[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, June 17th, 2004|
Going Out Tonight
We are going out tonight with Sara and Zack. I'm excited to spend some time with Sara. I hope Zack has a better time this go around, than he did last time at Shogun's.
Tim is moving to Nevada (Reno) this week for a new change in job. It's about 1500 miles away. That's quite a ways. I hope things work out well for him and Jennifer. I know how things went when they moved to Texas, and I just hope it doesn't turn out anything like that again.
Audrey is supposed to be making calls for us, but she hasn't gotten anything yet. Which makes me wonder if she really is calling or not. I wonder how she's doing in school. I wonder how the kids are. I need to call Daddy and let him know about Sara, and that she wants the refrigerator for her dorm.
Zack broke his foot a week or so ago. I guess he has to go to a specialist to have it set. The people are here to do our lawn. I hope it's not too loud, because Pat is having Bill tape record this teleconference on bankruptcy.
I guess we will be moving soon. I told Pat I had to know for sure by the end of the week. In a way I want to move, but in a way I don't want to. I want to live in another place but without the hassle of moving. But moving also is sort of an adventure, something new too. :) We've been looking at apartments and found a few we like.
|Tuesday, June 15th, 2004|
Well today we got the router and it took me several hours to set it up. But now it's set up and I can get online too, just like Pat. I'm so happy. I've missed having the Internet available all the time. It's been a while. So that has made me very happy. Plus this gives the girls a second computer where they can check their mail or be online too.
Sara is spending the night at Zack's again. It seems strange for her to be gone so much. It's hard to believe she will be 19 in 4 months. She said it seems strange to her that she has so much freedom now and that she doesn't have to "ask" us if she can go places or do things. It seems sort of strange to me too, but it's time, and I feel very confident she will start out on her adult life in a great way. I think she makes good decisions and she knows how to take care of herself. She will be starting school (OU) in the fall. It's hard to believe that I will have a daughter in college. That makes it seem like I should be very old, but I don't feel that old really. I guess 40 is not that old really.
I need to write, but I'm just screwing around and not really writing anything steady except these journals. But at least I'm writing in here. :) I guess that's better than nothing.
I wonder what will happen in July when Sebastian is supposed to come home. I wonder if Simon will raise a fuss or if he will just let him come home? I still can't believe Audrey just let all her kids go like that. It still boggles my mind and heart.
Today was a very busy and sort of stressful day. But hopefully tomorrow will be good. I should go to bed soon. I need to go take my contacts out because they are bothering my eyes. I'm back now, feel better now.
I'm listening to the Birdman disc. ***shh! don't tell anyone***
American Girl ... EV doesn't do TP very well ... lol.
Anyway ... this makes me want to listen to some real PJ. LOL!
Roadhouse Blues ... much more suited to EV.
Now I'm listening to Singles and it's much better. :) I don't really have much more to say tonight. It's too sad about Layne and Kurt ... way too sad. Drugs take a lot of good people on to the next life. It's too bad I guess, but it can't be helped either.
Current Mood: pensive
|Sunday, June 13th, 2004|
Today mostly I worked on getting realtor names done for a mailing. I didn't really mind working because I was bored. The girls are both gone, have been most of the day. Mandy called, she needed a ride to the hospital. She thought she was pregnaunt and miscarring, but it was just a false alarm and she has an infection. So that all worked out okay. Thank goodness. I am thinking about asking for Laurie to spend the night with us on Friday. I think it would be fun.
I'm really getting into Blue October ... I wish their concert in Tulsa was at a regular venue.
|Saturday, June 12th, 2004|
I have to post sometimes after I write a lot because I'm scared I'll lose what I wrote. So I may post a lot. :)
I should e-mail Jen and ask her how the trip went. I had fun doing the questions of the day. I hope I didn't step on any toes. :) Knowing me I probably did.
I put some books on reserve at the library...books on assertiveness training. Maybe this will help me be more assertive at work. I am going to try very hard. I know it's all in my mind.
I asked Pat to get me some SlimFast at the store. I have the Blue October disc that I'm going to burn today. From what I heard about them, of their songs, WOW I was really impressed.
More About Today
Someone hacked into the computer and it took me all morning to get it fixed. Sometimes I really hate computers. But I guess if hated them that much I would be writing this in a notebook somewhere and not here on my computer. :)
I'm listening to No Code now. I want to go listen to a live PJ show and take notes about any comments on songs, but Tia is asleep and I don't know where the portable CD player is, so I have to wait till she wakes up. We're going to pay her to clean our room. It's a real pit now.
I know why I resist so much writing about BP and what triggered mine. It's a painful subject and one that I would rather avoid than deal with. My mind is racing a thousand different directions today and it's really hard for me to concentrate on one thing. I want to do about 10 things at once. Too bad I can't. Too bad my brain is fucked up.
Audrey is going to start making telemarketing calls for us. Pat saw her yesterday and he said she looked okay, but that she had dark glasses on. So wtf does that mean? Was she hiding something? Zac broke his foot on Thursday so Sara and him won't be going to Padre. Probably better anyway I guess. Sara doesn't seem too disappointed that they aren't going. Now she has all this money to buy stuff for her new dorm room. :)
Anyway ... so I wrote to Julia at the Haven and I guess they did kick me out because she hasn't responded. And I can't sign on anymore as Jennifer, so whatever I guess with them. Just checked, still nothing from her. Oh well ... moving on. Guess I can't blame them ... I sort of deserted them over and over, maybe they are just tired of it. At least Lina is still talking to me.
I saw this program on TV the other day with Deborah Norville and she was interviewing this famous man who had MS and he had written a book about his illness and how he lived with it. This guy is Meredith Ferraro's husband. His name is Richard something or other. This is the kind of book I want to write.
I'm listening to Tori again. This album still blows me away. This song "Strange" is so good. It's making me cry. When will I learn?
It's hard to type when you are crying ... it's hard to see the keys and the screen.
I heard Ed sign this song called Trouble this morning. It was so fucking beautiful. I want to check to see if I have the name right.
It's strange the way you find out you have an illness. I always thought I would go to the doctor and he would give me some tests and then he would say "You have This." But it didn't happen that way for me at all.
I've always know I was different than most people. I've always done things differently than most people. I was raised in a closed society, I spent most of my teen years rebelling and living a double life and experimenting with everything that closed society told me was wrong. Then when I was 18 I was in the military and I tried and did everything ... to an extreme.
I remember the day the Sheriff came to my door. It was a Wednesday, late afternoon. He gave me a paper that would change my life forever. I wonder if he had any idea what he was about to do to me?
Current Mood: mellow
|Friday, June 11th, 2004|
It would take quite a bit to set up the book that I'm talking about. It would take a lot of time, but it would be SO MUCH FUN! I have to do it, I just have to, that's all there is to it. Okay .. I am going to do it. :)
And now I have this great title too. ;)
Current Mood: excited
Today was not very good. I mean I guess it got better later because I refused to let it be bad the whole day. I'm not even sure I'm ready to write about it, any of it.
I feel like I've rediscovered PJ today. :) I told Lina to pick some shows and I'd burn them for her. I think tomorrow I may go on STG and see about putting up a show ... maybe ... still not sure about them. Maybe not. :)
I think I want to go through my PJ interviews and transcribe them all. I want to write a PJ book. I want to write a book about being bipolar too. I'm listening to Tori ... damn I love this album...a sort of fairy tale with you ... ooooohhhh ahhh aooahhahhhhh. The girl come undone ... I wonder if Tori has read Wally's book? *shrug*
Pat thinks I'm screwing around. He has no clue ... I'm not. I think he is ... and to be completely honest I'm not sure that I mind it that much if it would make him happier. He's so wrapped up in the business that I don't think he thinks about other things, but then I know that sex is up there on his list of things he dwells on and wants.
Anyway ... back on to the books I want to write. If I could have anything I wanted I'd write a book about Pearl Jam ... an authorized biography. Now that would be the ultimate dream. Then next I guess I would like to write a book about the songs. I mean that's the whole point anyway, isn't it? I should call it "the whole point anyway: pearl jam songs" ... lol ... hey that's really not a bad idea. I could do it in an indie way and sell it from a cheesy site. lol I wonder if pearljamsongs.com is available? or thewholepointanyway.com ... rotfl ...
I signed up for the contest lists again ... yeah right, like I would ever really do it. I had a couple picked out that I was seriously thinking about, but then my computer crashed and I lost them. I just refuse to send anything that requires a reading fee ... I mean, it seems to me that people should pay ME to read my work, or at least it should be free for all parties.
Current Mood: artistic