to finish stripping the paper off the wall in the living room but I just don't care right now. I don't know if I'm going to be able to go back to work tomorrow. I really can't afford the time off. They don't want me back all lumpy and oozing but I need the money. It's not like the public sees me anyway. My headset got stuck to my ear Friday - that was gross. At the hospital, they said they had a medication that would reduce the swelling but it contains Sulfa - which unfortunately for me - I'm horribly allergic to.
I've been working on updating and rearranging my website. I'm using FrontPage, I'm not familiar with it and am having problems. I know what I want to do but can't seem to get it to work right. And doing it right now is hard, one eye closed and one side of me larger than the other. Did I mention how bad this SUCKS?
I need to quit my moaning now. I want to send an ECard to Sean Farry (Radio Doll), his birthday is tomorrow. If you haven't heard him before, check him out. There's a link to his site on my homepage. It's P-Nut's birthday too, so sad that I haven't seen or heard from her in 20 years. Well PNut, if I knew where in the hell you were I'd send you a BDay card.
Damn, now I'm thinking about all the people I miss in my life. I'm going to go paint or something before I get really REALLY f**king depressed. Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: Misfits
|Thursday, July 17th, 2003|
|More on Projects
I put some pics up of some of the projects I've been working on. http://www.geocities.com/darkmoon_muse/dungeon.htmlhttp://www.geocities.com/darkmoon_muse/other.html
Yesterday started out as a really bad day. Lots of little things gone wrong, nothing major. The small stuff is compounded by my cousin Mika, she's in the hospital and may not live. She rides like a bat out of hell so it was bound to happen sooner or later. Mark was having a not so good day too. Breaks my heart to see him sweat the small stuff. Lance came over with a 12 pack so he and Mark hung out in the garage drinking and bullshitting. I fixed baked chicken, green beans, and garbage potatoes. The potatoes rocked. So we ate dinner, talked, laughed, and forgot our problems for awhile.
Lance left early so Mark and I watched some videos online, looked up his family crest, and went to the bedroom to watch the tube. We ended up having a two hour talk instead of the usual two hour bonk. It was so cool. I don't think I've ever felt so close to anyone in my entire life. You hear everyone talk of soulmates all the time and it sounds so corny, but I truly feel that way about Mark. We are so parallel, so alike. I don't have to explain everything because he knows, he is my mirror. He touches parts of me that no one has ever reached before. Mainly because I never let anyone get that close to me before. It's good. Ain't love grand?
Well, back to peeling wallpaper for me. UGH! I got the bright idea to use the iron and steam the shit off the damn wall. It's really starting to get to me. And I have to check on the laundry too. Always something. Current Mood: lovedCurrent Music: Lunachicks
|Monday, July 14th, 2003|
|The Neverending Living Room
It took most of yesterday to tape off the half wall thingy in the living room. I had to scrounge tape from other parts of the room to finish it. Tearing the tape down the middle for a ragged effect was a major pain in the ass but the effect is worth it. I mixed up several shades of greys to lay in the "blocks" and sponged away. I was within 4 foot of being finished but took time out for company. Our friend Lance, a fellow southerner in the land of the yankees came over. Lance grilled ribs and we made side dishes. He left around 11:00 pm so getting back to the wall was not going to happen. I could have set some lights up in the room and finished before going to bed. Could have, but didn't. Not with the light of the full moon shining through the windows and a naked man in the bedroom. I have my priorities!
So today I pulled the tape from the finished section of the wall and laid in my cast shadows. It's looking very cool! Our own little dungeon. I tried painting over that horrid mural thing but it was a disaster. Now I have to peel the mess off. I am going to get this damn room finished this week if it kills me. The dry brushing on the darker grey walls won't take long. Then to repaint the TV wall black and do a silver frottage over it. A trip to Michael's for more Gallery Glass to finish the windows. Running out of a color mid-project is a bummer. I am planning to make curtains in a deep burgandy color, maybe not of velvet but something rich looking anyway. To cover the center and not to obliterate my faux stained glass, I'll make some sheers. I had an idea (but don't know if I'll do it), to stencil some cool little design on the sheers with silver. Could be cool. We'll see. I'd like to put a valance with a shelf over the windows too. We need a place to put our creepy collections. To tie them in with the entertainment center, I'll wrap the edges in black vinyl and put silver studs along the edge.
Making a slipcover for the couch may be more expensive than just buying a ready made one. I'm still checking on that. The coffee table is finished and looks fabulous. It has faux marbling around the edges and I silverleafed the center. It looks Gothy and Industrial at the same time. I want to get some BX and spray paint it black to hang the chandelier with. Or find some really cool chain. Maybe we can make some dangerous looking chain, barbed wire looking or something.
Marquee is going to make a huge wall sculpture for the long wall but it may be awhile in coming. The shop isn't fully set up and I'm sure he needs more steel. Meantime, I'll hang the bat on that wall. Or maybe the fangs. Nah, the bat. I want him to make some torcheres for the window wall too, to add to the dungeon look. And some fleur-de-lis brackets to hang the valances from. Too many ideas, too many ideas!
Well, I need to get my butt back to work. It's not going to get done by itself ya know. Current Mood: artisticCurrent Music: AFI - God Called in Sick Today
|Thursday, July 10th, 2003|
|Ex Drama and Workshop Woes
I guess the ex-whatever he was (technically he was NOT my boyfriend) has decided to go away. The 400 emails a day have stopped. I decided no matter how badly I wanted to flamebroil his ass, I am going to just ignore him. Musta worked. Now if Marquee's ex would get the same clue, it would be all good.
The workshop is far from being done. At least the lights are wired in, now just to run the 220 for the welder! Working full-time and working late on the workshop is wearing Marquee out. I wish I could do more to help out but I'd just mess shit up. Best to stick to the work inside the house. The windows are not finished but will be by the end of the day. I didn't think it would stop raining long enough to get them done. I still have to paint over that godawful mural. Tacky '70's scenic crap. Paint it Black, Baby!
The show in Milwaukee is fast approaching and we are scrambling to get ready. Should be a blast even if we don't sell a thing. Check it out - A Midsummer's Night Scream - http://www.seabrite.com/milwaukeegothiccouncil/events.htm Current Mood: optimisticCurrent Music: Bury Me Deep - Sisters of Mercy