Heather Kris' journal

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> 311's website
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Sunday, January 25th, 2004
1:10 pm - Memphis
"...I'm in Love, I'm all shook up"

I LOVE ELVIS!!!!!! Hey Jo, what's up with that community? I didn't know you had a community.

"....warden through a part in the county jail, the prison band was there and they began to wail"

O.k., let's rock down to the SNOW THAT IS BLOWIN' ALL OVER THE PLACE HERE!!!! It's crazy, the roads are iced over and the snow is so thick. I was confused for a while about where I actually lived. I know North Carolina isn't Florida, but it's not Maine either!!!!!

".....I wanna stick around while I get my kicks Let's rock!" That was a HOT MAN!!!!

"Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire. Gotta a whole lotta money that's ready to burn, so get those steaks up higher."

"I gave a letter to the postman, he put it in his sack. By the early next morning, he brought my letter back. (she wrote up on it)...RETURN TO SENDER. ADDRESS UNKNOWN. NO SUCH NUMBER. NO SUCH ZONE. we had a quarrel, a lovers spat. I wrote I"m sorry but my letter keeps coming back."

"you look like an angel. Walk like an angel. TAlk like an angel, but I got wise. YOU'RE THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE. yOU fulled me with your kisses. You cheated and you scemed. Heaven knows how you lied to me, you're not the way you seem. You look like an angel. Walk like an angel. Talk like an angel, but I got wise. YOU'RE THE DEVIL IN DESGUISE..oh yes you are."

O.k. HAHAH that's enough of that. "I still keep my watch two hours behind. ..... ooo that's where my family's burried and gone."

So I'm gonna finish my Literature after a bit. My dog is so tired from yesterday.

-gigit

current mood: nerdy
current music: Elvis Mix

(comment on this)

Saturday, January 24th, 2004
6:48 pm - A tree, with visible roots
FRIDAY:

Friday was absolutely aweful! That was the worse day that I've had in a long time. I was so utterly depressed and frustrated. I just balled when I got out of English Lit. It's a long story, but I will attemp to say:

-We had to read this poem, and so we were analyzing it in class. Well, I thought I had the poem figured out- (which i ultimately did, and I understood it) but there was just a small minor detail that I SHOULD have seen, but did not- and the ditsy dumb blonde who sits two seats over from me caught the "deepness" of it- and I was kicking myself in the ass. Basically I just felt like shit. THEN I failed my quiz. GRRRR

-Then a series of events happend thereafter that caused me to almost have an emotional breakdown. I was so sleepy and sad. Well Katie cheered me up. She took me out to eat at "Blackbeard's" restaurant. It was good. The buffalo shrimp was good- and the potatoe wedges were awesome. THEN....we went to "A Slice of Heaven" across from the Curiosity Shoppe, and had some cake- which was heavenly. I felt better...ultimately.

SATURDAY (today):

Well, this morning was alright. My cousin and her husband and children came down today around lunchtime. That was awesome because I haven't seen them in a very long time.
-HAHAHAHAH I let my dog go loose today (without a leash, which i often do) and he got into the river and was buckin' like a buckin' bronco!!! LOL- he was adorable.
Later, dad, me and Lukkah went in the boat, and road around, stopping at little minni shorlines looking and scoping out a campsite for us to go camping. We found a spot.

O.k.- so now I am windburnt- and my dog has been given a bath. Because if you've ever smelled a dog whose been in the river, well....it's not THAT horrible, but it's not a nice smell...so...the "Tea Tree Oil" Shampoo was great for him. If I'm not making sense- please forgive, b/c I'm very sleepy- I've had quite a long day.

I still have to do my homework for Eng. Lit- and I want to do it, but I don't want to....so....anyway.

I would also like to mention- that when we were scoping these beaches out- The trees that were standing...you could see the roots of them, for the sand had washed away from the many hurricanes that have decided to grace us with their presence. The roots were visible- and absolutely strange seeing that.

-gigit

current mood: and windburnt
current music: Nora Jones: Shoot the Moon

(comment on this)

Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
7:17 pm

My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

(comment on this)

6:36 pm - FAT FONG SAY: Boring day, is like poop on windowseal
It's strange that people kiss....is it not? The idea of putting both of your mouths together is very...odd. The more I think about it, the more it just becomes that...that of weirdness.

Spanish was cool today. I wonder what's up with those two boys in my class. They're somewhat of extraverts, I should say. Oh- and one of those guys is constantly flirting with girl who sits in front of him. Well, she is MARRIED and has a kid with someone else. And he's all up her fucking tale hole man. He was playing with her hair the other day. He's ABSOLUTELY gorgeous- but fuckin' A...c'mon man, she's married!@!!!! ya know?

Props so much to Johana for recommending Tsunami Bomb to me a while back. They're awesome girl!

E.R. comes on tonight-.....YEEHAWW!!!!!! I F'N LOVE THAT DAMN SHOW!!!!! WILL and Grace will hopefully come on tonight. I don't know what the deal is with the damn network man!!!

-gigit

current mood: but exploding
current music: Tsunami Bomb: Simple Truth

(comment on this)

Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
10:23 pm - Fortress
Unseen and unheard, I'm battered.
I'm torn between it all.
Battle the fight within my head, as I often do-
you never see me as I am.

Take whatever is left of me,
I've lost myself in the vision of you
and left to die a lonely death
For that is how it is to be and do.

I can no longer scrape the perils of your brain.
The hole covered me with darkness-
no longer does that darkness linger
but a candle lighted fortress.

I hold you still within my soul.
Take my pride no more.
Leave as you must, but must is a need-
and trust is the root of it all.

-Heather W.

current mood: uncomfortable
current music: Billie Holiday (They can't take that away)

(comment on this)

6:27 pm - French Toast- the inner workings of Respect
I battle myself constantly. I can never be comfortable. Everyday I'm constantly fussing with myself about things, about ideas, about how I WANT to be and how I AM. Out of 2003, and 2004 there were 2 days that I felt very peacefull. Where I was just sitting- and felt absolutely sereign/peaceful/calm. The weather has a lot to do with how I feel.

I was in love with Jay for a long time. It was a strange kind of love because it was one-sided. I felt that if I had him in my life as my partner- that life would be complete. But now that I have grown, and matured to quite an extent, I have realized that as though Jay IS my friend, he is a part of my past- and cannot be my future as a partner because of the way I feel when I'm around him, when I talk to him etc. I don't feel completely happy, and I may possibly never will. He will still remain a great part of my history though, and hopefully I won't lose contact with him as a friend.

and we're moving on......

there is this guy....however, that I constantly think about. He called me the other day, and just hearing his voice turned me on! I've talked to him for a while now. I don't think that he and I, ultimately, are one of the same person, but I believe that I may be greatly attracted to him. He's ABSOLUTELY adorable, and SUCH A GUY! And for some odd reason I like that. I've gotten to a point in my life where I don't really want the SENSITIVE, emotional, blah type of guy. I just want a guy who loves me. If he MUST watch a football game that's great. If he MUST scratch his fucking ass- then HE MUST! If he doesn't talk about deep shit all the time THEN HE DOESN'T. I'm so alright with that. And, indeed, that is what I want. He's gorgeous. He's so hott!

moving on....

school is alright. I really can't wait to get out of there though. I don't even know how many semesters I have gone- but it feels like I'll never graduate college. *rolls eyes*

moving on....

I think i'm losing my desire to drink wine.

moving on...

my dig. camera is broke.

the end


-gigit

(comment on this)

Saturday, January 17th, 2004
11:40 am
mysterious
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(comment on this)

Friday, January 16th, 2004
9:50 pm
I think this is MOST like me. I think I relate to it well!

Morpheus
Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

(comment on this)

9:40 pm
music
Good. You know your music. You should be able to
work at Championship Vinyl with Rob, Dick and
Barry


Do You Know Your Music (Sorry MTV Generation I Doubt You Can Handle This One)
brought to you by Quizilla

(comment on this)

9:33 pm
DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!


Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(comment on this)

Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
11:47 am - quiz

You are going to Marry Josh Hartnett. He is really
shy, but don't let that fool you. He is really
outgoing and sweet with those he loves and will
be loyal to them for the rest of his life.
Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

(comment on this)

Thursday, January 1st, 2004
2:42 pm - Lost 20's
Yes, I'm lost in my 20's
as another year passes by-
can't wait for the fire
because it gets too high.

You're never there
and there is a long way from here-
so let's try to find something better
so I can wipe away my tears.

They seep into my skin
they pull at my heart-
and what's worse, I do think,
it's tearing us apart.

So please don't be self-righteous
don't tell me negative words-
I just can't hear them anymore,
I can't hear them....anymore.

by: Heather W.

current mood: crappy
current music: Ben Harper: Burn One down

(comment on this)

Monday, December 29th, 2003
7:40 pm - GRRRRRRRRRRR
I SWEAR!!!!! I AIN'T NEVER IN MY LIFE....

He can REALLY FUCK ME UP!!!! I don't understand him sometimes! I really wish that I could just leave him and everything else be- and just when I start to not care- and want to move on- he POPs up into the picture again- SUCH FUCKING JOY IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-gigit

(3 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
7:10 pm - Touch Faith
Yeah, so I'm sitting here. Having a mixed drink. It's christmas eve. I'm chillin. It's the first time I've had a mixed drink in like 2 or 3 months. I haven't drank at all for a long time. My dog is wound the F up. Tomorrow is christmas- so why do I feel like shit? I've been depressed all day. Drinking doesn't help this- and I know.

I have bitten my lip so much- I'm just so....I don't know. I feel like I have anxiety. So much has happened this past week. Trying to buy christmas presents for everybody on a budget sux. I can't take it. I'll be glad when it's over- but yet- I want it to last. This will probably be the last christmas we have in this house. My parents are putting this house up on the market in April. This IS my home. I've always lived here. Except for a few times when I moved...but I've always come back home. It will be a great sadness when we all leave. .....

9gigit9

current music: Depeche Mode: personal jesus

(comment on this)

Friday, December 19th, 2003
7:18 pm - Dwelling
How many times will I beat myself up over this. How many times will I go through emotional frustration before I get it through my head. I'm constantly sick to death of all this shit. FOR REAL. I don't even think about him when he's not here- or I haven't seen him. But the minute I see him- it's the same shit that's been shitting for a long time now.

Would you continuously try to maintain something that, apparently, is not there and cannot be maintained? Would a normal person continueously fight something that cannot be won? And this is an obvious lose lose situation. But for some odd reason, there's a drive inside that will not let me stop. And I'm FUCKING TIRED OF IT. I feel like one of those girls who sits in the corner and cries in a sea of depression from a losing battle. The battle of rejection, the battle of whatthefuckever. Now I don't even cry over him- I cry over the idea of what has become of me and my rediculous repetition. I cry over the rediculousness of it all. The mere idea makes me loath myself.

I am constantly beating myself up- over nothing. Everyone says, "Heather, why do you do this? Why are you beating yourself up over it? It's not going to change. It will continue to be like this until you realize it's not worth it." .......................and you know what- it's not.

-gigit

current mood: drained

(comment on this)

Sunday, December 14th, 2003
10:57 am - Destress and Victory
I AM sitting here.

I AM curious.

I AM wondering.

............I'm somewhat sleepy. Last night was not a good night. My NEW dog (Golden Retriever named "Lukka") shit in the floor...LOL. It wasn't funny last night, and mom and dad got mad at me- so I cried and was upset- i had no one to talk to except for my sister- and she made me feel a bit better.

THEY CAUGHT SADDAM HUSSEIN!!!!!!!!! YAY!

....n-e-hoo- so I have to get these puppets made for the kids, and buy some christmas presents for the adults.

I finally got these nails off.

Uhm- so my friend got out of prison a week ago. I'm going to visit him tonight. He sounds like he's really changed. I hope he continues on the path.

-gigit

current mood: anxious
current music: Georgia Sattelites: Keep your hands to yourself

(comment on this)

Monday, December 1st, 2003
3:51 pm - MOngol/Turkish Invasion/Migration
I'm trying desperately to do this exam paper. I've been given a second chance at redemption- and this is my big opportunity. Which is so hard, being as I don't give a shit about the Mongolian and Turkish Invasions. I can't understand hardly any of it BECAUSE THERE'S NO MATERIAL. And if there is material- WHERE THE HELL IS IT. It's Monday- Dec. 1- and I'm dying here. Slowly. Painfully. And miserably- trying to find research on this god forsaken exam!

-gigit

(comment on this)

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
10:59 am - Piano & Puppets
Got up early this morning. God a shower- and put some make-up on-went to get a movie. Now I'm back- I'm bored- and I can't do anything loud around her b/c mom is sleeping.

I think sometimes my brain works differently than the average american.

I've also noticed that I lay my hands on the computer keyboard the same way I lay them on the piano. Like my fingers aren't curved- they lay more flat when typing, as the same for piano. My teacher always scolded me for not curving them- but i could never do it. I play better with them flat. One person I've noticed- that does the same thing I do- is Vannessa Carleton. Weird.

speaking of piano- I have to get these nails off- so I can get back into the GROOVE of things.

I'm making puppets for the kids this christmas- and mom is going to teach me how to crochet. neat huh. Somebody's got to keep up with the "old ways".

gotta go

gigit

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, November 13th, 2003
6:46 pm - The Moral of the Story IS....
....Don't Continue with a job- if your employer is a pathelogical, and psychotic liar.


...

Hahaha- I'm home for good now. Let me just give you the rundown on "John" & "Jane". Jane, being my main employer, but paying my wage with John's money.

Jane: was an abused child, who was poor, with psychological problems. She has long straight, (somewhat fake) red hair, with freckles, and a petite frame. Your average "plain Jane". 28 years old. She wants to believe that everything is peaches and cream, and wants a good life for her children, but isn't willing to make the sacrafice. Believes that since she was abused as a child, (which she was, sexually and perhaps mentally), that spankings are a NO! (and let me clarify. I don't believe you should spank a child if it doesn't help. If it helps then I am all for it.) Jane is also VERY VERY VERY scattered, with the attention span of a child- perhaps shorter. And an IQ of about 26. (I give her a high 26 for trying to trick me, but I'm not so dumb). For example: Jane and I are in a supposed conversation, "So, like I was saying, Jane. My Aunt Mary..." quickly cut off by Jane, "Oh Heather, isn't my baby so beautiful. He's just a darling. You know I have to go to the office and........" and she trails off into a scattered egotistical mind. Like I said her attention span is very short- and she's VERY unorganized. She also has a new baby with another man. Let's say his name is Mike.

She and her husband John run a Nanny business. It's basically her running it, but John puts about $2,000 in it every two weeks. So it's basically his business. Jane cannot meet the overhead- so John is pulling his share out of it by Dec. 31 if she cannot meet the overhead.

John: born in Italy, not poor, and not rich. Was not abused, and was loved by his family. Moved to the U.S. when he was twelve. Is very realistic, intelligent, and very wealthy. John knows that problems occur, and does everything in his power to fix them. He knows the a situation doesn't just leave on it's own. He owns 5 medical companies. So obviously he's smart, in a business sense. He's 42. He lives in another state- but flies to North Carolina to see his children as much as possible. He also has an ex-wife, with two other children. So 4 children all together. He wasn't entirely happy with Jane having a baby with someone else, BUT was willing to accept the baby into the family if Jane wanted to move back to live with him. The new baby would go on vacations with them and be a part of the family- but since Jane wants to stay in NC with the babies daddy- John wants nothing to do with them. Which is understandable. John realizes Jane is psycho.

_______________________

So....after the other part I told about the first time I was going to quit- let me just indulge you with the other drama that occured soon after.

So- I'm working for Jane, and I'm trying to get used to it. Things SEEMED to calm down a bit after the fiasco with Jane and JOhn. But I still didn't feel right. I knew that something was missing, and wasn't complete. I would get up at 6 a.m. every morning, take a shower, get the kids up- get them dressed. Eat breakfast. Fix Ryan his luch for school- brushed their hair and teeth. Took Ryan to school. Come back to the house, play with katie (the little sister who was 4), wash clothes, wash dishes, clean bedrooms, read stories to katie, play dollhouse blah. Go pick up Ryan at 3:45- come home- work in the workbook, fix supper, give baths, and go to bed. And this was my life for a month. I did not have a life of my own- it was centered around these children. Sure I'd go home on the weekends- but only for a day and a half.

So Jane STILL had not written down- or printed me out the "sitter-policy" which she was suppose to do from the beginning, but failed. She would come home- ask them how their day was for about 2 minutes- and THEN she was on the phone about her business. BLAH BLAH BLHA- she did this EVERY fucking night. She'd say, "Oh I'm gonna give them their bath b/c I want to spend time with them." and never give them their bath. So i would still have to do it- and I have no problem with it. But if you're going to do something -DO IT!

She still was not communicating with me. And then she had her baby. All I heard every fucking day was, "Mike this, and mike that, and I really love Mike- he treats me wonderful." So Mike starts to come over and sleep with Jane, knowing that the children are not his- and he and Jane are NOT married. I don't know about you guys, but I was raised with morals- and raised to know that you do not do things like that UNLESS you are married. And to instill this in her children while they are still young- is a very negative thing. NE-WAY.

So let me cut it short- b/c it's getting long. So while she was at work- she was watching me on the "nanny-cam". And I don't blame- but she would constantly call me when something wasn't right, and say, "Is Katie alright, what's the problem?" Because Katie, in my opinion, is probably confused about her parents and blah- and confused and perhaps troubled by an unstable home- therefore, she throws temper tantroms- like PUNCHING ME, AND KICKING ME IN THE STOMACHE. That lasted for 2 days- and afterward she was find I guess. But anyway- Jane was fucked up- constantly talking about her problems, and was not interested in what I had to say.

I told her for WEEKS that her child was sick: Ryan. And that he needed to go to the doctor. He was coughing up mukas. Well it DOESN'T TAKE A FUCKING GENIUS TO FIGURE IT out. And she was always saying, "I would do anything for my children...blah" Well- she kept saying it, like she was CONVINCING herself of the matter- like convicing herself she was a good mother blah.

So, it progressed further into further drama. My parents came the last weekend I was there. They met Jane, and Mike (babies daddy) and were NOT impressed, whatsoever, by their lack of communicational skills, and lack of comprehension. (jane and mike that is, not my mom and dad. mom and dad have great communication skills). So that weekend I knew it wasn't working it. Jane would always get upset about something- she would leave her trash and dirty dished all over the house. But would tell me, "you don't have to pick up after me"...well if i didn't- then she'd bitch about the house not being clean. She also did not BUY groceries for TWO weeks. There was hardly any food in the house. That's why John- sends jane an $800 check all the time for groceries for the kids. Funny how that works. Jane get's an aweful lot of calls from Richard-Macy's in NYC.

So- down to the nitty gritty- mom and dad knew I wasn't going to stay- and I knew it to. Because usually there's a HONEYMOON period with a job you jsut start. Well- even from day one- there wasn't a honemoon-period.

So, Jane knows that I'm gonna leave. She says, "you're not happy here are you?"..."no, I'm not Jane, I'm really not." See there was so much that happend that I can't remember, that was SOOO fucked up. I'll think of it later- I had just reason for leaving.

I say, "I"m giving you my two-week notice, so I'll work this week and next so you'll have time to find a nanny." So she tried to reverse things on me- make me feel l ike shit for leaving- saying it was my fault for leaving because I was leaving the kids- and they shouldn't have an unstable home BLAH. So John Calls- I tell john about my leaving, and he asks me why- I tell him about Mike and her together- and etc- so John is mad and all this dramatic bullshit phone calling happens- grrrrrrr. and then I left on friday. I got very attatched to the children, and cried etc- and I don't think they 7understood that I was leaving for good. But I explained it the best I knew how.

John calls me after i get home- and tells me thank you for turning his life around. Because Jane had been lying to9 him about a number of things- and I told him (thinking he knew already). Oh- she also lied to me about her education. She said she "had her degree"- but turns out she didn't even graduate high school. That's none of my business- but if she would lie about something small like that she would lie about anything, and she did. I caught her in several lies. Lies about John- lies about Mary, lies about Mike etc.

So i'm sending the kids a christmas present. It will arrive at John's house- for john to give it to them. Id on't trust Jane. But that part of my life is over- and that's it. Except for the christmas present.

=gigit

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, October 25th, 2003
9:29 am - PHEW- Much, and much more
In some weird, odd, and out of the norm way- I have become a live-in Nanny. The woman I work for- has 3 children now, and is seperating from her husband. He lives in New Jersey, while she, I and the kids reside in Raleigh NC. I'm home for the weekend.

You wouldn't believe the shit I've been through the past month. It's been fucking nuts. I had become so stressed out- that it fucked with my emotions and I flipped out.

Well, I jumped from the ferry- and into a nanny position. When I first got into her house (my employer- we'll call her Jane), I almost felt like the job sucked because I was having to wash clothes, clean the house, and cook as well. Plus take the son back and forth to school, etc etc. Well- I always thought that a Nanny job had to do, strictly with the children. But obviously not if you're working for average people. More wealthy people have maids and butler's, and cooks. N-e-hoo- sooo...

Well there was some confusion later that first week, about everything that I had to do exactly. For example, I didn't make the son's bed at all for about 3 days. I just didn't think about it- it's not that I just skipped over it- I just didn't think- well then... I haden't cleaned out the shower for the 3 days that I was there. Well..so... Jane comes in to the room I'm sleeping in, and she says:

"When you go to watch Michael's kids thursday- you're gonna have to do this this and this. I've been really leanient this past week about the stuff around the house."

UHM O.K.- well I was JUST GETTING ADJUSTED- and the big thing was that she NEVER gave me a list of things to do- she just said, "you have to be mini-mom". Well that's all nice and fine and everything- but a specific list a specifice duties would be nice- that way we wouldn't being have that dumbass conversation. AND, AND- I FUCKING TOLD THAT COCK SUCKING BITCH- that this was the first time I had ever been a nanny. I had babysat before but a live in- never. I mean what does she expect- she doesn't give me a sheet saying specific duties- and expects me to know. I mean even in being a nanny- there aught to be SOME kind of guidence.

(something you all must understand is that I jumped out of one job- working 3 hours away from home- into another job- 2 hours away. Nobody I know living where I live- my mind is kinda fucked because I've put school on hold- and my future is undecided. So it's almost a big mind fuck)

So then her husband, (let's call him John) came to see his kid and her- and try to convince her to come back to New Jersey. Obviously she didn't want to go because she stated it clearly to him- blah. Well he was there for a couple of days- and she stayed gone the whole time. So John starts talking to me about their problems and so forth. Well she had told me about their problems too- so I'm in the middle of this weird and fucked up marriage that have- where the only reasons she's with him is because he has money- and for her kids. Which I don't know- I don't have a comment on that.

Well- John had cooked dinner for the past two days- well that thursday he came in and put some chicken on the counter, and then left. Well I WAS TO ASSUME that he was going to cook dinner- because it was known. Well 6:00 p.m. rolls around and he's not back. So- I call him to ask him if he's cooking dinner- and he says, "yes". So I wait for him, and I didn't start dinner. He cooks dinner, and then Jane comes hom with her friend Mary. Well everything was fine until they walked in, and I could feel the tension b/c SHE AND MARY- MADE it that way. I get up to do the dishes- and John is doing them. "Oh, I'll do that John, you don't have to I'll do it" I say. John says, "No, I"ll do it it's fine." So I'm not going to argue with him.

The next day Jane says to Mary and JOhn both, "she should have made dinner and washed the dishes." and she says to me, "John shouldn't be washing the dishes, YOU should be." blah blah blah. N-e-way- so I'm about disgusted at this point.

That same night- Jane and John get into it (I know this is really long but just bare with me). She starts SCREAMING at him- and maintains a straight voice. O.k.- CLEARLY- this is an unstable environment for me. She gets hasterical and grabs the kids, who have no shoes on and in PJ's, and runs out of the house and into the car. Screaming at me too.

I made up my mind that night- that I wasn't going to stay. i told her when she came back home.

Then- I took JOhn to the airport, and he said, "I understand why you want to leave. And I don't blame you. But I wish you would reconsider."

So I talked to her the next day and she told me things that she had been feeling- and I explained to her that I didn't need to be in a situation like that blah. She says- they were splitting up and there wasn't going to be anyone in her life except her kids. She promised it would be like that when he left- so I decided to stick it out and make it work- and that's where I am now. I come home on the weekends so.

-gigit

current mood: sick
current music: Tracy Chapman

(2 comments | comment on this)


> previous 20 entries
> top of page
Blurty.com