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[13 Mar 2008|10:21pm] |
"The most important thing you will ever do is love and allow yourself to be loved."
I am on a constant search for something that I can't even begin to understand. An ever-present anxiety that bears no direct purpose but a burden on my conscience. Well, that's not entirely true. By that I mean in the back of my mind I think it's entirely clear to me, but I don't think I want to accept it, for whatever reason that might be. I am in constant conflict with my thoughts and my own conscious acceptance. That's the real problem. I try to kid myself into recognizing what's real and what I wish could be real, or vice versa.
I will never understand why I allow myself to tear myself in two.
"And if you'd 'a took to me like a gull takes to the wind. Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores and the rest of our lives would 'a fared well."
I'm in a comfortable limbo of being neither here, nor there, but I think it's starting to piece together.
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