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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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"Just Looking" by the Stereophonics |
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Once Upon A Time, there was a Little Girl who lived in a big white castle with black shutters.
A Little Girl who waited for some kind of Prince to ride up to the yellow door and take her away. A Little Girl who, I think, made this castle her world. See, now the living room was a street market in India. Oh, her parents' bedroom is a stage in France where thousands came to watch her dance now. A sort of transubstantiation has happen to the basement, becoming a run-down stone cottage on a Scottish moor.
This Little Girl watched out the window as her brother went to soccer games. This little girl watched the changing seasons, her whole little world full of wonderful. The Little Girl ran her dolls along sidewalks still dusted with chalk in little doll carriages.
Her costumes were small, but numerous. She was one of those who could never be caught wearing the same outfit twice. She made so many permutations of sweatshirts, Belle costumes, leotards, College for Kids shirts, Dance costumes, and T-Shirts that everyday was fresh.
The birds always sang from the windows, but the Little Girl never took time to listen.
She listened to Dramatic Songs, Dramatic People, and Dramatic Things. Drama was her sun.
But somewhere along the line, from watching her brother leave, to finally listening to the birds' song, she found that being Dramatic was not was life was about. The Little Girl finally realized that the Drama (with a Capital D) had been so important because she was Lonely (with a Capital L).
The games, the never-ending pretend of being something else snapped like a twig.
But, children, this Little Girl found a way to glue herself back together as if she was a China Doll. But the glue was not strong enough. She told herself, If I can get to the Good Witch, she'll give me glue that's strong enough.
"Where can I find the Good Witch?" the Little Girl asked her Father.
"The Good Witch is hidden, somewhere deep in a cave they say," her Wise Father answered.
"I must find her!" cried the Little Girl.
So the Little Girl traveled far and wide to find the Magic Glue, but no one could tell her where the Good Witch was. She searched valiantly, trying so hard to find it, needing to be put back together. After many years of searching, the answer was still not in her grasp. The Good Witch was hidden well.
But the Little Girl had Hope (with a Capital H).
One day the Little Girl found a another girl on the road. The Other Girl said she had nothing to do, so she would travel with the Little Girl. This made the Little Girl happy. She had finally found a friend.
Another day, when the Little Girl and the Other Girl were wandering, it started to rain.
"Oh no," said the Little Girl, "I do not want to be rain upon."
"I spy a little cave that way," the Other Girl pointed, "We should go in there to escape this Awful Rain."
As they went in they knew they were not alone.
"Who's there?" asked the Little Girl in the darkness
"It is only me," a whimsical voice replied.
"And who are you?" the Other Girl asked.
"My name is Marie. They call me the Good Witch."
"The Good Witch!" cried the Little Girl, "You can help me!"
"How can I help you?" asked the Good Witch.
"I need you to make me some Magic Glue, for I am afraid I have shattered, and need to be fixed," the Little Girl told her.
"Little Girl, you do not need me to fix you. Only you have the power to fix yourself."
"But I do not know how!" the Little Girl exclaimed.
"You have it in you, Little Girl. Go now, the rain has stopped, and you will find The Way to fix yourself."
The Little Girl and the Other Girl left the cave, wondering. And, sure enough, the rain had stopped.
"I have to go home," the Other Girl said, "My parents will be worried about me."
The Little Girl and the Other Girl parted. The Little Girl was sad to leave the Other Girl, but knew that she had to find The Way.
As the Little Girl returned home she still wondered how to find The Way. The Little Girl tried different ways to find it. First, she tried something they called God. She was told God could show her The Way, but still she could not find it.
Then she tried Family. Maybe Love (with a Capital L) of her Family could help her find The Way. But even Love could not do it. Even Smiles (with a Capital S) of real mirth could not give her The Way.
Discouraged (with a Capital D), the Little Girl tried Words (with a Capital W). She tried to read and sink herself through Words to a world where she did not need the Magic Glue, or The Way. She wrote them, creating her own world, telling her own story of when she was not broken.
Sometime, the Little Girl thinks as she listens to the birds, she will find The Way.
And then she will live Happily Ever After.
(x-posted to my LJ)
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indescribable
blank
artistic
blah
apathetic
cheerful
bouncy
mellow
aggravated
restless
pissed off
listless
nerdy
calm
thoughtful