Kasie Ruckey's Blurty
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Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Kasie Ruckey's Blurty:

    Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
    2:57 pm
    The catch up on all...
    Alright, so i havent wrote in this thing in a while but thats ok! so a little of everything has happend to me since then. Most recently i was running with my sisters dog when it started to rain and then i gracefully collided into the cement, lets just say it wasnt the prietiest of things to see. So now, i unfortunately can hardly walk... i missed 2 days of school and 3 days of work all because of it. i finally took it upon my self to go to the injury clinic that they have at kaiser, and i went today. they took some x-rays and i was told what i already knew, that i have a hairline fracture...yeah it sucks. i also have some torn ligaments. moving on ans out of that conversation, my work it irritatng e to no end. i just dont get people. i know that it is not my job or purpose to understand the way peopl feel or what not, i just dont see eye to eye, or even a meer bit of what/why they think the way they do. just like a girl told me today, she doesnt like the way i write my K's....seriously, who gives a fuck? now tell me what it did for them to say something like that. was it needed? i think not!
    Over the past week at school i have also had some "drama..." Kourtni, we sure as ever got into it. i was tired of the kaotic confusion between us so i went to her to straighten it out, but what a lot of good that did me. it turned into a huge argument fallowing a uncomfortable working enviornment...oh well though.
    my nephew was also sick within the week, and i felt so terribly sad for him. it was a monday when i looked after him, and the whole time i know he wanted to be the happy little baby that he is, but he was just in so much pain. i saw him again that following friday and he was doing much better, so thank you GOD for that!
    Otherwise...that has been my life for the time being. the only positive things i have going for myself are looking forward to getting to know my new co-worker "lee," having my mom come up to visit me, the drama to stop (or die down), for my to graduate my school, and to go to koders graduation and have her fly back and spend a week with me... well until next time, ummm...Yeah!!!!!

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: Phantom Planet "so i fall again"
    Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
    11:11 pm
    Alrighty, so today was a buisy and interesting day! so it started out that i went to school and did a whole lot of nothing, i was a little late so i was unable to do the client that i had been scheduald to do, so i just sat around and talked to people who had clients cause i didnt want to do my procedures. so my fried tasha ( who is addicted to sex) brought a porno into school for me to see beacause i had told her that i never really saw one. and she also brought a book of old 30's 40's and 50's pin-up girls, and then i saw a picture in which i am going to go get a tatto of it! so time went by and i had to then leave for work...the unfortunate part of the say, so then i got there and made my final decision that i wanted to stop working there, so i gave her my two weeks notice and yep thats how it went. i actually will still be working there on mondays but its desk and then i dont have to deal with the bitch nicole. so yeah.... she (jamie, my general manager) was realy cool about the whole thing and she would like me to stay as i am positioned, but i just cant take it! so yeah, after work i walked into the parking lot where there wre like 29 police cars, for who knows what reason, but yeah... thats were i meet my lovely police officer brian who asked me for my #, and it wasnt to just ask "questions" for whatever... i was really excited.
    and the last thing that was event full was that i saw julius and when he went somewhere (i guess) he saw this ring that made him think of me and since we are not on bad terms (although i dont know what you would call are terms) but he bought me this ring that is gold (casue i love gold, now) and its a cross, for being christian. so i thought it was the sweetest thing and i love it.
    OHHHH... one more thing, i bought the ryan adams c.d. at walmart and so i hope kodie is proud, but its also hilarious for the fact that i fogot that walmart censors out curse words in the music, and if you know ryan adams, everyother word out of his mouth is fuck... so yeah, the c.d. is like bleep, bleep, bleep.... i just have to look at it from an amusing point of view. so yeah....that was my interesting day...

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Ryan Adams " wish you were here "
    Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
    12:20 am
    So today my bestest friend left for the marines, and i am so sad. i am going to miss her more then i think she knows. although im close to my mom, i still wont reall really have anyone to talk to, know one to complain to, and talk to about the crappy dya i had. well, it will be so exciting for when she does return and that is all i should think about so that there is something to look forward to. other then that i did nothing today, i accedentilly feel asleep on the couch and then i was running late for work. i really want to go and get some new c.d's. you know what? i can not wait to (sounds kiddish, but...) grow up. i would really like to be doing hair which is what i enjoy doing and i would also like to live on my own, rely on myself, decorate how i want, and just have my own space to be on my own and do what i want to do when i want to do it. i have to do so much tomarrow that i am totally not looking forward to it. my school theory teacher makes the class do some of the dumbest projects and so now, tomarrow i have to cut hair cuts out of magizines and do all this cut and paste kindegarden crap. anywhoo, i am starting to get tired, so yeah!

    Current Mood: lethargic
    Current Music: bye bye boyfriend ...fefe dobson
    Sunday, January 18th, 2004
    10:33 pm
    So this goes out to my bestet friend:
    Anastasia Beaverhousin...starbucks... Oh my Gg :0... ramon... im sorry im sorry... baptizim... ryan & frank... glenn & you know who... spiked hair... wanna faint?... barnes & noble... radio shack... you dont know me, im CRAZY... burn... your mom... wally-world... world history... carl... sweet 16... watermelon pucker... new years 2002 & 2004... denny's... your first set of nails (strawberry space ship)... engaged... cones & flowers... ditching "A" block... dominos,,,pizza hut... pitty party... job applications... newsies... cherry water... your butt, eriks eyes... zebra & leapord... chill out, what'cha yellin for... emergency mix... racing michael.. the wall... ty and julie... buttcrack... summer of 2001... (my brain farts are starting to effect...add on into the comment space..
    i love ya and its like a mini " senior will " i never got to give you...love you more...!!!!!

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: "i just cant help myself" nobody's angel
    6:43 pm
    So i have recently come to the realization, an not just me, but everyone, that we jude things before we give them a chance, and i am not talking about people but things...things such as, not wanting to see a particular movie, or eat a certain food, stuff like that. well, today i did a womans hair (which by the way turned out to be spectacular looking) and while i did her hair, her fiance, my father, and step mother watched the nfl playoffs. and so on certain breaks we had, when her hair would proccess, i would watch it with them and i ended up liking it a whole bunch, so now, i seriously think that i am going to become a football fan, i use to not understand it but after having watched it and actually pay attention i am getting the hang of it. anywhoo....today has finally been a pretty relaxed day, i have been able to stay in my p.j's, not get ready and for the most part not have to go somewhere. you know what sucks? cell phones, i think that the next time (which will be tonight) that when i talk to someone and it disconnects us, i am going to chuck it out the window...
    well i am completely sick of dealing with my disfunctional computer that i am going to get off so...yeah!

    Current Mood: mellow
    Current Music: frankie j & baby bash "suga-suga"
    1:13 am
    So i am finally ready for bed. now explain this to me, what is up with people having such cocky attitudes, is it like the saying "were you raised in a barn?" cause some people sure do act like they were raised in a BAR. yeah so i am refuring to the idiots that i have to deal with at my work. and seriously does it take a mad scientist to figure out how to make a grilled cheese, i mean c'mon now! some people, right now, sure do get the best of me.
    Grrrrr....i just need for this month to end. i need a fresh start and stuff. so i am still totally stoked that i have my eye pierced and i have no regretment of any kind what so ever. I think that it is rather odd that my father and step-mother have not noticed and i also thought that when they did that they would say something, so i have either assumed wrong in there part of saying something or maybe that they are just that oblivious and cant notice something worth anything. well, my sister still has been "unable" to contact me (how i like to phrase it) and i am really begining to think that if she had that much anger about me not watching jack, then maybe she just has some issues. well i am going to crash any second to i have to go....ummm...yeah

    ............. Confuse me?............ Beaverhousin ----> :)

    Current Mood: indifferent
    Current Music: marroon 5 "life is.....just"
    Friday, January 16th, 2004
    11:53 pm
    Alrighty, so the day has finally come to an end, not that today was horriblw or anything, its just nice to be at home and pleasing myself.. not haveing to wait on others and bite my tounge for ignorant ppl that get in my way. So im feeling a little guilty right now cause i feel that everytime i go to talk to anyone weather its koders, my family or whom-ever, i have no time for them, and its not even that i have "no time for them" its just that i am always on the go... going from place to place. other then that i have something exciting... i had a little spontanious moment today... i decided at lung to get my eyebrow pierced, yep-yep... and it looks heck-of cute. the only problem i have with it is that i am a little nervous about the whole cleaning process... it doesnt hurt, its just that i hope i am doing it right so that i do not get an infection, i pray to God i dont get one! so as for everything else yeah, i wonder what my mom is going to do? i obviously am not telling her until she sees me and i cant hide it forever, even if i tried she would find out, she always does...its just those damn loud mouths in lancaster! i suppose i should get to bed just for the fact that it is 12:01 and i need to wake up for school in 6 hours. so yeah..........

    Current Mood: bouncy
    Current Music: Lifehouse... you know the song!!! :)
    Thursday, January 15th, 2004
    11:22 pm
    o.k. so im writing again to say that i love my best friend kodie she is so important to me and completely understands me unlike so many ppl in this world, i may at times sound like a selfish brat and often a depressed girl but that means nothing. i am just normal and get in piss-poor moods like everyone else, especially when its that time of the month! i am content with my self, i am happy to be who i am, and i do know i am loved... i just think that when i say i feel alnoe i think that the loneliness of my heart is that i am missing the affection of a man, and not like a father figure but of a love. which is not to be confused with the fact that i " need a man " cause i dont! it would just def. be nice to have one in my life, and i, as well as kodie deserve the best especially in that department ( i think ). so anyway, i wanted to write that and express what i thought , cause i just read some comments of my journals, so anyways....yeah!!!!!

    Current Mood: chipper
    Current Music: "crush"..... off princess diaries soundtrack
    10:56 pm
    The twists and turns of my life right now are deffinately leavng me with confusions in my head. Love is non-stop on my mind ... was it right for me to break it off with julius, life as gotten so complicated, with him it was so nice, i could say anything and i never felt so beautiful as i did with him (o.k. maybe there is one exeption...ra...yeah) i just need to stop thinking about it, i just would like to know, really know what love feels like. am i alone in life right now, is there anyone who truly loves to be with me, talk to me, ook forward to seeing me, i just have been in the horrid mood the past few days. i truthfuly dont want that much life, if i could just be a happy and loved person, that woul be amazing. also, my relationship with god has been slipping so much within these past few months that i just feel so terrible i say over and over that i need to stop doing this and not do that, yet i continue to repeat the same things, cursing, and whatever else it is that i do wrong. other then me just having this little kasie pitty party session, life is not THAT terrible. work is going better and i could give a flying monkey what others think or say about me. school, is alright... i cant wait for it to finish just so that i can be doing what i enjoy and actually be making money off of it. so as for everything if the is anything else, its whatever. gosh i really do need to get out of this slump i need to stop thinking about dumb crap, be my happy..uniqe.. and giddy self, then everything will fall into place and be as it should!

    Current Mood: confused
    Current Music: "with you" jessica simpson...sappy love song :(
    Sunday, January 11th, 2004
    2:17 pm
    as i do my daily deeds the confusion of my life is getting the better of me. as i forget everyday things with the restlessness of my irritation takes the best of me. in better terms computers suck. as i forget where to go and what to do i want to see things yet can never get back to where i once was. the repetition of the music inside my head, its continuously driving me insane. The question either remains of who sings this? or what is this song called? as i lay around the house today with the boardom coming out of my head, i find nothing better to do then to be irritated right here on the internet! Im tired, cranky, and with the new day coming there is nothing but bitter feelings of looking forward to the moment of wakign up this next coming morning.

    Current Mood: blah
    Current Music: tantric "breakdown"
    Saturday, January 10th, 2004
    12:13 pm
    saddend are the lightest days as me being happy to the darkest days. times going by so slow with agony of repatition, my moods sinking to lowest of levels with anger, humility, and depression. The changes of friends are like the winds of which that they come and they go. my moods have been rising and falling like empires in a war. should i or should i not, my mind is going in every which direction. im so full of what we call youthfulness, yet my heart is filled with an old soul, what do i do? yet, what is there left to do? im changing by the minute, my thoughts confusing my own opinion in every aspect there is. lonely are the days in which i sit, stand, or frantically go from place to plcae. who is there to talk to? to love? to hug? being alone isn't so bad, but...is there, or is there not just a single soul who cares?

    Current Mood: irritated
    Current Music: marvin gaye
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