godivagoddess' Journal

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Friday, January 23, 2004

Sunday, December 28, 2003

7:53PM

hey today was really sorta boring. my dads watching some violent movie i dont kno which 1 but i can hear screaming and things blowing up in the backround.....last night mr. hobbit was extreamely agitated becuz i wasnt responding to evry one of his messages. he tried to send a virus to me but i guess the firewall got it. my cell phone is working and thats good though i have to pay for the time...its a virgin mobile and u pay w/ either these cards or a credit card but since i dont have a credit card i buy the cards at virgin records.
i spent the morning cleaning out the pool and that really sucked becuz my back hurt sooo bad from lifting all those buckets of water to my grandma(claire was supposed to be helping but she just sat there staring at me and would not help lift the heavy ones). i cleaned out my closet and w/ my cousin we went through all the shit i dont wear oir thats just stupid.
im really bored right now...lalalallalala......
i was talking to jeff and naming off my christmas presents and i said thongs and hes like thats not someting u should tell some people or something like that....im srry jeff if i offended u or made u uncomfortable in anyway im just used to being open about that sorta stuff....especially in Speech and debate.
i started this whole big debate becuz i beleive in uthinasa or how ever its spelled and abortion and then mrs. floyd said if it was up to ms. fisher(thats wut she calls me) there would be no one left on the earth, then i said no i just think that people with an IQ lower than 100 should be starilized and then everyone started laughing it was a bit funny becuz the class had a huge debate over those issues. yea well anyway....

gawd i need to get into shape....i stil look the same but now after christmas for my new years resolution im going to get in shape before summer! i also need to tan my legs they're white becuz when u laser ur not supposed to tan. that lasering stuff hurts soooo bad!!!! i hope its all worth it becuz if its not im going to crusify the clinic people!!! gawd boys u dont kno how lucky u r not having to go through all the pains and discomforts of being a woman!

i getting better at horse back riding... claires obsession for horses quieted down for now becuz mum and dad got her a saddle for christmas. at least shes not spending 24/7 on the internet!

gawd i wish i could kno whos reading this thing.....oh well......

byebye
love
leigh

Current mood: anxious

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Saturday, December 27, 2003

5:57PM - current update

name-leigh
age-14
sex-......young,eager and willing(still a virgin though)
single-yes
current crushes-**** & ****
current mood-bored.../hungry

ok my holiday so far has been ok the good stuff was christmnas my family going out on the boat( though wuit happened later was not so peachy),My new cell(that doesnt work some things wrong w/ the bloody reception or something)the 320 in cash finding 20 bucks in pacific sun and the other gifts i got. though i have to say the bad came close to out wieghing the good. first off the boat incident(im not telling even though i should but maybe ill say later on when im really pissed).. next the highlights....my mum and cousin put highlights in my hair like always but some thing was different.. my hair turned ORANGE!!!! and my sis an cousin called me carrots! ):
yea but then we some what fixed it by dying my hair a brown but it looks almost back to normal though im trying to debate wether i should go darker, lighter or stay the same w/ the highlights... I NEED PEOPLE TO TELL ME THEIR THOUGHTS!
anyway........
yea i have 2 people i like right now their **** and **** both i sort of like from a distance though ive already told one ova the summer i liked him and the other one i see @ school but i really never talk to him. ones a nineth grader and 1s an 8th grade. btui i dont think ill be going out w/ anyone until january becuz i need a break from my last relationship though if the 9th grader asked me out id say yes becuz like all my friends that kno him think hes nice and cool and for the 8th grader idk id have to think but probely yes. im looking for a long relationship becuz those week flings r sooooo stupid its like "I love u!*KISS*KISS" and then they break up in a week its total bs im looking for some one who cares(and some one whos not going to cheat on me!, be open w/ their feelings(even though thats hardly true exep[t for anger and sex stuff)

last min. note ok like the entry where i was w/ my sis entering stuff about boys and the screwing shit im srry if i offended anyone i kno not all boys are like that i was just a little worked up and pissed and that stuff that claire did just ignore it shes 11 and has no interest in boys wut so eva!

love leigh

Current mood: hungry

Current music: scar tissue-RHCP

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Monday, December 22, 2003

Tuesday, December 9, 2003

5:47PM - UHHH!!!!BOYS!!!!

idk im all fired up right now.... w/e
not all boys r ass holes though....
Stephanie and I are just tired of boys!(though there is for me 1 boy that if he asked me out in like january i'd say yes 2.....not telling)
here are like some major things boys are blissfully blind 2...
-the SIMPLE things count!(ex. calling some one up on their birthday to sing happy birthday 2 them.(even if its just a friend its still really sweet))
-some boys r too self centered and jerky to care about wut WE feel!
-Dont forget our birthdays!(u dont have to really get us anything though a rose would be nice..but just saying happy birthday and a hug would be nice enough)
-be nice to her parents and siblings!
-dont cheat becuz once u do all the trust she ever had in u will *pooff* be gone!(ps. and dont even think about keeping it a secret...shell find out and the consiquences will not be pretty!)
-U boys for the most part are stupid and not ready for a relationship anytime soon so just suck it up and accept that we're not going to screw u in the 1st 4 months of dating!

claires words(my lil sis):
-boys are dumb
-dont tell girls about discusting things that we really dont need to know about (l:unless it has to do w/ stds)
(exp:"I have a parasite in my neck, it curls up and uncoils. Isnt thatcool?" no it isnt and yes i have encountered that before.)
-Girls are cute, mature, hot, and any other words for that but you guys are ubseenly discusting, crude, unatractive,(exept for my sis's crush) and down right midget like.
-did i mention you guys being tiny in more than 1 way.
-did i miss any thing............oh yah i did , boys are nasty because of the tiny growths on their groins.

Current mood: bitchy

Current music: suck my kiss-RHCP

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Friday, December 5, 2003

Thursday, December 4, 2003

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

6:29PM - bored

right now im sitting at the computer listening to a perfect circle's weak and powerless.....my dads putting book shelves around our fire place....claire and christy r watching charmed....law and orders acually a pretty good show if u like that kind of stuff....they have cases with petafiles....murders....rapes....there was one where this person raped a mentally slow girl who had an Iq of like 30 something it was really sad. i didnt to get 2 see the end though. im going to the gym 2night and yea....likes ok some wut boring becuz an certain some1s not calling.....well anyway i was looking at my cousins email next to her and i had just put a chocolate donut in my mouth (see i do eat donuts Jesse!) well any way i guess i sota drooled on her! yea ok for those who r really grossed out now i normally dont drool but i dont kno y i did but i drooled and it landed on her foot.lol yea she thiught it was both gross and funny becuz we had been just discussing if i was a nerd or not (my family says im not but they do say i run like one!) well i got called a nerd 4times 2day and a lezbo 2times well thats really not that bad....adam calls me a nerd almost every day yet he and i flirt back and forth(but i dont really mean it when i flirt with him its only becuz were both flirts and were both bored in speech and debate)(but nooooo touchy). ive also been called a lezbo 7 times in one day though 2 were from the same kid and another 2 were from another kid. but im gettin sooo sick and tired of all these problems with boys that if i have 1 more problem Maybe i WILL be lezbian.(jk....no im straight....straight as a circle!)

ok like im not sure who reads my journal becuz like it doesnt tell me who reads it which sucks.....i dont kno well anyway just post a comment sayin im either a nerd or a lezbian if u think i am i wont take it personally i already have a self esteem level in the negatives.....

w/e (to those i love....Hug*kiss*kiss*)
(to those i hate that r reading this....byebye u horny fucks!)(and to those i dont kno who r reading this journal w/e fuck u 2!)

Current mood: bouncy

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Monday, November 17, 2003

Monday, November 10, 2003

9:49PM

well i tried 2 start a conversation with u but ur not talking so its kinda hard to comunicate properly.i sent u this link 4 so amusment.....w/e ur sick and i got no love at school 2 day.....2morrows off and im going to the movies w/ my cousin and sis then 2 lunch and shopin at coconut grove.

Current mood: drunk

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Saturday, November 8, 2003

6:30PM

i was reading Craig's s/n profile and this is one of the things it said at the end.....
Do u get a feeling u r too lonely & that u want someone apart of your life? Its not right not being with u *****

and im a little confused about wut that means.....jesse told me that craig had said he was lucky to be going out w/ me and all those ppl who kno craig and i went out for a veryu short time which i feelreally bad 4 i dont kno really wut that means i have my thoughts about *****....well any way im pretty ok right now so yea....

Current mood: anxious

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Thursday, November 6, 2003

4:10PM

hey im training to become a peer mediator. well any way today was pretty boring exept for the last 2 periods of the day...in speech and debate my group was freaking out that we were going to get an F on our presentaion of The Raven by Poe because we hardly got to practice it at all becuz so many of our group members were out but like alll the other groups were sooooo boring it was like Oh my gawd liven up a bit! well any way when we got up there we were doing stario types and frechie was a goth alana (i think thats how u spell it) was a prep that kept sayin "neva more!" and anthony was getto this opther girl that neva talked was a jock and i surprise surprise was a nerd....(noty my choice but im not really that stubborn so i agreed) then we did it and mrs. floyd was turning red and the whole class was laughing soooo much which was good becuz we were the only group that got an A!YES!!! WHOAHOOO!!!! welll anyway yeah anbd then after history Jesse had this prob made out of a thick antena with a magnet on it and he kept poking me w/ it... ohh well the little things i tolarate to make him happy JKJKJK...lol no i like the attention....well any way after class like we were walking down and he was making it really hot w/ friction and then he touched my cheek with it IT BURNED!!! no that bad though it felt like i was electricuted and then when we went out side i was like stay away from that thing and he got fabi and jose and alll the time that im yelling Micheal Y was trying to get a hug then iu finally noticed that and so i gave him a hug. today was like really short but at the end it was fun! lol im in a good mood also becuz my cousin from astralia is here!
byebye
luv 2 u kno who!(even though u burned me!lol)

Current mood: happy

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Tuesday, November 4, 2003

Friday, October 31, 2003

9:50PM - OH MY GAWD HAVE THINGS CHANGED 4 THE BETTER!!IM SOOOO HAPPY!!!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Hey things have been sorted out and now we're a couple again! Whoa hoooo! IM HAPPY!!!ITS HALLOWEEN IM HYPER!!!!OFF THE CANDY HAPPY SOUP!!! well any way yeah im happy right now....though i cant talk 2 me Baby becuz of my stupid mom and dad they got pissed @ me so im of the phone the whole weekend...poopy....jesse just called and i had to hang up well i still love u!!!*KISS**KISS*YEAH well any way yeah im happy once more!

*jumps Off the walls*

WEEEE!!!!!!!

ok yeah so now u get the point yeah.....THANX A BUNCH STEPHIE!!!! UR SOOOO GOOD 2 ME!!!!! BECUZ OF U IM HAPPY ONCE MORE!!!!!!

anyway back to my candy.....lol wish u where here Baby! and U 2 Stephie!

ps u pep should have come 2 my house! we scared the crap out of some high school boys! YEAH! they thought i was fake!HAHAHAHAHA!!!MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

LOVE U!!!!!!!!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

Current mood: ecstatic

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Thursday, October 30, 2003

9:11PM

GodivaGoddess13: even though u may not love me any more i have 2 say this one thing....i still love u... i still care but its alright if u dont fell that way anymore.....

FendeRFreaK698: i do love you though
GodivaGoddess13: but it seemed 2 me that u wanted to split up in that note and i can deal with it if u found some one else...
FendeRFreaK698: i dint find someone else
FendeRFreaK698: i just *sigh
FendeRFreaK698: i cant live with myself and thnk that you daeserve better than me
GodivaGoddess13: but the problem is i really have feelings for u thats the reason why i broke up w/ creg i did it after i called u and said i just wanted 2 be friends
GodivaGoddess13: *sigh....
FendeRFreaK698: "The Leaving Song"

Walked away, heard them say
"Poison hearts will never change, walk away again"
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within

It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky
When you're staring at the cracks
It's hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered

You... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change, walk away again"

All the cracks will lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart

As I... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change"
Walked away again
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within


GodivaGoddess13: does this mean goodbye?
FendeRFreaK698: i'm not sure
GodivaGoddess13: well im willing to forgive u but u would have to promise nevr to do it again
FendeRFreaK698: no i cant be forgiven
FendeRFreaK698: i can only be forgotten
GodivaGoddess13: no (losing it) im here right now with a felling of lonelyness
GodivaGoddess13: i miss u and i didnt want it to end
FendeRFreaK698: Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming

Yo he esta-do agui muchas veces antes y regreso

To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy
So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully
Now watch as it destroys me

Y regreso agui otra vez y comienzo

To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all to die

I saw its birth, I watched it grow
I felt it change me
I took the life, I ate it slow
Now it consumes me

I... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away
... Heart away

GodivaGoddess13: cant we work around this?
FendeRFreaK698: why doyou still feel for me?
GodivaGoddess13: i dont kno
GodivaGoddess13: probely the same reason y stephanie has feelings left for u
FendeRFreaK698: is it even possible to love this mass of monstrous shit i have become
GodivaGoddess13: yes...y does jared at church still like me even when i have ignored him and hide ive been rude to him ive been rude to him ive talked behind his back but he still follows me every where
GodivaGoddess13: ??? some thing u cant explain
GodivaGoddess13: life is like that
FendeRFreaK698: WHY DAMMIT!!
GodivaGoddess13: becuz it is and i can see we r gettin noway and im just pissing u off......
FendeRFreaK698: no its not your fault
FendeRFreaK698: im pissing myself off
GodivaGoddess13: yes it is my fault i brought the whole subject up y dont u just bloke me or totally ignore me .....
GodivaGoddess13: ill cry alone...
FendeRFreaK698: as will i......
GodivaGoddess13: no dont cry alone at least not u....
GodivaGoddess13: ive cried alone half my life
FendeRFreaK698: i will cry one last tear in this hell of mine..a tear of bloody sorrow..for you
GodivaGoddess13: wut do u mean by that?bloody?
FendeRFreaK698: nothing
FendeRFreaK698: nothing at all
GodivaGoddess13: mmm well any way can i ask u 3 questions
FendeRFreaK698: i quess
GodivaGoddess13: wut kind of kiss was it?
FendeRFreaK698: a nothing one
FendeRFreaK698: barely grazed lips actually
GodivaGoddess13: ok
GodivaGoddess13: and is the person u kissed @ our school
FendeRFreaK698: my answer is simply maybe
GodivaGoddess13: mmm maybe...r u naked?
FendeRFreaK698: wtf?
GodivaGoddess13: lol n/m
GodivaGoddess13: almost 2 months...
FendeRFreaK698: hmm
GodivaGoddess13: well r u willing to forget this nightmare and move on? or do u want to end it here? i want one way more than the other but its all up 2 u
FendeRFreaK698: i dont know yet if i may ask a week alone to decide
GodivaGoddess13: ok thats ok w/e so we'er both single now?
FendeRFreaK698: atleast for now
FendeRFreaK698: i just need to think
GodivaGoddess13: k w/e....
GodivaGoddess13: poor nathan....
FendeRFreaK698: ??
GodivaGoddess13: natron1990: crap
natron1990: is she never on
GodivaGoddess13: lol wut
GodivaGoddess13: whpo steph
natron1990: wen does she come on
natron1990: yes
GodivaGoddess13: umm earlier
natron1990: her"sigh"

natron1990: CRAP!
GodivaGoddess13: wut now
FendeRFreaK698: w/e
FendeRFreaK698: Nobody's fault but mine
Trying to save my soul tonight
It's nobody's fault but mine


FendeRFreaK698 signed off at 9:05:42 PM.

Current mood: confused

Current music: right now im like w/e

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8:18PM - crying out

i sit here and think about wut u said to me in person and in writen words......i sit here and think but i dont shed a tear.....im just sitting here satring at this blank screen wondering wut u thought why u did it and wut will happen....i wut i got out of the note was u no longer cared for me....but wut u did i have little care for...i still care that u did it but....idk....no wonder u were so quiet....all i can say is nothing....im speechless....i thought we had something....i thought u loved me......i guess i thought wrong.....and even though u may not love me any more i have 2 say this one thing....i still love u... i still care but its alright if u dont fell that way anymore.....

Current mood: confused

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