| ...but they dont tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell... |
[06 Feb 2004|04:19pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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This Celluoid Dream- AFI |
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you know, relationships suck. its like...i just had this awesome one, and now.... everything is fucked up. i dont even want to go out with anyone becasue it would just seem mediocre at best. well now, i dont have any shit to smoke so im in the real world which just always makes things so much better(full of sarcasm). this week seemed to drag on forever. i did realize alot today though. maybe some of those realizations will come out later. or maybe not.
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| i miss your purple hair...i miss the way you taste... |
[01 Feb 2004|11:04pm] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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music |
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Somewhere out there-o.l.p. |
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well i officially finished the acoustic version of Broken, the song i wrote. now to decide if im gonna make a punker version of it or not. uh today i got some things cleared up with her. i just feel really unsettled. like the theres something wrong with everything. like the universe got fucked up. and i dont like it. even though she still wants to be friends, i feel really uncomfortable around her. even though i have everything cleared up with her about why she did it, theres still so many unanswered questions. so many questions that i dont even know how to express. soberity sucks.
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| and i cant see this helping at all |
[31 Jan 2004|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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the early november |
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well, i guess this is my first entry in a new journal. its time for me to have some place to be able to actually say what i need to get off my chest without having to worry about people getting mad or whatnot. its been a really rough week. with among other things, my girlfriend dumped me. ive been high for the past 4 days just trying to kill the pain. yeah, its not the best way to do it, but at least im not off slitting my wrists. its really a shame that when i finally feel like i can open up to someone and let them know me, they hurt me. im done opening up. fuck it. and i hate to sound like a stupid kid ripping off a song but 'i wanna hate you so bad, but i cant' thats how i feel. its from taking back sunday if anyone didnt know that. but after everything, i still care about her, and im glad i care about her...but its just going to keep hurting until i finally feel like i can move on. but i dont want to move on, cuz of feelings and shit. fuck it. i hate it
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