fierynymph's Journal
20 most recent posts

Date:2004-05-03 11:06
Subject:hrm..
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:five for fighting~100 years

well that last post was incoherent. i must have been really out of it... ahwell. so yea. nothing much new and exciting on the homefront... although i am glad to say that i've finally moved back into the apartment with chris and things are going well. we've worked things out and are back in the engaged state. i know i know... i'm gonna get lectures... and i appreciate that y'all care enough to share your opinions... but it is ultimately my decision. but again, i do thank y'all for caring. it means a lot to me. gods know that my extended family isn't happy about it... which is their fault. i mean geez.. who's the bigger person.... the one who's living up to the mistakes in her life or the one who's being too selfish and not calling my mom to talk because she doesn't agree with the choices/circumstances in my life? hrm.. that was confusing too... the thing is that my mom told her sisters about the situation involving chris and me and one of them is refusing to call her back and the other one said "oh good god." like they know... but i know they do care in their own way... however confusing and odd it may be. other than that, people have been supportive. especially my parents. which my reaction to is something like *head flipping back and forth, rubbing eyes and asking them to repeat what they just said*. you have to admit, for the mom that was a bitch to me throughout highschool and up to this point in my life, it is kind of odd for her to now say "i support you and your decisions."

let's see... school is almost done *YAY* my first final is on friday and then i have 3 next week, but one doesn't really count because it's only going to be a grammar quiz. so yea. then after next week, my hours are going up at the museum and i'll be getting more money... yay! i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, which i'm hoping will go well. which reminds me... i still should call the health clinic and get those test results sent over to the actual doctor *$@%# and i won't have time to do it today because of damn classes starting at noon and having virtually no breaks till 7 pm.

hmm... what else, what else... i created a livejournal name, but i'm debating whether or not i should give out the name or if i should make it friends only... ya know... for privacy and all that shit... something to think about....

anyway... off to class! *twirls finger with sarcasm*

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Date:2004-04-22 11:20
Subject:i'm sleepy...
Security:Public
Mood: sleepy
Music:sha la la la live for to-da-ay...

i wish i was in bed right now... really. i could so fall asleep for a few more hours... damn _____ ________! ahwell... it'll all work out in the end... good thing i have tomorrow off from work and school..

anyway... nothing really interesting i guess... just though i'd update before i went off to class. i may go home on the bus afterward and sleep... either that or stay at school for another 5 hours before i have to work. hmm... big decisions...

lalala, russian calls. toodles for now...

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Date:2004-04-19 12:15
Subject:another attempt..
Security:Public

my pet!

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Date:2004-04-19 12:13
Subject:pets
Security:Public


adopt your own virtual pet!

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Date:2004-04-15 09:47
Subject:hrm... where to begin.......
Security:Public
Mood: melancholy
Music:breathe your name~sixpence none the richer

well, let's just say that things aren't getting any easier... but they're not getting any harder either (thank the gods).
i just... i just can't help but feel that i've screwed up majorly this time. and i'm taking it hard, even though i know i shouldn't... mainly because that's the feedback i'm getting from my closest friends (you know, the ones that i hold closest to my heart and that i treat like brothers/sisters) and coworkers, yet my parents are backing me all the way with things. go figure. it used to be the opposite. *shrug* and on top of all of everything else... i'm feeling that things might be better if i did something drastic. and that's depressing me more and more...
chris keeps reassuring me that things will be okay, and i know in the long run he's right... but i just can't get over the feeling that i'm having. it scares me. and i don't generally get so freaked out that i sob until i fall asleep... that scares me too.

*sigh*

i can't wait for classes to be over with for this semester. it's been a hard semester both academically and personally for me. then i will be getting more hours at work, so that means more money. which is good.
i'm going to be moving back into chris' apartment soon, although probably not this weekend. i have two 5-page research papers to write (good news is they're only drafts that're due monday), but i still have about 75% of my research left to do. which is my fault for not feeling good enough to do anything, much less homework. although, that's getting better. (me being sick, that is).
gah... today is a long day. i had a class at 8, now i have a conference at 1030 *twirls finger* with my english teacher, a class at noon, lunch with a friend, then a lab at 2. then i work at 630... so my day won't be done till about 830 tonight. then it's dinner time and back home for me (home being chris' apartment until i get my stuff moved back).

on other news... we went to dairy queen last night (after i had gotten home and cried for about 30 minutes till i fell asleep, slept for 2 hours, woke up to chris coming in the door, eating pizza, and watching in living color) and i got a chocolate cone. i was excited to get actual chocolate ice cream... and it tasted so good... sooo much better than the mcdonald's crap. although i do miss going late at night with my mom through the drive thru and getting a cone with twice the normal amount of ice cream piled on in their efforts to empty the machines for the night and finishing them before we got home... yea, that's good stuff.......

oh. and by the way... kara... i'm sorry i got upset with you the other day. i know you were only trying to help, and it shouldn't have pissed me off the way it did. thanks for all you've done. i love you!

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Date:2004-04-01 15:22
Subject:the piles of shit that constitute my life...
Security:Public
Mood: blah
Music:sixpence none the richer~ breathe your name

so much has happened...and i feel terrible for the things that i've done. i, first of all,
had no right to post the things that i did about my personal life/chris so that everyone
could read it. i could have at leasts made it a private post. or not written it at all.
then for me to tell the people that i did... my close personal friends, yea, i can justify
that to myself. but people that i work with.. they shouldn't know. and i know they care,
it's more that i probably should have kept my composure a little bit better and not told
them. and then the whole thing with bj... *shudder* i can't believe that i put myself in
that situation. and i still feel like crap for it.

although, chris and i have decided to work things out between us. for several reasons. he
wants to change... and i'm going to support him in that. and he knows that. other reasons
are that i still love him... and i want to still be his friend. and then there's another
reason... but only certain people get to know that. of the people that i know of that read
this journal... i think only kara, dave, and chris know. and that's all who really need to
know. as far as other people that know... my parents, mark, hmm... i think that's it...

other than that... i'm doing alright. i want school to be over and done with... but then
again i think i'll miss it once it's over. i mean yea, i'll definitely be working more
after the semester ends... but school just fills time ya know? ahwell... i'll fill my time
with other things next semester...

for now... i'm just procrastinating. laptop is fixed *knocks on wood* and wireless access
is sweet... only thing wrong with it is the system volume, but chris is going to look into
that for me... so i think that's it for now...

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Date:2004-03-21 20:23
Subject:a procrastination tactic...
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:numb~linkin park

well... instead of working on my essay... here i am doing this damn thing:

[1] first name: Megan
[2] middle name: Nelle
[3] last name: Grissom
[4] nickname(s): Meg, nutmeg, nymph,
[5] gender : female
[6] age: 18
[7] b-day: June 15, 1985
[8] height: 5'7"
[9] hair color : red
[10] eye color : hazel
[11] race : armenian, english, probably some german and irish and french
[12] do you think this is stupid already: hmm... define stupid. because i've known some pretty stupid things...
[13] do you have braces: heck no
[14] is your hair long or short: umm... it's getting to be pretty long. down to the bottoms of my angel wings...
[15] where were you born: albuquerque, nm
[16] current location: reno, nv
[17] zodiac sign: gemini
[18] how many languages do you know: english, spanish, some russian, a little french, and even less armenian
[19] nationality : umm... should i refer you to #11?
[20] bad habits : procrastination, getting involved with horrible guys, not so much now.. but biting fingernails
[21] piercings you have : one in each ear... although i want more
[22] piercings you want: helloo... i want one more in each ear...
[23] tatoos you have : 0
[24] tattoos you want: i'd get an ankh or a faerie
[25] todays date : gah what is today's date anyway... how sad is that...
[26] the time: 8:31 pm
[27] ready for a bunch more questions: uhh... do i have a choice?
[28] do you have any pets: i personally have a fish... and there are a couple of cats that are chris'
[29] what are their names: fishy... cocoa and pebbles
[30] what kind of animals are they: see #28
[31] are you still in school: hell yea... college is cool
[32] did you drop out: uhh... no, but i thought about it last year. about high school that is. yea, i really thought about dropping out of college before i even enrolled... geez...
[33] current gpa: i wanna say somewhere around.... 3.6?
[34] favorite grade: hmm...all of my years in school have bad memories somewhere along the line...
[35] least favorite grade: i almost didn't survive junior year... then senior year sucked too...
[36] favorite teacher: mrs. smith... she is so awesome! although i have to remember to call her heather... mrs. knafelc was really cool too
[37] least favorite teacher: mrs. grassi
[38] favorite subject: i really enjoyed spanish... and orchestra was fun too...
[39] least favorite subject: *shudder* ap us history...
[40] do/did you buy lunch or bring lunch: umm usually i don't have time to make it.. so i grab and go...
[41] play any sports on the school's team: no
[42] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: orchestra... DI (whohooo!)...
[43] are/was you popular: lol... gotta love the grammar... "was you popular" hehe.... i knew a lot of people, but i wouldn't say i were popular
[44] favorite dance: lol... spelling my name with my butt (it seriously works...you should all try it sometime)
[45] favorite memory: hmm... that's sad... i don't really have an all time favorite one... running through the sprinklers at kara's birthday party that happened to be on my birthday that one year was pretty fun... and WAFFLES was pretty good too...
[46] least favorite memory: fights.... all the fights and yelling.......
[47] most humiliating moment: that night at kara's house when my mom escorted me in and lectured her mom on what i was/wasn't supposed to do

F A V O R I T E S .

[48] number: 8
[49] clothing brand: whatever's cheap
[50] shoes: i like the shoes i have to wear to work... they're black and they're really comfortable...
[51] saying: oops, oh well...
[52] tv show: whose line is great... and alias is really good... although i haven't watched it in a while...
[53] sport: to play... tennis. to watch... mcq football
[54] vegetable: hmm... i could live on veggies... i like pretty much everything except for avacados...
[55] fruit: hmmm... strawberries, apples, peaches, plums, nectarines, grapes... and so many more
[56] movie: ah geez... i can't pick. pirates of the carribbean, finding nemo, cold mountain, lotr i, ii, and iii
[57] magazine: cosmo... i know, i'm such a girl...
[58] actor: hmm... orlando bloom is good... and so is tom cruise... and i like johnny depp too
[59] actress: julia roberts, renee zellweger, liv tyler
[60] candy: anything chocolate... skittles, reese's pieces...
[61] gum: i like dentyne... big red and juicyfruit are good too...
[62] scent: mm... i like victoria's secret dream angel: divine.... soo good...
[63] candy bar: baby ruth... or mr. goodbar
[64] ice cream flavor: chocolate is good... and chocolate chip cookie dough is good too...
[65] color: green, silver, black, some blues...
[66] season: autumn or summer...
[67] holiday: hallowe'en
[68] singer: josh groban is good...michelle branch... avril lavigne...
[69] group: evanescence and sixpence none the richer
[70] rapper: eminem
[71] type of music: anything
[72] thing in your room: umm... my stuffed animals
[73] place to be: a few weeks ago my answer would have been "with chris"... now it's "at work"
[74] radio station: either 95.5 or 96.5
[75] t.v channel: umm.. haven't really watched tv in a while... but i guess either cbs or abc
[76] junk food: cookies... chips are good too...
[77] overall food: i'll eat pretty much anything... italian, chinese, mexican, american...
[78] store: victoria's secret *wink, wink*
[79] shoe brand: i like shoes that don't hurt my feet... and ones that are made of leather... anything else gives me this gross rash... not that you really needed to know that, but still...
[80] fast food: wendy's
[81] restaurant: macaroni grille is really good, and so is the pasta mill.
[82] shape: star
[83] time of day: dusk
[84] country: well... i haven't been to any other countries... so i'll just make it up... norway. yea.. norway...
[85] state: hmm.. really the only other states i've been to for an extended amount of time are new mexico and tennessee. of those two... i'd have to say tennessee
[86] boys name: hmm... galen is nice... and so is hunter. jeremy too...
[87] girls name: eithne (it's pronounced enya, but i like eth-nee too), ariadne, alexandra
[88] mall: hmm... meadowood?
[89] video game: galaxies... although it's more of a computer game... when i was little, i used to stay up and play super mario brothers 3 with my mom and we'd have fun *sigh* can't do that anymore...
[90] shampoo: pantene... the one for curly hair...
[91] board game: monopoly is fun... that game can last for days...
[92] computer game: uhh... galaxies
[93] car: jeep liberty... *sigh* the memories....
[94] music video: going under~ evanescence
[98] cartoon character: tigger
[99] scary movie: signs was good... only movie that literally made me scream and latch onto the person next to me...
[101] possession: hmm... i don't know. i guess i could say my life, but considering it's not that good right now.... i'd have to say my cell phone or something

What's the first thing that comes into mind when you hear...?

[102] eminem: lyrics
[103] dog: i want a puppy!
[104] hot: spicy
[105] britney spears: her song toxic... sooo annoying
[106] nsync: justin timberlake --> superbowl--> janet jackson--> bare boob!
[107] real world: what most people don't realize that they're living in
[108] orange: juice... heh... the memories on that one...
[109] choice: freedom
[111] bisexual: hey... it's how you wanna live your life
[112] black: white
[115] linkin park: numb~ love that song
[116] jack: of all trades
[117] rainbow: clouds--> rain--> me smiling
[118] cherry: pie
[119] cucumber: ranch dip
[120] shark: water
[121] lifehouse: good band...
[122] bat: man
[123] leather: broken watch band
[124] whip: -ed cream
[125] america: flag
[126] water: cool/refreshing
[127] volcano: hot

P R I V A T E L I F E .

[172] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: uhh... i think a few of these questions should be skipped because of personal reasons...
[173] do you have a crush:
[174] do you love anyone right now: i'm not sure if i love him or not...
[175] have you ever been in love: oh yea...
[176] how many people have you kissed: 6
[177] who was your first real kiss: dave jackson
[178] how many hearts have you broken: probably just one i think
[179] how many people broke your heart: 3
[180] best quote to sum up love: the day i started loving you, i dropped a tear in the ocean. the day you find that tear, i will stop.
[181] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: *officially skipped... y'all know what he's like*
[182] do you have a picture of him/her: yes i do...
[183] please post it if you do: umm... no?
[184] do you have a picture of yourself: yea...
[185] please post it if you do: heck no
[186] do you go by looks or personality: personality first... it's all what's inside a person's heart. then looks. cause if they're good on the inside, they're probably good on the outside...
[187] ever kiss a friend: yes
[188] are you still friends: no
[199] are you a virgin: no
[200] if no, when was the last time you got some: umm... i think it was march 7

W O U L D Y O U E V E R .

[201] bungee jump: hmm... maybe...
[202] sky dive: probably not
[203] swim with dolphins: that would be fun
[204] scuba dive: yea even though i don't know how to swim
[205] go rock climbing: yea, but i'm afraid of heights...
[207] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: hell no. i'm not that kind of person...
[208] steal a friends bf/gf: umm... i didn't steal him persay... he was already free from his previous relationship...and in all fairness... he asked me out...
[209] cross-dress: i think it would be too obvious... my boobs would kinda give it away...
[210] Lie to the police: uhh no. and let me say again, no.
[211] run from the police: i don't run very fast... and i'd have to have a damn good reason to even think this in the first place
[212] lie to your parents: i have...
[213] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: i totally should... after this mess clears up, i totally am
[214] be an exotic dancer: i am so not even pretty/thin enough to think about a profession like that
[215] walk out of a resturant without paying: that's just wrong. unless the service/food was crappy as hell... then i might consider it.
[216] streak: heck no! i'm not that adventurous

. F R I E N D S .

[217] best girl friend: kara lynn
[218] best guy friend: mark
[219] known longest: hmm... of those two? mark... in general... tina
[220] wish you talked to more: kara... jess... dave... evan
[221] wish you saw more: kara, dave, evan
[222] how many friends do you think you have: oh... getting a snooty attitude, ehh? hmm... i know a lot of people... mostly aquaintences. i only have a handful of true friends
[223] who drives you insane after a while: gah... this girl in my english class... she's soo annoying.
[224] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: i could say chris... but i could never really get sick of kara
[225] ever lose a good friend because you went to the next level: no
[226] craziest: matt
[227] loudest: umm... mark
[228] shyest: jess?
[232] can always make you laugh: matt and kara
[233] most athletic: i guess markus is pretty athletic, although he's not really my friend...
[236] shortest: my brother
[237] tallest: valerie

. H A V E Y O U E V E R .

[244] flashed someone: yea
[245] told the person you liked how you felt: yes
[246] been to Michigan: nope
[247] gotten really wasted: no... but i have been tipsy...
[248] gone to jail or juvi: nope
[249] skateboarded: no
[250] skinny dipped: no
[251] stolen anything: hmm... not that i can remember...
[254] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: no... i suck at throwing snowballs
[255] broken a beer bottle: no
[256] gotten into a bar: yea, but just to get food... nothing alcoholic. and i wasn't even carded
[258] gone on a road trip: no but i want to sooo bad
[259] gone on vacation without adult supervision: no...
[260] been to a concert: yes
[261] been to another country: no *whines*
[262] talked back to an adult: hell yes... and my mom deserved it too...
[263] got pulled over: nope
[264] got in a car accident: uhh... i plead the fifth
[265] broken a law: i plead the fifth again...
[266] given money to a homeless person: yea... a few times...
[267] tried to kill yourself: almost... dull scissors aren't the best things to use...
[268] cried to get out of trouble: umm... not recently
[269] kissed a friends brother or sister: no
[270] kissed a brother or sisters friend: no
[271] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways: nope... never would either... unless it was something that chris was going to have :P i'm just kidding.

. O P I N I O N .

[272] what do you think about pop music: it's good...
[273] about boy bands: some of them started out good... but now... it's like "what are you doing?"
[274] about flag burning: hey... whatever blows your skirt up...
[275] of the war on terrorists: war in general isn't a good idea... it just causes more destruction and hurt than before...
[276] about suicide: been there.... wanted out.... not a good place to be...
[277] about people that try to force their opinions on you: "yea? really? mmhmmm..... okay, buhbye now..."
[278] about abortion: pro-life. i personally believe that there are such better ways to raise a child rather than sticking scissors in it's head when it doesn't even have a chance... i mean seriously people... adoption or, here's a concept... take responsibility and raise the child! give it a chance...
[279] about rock/metal music: it's okay...
[280] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: all i can say is that i hope i'm happy...
[281] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: kara, mark, dave, valerie, maybe chris if things completely change...

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Date:2004-02-25 21:01
Subject:and the beat goes on...
Security:Public
Mood: content
Music:i'm with you~avril lavigne

ha! so there! you thought it was someone else... mwahahahahaha! i so sneakily changed my name... gabrielle just kinda lost it's meaning, ya know? well, you may not know... only dave really would know where that one comes from... *shrug*

so yea... things are okay... moving day is saturday and i can't wait!! although my mom is being a complete bitch about it... i just don't understand her sometimes. okay, all of the time really...

ya know... it's insane how much plane tickets cost. for a total of about 13 hours worth of traveling, it's over $500. ahwell... it's money that i somewhat have and i needed to buy the tickets to go see chris graduate in march from boot camp. that's the way things go... and besides, with me working now, i'll be able to pay off the credit card without too much trouble.

oohhh... guess what happened today.... it rained!! all day! it started snowing at around 430-500 ish.... but still it rained!!! *does a happy dance* hehe... it was funny to see all the other people on campus walking around huddled down into their jackets and pulling out umbrellas and squinting because the rain was hitting their faces. and then there's me... walking around with my jacket open and smiling because the rain was coming down around me and hitting me... being able to splash some pretty big puddles... i was so, so glad it rained... gray, drizzley, cloudy days make me happy. go figure. but still... :)

let's see... hmm... nothing too exciting really... just been busy. and i'm only gonna get busier... bleack. ahwell...

bb~

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Date:2004-02-18 17:23
Subject:inspiring...
Security:Public
Mood: calm
Music:haunted~jewel

wow. this is kinda just what i needed... apparrently this is to or from a dying friend of gabriel garcia marquez'. the place where i found it didn't know either:

If for an instant God were to forget that I am a rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life, possibly I wouldn’t say all that I think, but rather I would think all that I say. I would value things, not for their worth but for what they mean. I would sleep little, dream more, understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.

I would walk when others hold back; I would wake when others sleep. I would listen when others talk, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream! If God were to give me a piece of life, I would dress simply; throw myself face first into the sun baring not only my body but also my soul. My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice, and wait for the sun to show. Over the stars I would water roses, to feel the pain of their thorns, and the red kiss of their petal.

My God, if I had a piece of life… I wouldn’t let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them. I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites, and I would live in love with love. I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old, not knowing that they grow old when they cease to be in love! To a child I shall give wings, but I shall let him learn to fly on his own. I would teach the old that death does not come with old age, but with forgetting. So much have I learned from you.

I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain, without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time his father’s finger, he has him trapped forever. I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet. From you I have learned so many things, but in truth they won’t be of much use, for when I keep them within this suitcase, unhappily will I be dying.

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez

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Date:2004-02-17 13:41
Subject:mmm... *inhales deeply* stress!!!
Security:Public
Mood: melancholy
Music:truly madly deeply~savage garden

well... this day isn't turning out to be quite the best day ever. for starters, i got back my test from geology today, and instead of doing the oh-so good job on it like i though i did, i got a D. and i somewhat studied... okay, i didn't really study... but that's not the point.
then, chris told me that i wouldn't be able to get a ride with him from work, which is totally fine with me. totally. but then my mom calls my cell phone to tell me that my dad had a doctor's appt this morning and they sent him to the hospital, but they're not allowing him to drive. now, if you're not caught up on the whole medical situation in my parent's house (cause i kinna don't really live there anymore) here goes: my mom (a few months ago) had to go through some radiation treatments on her eyes and then also some steroid injections in her eyes as well. her eyesight continues to get worse and worse. so we (meaning my dad, my brother, and i) have been restricting her driving. it's so bad that she can't see to do her own insulin. and it's a click pen that dispenses it. so she needs constant help, and she doesn't realize that i'm not going to be able to be over there all the damn time. my dad has been going through his normal chemos, but has been really, really weak lately. so he shouldn't really be driving either. so today, he went to the doctor's office and found out *shock and dismay* that he needed a blood transfusion. so the car is stuck in the parking garage near the doctor's office and i can't go get it because i don't have a fucking license. and i'm not about to let my mom go do it... and seriously... how the hell is that house going to function once i leave in two weeks? i mean, i'll still be over there occassionally, but i can't be there all day. should i feel bad for leaving them? or should i just leave and say "screw this"? i don't know what to do. i mean, i know... i KNOW that i'm going to move out, but i can't handle my mom's guilt trips all the time about me leaving. i'm happy... i really am, but it's stressing me out.
so yea. then i get out of russian and set up the laptop in the library to connect to the internet and i take off my dark, dark blue sweatshirt that i was wearing over my work shirt (which is white) and i'm covered in blue fuzz. :(

so enough of me complaining... this weekend was really good... and as the queen song "pain is so close to pleasure" says:

Ooh ooh pain is so close to pleasure oh yeah
Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all
your life
Ooh ooh pain is so close to pleasure everybody knows
One day we love each other then we're fighting one another
all the time
When I was young and just getting started
And people talked to me they sounded broken hearted
Then I grew up and got my imagination
And all I wanted was to start a new relation
So in love but love had a bad reaction
I was looking for some good old satisfaction
But pain is all I got when all I needed was some love and
affection
Ooh ooh pain is so close to pleasure yeah yeah
Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all
your life
Pain and pleasure
Ooh ooh pain and pleasure
When your plans go wrong and you turn out the light
But inside of your mind you have to put up a fight
Where are the answers that we're all searching for
There's nothing in this world to be sure of anymore
Some days you're feeling good some days you're feeling bad
But if you're feeling happy someone else is always sad
Let the sweetness of love wipe the tears from your face
For better for worse so let's make the best of the rest of our
years
Ooh ooh pain is so close to pleasure I told you so
Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all
your life
Pain and pleasure
Ooh ooh pain is so close to pleasure yeah yeah
Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all
your life
All your life
Pain - pleasure ....


friday i had to work then i made dinner for chris... saturday...oohh saturday. chris had to work, so i went shopping and spent way too much money...but then he made me dinner and we watched a movie. sunday i had to work again, but then we got to go to the evanescence concert. it was good. except for the first opener band... and the fact that it was two hours before evanescence got on stage and they stayed there only for an hour. but it was still good. i got to stand next to chris the whole time and sing along to the songs. *sigh*

grr... i have to go get this damn fuzz off of me... and then go to work.

can it be this weekend again??

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Date:2004-02-12 16:33
Subject:out with the old, in with the new?
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:stand~jewel

hmm.. i'm not sure i exactly like this new layout, but it's something different. i guess i'll see what happens with it. hmmm..... wish i knew more about programs like this so i could change things around like i like them to be. i mean, i read all the information, and you think i'd at least feel smarter... but no. not at all. i feel dumber in fact :| ahwell...
let's see... i guess this is just a test to see if this new journal layout thing works for me. so... more later i guess!!

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Date:2004-02-09 20:02
Subject:well, well, well...
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:breathe your name~sixpence none the richer

geez it's been a while since i actually updated. hmm... where to start. i guess first big news is that in about 3 weekends, i'm going to be moving in with chris into an apartment. it's close to the house that i'm at now, but still. i'll be frrreeeeeee!!!!! finally!! *yay* i can't wait. :D
i guess the second big news is that my student loan money came in, so i paid off my credit card (whoohoo!) and i actually had enough that i could buy myself some more work clothes. *shock and dismay*
hmm... school, work, school, more school... not much else. everything is good. i'm in the process of transfering all my computer files to my jumpdrive so that i can then transfer them to my new computer. haven't been doing much else. studying, but that doesn't really count as something productive when i procrastinate like i do. :P
hmmmm.... guess that's it for now. not much point to the update i guess. ahwell...

more later...

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Date:2004-01-26 22:41
Subject:fill me out!!!
Security:Public
Mood: tired
Music:every breath you take~the police

saw this, you people don't have to do it if you don't want to :P have fun though!!!

1.Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word:
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?
21. Would you make out with me?

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Date:2004-01-20 09:20
Subject:fah
Security:Public
Mood: tired
Music:why can't i~liz phair

well... nothing really eventful... bunches of crap with my phone, lots of fun that is- talking to a customer care representative that is being condescending to you. it only pisses me off and yet, there's nothing really that i can do about it *grumble grumble* ehh... it'll all be over soon. if not, i may have to do something drastic... like throw my phone in the face of someone and watch them fix the problem...and make them pay $70.........

*takes a deep breath*

there... i'm better, i swear :D *sigh* as long as break was, and as stir crazy i was for not being in class... i really don't want to have to go back to classes *whine* ahwell... i have a job with the museum now. yay! at least i'm getting some income. my loan won't be dispursed to me for another 30 days. goo. (yes, i said goo, and i meant goo. it's my new word, so there) so books may have to wait till then... which wouldn't really be a problem i don't think. i'll wait till i visit all my classes before i decide how much in debt i'll be for a while.....
*sigh* what else? hmmm... so yea. *scratches her head* i can't think of anything else that's happened that's worth writing here...

so more later i guess...
bb

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Date:2003-12-25 18:56
Subject:holidays
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:josh groban

yay... it's christmas.........

note the enthusiasm...

*sigh* i don't know. bleargh to the event of christmas. i mean, christmas eve was fantastic. chris came over and spent a good portion of the day with me and my family, watched a movie, and we did our gift exchange. it was really really nice. except for the small fits that my mom threw. then today, i swear... christmas as usual. my mom went all polar and freaked out about the littlest things. i mean shit, when a person wakes up in pain and coughing up green stuff like i did this morning, i don't feel like it's too terribly important for me to do much. granted, we all felt like shit and have all been sick, but she doesn't have to yell at us about it. then *shrug* as far as gifts go, i guess i shouldn't be complaining, because i did get some stuff, it's just that i felt (and still do feel) that i was an afterthought when it came to my family buying presents. and if that's not true... then why 1. did my brother not get me anything and 2. two of my gifts were not wrapped, but remembered this morning and handed to me in plastic bags? gah... i'm just complaining.......
anyway... so yea... *insert smile here* peachy... just peachy. i don't have to go back to class until january 20th... yay. the museum has offered me hours as a security guard after the first of the year. so i'll get some money... that's a good thing. and it's an easy job too... all i have to do is walk around and tell people not to touch the art and stuff. plus i'll get paid for all the training i have to go through. which is a really good thing. in fact, this saturday i'm filling in for elizabeth at the front desk for the whole day. *grins* money is a good thing.
i've registered for next semester and i'm taking 13 credits. tuition is due the 16th. which is a good thing, because i'll have the money to pay it by then.
sooo......yadda yadda yadda.......... here i am typing away... the internet connection keeps fading in and out. something is wrong with it, but i don't know what...i'd better post so i don't lose it...
hope everyone's christmas was joyful and all that jazz... happy holidays!

blessed be,

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Date:2003-12-03 22:04
Subject:so close together??
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:linkin park~numb (still)

mr. whiskers and grrrspacho..... just to mention them

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Date:2003-12-03 22:01
Subject:pharoh yamses, let my pickles go!!
Security:Public
Mood: melancholy
Music:linkin park~numb

this particular entry is meant to say i'm sorry. to certain people that i may have kept something from or kept secrets about.... i don't want to hurt any of you...i love you all.
for those who don't know already... chris and i are officially engaged. he proposed last saturday... and i said yes. (oh, and dave... yes, you deserve an e-mail and/or a phone call.) so yeah. we also had this long talk about honesty and all that jazz (to sum it up) and i've decided that anything important that happens from now on is going to be put on here, without worrying if someone will read it and be hurt. cause i know the people that read this are all understanding people, right? so yeah.
chris... i am so sorry that you ever felt like an afterthought. you never were and never will be. i love you. completely. and i never want to hurt you. yea, it would be nice for me to have done things right in the first place... but hey, we all make mistakes, right? i never want to make another mistake with you ever again....
dave... i was going to write this huge e-mail to you, but i just haven't gotten around to it...yet....... i will soon though, i promise.......and yes i still care for you deeply. you influenced my life like you would not believe and i will never forget that nor do i want to.
kara...i really have nothing to apologize for in this entry, except for not visiting you or sending packages... :P anyway.
for anyone i left out, sorry... i'm tired and have russian verbs running through my head trying to make me conjugate them, so the thoughts are kinda muddy..... that and i have Linkin Park pounding in the background....
so yeah. did i leave anything out up there? *thinks* oh, so now my FIANCE and i are planning lots and lots of things.......
anyway... russian calls me to it... and i will write more often i promise

blessed be......

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Date:2003-11-19 10:09
Subject:i need to measure millimeters.......
Security:Public
Mood: peaceful
Music:sixpence none the richer~divine discontent

heh. let's see. not much been going on lately. met with my second mentor last wednesday. he's really nice. friday i saw that Looney Toons movie with chris. that was fun... :D then on saturday and sunday i had my winter survival trip. that was soooo much fun. our cabin (out of 4) was heated and had a seperate bathroom and shower. and it's own water heater. so yeah. we weren't roughing it by any means :P. it was great.
anyway...hmmm.......what else. i know there was a point to me updating.... gah. i hate it when i do that. ahwell....it'll come to me.........

*thinks*

ahh....i remember. i was just procrastinating, lol. anyway. it's off to more homework then class for me. *SIGH* i really don't want to do this thing on commas for english.... bleah. then this weekend i just have to spend it writing my stupid paper. damn memoirs. then i have my project in e.v. to do and my final paper to write for astronomy. then finals are the second week in december. ack! this semester has gone by fast. i can't believe it. anyway, i should be getting my ID (state, that is) on saturday and then a new cell phone. so i'll have the number to e-mail out to people. YAY!!!! you don't now how exciting it is that i'm going to get a new phone. i'll be in contact with people again...... :P anyway, so yeah.

ahwell. italian calls.

blessed be...

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Date:2003-11-08 18:11
Subject:*yawn*
Security:Public
Mood: bored
Music:isabella~mediaeval baebes

yeah....so there. i yawned.......
anyway.....just thought i'd update this damn thing and let y'all know how i'm doing. i have been so busy lately with stuff...i mean really? when's it going to end? never probably....it's just going to get worse because once i get a job and all that jazz.....
so yeah. i talked to an academic advisor yesterday and basically i found out that i want to double major in english w/an emphasis in linguistics and chemistry w/a forensics emphasis and possibly double minor in archeaology and criminal justice. am i nuts? i haven't declared or anything yet...but still, ya know?
*sigh*
things have been stressful, what with all the medical crap with my parents and shit. my dad is going through a low spot again, so that means more treatments for him. and my mom had to start radiation for her eyes because of her grave's disease. so that's been hectic and costly.
hmm....what else. oh, i had a migraine on thursday night and it lasted until friday.
i'm thinking of cutting my hair. it's getting to be pretty long these days. well past my shoulders, in fact. almost to the bottoms of my angel wings. i want to have it cut to my chin length again. that is if i can find the time to make an appointment....
on the cell phone front..... damn cingular wouldn't sell to me because i didn't have an ID to show them, so it's turning into a hunt for a better deal than they would offer me anyway. so it's taking longer than i thought to replace the one that was stolen :( ahwell..... the only thing i really miss about it is being able to call my friends no matter where i was...that and receiving text messages.........
let's see....i think that's pretty much everything major that's happened recently, although if i think of something else....i'll just make another entry.

oh, and i wrote this about a week ago....thought i would post it just for the hell of it:

until eternity
there is blood everywhere.
i can't stand seeing you like this-
with so much pain and anguish in your eyes.
i press myself onto you
in hopes to stop the flood of hurt.
my tears drip silently to your chest
as you can no longer look at me.
as i wipe away your tears,
i notice the blood has soaked through
to our skin. it is still thick and warm...
you look longingly into my eyes
as you lift me up and place me on your bed.
you lay next to me and i wrap your limp arms around me.
as we slip into a never-ending slumber,
these words are whispered from beyond:
"eternal love never dies."
and so i hold you, save from harm
forever, love. until eternity takes you away


blessed be!!

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Date:2003-10-26 20:31
Subject:procrastinate? who me??
Security:Public
Mood: lazy
Music:mixed radio shit~~

heh....i amuse myself with my dumbass subject lines......
anyway......
so yeah.... my boyfriend and i (yes, that would be you, chris :P) are together....and we're going to be that way for a long time.....yay!
so yeah.....let's see.......last week just kinda blew past me. i still haven't remembered all i have to do. all i know is that i'm procrastinating as much as possible in writing this 5 page paper! ack! damn composition class........i guess i could do my russian....but that will suck as well, so i guess i'm stuck with writers block either way. *shrug* so yeah....on to actual blathering.... monday last week i started my mentorship with brad for e.v. he's a really nice guy...and he does a lot of work planning events and shit......so i basically have been doing grunt work all week....lol. not that i mind or anything....but for instance, on friday....riding around on that golf cart...getting staging platforms....getting a thumb smashed.... great fun..... and then getting chinese food (thanks again sandy)....only to go to tutoring to hear him complain about matrices for an hour. then i got home....felt absolutely disgusting...so i showered, then got a call to babysit for an hour and then went for pie with chris....that was fun........
anyway....now that i've put off my paper long enough......i'd better actually write it.
till next time.......

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