Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Gary K Schubert Jr's Blurty:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
10:08 pm	A great poet once said, "CHA CHA CHA CHANGES TURN AND FACE THE CHANGE." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
5:54 pm	Whatever... sigh I wish that those kids did not act so stupid and immature in school. I realize now that I am very different fron all of them, an island onto myself. I enjoy intellectual conversation with people not the childish bullshit that goes on. I sit alone most of the time and read, write poetry or just think about stuff. I tired of everybody telling me how I need to have sex and get drunk and go to the prom. But they all say it's so great, well I guess I'm not "one of the boys." This is why I really miss seeing Michelle, Shaina, and Rick. I still wish Rick lived in Bayonne. They were real people. Real to me at least. I hung out with Pat and Rich for my birthday. Rich bought me a DVD which was cool. Today Nora gave me her graduation picture. She wrote on the back of it that we have been friends for over 10 years! I really happy that she thinks about me after all this time. Nora will always have a place in my heart. I've literally grown up with her. and that's the bottom line cause g-money said so!!! -Gary Current Mood: lonely Current Music: I Don't Know by Ozzy Osbourne (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
8:00 am	The last couple of days have been really wierd. They've been a major mental strain on me. The othe night I was watching Friends and my mom walks into the room. She starts telling me that it would be really good if I got married!! Why? She said to carry on my last name. Therefore, she wants me to have kids as well. I was explaining to her that it was a really bad idea because if I make it to the WWE I'll be traveling all the time. I would not be able to see them. But she was like "If you find the right woman maybe you'll do something else with your life." No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why does love have to take away the only thing I've ever believed I could do well and have a passion for. I thought about alot of things that night being that I could not sleep because of the lightining. How Shaina was doing, my dreams, hopes and other crap and going over to Ricks. The world is a scary place God Damnit! Gary Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Hello by Evanescence (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 10th, 2004
6:30 pm	All Hell's Breaking Loose On Saturday I went to Dana Levin's party. It was fun but I wish those people acted more like adults and have real conversations. But I talked to Mrs. Kawalek for a while. I respect her as a teacher but I can be her friend too and that's cool. I'm really glad that Shania came. She showed alot of courage by doing that. I think she had the same I don't act like these people feeling that I did. I talked to John for a while which was good too. Everyone was kind to me though so I can't complain too much. I went to see Van Helsing with Rich which was pretty cool. But other than that yesterday sucked. Today at school, I almost got into fist fight with this kid because he was running his mouth and made fun of my friend's artwork and said he would never amount to anything. So I got pissed and told him to shut up then dared me to hit him but I didn't. I was flamming! You don't ever mock someone's dream you fucking asshole!!! Well that's my yo-yo- of a life. Unfortunatly the yo-yo does not go up too often. -Gary Current Mood: indifferent Current Music: The Fight Song :by Marilyn Manson (Comment on this)
5:49 pm	Tonight's RAW Raw is going to be incredible tonight!!!! Raw of the year here is the lineup: TRIPLE H VS SHELTON BENJAMIN RANDY ORTON VS EDGE BATIESTA VS TAJIRI EUGENE'S DEBUT VS ROB CONWAY CHRIS JERICHO VS CHRISTIAN IN A STEEL CAGE OH HELL YEAH!!! (Comment on this)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
6:48 pm	Losing Interest in School I've been feeling very not care-ish if you will about school lately. I know that it's almost over and it's not like I just want to get the Hell out of there. I enjoy going to school because my life is pretty dull outside of it. Seeing people that I do not normally hang out with. I also want to learn and my teachers are pretty cool. But my mind has been consumed with many other things. Mrs. Kawalek is like the only person that continues to interest me. We talk alot, she's a really good teacher. But every other class, I just read my Steve Austin autobiography and think about what i want my life to be. I ask myself everyday if I can really make it as a broadcaster in WWE. Am I stupid for wanting this so badly? I think about people cheering for me one day. I would love it so much if I inspired a person to look up to me and want to work hard and be the best at what they love. To be a good role model, and of course my friends and family to be proud of me. Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, The Undertaker, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero have inspired me through their hard work. Wrestling has shaped me as a person and I hope to give back to it someday. -Gary Current Mood: numb Current Music: Bleeding Me by MetallicA (2 Comments |Comment on this)
5:51 pm	Losing Interest in School I've been feeling very not care-ish if you will about school lately. I know that it's almost over and it's not like I just want to get the Hell out of there. I enjoy going to school because my life is pretty dull outside of it. Seeing people that I do not normally hang out with. I also want to learn and my teachers are pretty cool. But my mind has been consumed with many other things. Mrs. Kawalek is like the only person that continues to interest me. We talk alot, she's a really good teacher. But every other class, I just read my Steve Austin autobiography and think about what i want my life to be. I ask myself everyday if I can really make it as a broadcaster in WWE. Am I stupid for wanting this so badly? I think about people cheering for me one day. I would love it so much if I inspired a person to look up to me and want to work hard and be the best at what they love. To be a good role model, and of course my friends and family to be proud of me. Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, The Undertaker, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero have inspired me through their hard work. Wrestling has shaped me as a person and I hope to give back to it someday. -Gary Current Mood: numb Current Music: Bleeding Me by MetallicA (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
9:49 pm	It's Been Awhile Spring Break was pretty cool. I went to Rick's for 4 days where as usual we did a whole bunch of wrestling stuff. It was a kick ass time. But then the weather sucked. But the family went to the Broadway Diner which was good because I love to eat. I hung out with Rich and Pat last night and we all watched WWE Raw together. We just talked the whole time but it was cool cool to see Benoit and Edge win the tag titles. Benoit how has 2 gold belts!!! I bought the new Fear Factory album: Archetype and it is awesome. I'm going to be starting a new book entitled The Stone Cold Truth by Steve Williams a.k.a. Steve Austin, should be infomative on the wresling business. Other than that, nothing too great has happened. But I shall continue to go my wrestling Dream for inspiration. It's my world and you can't have it! -Gary Current Mood: good Current Music: My World by MetallicA (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 26th, 2004
10:54 pm	Make The Pain Go Away I can't recall a time when I was this sad. This whole week has destroyed me on inside. I could not focus on anything. I can't take this emotional shit. I almost cried during 4th period today. Besides that, Shaina had to go to the nurse today because she was not feeling well. She had a headache which only reminded me of what my brother is going through. Hopefully she is ok. I really hope that my brother gets well. He damn sure does not deserve everything that he is going through. Sometimes I wish that I did not worry so much and give my psyche a rest. But I have to care because everyone does so much for me that I could never do for them. Shaina, Michelle, Rick, Rich, Sean, Jason, Cosmo, Dana, Sara, James, my famliy and every other person who has ever helped me out. I need them much more than they need me and I will never be able to make it up to them. Is it too much to ask for people to be happy? I guess I'll never be truly at peace. The pain will never stop and I don't think there is anything that can surpress it. My mom asked me what was wrong and I told her. But being the parent, she just blew it off and did not care. Of course she did not because she gave the old feel nothing and pretend everything is ok bullshit. I've always known that I can't talk to my parents about inner feelings about anything or anyone. They'll blow it way out of proportion. Sigh... Crying makes me feel really stupid and worthless. Just like the day that I cried because Shaina was leaving Bridge but noone in the group seemed to care, even though I explained how much she meant to me. I hate showing weakness, but I cannot help it. Everything is going wrong, there will never be hope in my heart because I'm not Optimistic. I'm sorry to diappoint and let you guys down. Please don't hate me. You my friends, are the greatest and most important thing that I have. Make me feel better... -Gary Current Mood: very sad and depressed Current Music: It's Been Awhile by Staind (2 Comments |Comment on this)
10:47 pm	hatred SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THE WORLD CAUSE I WANT TO GET OFF!!! THERE'S TOO MUCH HARDSHIP AND TOO MUCH PAIN. THERE'S TOO MANY MOTHERFUCKERS TRYING TO GET TO MY BRAIN!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
9:18 pm	WHY? I feel so bad. The pain increases but yet never goes away. The worst kind of pain is watching the people you care about suffer. All I want to know is why does this happen? Bad thing happen to good people. Why? I want to be happy but I care too much. Shaina said that I have to have hope but I am afraid. Afraid of losing everyone, afraid of being alone, afraid of failing and disapointing people. Why? Shaina said "Gary, I hope that your brother grows up to be half the man that you are." Am I really that great a person? I just try to be a genuine caring friend. I wish that I could make things better for people. But I need them more than they need me. Sometimes I want to cry. But I can't because crying shows weakness. Am I really as strong as people say? I think I should give Michelle and Shaina a call, maybe they can help me feel better... And by the way, Thanks Rick! -Gary Current Mood: crappy Current Music: Prodical Son by Kid Rock (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 22nd, 2004
8:19 pm	People Fucking Suck Today was for the shits. First thing in the fucking morning some rotten bastard decided to make a bomb threat. I was already pissed off because I have to memorize a 20 line speech from Shakepeare. Then 4th period, there is more fucking assholes than I can count because another one pulled the fire alarm. Yea I really feel safe in that school. The world cannot be protected from people, especially the really dumb fucks. If ignorance is bliss than stupidity is Heaven. No fucking politian is going to make this world any better. Unless a machine called the Dumass dector is invented. The fun stops here. The weekend was pretty cool because I got to hang out with Michelle but this going to be a long and fucking miserable week. Son of a bitch! Current Mood: infuriated Current Music: Suicide Note Part 1 by Pantera (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:55 pm	People Fucking Suck Today was for the shits. First thing in the fucking morning some rotten bastard decided to make a bomb threat. I was already pissed off because I have to memorize a 20 line speech from Shakepeare. Then 4th period, there is more fucking assholes than I can count because another one pulled the fire alarm. Yea I really feel safe in that school. The world cannot be protected from people, especially the really dumb fucks. If ignorance is bliss than stupidity is Heaven. No fucking politian is going to make this world any better. Unless a machine called the Dumass dector is invented. The fun stops here. The weekend was pretty cool because I got to hang out with Michelle but this going to be a long and fucking miserable week. Son of a bitch! Current Mood: infuriated Current Music: Suicide Note Part 1 by Pantera (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 18th, 2004
11:18 pm	What a Hell of a Day Today I feel loved. I feel appreciated. I just feel wonderful. School went smoothly, Peer was actually pretty fun, and best of all I hung out with Shaina today. When I am with her life does not get any grander. After peer was over she picked me up and we went to McDonals. Than I walked her home. I'm amazed at the connection that we have. It's great to have someone that you can talk to about anything and still want to say more. I wish other people saw her the way that I do. But then again, that's what makes our friendship so special. I'd rather have Shaina than most of the other people in that school. SmackDown was even better than usual, Eddie Guerrero defended the title against Rey Mysterio and I got to see Undertaker! I also hung out at Gamers Heaven and chilled with the owner. In closing, I think I will run for Mayor because it's about someone improved this town. I want Shaina to be my running mate because together we will revolutionize this town and kick some ass!!! I truly love that beautiful Shaina... -Gary Current Mood: happy Current Music: Miss You In A Heartbeat by Def Leppard (2 Comments |Comment on this)
10:37 pm	What a Hell of a Day Today I feel loved. I feel appreciated. I just feel wonderful. School went smoothly, Peer was actually pretty fun, and best of all I hung out with Shaina today. When I am with her life does not get any grander. After peer was over she picked me up and we went to McDonals. Than I walked her home. I'm amazed at the connection that we have. It's great to have someone that you can talk to about anything and still want to say more. I wish other people saw her the way that I do. But then again, that's what makes our friendship so special. I'd rather have Shaina than most of the other people in that school. SmackDown was even better than usual, Eddie Guerrero defended the title against Rey Mysterio and I got to see Undertaker! I also hung out at Gamers Heaven and chilled with the owner. In closing, I think I will run for Mayor because it's about someone improved this town. I want Shaina to be my running mate because together we will revolutionize this town and kick some ass!!! I truly love that beautiful Shaina... -Gary Current Mood: happy Current Music: Miss You In A Heartbeat by Def Lepard (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
10:13 pm	Heaven vs. Hell it's a draw This past weekend was incredable! I went to see my future college at the St. Peter's Brunch and took I tour of the place. It was pretty nice. Rick came over for the weekend which great. On Sunday I had the big Wrestlemania 20 party in the basement. It was Fucking awesome! Rich ordered 5 pizzas and all of us just went to town on the stuff. The best parts of the night were when The Undertaker made his return and when Chris Benoit finally fulfilled his dream by winning the world heavyweight title!!!! I went absolutly insane during the proceedings! I even did my signature HBK Shawn Michales dance. Too bad Michelle did not get to see it. However today was a much different story, everything that could go wrong did. Life was just one gigantic asshole. Stuff that hurts too much to write down. But this is why I will never take anyone for granted. I'm tired from writing my Hamlet report which I finally get to hand in. But now I am happy because I will be able to hang out with Shaina on Thursday. I'm looking foward to it. -Gary Current Mood: blah Current Music: Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by MetallicA (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
11:30 pm	There's alot goin on Today was not that bad. I've been working all day on this Hamlet paper for English class. It's due on Monday and the funny thing is that I have not even written it yet, and I have a test tomorrow on a whole bunch of stories; it sucks. But at least nobody pissed me off like yesterday when some asshole pushed me down while I was on my way to 4th period. He just walked by me after he did it. If I had better balance that would not have happened to me. I hate having Cerebral Palsy! Anyway, Shaina made me laugh today because she said that I should get my tongue pierced! I said "really!?" and she said "no I was wondering what you would say." Shaina is always the best part of my day. I talked to Rick after school about what was going to happen at Mania 20 and discussing our plans for the Big weekend. Now I have a test to study for, and I have to get Shaina back{Ha Ha!! -Gary Current Mood: busy Current Music: Low Man's Lyric by Metallica (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
11:02 pm	Thankyou so much Today was great. I found out that I am defanatly going to St. Peter's college and that I will only have to pay $3,000 per year! Finally some salvation. But I just need to say thankyou to Michelle for our wonderful friendship. You were always there when I needed to talk to someone, especially at 3:00 A.M. You always make me laugh and you have guided me all year. You calm me, and take my mind off of everything that is going on because I am distracted by your crazy head games. I may not show it all the time because we don't see each other but I do love you. I also have to thank Shaina for everything she done for me. When I am with her I am at peace and that is hard to find. You always told me that everything would be ok. Thankyou for that much needed reassurance. I will never forget either of you. Thanks for everything!!! Thanks Everyone who ever helped me or made my life better, I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay this debt of gratetude. To Shaina my beautiful Angel who I need to protect me, love and cherish... and to Michelle my true partner in crime who's number I have on speed dial, YOU ARE 2 OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET! I LOVE YOU TWO SO VERY MUCH!!!! Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Angel by Aerosmith (Comment on this)
Monday, March 1st, 2004
8:35 pm	I Still Love Shaina Today was an improvement from my shitty weekend. In Criminal Justice I had a test but after that Shaina and I had one of our lovely conversations. During that, I gave her a thankyou note anyway. She asked me if I still loved her and I said "Of course I do." She said that I could say bad thing about her if I wanted. I will never ever even think about doing such a thing!!! I love her more than anything in the world. I will never care what other people think about her. All I know is that when we are together, I am happy. I just LOVE her so much, I don't know if my words can fully explain it. It sucks that we do not have class the next 3 days. If Shaina ever reads this, I just want to tell her that I need to in my life always. I will love you forever... Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Patience by Guns N' Roses (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 28th, 2004
11:55 pm	Mixed Emotions I feel very happy, sad, and disappointed at the same time. Is that possible, or am I just fucked up? Anyway I am happy because on Thursday I got to hang out with Shaina and she came over my house for the first time. We watched Hurculies together and talked about all kinds of stuff. She makes all my pain go away. She makes me fell like a normal human being. When I'm with with her I feel free because she loves me although I am disabled. Noone outside of my family ever said I love you to me before I met her. Shaina means everything to me. I love her with everything that I am. I'm disappointed because on Friday I got the lowest test grade of my life. I got a grade of 9 on a geometry test. I suck at math and I fucking hate it! Than 6th period in English class we talked about the 9 Circles of Hell, ironic isn't it? I'd like to send that math shit to the bottom circle!!! Saturday was not too great either because I went to St. John's tour of the campus and it totally sucked... They should have way more because they were asking for so much money, $30,000 per year!!!!!! That's way too rich for my blood, I'll pass and try another school. But I am sad because of this dreadful situation. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Wonderful Tonight: by Eric Clapton (1 Comment |Comment on this)