: Not another word from Kari
I didn't hear another word from Kari since that email telling her I will be sure let Jess know that any family plans have to go through her. However, I have been corresponding with his mom and not all of that has been pleasant, but here it is:
to JMom
Sep 1
Hey Mom,
Wow, I was reading in the news today about the Hurricane Katrina refugees arriving in Dallas. What an impact!! Are you seeing it there in Canton, too? I wish I could help from up here.... I feel so bad for the people who are homeless now. They have it so much worse off than Jess and I did after the fire at Christmas. We at least had a place to go and quick help in getting onto our feet. I was reading that people down there with money available to them can't even rent a hotel room because so many are making reservations to stay in a warm safe place. I cannot imagine what is going through their minds. I'm reminded of Jess standing there in the street, looking at the smoldering trailer saying, "Okay, let's go back to the tournament." And me telling him, "Jess, how can you do that? We're HOMELESS right now" and the stunned look on his face... followed by a quiet "We can't come back and sleep here tonight?" He was just blown away by the thought. Boo was just devastated with losing her kitten, her ferret, her clothes, her stuffed animals, literally almost everything in her room.... She couldn't sleep for two weeks.... I can't imagine those poor people down there, with nothing but what they could carry - or fit into their cars if they were so lucky to leave with one. I wonder how many of them are going to stay moved away.
Wow, I don't think I've talked to you this much in ages. I should let you go now to whatever you were doing before you checked your email. I'm really looking forward to meeting you when you get here. I'm a bit disappointed that we're not allowed to buy your ticket the one time of the year we'll have money to do it, but I'm not into making the family upset, especially when it's Jess's family. Everything I do is for Jess, as I think you probably already know... This is the second time I've tried to get the two of you together. Remember when I called you to ask what airport to use for a Christmas ticket for Jess? LOL, we weren't even going out then! I just wanted to make him happy. And seeing you next year will make him very very happy. I can't wait to see his smile when he gets to hug his mom again!!!! And I bet your smile won't be much smaller!!!!
Okay, Boo needs the computer... I'm going now, I swear!
Hugs from here,
Me
Paula M
to me
Melissa
Yes we have many refugees from the hurricane here. Last night after working from 7 in the morning till 8 at night I went and help serve families and 250 National Guard that camped here last night as they are on their way to New Orleans. It is a very sad. Most people have lost everything and have no where to go. They have lost their homes, friends, jobs, have run out of funds, and in some cases have lost loved ones. Their lives will never be the same. There is about 18,000 housed in the Astro Dome in Houston and 11,000 with more coming at Reunion Arena is Dallas.Yesterday we had 60 plus families with more coming here.
Melissa as I understand it your daughter has become best friends with the "little bitch" that put my son in jail. How in the name of all that is good and decent can you allow that to happen. Do you not have the good sense to know that she is nothing but trouble. She can not be a good influence on Boo and I know she is nothing but trouble for Jess especially when he gets out. If you love Jess the way you say you do then I would think you would do everything in you power to prevent that from happening and get the situation under control.
Have to get to work
MOM
Me H
to Paula
8:03 am (14 hours ago)
Hey Mom,
I cannot imagine the agony all those people are going through.... the numbers you listed are just astounding, the entire size of Juneau is temporarily housed in the largest buildings near you. I wish we were closer so I could do more. I heard about the email notification line and wish I could help with that from up here. A small token to send people emails that their missing loved ones are okay. Today the Red Cross is collecting monies down at Foodland.
As for Boo, she's not friends at all with Jess's instigating victim. Boo is friends with friends of hers... one of Jess's classmates is even friends with her. There's a lot more to the story than that, but I know people can only judge on what is told to them. Its a small town and the girl has made it her focus to find out everything about Jess that she can. She even researched where we live and who is in his family. Needless to say, Jess and I are pretty fearful about her obsessive actions. Boo has been subjected to contact by her several times. The incident KJ was talking about also included mention that the victim's father has a friend working in the jail keeping a close eye on Jess for them. Its not a nice scenario. I don't know if anything she told Boo is true after all the things I have heard about her in the community. I have discussed with Boo the possible necessity of getting a stalking protective order from the courts against her. We have talked to Jess's attorney about the future and have been assured that if the behavior continues after he gets out of jail, the probation officer will be able to help us.
One of the reasons this has not been discussed is because Jess doesn't want his family (mainly you) to be put through any more anguish than they have already suffered. Its not a situation that bears any pride for him, its not a good situation even before this little hussy continued her normal behavior. Like I said, there's more to the story.
I'm off to court now. I wish you good sleep when you finally go home after all the hours you put into your day. I'm so very proud of you for your volunteer efforts!
Hugs,
Me.
Paula M
to me
10:29 am (11 hours ago)
Melissa
I can assure you that keeping information from me will only result in more worry and frustration on my part. Besides that I will find out eventually. I guess what you do not understand is that Jess talks to Troy, Kari and me (through mail) about everything. Both my sons grew up knowing that they can discuss anything with me. Kari has become like a daughter and does not even think of keeping information from me
I did not say or even imply that KJ had anything to do with this. She had nothing to do with what I said to you. Don't forget that I lived in Juneau for almost 10 years and I know people up there too. You are Jesse's wife and he said he loves you. As such I told him that what has gone before is water under the bridge and I would accept you as a part of my family and as his wife. I will tell you that if you do anything to hurt my son or any of my family there will not be enough space on this planet for you to hide because I will make your life a living hell. I am not a weak old woman and there is nothing more important to me than my family. So the choice is yours it is that simple you can be a part of our lives or not.
Having said that I hope we can have good relationship. It is up to you.
Have to get back to work.
MOM
Me H
to Hubby, Paula,
12:46 pm (9 hours ago)
Hey Mom,
Well, its a shame that you feel you have to tell me to be good to your family or you will make my life a living Hell. Thank you for the warning. I have tried to start a new relationship with you on good terms and sincerely feel from the warning you issued that the water is still flowing under the bridge for you. I believed that my attempts to correspond with you were an indicator that I was trying to be a part of the family and apparently they were not received as such. I have been trying to be a part of this family by talking to you, and by offering to buy you a ticket to come visit Jess. I now feel that these actions have counted for nothing.
Jess and I have had several conversations about the differences in our families, and maybe its time to explain something to you. Yes, Jess has made it clear that his family talked about everything and there were no secrets. Its amazing that he had a family that could do that and I am envious. I was an only child. I grew up in the focs'ele of a boat, and when I wasn't closed in down there, I was on the back deck working. I home schooled myself until high school. I had no teachers, no classmates, no social interaction whatsoever. I had myself for company. The idea of sharing with a family is completely alien to me. Just ask Jess, getting me to voluntarily share anything is an eyetooth experience. My small experience of sharing with this family has been a total disaster to date, so I have been tenative about talking. Besides, Jess does enough of that for both of us.
My life after getting into high school wasn't much different. I was in the foc'sele of the boat doing homework. I wasn't allowed to go to friends' homes until my parents met them, and I couldn't bring them home to meet my parents because Dad worked the night shift and slept during the times they could come home with me. Therefore, I had a very isolated life. My thoughts were my own, my voice was seldom used, I didn't have anyone to practice talking to. I have the same problem at work. I'm not anti-social, I'm just unskilled and don't trust very easily, especially after being hurt.
I'm glad you still know people in Juneau. I'm amazed that any of them would know who Boo is since that is what you implied in your email to me. Its also amazing to me that any of them would see Boo in public with this w----h and recognize both of them. Jess was quite clear to me that the incident causing worry was relayed to Troy and Kari by KJ and that is what I presumed you were talking about when referring to Boo and the w----h. I'm terribly sorry if that is not what you were talking about and I assumed your source of information incorrectly. I have no reason to believe you lie when you say KJ had nothing to do with what you said to me about Boo being seen with the w----h.
Now I have to go eat my lunch, since my lunchtime is almost over. Thank you for your honesty and I hope you appreciate and take into consideration my own. As far as I was concerned, I had been trying to have a good relationship with you (by email) since this marriage took place and whether or not its good has actually depended on you. Relationships are not a singularly sided action, you know. I think we will do just fine as long as I don't feel like every breath I take is being watched for flames.
Yours,
Me.
Paula M
to me
1:31 pm (8 hours ago)
Melissa
I do not wish you any harm nor unhappiness. Jesse tells me that he is in love with you and that the two of you have worked things out. I have no reason to not believe him. All I want is for him to be happy. And if he is happy with you and his life with you then I am happy for him. I do not know you and have not had a chance to get to know you. That will change next year if I get to come up there. In the mean time email will have to do. I just wanted to stress to you that my family is my life and I take that very seriously. I do not like being kept out of the loop so I won't worry and I don't like the things I am hearing about the little witch that put my son in jail.
Me H
to Paula
2:58 pm (7 hours ago)
LOL-- witch is a much nicer word than what I was thinking, but I very very much agree with you. She scares me.
Hugs,
Me.
On that note, my husband asked me to get his mother's phone number for him so he can call her. He told her the full story behind the witch, she said she wouldn't apologize for her motherly protection of him, she said that she was sure Kari didn't mean the thing about family gatherings the way she actually said it, and Jess said that didn't matter, even he was offended with the way Kari said it, and he knows Kari fairly well. They agreed to his calling her collect once a month. He was really jazzed that he got to talk to his mom. It was cool to hear the joy in his voice.
I didn't hear another word from Kari since that email telling her I will be sure let Jess know that any family plans have to go through her. However, I have been corresponding with his mom and not all of that has been pleasant, but here it is:
to JMom
Sep 1
Hey Mom,
Wow, I was reading in the news today about the Hurricane Katrina refugees arriving in Dallas. What an impact!! Are you seeing it there in Canton, too? I wish I could help from up here.... I feel so bad for the people who are homeless now. They have it so much worse off than Jess and I did after the fire at Christmas. We at least had a place to go and quick help in getting onto our feet. I was reading that people down there with money available to them can't even rent a hotel room because so many are making reservations to stay in a warm safe place. I cannot imagine what is going through their minds. I'm reminded of Jess standing there in the street, looking at the smoldering trailer saying, "Okay, let's go back to the tournament." And me telling him, "Jess, how can you do that? We're HOMELESS right now" and the stunned look on his face... followed by a quiet "We can't come back and sleep here tonight?" He was just blown away by the thought. Boo was just devastated with losing her kitten, her ferret, her clothes, her stuffed animals, literally almost everything in her room.... She couldn't sleep for two weeks.... I can't imagine those poor people down there, with nothing but what they could carry - or fit into their cars if they were so lucky to leave with one. I wonder how many of them are going to stay moved away.
Wow, I don't think I've talked to you this much in ages. I should let you go now to whatever you were doing before you checked your email. I'm really looking forward to meeting you when you get here. I'm a bit disappointed that we're not allowed to buy your ticket the one time of the year we'll have money to do it, but I'm not into making the family upset, especially when it's Jess's family. Everything I do is for Jess, as I think you probably already know... This is the second time I've tried to get the two of you together. Remember when I called you to ask what airport to use for a Christmas ticket for Jess? LOL, we weren't even going out then! I just wanted to make him happy. And seeing you next year will make him very very happy. I can't wait to see his smile when he gets to hug his mom again!!!! And I bet your smile won't be much smaller!!!!
Okay, Boo needs the computer... I'm going now, I swear!
Hugs from here,
Me
Paula M
to me
Melissa
Yes we have many refugees from the hurricane here. Last night after working from 7 in the morning till 8 at night I went and help serve families and 250 National Guard that camped here last night as they are on their way to New Orleans. It is a very sad. Most people have lost everything and have no where to go. They have lost their homes, friends, jobs, have run out of funds, and in some cases have lost loved ones. Their lives will never be the same. There is about 18,000 housed in the Astro Dome in Houston and 11,000 with more coming at Reunion Arena is Dallas.Yesterday we had 60 plus families with more coming here.
Melissa as I understand it your daughter has become best friends with the "little bitch" that put my son in jail. How in the name of all that is good and decent can you allow that to happen. Do you not have the good sense to know that she is nothing but trouble. She can not be a good influence on Boo and I know she is nothing but trouble for Jess especially when he gets out. If you love Jess the way you say you do then I would think you would do everything in you power to prevent that from happening and get the situation under control.
Have to get to work
MOM
Me H
to Paula
8:03 am (14 hours ago)
Hey Mom,
I cannot imagine the agony all those people are going through.... the numbers you listed are just astounding, the entire size of Juneau is temporarily housed in the largest buildings near you. I wish we were closer so I could do more. I heard about the email notification line and wish I could help with that from up here. A small token to send people emails that their missing loved ones are okay. Today the Red Cross is collecting monies down at Foodland.
As for Boo, she's not friends at all with Jess's instigating victim. Boo is friends with friends of hers... one of Jess's classmates is even friends with her. There's a lot more to the story than that, but I know people can only judge on what is told to them. Its a small town and the girl has made it her focus to find out everything about Jess that she can. She even researched where we live and who is in his family. Needless to say, Jess and I are pretty fearful about her obsessive actions. Boo has been subjected to contact by her several times. The incident KJ was talking about also included mention that the victim's father has a friend working in the jail keeping a close eye on Jess for them. Its not a nice scenario. I don't know if anything she told Boo is true after all the things I have heard about her in the community. I have discussed with Boo the possible necessity of getting a stalking protective order from the courts against her. We have talked to Jess's attorney about the future and have been assured that if the behavior continues after he gets out of jail, the probation officer will be able to help us.
One of the reasons this has not been discussed is because Jess doesn't want his family (mainly you) to be put through any more anguish than they have already suffered. Its not a situation that bears any pride for him, its not a good situation even before this little hussy continued her normal behavior. Like I said, there's more to the story.
I'm off to court now. I wish you good sleep when you finally go home after all the hours you put into your day. I'm so very proud of you for your volunteer efforts!
Hugs,
Me.
Paula M
to me
10:29 am (11 hours ago)
Melissa
I can assure you that keeping information from me will only result in more worry and frustration on my part. Besides that I will find out eventually. I guess what you do not understand is that Jess talks to Troy, Kari and me (through mail) about everything. Both my sons grew up knowing that they can discuss anything with me. Kari has become like a daughter and does not even think of keeping information from me
I did not say or even imply that KJ had anything to do with this. She had nothing to do with what I said to you. Don't forget that I lived in Juneau for almost 10 years and I know people up there too. You are Jesse's wife and he said he loves you. As such I told him that what has gone before is water under the bridge and I would accept you as a part of my family and as his wife. I will tell you that if you do anything to hurt my son or any of my family there will not be enough space on this planet for you to hide because I will make your life a living hell. I am not a weak old woman and there is nothing more important to me than my family. So the choice is yours it is that simple you can be a part of our lives or not.
Having said that I hope we can have good relationship. It is up to you.
Have to get back to work.
MOM
Me H
to Hubby, Paula,
12:46 pm (9 hours ago)
Hey Mom,
Well, its a shame that you feel you have to tell me to be good to your family or you will make my life a living Hell. Thank you for the warning. I have tried to start a new relationship with you on good terms and sincerely feel from the warning you issued that the water is still flowing under the bridge for you. I believed that my attempts to correspond with you were an indicator that I was trying to be a part of the family and apparently they were not received as such. I have been trying to be a part of this family by talking to you, and by offering to buy you a ticket to come visit Jess. I now feel that these actions have counted for nothing.
Jess and I have had several conversations about the differences in our families, and maybe its time to explain something to you. Yes, Jess has made it clear that his family talked about everything and there were no secrets. Its amazing that he had a family that could do that and I am envious. I was an only child. I grew up in the focs'ele of a boat, and when I wasn't closed in down there, I was on the back deck working. I home schooled myself until high school. I had no teachers, no classmates, no social interaction whatsoever. I had myself for company. The idea of sharing with a family is completely alien to me. Just ask Jess, getting me to voluntarily share anything is an eyetooth experience. My small experience of sharing with this family has been a total disaster to date, so I have been tenative about talking. Besides, Jess does enough of that for both of us.
My life after getting into high school wasn't much different. I was in the foc'sele of the boat doing homework. I wasn't allowed to go to friends' homes until my parents met them, and I couldn't bring them home to meet my parents because Dad worked the night shift and slept during the times they could come home with me. Therefore, I had a very isolated life. My thoughts were my own, my voice was seldom used, I didn't have anyone to practice talking to. I have the same problem at work. I'm not anti-social, I'm just unskilled and don't trust very easily, especially after being hurt.
I'm glad you still know people in Juneau. I'm amazed that any of them would know who Boo is since that is what you implied in your email to me. Its also amazing to me that any of them would see Boo in public with this w----h and recognize both of them. Jess was quite clear to me that the incident causing worry was relayed to Troy and Kari by KJ and that is what I presumed you were talking about when referring to Boo and the w----h. I'm terribly sorry if that is not what you were talking about and I assumed your source of information incorrectly. I have no reason to believe you lie when you say KJ had nothing to do with what you said to me about Boo being seen with the w----h.
Now I have to go eat my lunch, since my lunchtime is almost over. Thank you for your honesty and I hope you appreciate and take into consideration my own. As far as I was concerned, I had been trying to have a good relationship with you (by email) since this marriage took place and whether or not its good has actually depended on you. Relationships are not a singularly sided action, you know. I think we will do just fine as long as I don't feel like every breath I take is being watched for flames.
Yours,
Me.
Paula M
to me
1:31 pm (8 hours ago)
Melissa
I do not wish you any harm nor unhappiness. Jesse tells me that he is in love with you and that the two of you have worked things out. I have no reason to not believe him. All I want is for him to be happy. And if he is happy with you and his life with you then I am happy for him. I do not know you and have not had a chance to get to know you. That will change next year if I get to come up there. In the mean time email will have to do. I just wanted to stress to you that my family is my life and I take that very seriously. I do not like being kept out of the loop so I won't worry and I don't like the things I am hearing about the little witch that put my son in jail.
Me H
to Paula
2:58 pm (7 hours ago)
LOL-- witch is a much nicer word than what I was thinking, but I very very much agree with you. She scares me.
Hugs,
Me.
On that note, my husband asked me to get his mother's phone number for him so he can call her. He told her the full story behind the witch, she said she wouldn't apologize for her motherly protection of him, she said that she was sure Kari didn't mean the thing about family gatherings the way she actually said it, and Jess said that didn't matter, even he was offended with the way Kari said it, and he knows Kari fairly well. They agreed to his calling her collect once a month. He was really jazzed that he got to talk to his mom. It was cool to hear the joy in his voice.