Ginny Weasley's Journal
12 most recent posts

Date:2002-12-23 13:14
Subject:
Security:Public

...I knew things were too good to be true...

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Date:2002-12-16 17:29
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...I think I'm awake. I'm stuck in bed for the week...I finished my finals last week, so that's a mercy. Poor Ron...I fainted or something and he went mad and must have carried me all the way to the hospital wing. I hate it here, it's totally empty, and there's nothing to do but watch the paintings. Earlier, a nice boy from Hufflepuff whose name I can't remember (he's also a 5th year) was in the bed next to me, he had the stomach flu. Anyway, he felt better after Mme. Pomfrey gave him some tonic, and left. I haven't anything to do and I'm horribly bored. I wish I had something to read! Oh, there's a gladrags catalogue but I read through it several times already... which reminds me...I need to see Ron, and soon. I've got something for him, and he needs it before the ball. Agh! The ball! I don't even have a dress yet and I'm stuck in bed til Thursday....poor Harry..I'm going to be such a disappointment....::drifts off to sleep again::

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Date:2002-12-12 16:52
Subject:
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Mood:distressed

//private// I....something isn't right. I've been asleep for days...I can't wake up...I dream that I've woken up, that I go on having conversations, that I go to class; I dream of eating, of laughing, of going to sleep again...but I can't wake up...and there is always something cold and dark lingering behind my eyelids -- hideous, ugly...I'm so tired...so tired and so...cold. I can hear people's voices sometimes, but it sounds far away...underwater. This is my dream....MY DREAM....not yours -- not THEIRS....my dream....mine...\\private\\

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Date:2002-12-07 11:59
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I can't believe so many people aren't going to the ball. I don't understand why people just don't come stag if they're too shy to ask someone out...I'm going to miss them! I'm relieved Ron asked someone...I was feeling insanely guilty that Harry had asked me. Ron overheard the whole thing and seemed really...disturbed...by it. I knew something like this was going to happen...I've been getting forced smiles and "I'm kind of busy, Gin, what is it"-s since. Still, Harry asked...I...god, what do I say about that? I nearly fainted. I have nothing to wear and I don't want to write home to Mum and Dad about it because money is, as usual, too tight for stupid things like a new dress. And I'm worried about Ron's dress robes. They're hideous. And too small. Although.....::little devious plot hatching::...Yes, that *might* actually work....and I still wouldn't need to owl home...

I woke up this morning with Filch's miserable face looming over me. I hadn't managed to get back to the common room/my bed last night, and just crashed in the middle of the hallway near the Charms classroom. Detention for Miss Weasley. I just accepted it, I don't want anyone to know that I'm having sleeping troubles - Ron, Colin and Harry know, and that's three too many. I'm actually getting a bit tired of this, I was cold and stiff this morning from having spent the night on a stone floor, and in the shower discovered that I am *covered* woth bruises.

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Date:2002-12-05 16:27
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I could just kill Colin! We had a huge row in the hall after lunch...well, it wasn't really a row - I was doing all the shouting and he stood there and cowered. I feel almost guilty about shrieking at him, but he promised he wouldn't say anything, and now Ron is going to corner me and haul me all the way to the hospital wing. A lot of people sleepwalk, it's not like I'm foaming at the mouth or something.

Ugh, and the Yule ball...I'd forgotten about it completely until last night. It looks like I'll only go if Ron never gets up the courage to ask someone, because I don't have much hope of being asked - especially now that Colin thinks I hate him. It's odd watching my brothers play the dating game. All of them seem to be moving right along, progressing, changing, growing...and I feel so far behind. It doesn't seem all that long ago that we played "dog-pile-on-percy" or had all 7 of us playing exploding snap in the yard until it got dark. My brothers have all grown up, and left poor little Ginny staring after them, perpetually frozen in childhood.

Where you have gone,
your little sister cannot follow,
and where I must go I cannot say.
In dreams I watch you fade into tomorrow,
while, I, my brothers, am trapped in yesterday.

At any rate, I blame my moodiness entirely on exams....having Snape breathing down your neck is enough to turn anyone topsy-turvy. Things are going to be fine, Christmas is coming, and I'd better go apologize to Colin, or I'll never forgive myself.

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Date:2002-12-05 11:50
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This is dreadful...I woke up this morning on the stairs, with Colin shaking me and nervously chirping "Gin? Ginny? Gin?" I don't know how I got there, but I had a splitter of a headache when Colin woke me up...I haven't been sleeping well all month, and now I find I'm sleepwalking. I was humiliated and made Colin *promise* not to tell anyone. I suppose my irregular sleeping patterns are causing me to feel uneasy, I'm usually such a sound sleeper. I can't wait for exams to be over, once some of the pressure is gone I'm sure things will even out. I have a massive potions exam tomorrow, and today my History of Magic paper is due in a few hours- I ran out of parchment halfway through and had to borrow some...it's insanely long. I just don't see how I'm supposed to stay awake for that class anyway, couldn't I just drop the assignment off and run away? ::sighs:: Looks like Quidditch will be cancelled if the snow keeps up like this, maybe it'll be clearer on Saturday. But the snow *is* lovely, even if it's inconvenient.

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Date:2002-12-04 01:52
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I made the team! I'm playing chaser this year...Ron's right, girls DO make better chasers usually, I don't quite know why. Agility maybe...although boys are equally agile so that doesn't figure...ergh. Anyway, I sent mum and dad an owl (one of the school ones, didn't want poor Pig to collapse) with the good news, and the first thing I get back is a tirade from mum about how I shouldn't be playing quidditch (nevermind that I've been playing since I was old enough to ride a broom): "you'll break an arm!" "do you want to ruin your lovely nose?!" "honestly, Virginia, it's much too dangerous"...even dad piped in...I was shocked. And hurt...So it's a little dangerous, they can't baby me forever, they just can't, I'll go mad. This is ridiculous.

Ron and I were chatting earlier, after supper, and I think I troubled him. It's not that I don't trust him, I just don't want to ruin things for him, or heap more onto his shoulders...not now...He's already dealing with so much, and unless I miss my mark we're both struggling silently with very similar burdens. I've never pressured him before, and I won't start now...

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Date:2002-12-03 18:00
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Argh! Malfoy makes me sick sometimes. He knows that Ron and I are the only Weasleys left at Hogwarts now...What the bloody hell is his problem? You'd think we were muggles the way he carries on and Harry's face is NOT smarmy. God, I can't think of anything nasty enough to call him, or I'd say it...Rabbits...for god's sake...just because OUR mum and dad LOVE each other and we actually have a family...Ron seemed pretty upset by Malfoy's goading...it gets under my skin too, but the more we react, the worse it'll be. Sometimes it's better to take the high road. Ron's still learning how to pick his battles...once he figures it out, he'll be unstoppable. He's brilliant when it comes to strategy, he just needs a little confidence. I think he feels like mum and dad want him to be more like our older brothers, but even if that were true (which I doubt), the only person Ron needs to become is himself. I know how hard it is feeling overshadowed - Ron gets it on all sides, our brothers, Harry, Hermione...Earlier when Ron was threatening to take me to Madam Pomfrey's he said he was still not sure about me not being a "little girl" anymore. On one hand, I know Ron loves me, and I'll always be his baby sister, but on the other it's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like a child. I've been constantly overprotected or pushed to the sidelines, the youngest of seven children isn't much better (isn't at all, imho) than being second-youngest...and the only girl. I want to be taken seriously, but I don't even know if that's possible. I hate feeling invisible.

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Date:2002-12-03 14:48
Subject:
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I'm so mortified, Harry thinks I'm going to cause an OUTBREAK...it's a cold! Ron makes it sound like I've got some rare exotic disease and now Harry thinks I'm going to spread it around...::burries her facein a pillow:: Outbreak - like a diseased monkey!

I think I'm just feeling exceptionally moody today - mom owled this morning and said she thinks that they might definately go away again this year, and if we stay here, I know I'm going to be bored stiff...I always feel like such a tag-along; Ron's got his own friends and his own agenda, and same goes with Hermione, although she goes home for Christmas...and no one in my year is staying that I know of...Agh. I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about this, it's just a few weeks. Besides, it'll be nice to get a break from all of this work...

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Date:2002-12-03 12:17
Subject:Agh...
Security:Public
Mood:guilty

I'm skipping class. Again...I can't help it!! I don't feel well and I have a million things to do. I've been feeling sick since yesterday morning, maybe something was off at breakfast? It doesn't matter now, I suppose. This is so sad. I'm counting the days until we have our Christmas holiday...I usually don't mind school but this year has been so dull. What am I saying?! I should be *happy* -- thrilled even that nothing bad has happened to anyone...

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Date:2002-12-03 01:09
Subject:Where is everyone?
Security:Public
Mood:bored
Music:the crackle of the fire

Bedtime already?! ::curls up in an armchair with a book, wondering where the heck everyone is on a monday::

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Date:2002-12-02 18:32
Subject:First post
Security:Public

Just looked a little empty. Where are all the male characters?! This is madness ;) Back to that 10 page paper...

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