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This Monkeys Gone To Heaven

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Can anybody hear me? [14 Sep 2003|11:25pm]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | Pink Floyd-Comfortably Numb ]

can hear my heart beat. It is rather loud. That can't be good? I am downloading some pink Floyd. I can't get the image of this creepy alien from Men in black 2 out of my head. And now I hear drums? What the hell? Hmm....Ok, I have a confession to make. I am high. I am sorry... This is my first entry that sounds like a stoner. But I had about a bowl of weed I found at the bottom of a few bags and some ressin and I really felt the need to turn off the lights, turn on my super sexxxxxy light that turns around and has stars and moons! And some insense. And of course music. Emiliana Torrini " To be free" is a great song.. Wow... Wow... I want her. ::bows head in same:: Yes yes yes yes YES... OK! You caught me! I like girls...alot. hehe clea! I also enjoy males.. But sometimes I am sure I like the females more... Men are so stupid but then I look at Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom and I want to just orgasam all over the fucking world.. And then I turn my head and oh look theres christina ricci and Rose McGowan and I also want to be with them but it is different with girls.. I like em though.. It's hard to explain. But there is someone I do like but I refuse to say who in fear of who might find out I like this girl.. A little birdie told me she has seen my journal....................................................::throws self into a big bucket of mustard and drowns:: Sorry, I got intense for a second there. No worries though I am ok now. I am just rambling on and sounding like a small child so I better go away possibly sleep since it is 11:11 on a school night... Nah, I need to take some quizzes! I think I am wearing a skirt tomorrow.. Erikah, if it is cold... I promise I will pee in your lemonade! :) Sorry, luv..... OK..... Relally goodbye now...

WAIT, wowowowowo I just figurede it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 OK, the lamp thing I have with the stars and stuff that spins was in a little headshop in breckinridge and I was like " hey I have that" and the fella workin asked where I got it because a lot of people like them but we cabn't find anymore." and I got mine at bed bath and beyound on dicount for 5 dollas. But ok.... I know why everyone in the head shop likes them,....... When you look up at the thing spinning and when it is stoppedon a cirtain angle it looks like a pot leaf. Weird, yes?

then the god is 7

So the moon sang a song [13 Sep 2003|10:07pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | KaZaa is makin me SO mad ]

look the same in so many pictures. A picture can say a thousand words? That's the saying right? Well, how come mine only say about....ONE!!!! But I like em. I took decent pictures tonight but believe me I got through 3t4372568 pics before one looks OK. Erikah's hair looks great. Mine looks goofy. But I kind of like it well... Enough with that here are some pictures!

Eat a sock )

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

OMFG ERIKAH!!! READ THE BOTTOM [12 Sep 2003|04:23pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Velvet Divorce-SNeaker Pimps ]

Velvet goldmine is such a GREAT movie... I have seen it 3775328 times I have rented it 23462374723 times... WHy I don't own it is beyond me... I wish I knew.. Anyone wanna buy it for me? :( Well my 16th birthday is coming up soon maybe I will buy it then. There's a few movies that I just lobe but for some reason I have yet to buy em.. Ew..Something smells funny in my room.. That's gross... Makes me feel gross. LIKE A PEPPERMIN! sorry, it's the music.... Someone is getting on my nerves lately.... Anyone wanna guess? Please use no names... Use examples ... y'know..? Ok, DBhebvdfhvefuveyuvdhyu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Cassandra is so beautiful.... Everytime I see her my heart just goes all intense.... I couldn't talk to her because I wouldn't be able to breath... Ok, since I am in a rare "giddy" mood I am just gonna say I am truly sad that I did not get a part in Hook. For quite a few reasons.. Everytime I think about it I get that sharp pain you get right before you cry ... You know when you get really sad for just a few sec. itt feels like " this is a dream" you want something so bad and don't get it and it just hurts like hell... I love Hook... It's one of those movies I just have a deep love for along with Never Ending Stry,Labyrinth... Anyways blah I feel funny.. I'm gonna go. Sneaker Pimps are fabulous.

OMGOMGOMG EriKAH... Guess fucking what???? Remember are talk about how if there were twins in Hook we would have gotten the part? Well guess what there are lost boy twins!!! I think Tommy Boyton and that cheerleader Val got the parts!!!!!! dfbdguudg Hahahahah I guessssssss we aren't twins,. :*(

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

die die die! [11 Sep 2003|08:12pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Gimme Danger- Velvet Goldmine Soundtrack ]

Boring shit about me )

then the god is 7

Bad Day [11 Sep 2003|07:52pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | How to Disapear completley-Radiohead ]

This is so far been the worst year of my life and today was one of the worst days of the worst years of my meaningless life..I don't think I have been this un-happy for wuite a while. I don't even know how to descirbe it. Being extreamly depressed is a very weird feeling for me. This whole day has been a dream. Although I will never wake up I just will slowly fade out of it. I'm getting sick of everything. Certains thoughts that cross my mind sound like maybe the right thing to do but I can't decide what is right and what is wrong anymore.

then the god is 7

Good job Rika [10 Sep 2003|09:06pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | KaZaa is bein stupid ]

Well it's over... Audition for Hook were today and I have mixed feelings about it all. Erikah and I both made call backs. I felt like I did pretty bad at call backs though..Gr... I'm nervous. I just want tos ee the cast list! WIsh me luck?

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

People just can't see [09 Sep 2003|05:47pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | sigur ros ]

Blah... It saddens me to hear that Henry might not be straight..... I start to really like a guy and he is gay... GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone's a little queer but why can't he be a little staright? He also hasn't been in class so far this week but he has been at school so I think he might not have the class anymore.. WOWOOWOWOWOWOOW He might be gay and he might not be in the class.... Perhaps It's just not meant to be....

ERICA QUOTE OF THE DAY " I think he's gay. But I think he likes you."

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

There is no spoon [08 Sep 2003|10:28pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | blah ]

made a new Christina Ricci icon. Not even close to as good as Erica's. I already miss my Edward Scissorhands icon that I made.. :( but I just need ALL Christina Ricci icons at the moment so... here you have it!

Ok, ummm... Just because... If you are capable of downloading music videos I think you NEED to download " Hell Bent"-Kenna because thatr is one of the most amazing videos I have ever seen. wow

then the god is 7

Green spray bottles [08 Sep 2003|10:14pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Maybe I should try listening to something different? ]

Is she weird? I she white? Is she promised to the night? )

then the god is 7

Today in acting I learned not all love is like romeo and juliet.... [08 Sep 2003|10:11pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | I bleed- Pixies ]

Well tonight me and my mom went to the thrift store and I couldn't find anything for regular days but I saw SO many great poofy, sexy, fantastical dresses!!! I saw one that was $9.99 and I LOVED it.. The plan is to wear it to homecoming. It's not in good shape but I LOVE it so much so yeah. Here it is!

then the god is 7

Good times [07 Sep 2003|12:20am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | nada ]

My best friend Erikah and me.

Click here for even more Rika and Deno fun! )

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

Wowowowowoow I hate people. [06 Sep 2003|11:41pm]
[ music | Sigur Ros ]

HIGHSCHOOL= Pass me a gun, please?
I wish people would just grow up.... )

then the god is 7

Too many freckles=FUCK U AUSTIN! [05 Sep 2003|06:22pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Pixies ]

Some new rules...... The only people aloud up intro my house are : Erikah, Elliott, and Matteo... Fucking I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad. I had $20 sitting up on a counter because my mom is going out of town this weekend.. Well, after school Elliott and Austin came over. I don't even like Austin that much but he likes to follow us. Well I think that little fucker STOLE the $20 and I am pissed. Because I know Elliott wouldn't. I just can't believe how rude people are// I would NEVER EVER steal money from someone who is nicve enough to let me into their home... GRRR fuckin GRR.. My brother is coming over tonight along with two of his friends ( Tony and Beth) and he is bringin some brewskies so I supposed I will drink away everything that's been bothering me. It's weird being around family when you are drunk and when theya re but I might just take a few beers in here and drink at the old computer. Melissa ( an old friend) once said I rely on weed for happiness. Maybe she is right.. Everytime I get really mad/sad about to cry I smoke.... It's just natrual for me to do that.. I really hate myself sometimes.. And Erikah can't sleep over :( Also, Erikah isn't home or online... GAH!!! :: hangs self in bathroom with dental floss::

then the god is 7

Rip out that bleeding heart of mine! [03 Sep 2003|07:20pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Only the gentle humming of my fan ]

The scariest thing about life is being locked in my own mind.. I can always hear myself thinka nd at night I only have me as company and it is really weird to just let my mind wander I think of so many things I shouldn't and so many things that make no sense I will forever be torture4d by my own thoughts....

Today was intresting.... It started out terrible I was not having a good morning and I broke out in tears on Erikah's shoulder. Then I guess thinsg picked up some but when I went to sendong period I wanted to just kick someone in the face because there's this girl Chelsea who is just beautiful but I can't fucking stand her!! She paints her nails in class, asks the dumbest questions, and everyone just loves her!! I get SO annoyed....................................................... WOW... I seriously hate Overland.

Traci is such a sweetie...

I wish I had the balls to talk to Cassandra. I really want to but I just can't. She is Cassandra. Cassandra has been almost like a celebrity to Erikah and me... She is just perfection. I wouldn't know what to say when perfection in staring me in the face.

Well I need to go do homework.

then the god is 7

So far from freedom [02 Sep 2003|10:16pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | ENya- I might not awake ]

I'm starting to hate who I have become...All I ever do is talk about how much I hatethe world and highschol.. I wish things were differently but I am just so sick of everything. I'm sick of people making me feel bad about my curiosity for girls... I'm sick of TRYING to be " right" for guys I like. I'm sick of everyone who is so fucking immature and stupid. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of mirrors. I'm sick of life. My mom thinks i'm doing fine.. I told her everything is ok.. I am supposed to go to my therapist on 9-11 but I told my mom to cancel because things are better.. Things aren't better though. Things are awful. I'm gonna start taking my pills again. Oh yeah just a sidenote I got stung by a wasp twice today....

then the god is 7

I bleed.... [01 Sep 2003|08:57pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | I bleed- Pixies ]

Finally, I am drinking a diet coke... About 2 hours ago I was so deperate for one I might have raped a pencil sharpener. My mom came home crying because Lonnie is an asshole. I don't know how to comfort her. I wish I knew what to say. So instead we went to Chipotle.. I got soft vegetarian tacos. I feel like writing so much. It is such an outlet on what has been my pathetic life lately but I think I am gonna go look at Christina Ricci pictures and wish......

then the god is 7

dcvdfs [01 Sep 2003|01:14pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | TOOL-HUSH ]

I hate people.....I love Erikah, Matteo, Elliott, my mum(sometimes), bros( sometimes) and maybe a few others everyone else can go fucking shoot themselves in the eyes and die... I want to chop off Lonnies( my mum's boyfriend) head! He doesn't need it.. Not like he ever uses what's inside of it..I'm so sick of this world I hope it ends soon... Well me and my mom aren't going to a movie today because instead she has to help Lonnie paint his house until 4 and I don't want to go to the movies at 4 because that is when I will be with my BEST friends.. So she can help Lonnie paint his house but then when she needs him he isn't there like whens he needed a ride to the airport " Get your own fucking ride" cool,..... Real nice fucking boyfriend and I love my mom but she is obviously too stupid to see that this " love" they are in is really BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope he dies a miserable death.

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

Some guy just told me girls with jet black hair are sexy.. [01 Sep 2003|11:43am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Enya-Sadness ]

* Well the time has come for yet another journal to be written in... This is a journal that so far only my Erikah knows about. I can't express true feelings in some jurnals because all the critisism I get. The goal is for this journal to be different. After about a week or two I think I will make it friends only.

Today I am gonna go see Pirates Of The Carribean with my mom.. THis will be my third time. I love the movie. Last weekend I insisted on telling her the whole story and now I am gonna take her to see it because try explainging Pirates of the carribean it's hard!!

Some guy just came to my door trying to sell magazines and earn points to go to college or s/t and he told me he was gonna come back here in a few years because girls ith jet black hair are hot. ( I have black hair) Cool, does he think he was getting somewhere?

People are so immature and stupid sometimes I just want to stab them in the face. I can't stand highschool and all the bullshit that comes along with it.

I will be getting some Christina Ricci icons soon thanks to Erikah!!!!!!!!11

if the man is five, and the devil is six then the god is 7

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