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[14 Nov 2004|10:04pm] |
ive never felt so empty before.
i dont get it either... nothing bad has happened to me at auburn, if anything, i should be happy.
i think i must have a chemical imbalance.
we could try to bury the hatchet in the cold cold ground, but its sure to come up when the spring comes round.
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[15 Jul 2004|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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weirded out. |
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music |
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ashlee simpson!........... |
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ahhh
my mom just showed me she printed out the website for the morning after pill.
uh
she said she wanted me to know all the information about sex and contraceptives before i left for school.
thanks mom, but im not having sex nor am i planning to have sex anytime soon.
that was fucking awkward.
anyway.
my back is all sunburnt from yesterdays surfing excursion. the surf was sososososoosososo unbelieveably small, but i still had a lot of fun. graig bought his new board, and we ended up just goofing around, paddling out far, and surfing the little beach breaks. i met this girl who was surfing right near us, and she was really cool so we're probably going to meet up on sunday to surf. woo.
kandimout
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[12 Jul 2004|04:42pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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weezer |
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i deleted my lj, so im going to write in here from now on when i need to.
and for anyone who wanted to know why i deleted it, it was because lately it ended up making me feel awful, instead of better. when i read everyone's entries, i felt like i was missing out on life. i know that sounds stupid, and i know that i dont have a bad life...but man.. for instance, when i hear certain songs, they make me sad even though the lyrics are happy. i guess i just start to think about how i hope that life doesnt pass me by, and i hope that ill look back on my life and be relatively satisfied.
but yeah.
ive been feeling really depressed lately. lots of people who i used to consider my friends, arent. that hurts me more than anything. people change so much, and most of the time, its not a good change. its fucking depressing. ive lost touch with so many people...
and i know ill lose touch with even more after i leave. i told glenn how i was feeling and he said something like "dont worry about keeping in touch with friends from home, the ones who are your real friends will want to keep in touch, so it wont be a probem." thats both comforting and scary. who knows what will happen.
i was looking on the net today about my button problem. apparently its called koumpounophobia. surprisingly, a lot of people have it. i was reading on a couple threads in forums, and some people have it a lot worse than i do. its kinda comforting that im not the only one who doesnt like buttons. ha.
thats it for now.
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| we learn to live, we live to die |
[03 Jul 2004|05:26pm] |
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hi blurty.
i havent written in here in forever. yep. kinda like it better than lj though...less people, which most often equates into less drama. oh yeah, and also more pleasing to the eye.
4th of july tomorrow.
i might make a cake.
who knows.
just call me martha stewart.
bye..
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[18 Dec 2003|10:39am] |
im on lj now as radical_
kjdghsleriugheoilh;awkrewahg;erhg;aQ!
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[04 Dec 2003|10:45pm] |
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is it sad when you realize that youre too lazy to even talk?
i think id rather stay at home and avoid conversation.
yeah. it's sad.
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| ay |
[30 Nov 2003|11:21am] |
thanksgiving was alright. nothing really spectacular. i slept for most of the afternoon and we couldnt play our traditional game of family football because it was storming all day. so yes. i slept and watched football with everyone.
my cousin sarah is so adorable. shes 3 and extremely talkative. i slept over at their house the night before i left and we watched the little mermaid 2 and mickeys christmas. they both sucked. what can ya do.
hm.
yep. well. its my moms birthday today. i gave her spaceballs on dvd and a ben folds five cd.
wow this is a boring entry.
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[25 Nov 2003|10:53am] |
going to alabama.
hell.
ugh.
call me sometime this week. please..?
832.549.5298.
have a good thanksgiving everyone
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| people are just too damn funny. |
[23 Nov 2003|03:45pm] |
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my mom just walked up to me and gave me a pepper spray/dye ink/ "pen" self defense thing. i almost peed myself laughing. she told me that since i go to "all of those clubs" that i need something to protect myself with. what really got me though, is when she said that im going to have to take karate lessons before i go off to college. hahaha. oh man. i know how to do grab, twist, pull. that's all the self-defense ill ever need.
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[21 Nov 2003|03:55pm] |
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thank GOD this week is fucking over.
my dad came home today. i missed him. hah.
yeah..so i thought i was supposed to go dye hair with deanna this afternoon. but i guess not? yeah......
tonight should be fun. jamming with the ladies. insanity.
i feel shitty, even though it's thanksgiving break.
oh well.
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[19 Nov 2003|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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online radio thing |
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im in a terrible mood.
i kind of finished my project. the last part looks so half assed, its not even funny. whatever. its done. now to read 250 more pages of Pride and Prejudice. SHOOT ME, THANKS.
the lady at kinkos was a bitch. actually, all 3 of the workers there were. all i needed was to get a card so i could make 2 copies. 2. thats it. not a whole fucking photo album or any of that shit. so i wait for one of them to give me a card for like 5 minutes. they look at me, see that im there waiting, but still wont take 2 seconds out of their precious time to get me a card. so when they finally decide to tear themselves away from this old couple scrutinizing every single little page of their photo album and baklhlsaflkf, the lady gives me my card. it takes all of 2 minutes to make my copies. now, ive got to go pay. jesus. the lady stares at me again, and this time she just walks away and starts making about 34905830496820349 copies. she saw that i only had 2 sheets of paper and i just needed to give her like 15 cents. so. 10 minutes later, she comes back and i ask her if i could please pay for this. i was seriously considering just slapping down a quarter and leaving...but i didnt. so i finally get paid, then she starts telling me about all of these "great gift ideas that are only $5.99 blhalbalhalhalbahalha!!!!". holy. crap. give me my change and let me go. i dont care about your shitty gifts.
i left and went like 80 down northpark to get home. i was so pissed. its sad, really. i got so upset over something so little. but still. it pissed me off. and yeah.
ive just been in a bad mood all week. pms perhaps?
yeah.
i gave blood today. im kind of proud of myself for not chickening out.
ok.
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| yeah. |
[18 Nov 2003|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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music |
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ben folds |
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so im about half way done with my college project. we're supposed to go extensively into how much each little thing will cost (food, appliances, transportation, etcetectetctetetcgtrgverkjbl). i decided to kinda of get a running total going of all my expenses. so far it's $28,753.65.
i almost cried.
there is no way in hell that my parents can afford anything over like $15,000, maybe even $20,000. so this means that even if i do get accepted to my dream school, i wont be able to go. i just cant believe that it's already that expensive and im not even done yet. man. im honestly upset. fuck you, college.
scholorships look bleak. im not involved enough in ffa to get some from there. the houston livestock show scholorship (the one i was depending on) will only give you money if you stay in state. well. sucks for me.
ill probably have to stay in state then....i dont want to at all.... gah.
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| you look like gold to me. |
[13 Nov 2003|08:23pm] |
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mood |
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intimidated |
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i think im stuck in a rut.
i dont know why, though. school has been even more boring than usual. i just go and wait and wait and wait and do a worksheet or two and draw a stupid picture and take a little bit of notes half-heartedly and wait and wait. then i go home and waste my time on this stupid fucking computer, thinking about starting my homework.
it's time for some change.
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| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[11 Nov 2003|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
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music |
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/excited/happy/crazy/nkslgulhtri |
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oh. me. oh. my.
i am so going to see catch 22 VERY soon. god, this is going to kick ass.
hopefully i dont get caught. cross your fingers for me, lovelies. hahaha.
...
did school today remind anyone else of nazi germany?
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[04 Nov 2003|06:07pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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im a huge fuckin nerd. its pathetic.
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[03 Nov 2003|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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the bouncing souls. BAM |
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( camera whore. )
OK DONE.
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[03 Nov 2003|10:02pm] |
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i want to have a tea party.
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[02 Nov 2003|10:39pm] |
MAN OH MAN.
haha.
go to catch 22 and brand new with me this week/weekend. THANK YOU!
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[30 Oct 2003|08:36pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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sublime |
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hah. i feel great.
i havent gotten my precal homework done though....hmm.
how come no one updates this thing anymore?????????!1
now really people. get to it.
i hung out with graig. then deanna and chris. that was fun. heh. im glad i got to see graig today. <3. we're both sick and its lame. ohhhhhh well. i think im gettting a lot better though. woo.
heh i feel like saying something right now to someone...(OoOo evasiveness!!!!)
but im not going to do it here. :D
hmmm he should call me.
YEAH OK. PRECAL TIME!
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| down to the edge of the water. |
[20 Oct 2003|05:25pm] |
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mood |
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whiney/kinda sad |
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music |
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dashboard |
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srkglhersiugsenargjkhsrkljghslruegawpioueghiowaegnksdjng;slkgndlsaj-30ti203tpdfmblkcnblkkdm
i worked for 3 periods today with amber on our group environmental science project. too bad we're the only ones who actually do anything. argh. thats why i hate group work. i cant help but actually put effort into it and do a decent job, and of course no one wants to do work so all of it always ends up being done by me and usually one other person. whatevah. hopefully there wont be too much group work in college.
speaking of college... a princeton admissions packet was sent to me. hell if i know why. i never requested information about princeton. i could never ever ever get in there and i wouldnt want to go even if i could. i bet my dad sent in that stuff for me. dsfjsdhglajsahgdoiweg.
yeah. hm. show is making me nervous... i have to go down to the barns and shear dexter, clean him, etcetcetc. gah. i dont feel like doing it at all. ah. lazy.
hah this made me laugh:
miss nerd x core: whats up
homersimpsonNL: homewwwwork
miss nerd x core: psh. who does that these days?
homersimpsonNL: people with no lives like me.
homersimpsonNL: and you.
miss nerd x core: hah.
miss nerd x core: yeah i have no life.
ah jeroen. that kid cracks me up.
yeah...i feel really shitty right now..not necessarily physically shitty though...just kind of mentally guilty and...shitty? ive lost touch with a lot of people..and i havent treated them the best i could have. you know what? i realize that i really miss glenn. we always used to have so much fun in middle school and then part of 9th grade, then he hated me and i him for a while, then we got cool again. he was like the closest thing i had to a brother...even more than my real brother. yeah. i want to call him sometime this week and catch up. yeh. i dont know.. and ive also really lost touch with jeff, mario (even though i think he hates me), kinda gonzo, and a few others. i know i let people down a lot and im sorry.. argh. yeah this is ending.
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