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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
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|Saturday, October 4th, 2003|
THis is important, useless domestics!
I have a new blurty... Its Lovejuice. Add me or die. or maybe ill just be lonely and sad.
|Saturday, August 23rd, 2003|
|Friday, August 15th, 2003|
Rich and i have been having horrible dreams lately.. we know they dont hold anything but still... bothersome. Mine last night.. i guess rich broke up with me.. changed his phone number.. and i couldnt get ahold of him to beg him back. there were these 2 guys in my bedroom who were wicked hot.. but all i could do was sit infront of our pictures and cry.. even when they were touching me and stuff. It was horrible and made me wake up early just so i could stop dreaming. But Rich called and said he would never leave me and he would die if he didnt have me.. so.. i feel better.. but still crappy.. :(
|Thursday, August 14th, 2003|
Its great.. when you only work like 3 days a week.. sit on your ass the other 4.. and still make a shitload of money. All ive done all day is play counterstrike. Rich is supposed to bring his computer over after work so that we can play all night. But i feel like just being with him and hugging him, and im sure he will agree with that. I feel good. Havent been depressed in a while. He just improves my quality of life.
Havent updated this in a while...Things have been to busy and good for me to do it. Ive been working almost every day. Starting when Rich should get out of work and ending when he goes to bed.. So i dont get to be with him. He visits me.. buys my lottery tickets.. gives me hugs... and keeps me company. Today was my first day off since saturday and we went to his house , had the best sex ever, and he made me fall even more in love with him. Thats not hard. All he has to do is sit there and my love grows deeper for him until there is no end in sight. Although my love is infinite, it still grows becoming seemingly endless. I used to envy people for their relationships and how they had someone when i didnt. Not that ive been alone often. I just havent been with anyone good. Now... it is you that should envy. Really. No one will ever find love like this. And i think that less than 10 percent actually find their soulmates. Be envious...none of you will find a boy who crys at the sight of you... be perfectly honest, devoted, and loving. You wont find someone who will take the Precious time to find out what works best with you, what you like, and when you like it.Give you full body massages. Cover your body with kisses. Think hugging you is the best thing ever. Look into your eyes and convince you that your the only thing he ever sees.. No you wont have this. You will have a guy.. who is mediocre.. because no one compares to mine. No one. We are so perfect and so in love.. and we both know this is headed into eternity....
|Monday, July 28th, 2003|
|Wednesday, July 16th, 2003|
|Wednesday, May 21st, 2003|
Name: Bloodthirsty alien guy
Favorite Food:the blood of stupid humans like you
Favorite Hobby:killing stupid humans
pt your very own monster today!
Gee whiz, tell Mommy to stop babying you so much
and get out of the house once in a while. You
are the typical nerd. Congradulations, the
other kids walk all over you and make fun of
you, but you'll show them someday when you
develop the latest line of anti-depressants
that they will need when they are 35. What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you? brought to you by Quizilla
ITS MY BIRRRTHHHHDDDDAYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOT WOOOT!!!!!!!! 18 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Friday, May 16th, 2003|
|AAaaaaahhhhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaa...lol... jeez... Im a wicked nice person too..... sigh... oh well. The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:Take the Dante's Inferno Test
Now... I came home yesterday after seeing the Matrix reloaded, And i gotta tell you people, That is the greatest movie ever. Now how people gonna tell me that it sucked and x2 was better. x2?!?! i fell asleep like twice....shit. there is no way that friggen X MEN will ever be better than the MATRIX... maybe im biased because its all geeked out, but i dont give zee shit. Matrix still rules... and whoever says it doesnt can kiss my natural black ass... white ass..... yeah.
woah... Went to see the matrix reloaded yesterday, and it was seriously the best movie ive ever seen. Plus i got to go see it with my love on our happy day. hooray! It was so much fun. then we came home and just sat around till it got to the point where i was going to pass out from exaustion. He was too, so i made him go home. But i love him so much.. Im just so happy all the time now.I cant type right now.. im too hyper.. Ill see ya on the flip side
|Thursday, May 15th, 2003|
sigh....so....tired* Just got back from hanging out with Rich, Such a wonderful day! Lots of love..but..Ive been bitchy the last few days, i dont know why. But im trying to keep rich from getting the brunt of it. I keep making him feel like hes done something wrong, when hes doing everything right. Goddamn me. Im an asshole. Im so tired right now. But im going to ramble on. Im trying to do things differently with him.... Like not worry all the time, and not get ahead of myself. Everytime ive done anything like that, i alway end up getting screwed.Everytime i look at him, he makes me want to do everything opposite from what ive done before, just so i can preserve this.. up until now i could have given a fuck about preserving what little love ive gotten from guys. He just makes me want to stay in this illusional happiness as long as possible... Funny thing is... its sinking in that its not an illusion.... but my mind wont accept that something good can happen to me like this. wow... so freeking tired... :) I dont know, ive seen him every day for almost 2 months, and every day something new happens, or something that makes me feel great. Its just weird.. Its like having a perpetually good day.. Except when im depressed, but he can make me be happy pretty quickly, its not letting my think about sad things thats the trick. but on a nother note, somethings that are pissing me off. Im sick of having Adhd. Im sick of my brain not functioning from drugs. Im sick of being unstable. Im sick of being wild and out of control. Im sick of not knowing when to quit. Im sick of hurting the people that love me. Im sick of hurting myself. Do you know, one of the main signs for suicide is thinking about it? I think about it on a daily basis. Not necessarily doing it, but mostly what if.. If i did, i wouldnt be in constant pain, (because lord knows im never without physical pain) If i did, i wouldnt have to worry about school, home, parents anything. But if i did do it. I would miss out on the greatest thing i have ever come in contact with. And thats someone who actually loves me. And why do i feel like, i was supposed to have not been loved before now.. just so i wont be prepared for this, and i think its new and exciting.. But im not going to jump ahead of myself, Its too soon. Sigh....Love.. such things that make me stay. AND I tYPE TOO DAMN MUCH!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BED!!!!! Current Mood: lovedCurrent Music: Digweed- we are connected
|Tuesday, May 13th, 2003|
Im so HYPER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAH!!! i had the bestest night hanging out with Rich... Hes seriously the cutest thing ever....!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
|Monday, May 12th, 2003|
|Just an old fashioned love song....
Ah.....more mushy stuffs.... I just got finished painting "I Love Rich" on my ceiling... The glow in the dark paint patterns came out great, they glow like a dream.. My shade for my window has hand prints which is kinda creepy, but oh wellz. My bunk bed has been taken apart, so now i have a normal peoples bed... Its too hard to have sex on bunk beds. I am grateful for this conveniance. Tommorow is going to be great, all day long of Rich, after he gets outta work. Sigh.. Such a wonderful life i lead. We went to the old ruined foundations tonight and someone was lighting off fireworks. tried counting the stars until the numbers got too numerous (redunant redundancy) Got up to 13 before they all popped out. But it was a lovely time. Its great, to finally be in love with someone, and have them love me back. And we are doing all of the things i could have ever hoped to happen. Hes just totally fufilling my life.. so much....and im just so caught up in this love that nothing phases me (cept when im pmsing, but that doesnt count) So anyways.. Ill post tommorow when im not insanely tired.. I love who ever reads this.. at this point i love you all. :) Current Mood: giddyCurrent Music: the music that has no sound
Emotional Wreck. You are extremely emotional. You
feel contentment moreso than happiness and your
emotional lows are to the extreme. You need to
cheer up and start enjoying your life. Where
there is rain there is a rainbow and you need
to see it more than others. Do something that
makes you happy. How Emotional Are You? brought to you by Quizilla