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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
| Saturday, November 21st, 2009 | ||
|
tescovee |
10:05p | Saturday I had a hard time deciding what to do with my day today. I finally settled on an invite to go to Sea World with some friends and their kids. After kidnapping a partner in crime, we headed out. Immediately upon arrival we noticed a theme...holiday cheer and all that. And as usual, pictures.     Now I've heard of Scuba Steve...but Scuba Santa? WTF?      Wait...WHAT? Isn't this how you load unruly kids into a car?  Oh...and for sticking around to see 'em all, I've included a bonus. For those of you who know me personally, you might fall out of your chair when you learn that I picked up a CAT at the Humane Society. Cool cat. Friendly as shit. Anyway, this cat has taken to a very entertaining passtime. It enjoys swatting the balls on my little tin doggy. Even though the sound of tin being tapped at three in the morning annoys, it's still worth a sleepy snicker.   Werd. Viola! |
| Friday, November 20th, 2009 | ||
|
tescovee |
6:28p | 'Tis The Season It's growing cold enough to justify this. In with the new. |
|
theotherhalf55 |
8:39a | its a lot harder than i thought. but im going to do it. |
|
goddess_bitch |
12:41a | girl talk I went to my friend's house for dinner. I was hanging with 2 girls that I always have a good time with. They kept me laughing all night long with their crazy stories about flipping a snowmachine, getting in a fight with one of the girl's boyfriends about it, going to the bar and getting wasted, going back to the other girl's place afterward, shaving the pubes off in the shower with the intention of going back to the bar and going home with that loser they rejected earlier after all, and then puking while shaving the pubes and then changing her mind, then the other girl puked in the bed all over all of them and they didnt even remember until they woke up the next morning, and the one girl suggested she go take a shower, and she was going to, til she pulled back the curtain and saw the pubes and vomit. hahahahahaa! All I could say after that story was, "tell me what you two were drinking so I can never drink that shit myself!" Then I forgot what it was. Oopse. And some other stories, like the one about the two fat girls at work talking about putting canned peach slices in their assholes for their dudes to eat out. Then we all speculated on how their assholes must be as big around as soup cans. I mostly howled with laughter and rolled around on the furniture. Girls get way raunchy with their talk when there isn't a man around. Even though I know this, it still didn't stop me from massively rejecting this guy that i'd been talking to when he accidentally texted me instead of his friend, addressing some dude I don't know, talking about me and how he wanted to eat my pussy and its all he could think about when we were together. I was like hell no...and i called him a pig and told him to lose my number. I could've been more understanding about the whole thing. But I didn't feel like it! I was so dissapointed in his lack of reverence for me, that he would talk about me that way! And that the whole time we were kicking it, he was just focused on my snatch! And then one of the girls got intense diarrhea and had to go home. Hahahahaha! What a fun night. I should mention, because its funny, that after not being able to decide what to wear, I showed up for dinner wearing a set of black thermal underwear(longpanties), a pair of huge men's snowboots, a stocking cap covered with patches that i stole from one of my more fashionably outlandish ex-boyfriends, topped off by my carhart jacket and my coach handbag. I stay fly. I got the swine flu vaccination and learned that they have mercury in them. Ick. I didn't relish the thought of mercury in my bloodstream, but I am worried about this illness becoming as rampant here in AK as I've heard it is in the states. The nurse who gave me the shot lost her baby grandaughter to it last month. I dont want to get that nasty shit. She said if you don't die, it will put you in bed for like 3 weeks, and you still won't feel %100 for a few months afterward. Fuck that! I fucked this guy in high school, brought him home when my dad was at work. After we were done, he didn't want to put his clothes back on, and he walked around my house naked for an hour or so. I have this image in my head of him sitting in my favorite chair, a pink poppassan chair, naked with this huge hard-on, eating a bowl of fruity pebbles. Then my dad's girlfriend came home unexpectedly and he had to leave through my bedroom window! Well, after about 15 years, he finds me on myspace the other day and that forgotten memory comes back to me. He wants to fly me back to Nashville, where he still lives, because he remembers laying in the grass at night with me and watching the stars, and how happy we were together. I remember nothing but the fruity pebbles incident! He wants to be with me, to feel that happiness again like he felt back when times were more simple and life wasn't so hard. I wouldn't mind going back to Nashville for a week or so, and it would be nice to rekindle....whatever we had. But- after so many things going wrong in my life when it comes to men, I just can't take adding another train wreck to that list. I am getting too old for this shit. That seems to be my motto lately. I've been saying that for about a decade now (haha!)---but only recently did that actually become a very truthful statement. I find that interesting, and oddly comforting.. |
| Thursday, November 19th, 2009 | ||
|
theotherhalf55 |
7:13p | learning. ive learned a lot about my self in the past week. ive learned a lot about you too. i read my last post, i still feel the feelings i felt that day. i still hate this and i still wish that everything can just go back to normal, and tomorrow ill be laying on your bed with you watching a movie that we rented. but the truth is that after all of this, we couldnt go back to normal even if we tried. and that is why im writing this. it took me until last night, wednesday night, to finally hit me that its over. to realize that, no, this is not a trial breakup or a break or just you freaking out. this is the end of everything we had. yesterday at school you were so nice to me, hugging me and asking me if i wanted my back cracked. i tried not to, but i got my hopes up that this was finally you realising that you had made a horrible mistake, and i asked you to stop by after school to pick up some of your stuff. i planned to be friendly, joke with you, sit in your car and let old times be old times, and then slowly let the gravity of the situation sink in. i wanted to get back together and end this hell that ive been going through this past week. but you showed up with erik in your front seat, you joked and laughed as i tried to keep my composure- i didnt want you to see how disappointed i really was. i gave you your controllers and you were on your way. dad is right, that was the moment that i knew this was the end, and thats why i got so upset. it was literally one of the worst days of my life. after talking with my dad, i really understood more about the entire situation. the first thing is that its unimportant why you broke up with me. its GW, you cheated on me, you dont love me, its all the same, it all means that we are done. what really matters is how you did it and how youve been acting ever since. after almost two years together, i didnt deserve a five minute phone call, ryan. i deserved something face to face, something with more emotion and more love than what you gave me. it took me a long time to realize how much of a pussy that really makes you, that you couldnt give me at least that. and ever since, youve sent me completely mixed signals. youre sweet to me, you want me to keep the whistle you made me, you want to crack my back. you text jessica things about me while im sitting there, talk about who is coming to your party, and talk about who youre hanging out with this weekend. ill never know how you are truely feeling about me and aboit our break up, but i have my theories. ive come to the conclusion that you are purposely trying to hurt me because im leaving you here. because im going to GW ad youre stuck here, and that hurts you. ryan, i KNOW that hurts you because youve cried about that to me, begged me not to leave while youre piss drunk at rubys house. i never thought that you would feel the need to punish me for that, but obviously you do. i also think that a part of you still wants me to want you. i dont know, but i hope that a part of you misses me too. a lot of me hopes that you are hurting at least as bad as im hurting, ill admit to that. maybe thats why you try to touch me and hug me and stuff, but dad thinks its because you still want power over me. regardless, i wont be letting you do that type of thing again. you hurt me more than i think ive ever been hurt before. i wish so much that i could rewind the clock one month and tell you how much i care about you- see if that makes any difference. but the reality is that i cant. that youve done what you did, and no amount of tears and sadness and desperation is going to bring the happiness, comfort, easiness back to us. i cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant concentrate on anything, and im running out of tears. i will always love you, but today im am going to try and let go. ive finally taken all of your stuff out of my house, ive deleted all our old texts. im not sure yet how ill handle having 6th hour with you, but ill figure it out. im not going to text you or call you anymore, im going to stop asking to hang out. all of this is somethign i deserved to tell you in person, but youre not going to give me that. so this is my final goodbye. thatnk you for everything youve been for me. thank you for being there when my grandma died, when me and ruby fought, when i was having rough days. thank you for taking my virginity, for taking me to zoolights, for writing me notes. i cant tell you how much im going to miss laying with you, going to movies, hanging out with your family, having sex with you. im sorry for breaking up with you last year and putting you through this, for almost choosing thomsen over you, for taking you for granted. but most of all im sorry that our three year relationship didnt mean enough to you to TRY and make it to college. because it meant enough to me to at least try. ive spent a week wishing, crying, hoping, trying. but im giving up, im moving on. goodbye. |
|
goddess_bitch |
12:58p | Hibernation I feel like a petulant princess, and this messy apartment is my castle. I will leave when I want to. I have everything I need. Everything I want. I'm good. Sharing this life with someone else would be cool. But a person like that is very hard to come by. |
| Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 | ||
|
scotch1221 |
8:55p | ::Sigh:: Off to bed with myself. |
|
cinnisugar_liar |
7:42p | ""Halfway Jim is, in no particular order, an irreverent wise-ass, a drug addict, a screw-up, a would-be enlightened Buddhist master, and a genius." -idlewilde |
|
glaciercrow |
12:06p | Bummer - No more Santa letters from North Pole The U. S. Post Office has put an end to North Pole's business and tradition of sending return letters to children who write to Santa Clause and discontinued the city's unique postmark. Letters sent to the community will now be postmarked Fairbanks or Anchorage. North Pole Mayor Doug Isaacson says the U.S. Post Office is "playing the Grinch". Isaacson says it's his understating that there was an incident in New York that made postal officials concerned about the safety of children from organizations that provide return letters from "Santa". He said post office officials never contacted him about how North Pole safeguards children from predators. Isaacson says it's his understanding that under the new procedure a postal worker opens the Santa letter and then calls the sender to make sure it's okay for someone to send a reply. The letter is then edited as a safety precaution and then sent to a group that provides replies to Santa letters. Northwest U. S. Postal Service spokesman Ernie Swanson says the tiny North Pole post office was getting overwhelmed with 700,000 to 800,000 requests a year. All letters addressed to Santa at North Pole, Alaska will now go to Anchorage. --- There is another North Pole in the U.S. That's North Pole, New York, which is the Post Office at Lake Placid, New York. |
|
tescovee |
8:41a | Decisions...Decisions... I need a new couch set...but i'm too lazy to drive to San Antonio to find them. This weekend would be perfect for such an excursion. Alas, I think I'd rather go camping. I really need a new couch set. |
| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 | ||
|
tescovee |
8:38p | Defensive Driving I'm not too sure about you, my road made for two. |
|
tescovee |
8:26p | It Was Written There's this poem that passes by from time to time, written with an air of cool detachment. I suppose I was around eighteen when I first laid eyes on it, first truly laid eyes on her. The unflinching brutality of that age did nothing to ease the pain of ignorance. I suppose the only thing that saved me was that very absence of awareness. For if I'd known how tragic and deadly the passing of time would be, I would have either consumed the author...or cashed in my chips. Behold the beauty of eighteen, and damn the cruel hand of circumstance! |
|
tescovee |
7:59p | Fire and Eyes New, enchanting music has a very important place in my life. Much in the way that a undergrowth-clearing fire can breathe new life into an aging forest. I feel quite comfortable with fire. |
|
cinnisugar_liar |
3:03p | so the health inspector came by he turned out to be pretty nice, actually. he told us about this neat little program called RUCO (rental unit somethingkdsoif....), which pretty much inspects houses before you move in. we'll be getting the full list of violations in the mail, but for now he told us if the house had been inspected before we moved in, we would never have been able to. also, they have 45 days to fix our house. suck it, Agent of Owner. |
|
cinnisugar_liar |
9:28a | this weekend, this week 1. pulled a muscle coughing 2. missed a party that included both Caroline, Milliya, and a lack of real clothing 3. had to get a cervix biopsy 4. that shit hurts, and now i'm bleeding randomly for the next three days 5. also no sex for ten days 6. a close friend got caught in a bunch of bullshit and could very well be sitting in jail right now 7. but i don't know for sure because no one is telling me anything 8. health inspector is coming by today; my home is no longer a private sanctuary 9. i have to write the last half of a psychology journal article by Thursday 10. fuck. do i have enough addy for this? 11. am i even well enough to take addy? also it turns out that my cat is allergic to my mom's house, but we've got no where else to keep her until we move out. which might take until January. goddamnit. |
| Monday, November 16th, 2009 | ||
|
tescovee |
5:23p | That's About It... The season is turning and the chill is getting the air crisp. This morning I took my cup of coffee out back and was met with a cool, brisk breeze. A cold front is expected today that will drop tomorrow morning's temperatures into the low thirties. In advance of this cooling trend is a restlessness, a desire to take things outdoors. So, today I chose to head into the hills in search of a good reading spot. After some hiking, and a subsequent jaunt into trespassing, I found the solitude I was looking for. I read, slept, read some more, slept...you get the idea. That's about it. That was my Monday. The following pictures will take you through it. Fall cabbage crop  En Route...       Time to ditch the car...      Finding the spot...complete with company   Walking out  The road home  |
|
drysuitrider |
12:50p | Emergency I had a flat tire yesterday, so I got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They are exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers. Cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road. Traffic starts backing up. Everybody is honking their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me. 'What's going on here?' 'My car has a flat tire,' I said calmly. 'Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?' I couldn't believe that he didn't know.. So I told him, 'Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers.' ******************************** |
|
scotch1221 |
1:32p | I was walking around the men's section in Macy's looking for Christmas presents when the smell from the cologne section hit my senses in an unexpected way. It made me crave a man to be able to kiss and lick his neck. I got so turned on I had to walk away. Ridiculous, really. |
|
princess_fuck |
1:55p | fresh, fresh, we want fresh! skinny puppy/vverevvolf grehv something weird happens to us in the days/weeks/months leading up to a Skinny Puppy show. it's like, for those few weeks, we can't see anything else. doesn't matter when or how long before the concert that we actually get our tickets, the countdown begins. and then, as the day draws nearer, we, surprisingly level-headed and calm, would discuss our plans more in-depth; how to organize our finances appropriately to furnish the drug stash; when to pick them up in relation to the show; who might come along or meet with us; and for me, what in the hell am i gonna wear? etcetera, ad nauseum. it's always in the back of my mind...which is exactly why i can never seem to stop blubbering incoherently about my favourite band, even more so, in those crucial weeks leading up to the event. then, when the show has finally come to pass, we'll be on a high for a couple more days, discussing song choices and happenings someone might have missed, before cold, unbearable reality sets in, and we trudge onward, as per the usual. i know, i know. it's all so very depressing and heartfelt. but no, really. you should see my Facebook status messages of the last few weeks. bloody despicable, i tell ye what--even for me. but i couldn't help it. i knew this, my third time seeing Skinny Puppy, almost five years to the day of my first seeing them, and almost twenty-four years to the day since their first touring gig for Bites at the Phoenix in Toronto--at the time known as the Diamond--was going to be oh so speshul. i could feel it rumbling attractively in my guts, and lower bowel. or, no, wait. that's just a conveniently timed fever, arriving mere days before the fact. oh, goody. flu, SARS, h1n1, scurvy, i didn't care if i was puking up my innards Captain Howdy style. i was going, of course, 102 degree temperature and projectile lung butter be damned. i woke up Friday morning (erm, more like afternoon) to find Denes smiling down upon me. i bolted upright, at least as quickly as i could um, bolt, considering. not this again... "mmmphfra? ...the fuck? you're not taking my picture again, are you?" "have you seen any of the SETLISTS?" he was practically shaking me. i held up a hand, letting him know that before i could respond to anything, i needed to clear the pipes ie. hack up my lungs and brain matter. "you know i don't read any of that stuff," i said once i was finished, examining the Kleenex for any unusual colours or species. "can i just tell you ONE THING?" i shrugged. "go for it." "ASSIMILATE!" i was excited to hear this, of course, as this is one of the songs i knew i had to hear live before i died, but any elation i felt was downplayed by this goddamned flu of mine. "nice," i said. "i'm sick. wake me up at four." indeed, it took swallowing about eight ibuprofen tablets as well as the abatement of, ahem, less legal options, to get me out of the house and into the....what is this? relatively mild? November evening, even though i was barely vertical and still picking crust out of my eyes. still, i felt better. in fact, i was SO relaxed, i passed out on the Subway along with Denes, and we missed our stop. by only one, but still. this has been happening to us more and more often these days. Denes always passes out on Subways, but I'M the one that's supposed to remain awake so we can get off at the right stop. at least, that's what i soon came to find. "why didn't you stay awake? this is all your fault." "shit babe, you DO know it's only one stop." but when we got off on Dundas cross to the other side of the platform, we found it was much more than that. there were no stairs leading us to the other side. the only way, it seemed, to get to the other side was to go through the turnstiles and have to pay again. but that couldn't make sense. it was like we were in a vaccuum. it was then that we saw the sign instructing us to get a transfer and take it to the other side and explain the situation, which we did, without a hitch. onward. we arrived at the club and it was only a short wait before the line started moving forward, and we were told to have our bags open and ID's ready. i got mine, of course, since i knew getting carded was an inevitability for me. but--guess what? I DIDN'T!!! fer like, the first time in my nearly 25 years. a bonafide miracle! you'd think that by now the drugs would have begun ravaging my good looks. alas... nothing at the merchandise booth besides clothing, not even a measly keychain, as we soon found out they left all that stuff in the States because it was too much of a hassle to bring it all through Canadian customs. having ordered t-shirts from an American website, i felt their logic. apparently, though, they were selling Last Rights on vinyl to anyone who knew the password--which was "Michael J. Fox"--courtesy of the Litany folks. but the merch guy seemed royally pissed off at anyone who even brought it up, ranting and raving, flingling flecks of spittle, cursing the website and swearing that "they'll have to take that posting down, THERE'S NONE LEFT you skull-fucking shit-eating MAGGOT" so ....that was that. Vverevvolf Grehv, true to my prediction, sucked royally, but if you ask me it takes some balls rocking out on stage like that as if you're some angry kid grounded to his room for OMIGAWD a WHOLE WEEK. he started his set with a robust howl into the mic, in which someone near us yelled "now THAT is the way to start a show!" but shortly thereafter we were all seemingly enrobed deeply in our own ennui. onward. we were pretty close to the stage throughout his set, but either the sickness or the drugs (couldn't tell which) started to make me feel really lightheaded, and i was secretly worrying how i was even going to make it through Puppy's set. i went to grab another water and on our way back we found a cool pocket about 15 ft. from the stage, underneath an air conditioner. i swear that was my saving grace, right there. the only issue with that spot was, it was hell trying to get any decent pictures. in fact, i got not a one. but i'm afraid i'm getting a wee bit ahead of myself. when i lights when out and i heard the opening strains of "Love in Vein" i nearly shat myself with joy. for the first time since i started seeing them Ogre emerged for the very first song, clad in an amusing hodgepodge of skeleton costume, doctors' lab coat, dunce hat, and walker. he hobbled about the stage as if in pain, and you actually believed him. sigh...what a showman. Justin Bennett, as i've come to expect, handled the stool duties (heh heh mm heh, stool duties) while cEvin Key took his spot, as is customary, on a high riser above the stage. as always, as the show progressed he shed various layers of his costume. for the second song, "Hatekill", he ditched the walker for a cane, granting him more mobility, but soon that was doffed as well and he stood on his own. by the time "Addiction" started my thoughts were confirmed: this was going to be one helluva show. it was a good crowd too, old-school, and for that i thank the legal age stipulation. damn kids. there was a glass cage to the extreme left of the stage, initially covered with white sheets, which Ogre stepped into to perform "Dogshit/Deadlines". it was also equipped with a monitor and a camera pointed at him so whatever he did in there was transmitted to the large screen on stage. speaking of which, the backing videos Skinny Puppy are so famous for were very simple but high on psychedelia, another regret of mine since i couldn't get a proper picture. ...for which i'm glad other people managed successful video/image captures, without which i might have trouble recalling specifics of the evening, what with seeing through my drug salad fog and all. after that, they got into some newer songs ("Politikil", "Pedafly" and later "Pro-Test" and "Ugli")--nothing from the as-yet-to-be-released new album--but i couldn't help but notice they sounded a bit, erm, weird, for lack of a better word. tinny, maybe. i had heard that they didn't bring their "fancier" equipment along with them on tour this time around, so that could have been the reason. personally i think it was the venue. i don't think they were outfitted for a band like Skinny Puppy, whether they played there twenty-four years ago or not. i'll say it before, i'll say it again: the Phoenix sucks, and are a bunch of assholes. take that, Phoo-nix. all was forgiven when "Rodent" broke out--another one Ogre performed from his glass prison, spurting blood on it's walls to the immense delight of an apparently bloodthirsty Toronto--which sounded amazing. as did "Morpheus Laughing" and the much awaited "Assimilate", in which Ogre donned the dunce cap once more and...i dunno, lit it on fire or something--because it was smoking at the top, see. of course, what's a Skinny Puppy show without "Warlock"(or for that matter, the homeless black man i always see outside the venue? let me be the first to say, that homeless black man has impeccable taste), which was the first encore, flanked by a live brap. "Far Too Frail" sealed the deal, and with a salute and a "thank you, Toronto" we were sent on our way. honestly, i would have tried to meet Ogre again this time around, and i heard he mingled with some fans after the show, but i was just too sick and wanted to get home as quickly as possible. so we did. onward. clearly, this was the best setlist of any SP show i've ever been to. despite the lack of any new material the whole affair felt fresh, very fresh indeed. sure, i wished the sound quality was better, but while it drowned the newerish songs out, when they played their older material i almost felt as if i was there, twenty-four years ago, in the exact same spot. mind you, i wouldn't even have been one year old, but i would have held my own, come hell or high water (or scurvy). for Skinny Puppy, anything. *cue Paula Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait"* Current Mood:  sick |
| Sunday, November 15th, 2009 | ||
|
tescovee |
10:33p | Anticipation Love In Vein as a possible show opener? Magnificent. Utterly magnificent. |
| Saturday, November 14th, 2009 | ||
|
theotherhalf55 |
5:35p | i just dont understand. i thought we were so happy together. i cant even think straight, because nothing makes sense. how does 2 and a half years end with him dumping me because im going to GW. im not even accepted and already hes moving on to bigger and better. i love him so much, and the last thing i want is for him to leave. i just dont understand how he can do this. i dont understand how he can break up with me. we were so happy. it was so good. we didnt fight like caite and erik, and i THINK i wasnt a crazy girlfriend, and we had great sex, and i loved him and he loved me. so why is this happening? i just want to be with him, and he wont answer my texts. i dont even feel like this is hard for him at all. he seems pretty happy at school and if he didnt want this he would undo it. this is fucking killing me, this is fucking killing me. i jut dont understand. ryan i love you so much. undo this before we cant just go back to normal. please. i cant stop crying long enough to feel better. i jsut want you back. please. NOV. 12 was the worst day of my fucking life. |
|
tescovee |
1:12p | Trip Log In Images I split my house on Tuesday. I arrived at the coast three and a half hours later. I was aware of a loose agenda. What went down didn't church it up at all. The following are the random, on-the-fly pictures that made it back. Word.   Time to hunt...    Thoroughly worn out retriever         GREAT Thai          Heading Home...  |
| Friday, November 13th, 2009 | ||
|
princess_fuck |
5:53p | best ever! friday....THE THIRTEENTH!!!!!!! we're leaving for Skinny Puppy in about cinq minute...MEGLOfgssusRKi! i trust that i won't stop talking about it for a week straight, so expect a long-winded and deleriously laudatory journal entry to follow shortly--that is, once my brain fully recovers. Current Mood:  rushed |
|
clown_dust |
9:28a | I have this odd pain. It's right in front of my stomach. It's more of an ache when I move my upper body. It's right below my chest, right in front my stomach. Already said that.... um.. yeah, it's annoying to say the least. Just started hurting when I got up to go walk across the office. Thought maybe I got up wrong or something. I can sort of feel it if I breath in deeply too. Hope it goes away. |
| Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 | ||
|
theotherhalf55 |
10:24a | im scared. i dont know why but right now i have this feeling in my gut that something is wrong with ryan. hes been acting weird ever since i got back. i know im being super paranoid but i saw that picture with him and paige at the fair and it makes me soo nervous. i should never have been such a bitch yesterday, all i want is to see hin right now. i just got so pissed off at him over so much, its because im so stressed out and upset about my mom. pleassse call me ryan. |