I am the king   
05:22pm 10/11/2004
mood: unprepared
music: Am I Missing- Dashboard Confessional

Report Card:

Geometry A-
Global Studies A
Biology A
Journalism A
Advanced English A
Spanish 2 A

GPA: 3.945
I feel like that's not good enough. Isn't that horrible? It's because my sister's report cards were always 4.0, 4.0, 4.0, 4.34, crap like that. Now when I get one freaking A-, I think that it is bad. I hate being the younger sibling sometimes.

For instance, my sister goes to the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor now. That is a GREAT school and it only takes the best of the best students. Now, whenever we go to see her, I am pushed TOTALLY onto the sidelines and get snapped at for things that I do that are "wrong". I picked up my sister's purse at this restaurant on Sunday and my mom was like "HALEY, PUT THAT DOWN! It's not yours!!" Oh, sorry. Because you know, Kirsten DIDN'T just go through my purse. Great. I usually don't talk whenever I am around my family and my sister, because all they talk about is college. I'm not in college, nor do I know anything (really) about college, so it is very hard for me to join in the conversation. When I do, they just either roll their eyes, nod mindlessly, or disregard it altogether. I figure why bother? It won't do any good to add my pointless thoughts to the conversation that doesn't really include me. BUT WHEN I DON'T TALK, MY MOM GETS MAD AT ME FOR BEING 'sullen'. I really cannot win sometimes. What does she expect me to do?!

Now, I feel like I have to do everything like my sister or it isn't considered right. I have to take lots of math and excel in it, I have to be in all of these clubs and sometimes just be someone that I am not. I try to find things that I can do that make me unique, but of course she can't let that happen and finds some way to turn it into hers.

Like ACTING. Like MUSICALS. Like BROADWAY, That's not mine anymore. No, that's now considered hers too. It's funny because a few months ago she made fun of my broadway music, and now she's listening to it up at college?! UGH, it's the violin all over again.

I hate this. I need to go get comfortable.

Mom is taking me out to celebrate my GPA, and Dad, Kirsten and Tom are coming too. So, I have a feeling we won't really be talking much about MY accomplishments..probably more of HERS.

I sound like a jealous priss and maybe I am but you know, sometimes you need a bit of recognition.
forget about the boy