05:18pm 09/12/2003
 
mood: numb
music: Finch- Untitled
Hey! Today was different. Some friends decided to make an ABC sex list. Fun. I found out that this guy i like knows that i like him. He said hi 2 me but he has a g/f. that's okay. I'll take his friend instead. Back The Fuck Up Chad!. lol. It's kewl that u guys want to give me advice but me asking out that one guy is never going to happen. Over my dead body. i really wish i could stop liking him. fuck fuck fuck. Oh well. I don't really like anyone right now except for him....and uhh him. I got a lot of attention today. A lot of it unwanted. And jeez if ur over 19 then u oughta b ashamed of urself. Although i'm one to talk what with thinking a teacher @ my school is hott. Lol, oh well. when i was walking home this guy was lying on the ground looking at me and it was kinda creepy. Well g2g. peace out.
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
Just leave me to my sorrows   
06:56pm 08/12/2003
 
mood: pessimistic
music: Cold- Stupid Girl
Hey u guys. I just thought i'd let u know that i really do appreciate u. i mean i feel so unwanted and completely invisible latelty but i know that u care. Well some of u anyways. But lately i've been trying really hard to fight back the tears. I have my moments of highs and lows but mostly lows. These mood swings are insane. But thanks for understanding and not being too judgmental. Sometimes i just want to be alone b/c i feel that way even when i'm surrounded by the people i love.

Anyways today was okay. I luv my dress but those damn shoes kill my feet everytime i wear them. I found out I have some more stalkers. Interesting. Why anyone in their right mind would stalk me just baffles me. & by the way do i have, "I'm Gay" tattooed on my fucken forehead? b/c i'm not so stop looking at me like a fucken piece of ass. Anywho, I beat Ryan w/ my notebook today b/c he gets to go to this concert that i've been Dying to go to. *cries* Jon hugged me today. It's been awhile and i'm still kinda pissed @ him. Oh well. Our school should just turn into an all gay school and kick the damn straight ppl out b/c there are tooonnnnsss of gay ppl there. I have the attention of a lot of chicks there for some reason. Lately there's been this errie awkward vibe and it makes me wanna curl up and hide. I feel so shy around everyone. I don't want to talk to anyone and when i do it's of few words. Well i don't feel like talking right now either so peace out.
 
     

(Burst into Flames | Ready To Explode?)

 
"No Lies, Just Love"   
02:48am 07/12/2003
 
mood: sleepy
music: Offspring- Hit That
Hey! Lol, i just accidently stuck my chin in my icecream bowl. Don't ask....hehe. Today started off boring. I just up around 1'ish and then i read my book, "The Hobbit" for like 3 hours. Actaully i kinda like it but i don't want to read it b/c I have to do a project on it and it was required. I want to hurry up and finish it b/c there are some other books that i wanna read. So anyways Around 6'ish I went to the mall and waited for over an hour for Jennifer to show up. Way to be punctual. Lol, but i don't really mind. I ran into some ppl from school. Passed by M1, was bored, turned around, "followed" him for a while and then went to the pet store where this 2 pervs gave me this kinky look. This chick @ Hot Topic complemented me on my nails. She's one of the few chicks that work there that i can tolerate. Saw Danny, Cole, and his g/f.....so I went running the other way. I don't get why people are always staring at me. When they do i just stare at them back . I spent most of the money i got yesterday. I bought myself a nifty maroon jacket, a shirt, 3 buttons, bracelets, a cd, and i think that's it. Oh and a mountain dew. Lol, can't forget the mountain dew. I took some pictures w/ Jennifer @ the movies while we were waiting. The movie didn't start until 9:40 and we were there @ 8:30. ohh well. We saw The Haunted Mansion. Not bad for a disney movie. I wonder if my one friend will be interested in seeing "Miracle" w/ me. It's about hockey so maybe it'll spark his interest. I think i like him a lot...to the point where it's scary. My computer is a fucken whore. I swear this thing has restarted at least ten times on me. Grr!! Anyways. My stomach looks kinda kewl. Hehe. I've got your two point perspective right here. Lol, I'm never going to do that art project...well not anytime soon. Well I should probably go. Peace Out and Goodnight or Good Morning I Should say.
______________________________________________________________________


Radio
by Alkaline Trio

Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing, after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
While you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm making my plans for revenge.
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge.
I'd drive straight off the edge.

Taking your own life with boredom,
I'm taking my own life with wine -
it helps you to rule out the sorrow,
it helps me to empty my mind.
Making the most of a bad time
I'm smoking the brains from my head
Leaving the coal calling the kettle black and orange and red
This kettle is seeing red.

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling.
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying.
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall.

Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm planning out my revenge.
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge.
I'm seeing red.

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling.
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying.
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall.

Plugged in and ready to fall.
Plugged in and ready to fall.

Plugged in and ready to fall.
____________________________________________________________________________

Falling For You by Student Rick

this drowning sorrow is shaking me
more than it ever has before
the road signs reading bitter end
leave me suspect of a crime

the city air chokes me today
more than it ever has before
i’m to nervous to feel deserved
by these street signs anymore

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get her home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

these empty feelings question me
of who i think i’ve become
my mind is ticking life away
asking if you are the one

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get her home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

i’m dying to explain my heart
to you now
i’m dying to explain my heart
to you now
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you
_________________________________________________________________
No Lies, Just Love
by Bright Eyes

It was in the march of the winter I turned seventeen
That I bought those pills
I thought I would need
And I wrote a letter to my family
Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me
It's just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon
And I've heard that music
Echo through the house
Where my grandmother drank
By herself
And I sat watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by its honesty
So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken its place

So please forgive what I have done
No you can't stay mad at the setting sun
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually
There is nothing left to do but sleep

But spring came bearing sunlight
Those persuasive rays
So I gave myself a few more days
My salvation it came, quite suddenly
When Justin spoke very plainly
He said "Of course it's your decision,
But just so you know,
If you decide to leave,
Soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
Who has yet to be born
My brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover loss
So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arrive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
Just love.
Just love.

I will be pure
No, no, I know I will be pure
Like snow, like gold
Like snow, like gold
Like snow, like snow
Like gold, like gold, like gold
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
hmmm......snow......   
07:35pm 05/12/2003
 
mood: quixotic
music: Tallman- Cope
hey! This whole week has been crazy but loads of fun. I found out a whole bunch of things that just made my day. Like I found out this guy I liked last year likes me 2. it's too bad I hadn't known that sooner. My friend took back what he said b4 about me looking my best...he said that I look my best today. Thanks. U guys r awesome. I found out that I do exist to m2 and his other lover. I've had some pretty funny/disturbing convos lately. I've been really sick but that's okay b/c I have the weekend to recover. M2 leans a lil to the left. Hehe. Don't ask. Noooo!!! Take my pictures of ur site. Lol, actually I don't even care but send me the link. When I c myself I know I'll cringe but I'll deal. A ;lot of ppl have told me that I'm hott which is very odd. Hehe. I don't see how but umm okay. M2's jacket says "discharge" in big letters on the back of it. Hehe. Trent is everywhere. He was there after school after I got outta tutoring, he was there today after school when I missed the bus (for the 2nd time...this week). Well hey, I was in no hurry. I carved "help" into my stomach w/ a razorblade. I wonder if i'll get sick b/c the blade was either covered in rust or blood. Oh well. On Monday i should go talk to all the ppl that i want. Lol, i need to find some balls. Grr! Oh well. Maybe i'll b able to hang out this weekend. Lol, doubt it but u know i'm just going to b a wishful thinker here for a moment. Yesterday was very amusing. Let's recap (what i can remember anyways)
-fight in math
-found out a lot of good news
-saw the most beautiful people
and wow that's all i can remember. Jeez i gotta write this stuff down b/c i'm 4getful. Everyone has been leaving me latelty. But i did find out that i'm not that invisble. That's always nice to know. Hehe. Hey thomas...mr. b likes to "play" in the snow. Hehe. U got ur dance from danny today! Haha, i feel ur pain. At least u weren't mooned.....i'll never b the same. I don't care how old Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie r cuz WOAH hehe. Hottness! Y does everyone freak out when they c that u carve things into ur skin? Omg, it's self mutalation. Who cares? A bunch of ppl think that i'm going out w/ thomas. Y is everyone so assumptious? I mean, r guyz and chicks not allowed to b just friends? Most of my friends are guys. I saw Jon after school today. I 4got he worked @ Kroger but apparently he does. We waved @ each other and then i gnored him. Although he's hott....really really hott, i'm not really friends w/ him anymore. I wonder how many ppl i like right now. Lol, i don't even know. Probably more than i could count on my fingers and toes. Hehe. Not really but ya . These guys walked by me yesterday and this guy said to this guy who likes me, "is that ur baby's mama" i flicked him off. No way in hell dude. Not for all the money or jelly beans in the world. NEVER!!!!.....anyways....Hopefdully i won't b grounded for much longer. Hey Ryan, when u guys get a new gig i'll try hard to go, okay? Alright. Well i'm going to go now. Peace out. I LOVE U GUYZ!
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
Never Eat Icecream Again...*shiver*   
05:41pm 02/12/2003
 
mood: rushed
music: Jawbreaker- Fireman
hey! Sorry I haven't updated. I've been grounded and actually I still am. Grr! Well oh well. I'm just thinking about what has happened since my last update and a lot has happened. Before the break the only thing I remember is me "accidentally" rubbing up on m2. oh yeah! Hehe. He didn't look at me like I'm crazy either. During the break I was grounded and was dragged around by my parents. Fun fun fun. Last night I was up until 3 am vomiting. Fun. everyone's been making me feel better lately. lol, like yesterday my friend yelled, "I love u Ashley!!!" all the way down the hall. My friend told me that, "I look my best today" that made me feel better. I haven't been feeling so good lately. Mentally or physically. M2 cut off his beautiful black hair. Asshole. I keep running into him. Lol, I mean really. He's soo much taller than me 2 that I have to look up 2 c him. He's rather odd. He gives me these odd looks. I wonder what they mean if anything at all. Sorry about the balls thing turtle. Hehe. My friend asked me this really personal question today. Lol, and I didn't want to answer so I just implied the answer w/out actually stating it but obviously he got it b/c he did his lil eye brow thing. It was funny though. My mom made me eat breakfast b/c I threw up everything I ate last night and it would "soothe" my stomach. Today is my late Great grandmother's birthday. I miss her but I'm glad she went the way she did b/c she suffered enough in her life. I'm sorry I haven't lived up to my expectations but u know there's always time for change. Well anyhow, today was had it's ups and down just like any other day. Well I really don't remember b/c my mind is still a lil clouded over so peace out.
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
07:37pm 22/11/2003
 
mood: relieved
music: 3 days grace- i hate everything about you
Hello. U know when it comes to telling ppl how I feel i'm really no good at it. Things have not been good and that won't change no matter how much i smile. I mean most kids don't get along w/ their parents, i know that but something seems different. We really hate each other. My mom makes me want to kill myself. I hate her guts but @ the same time i guess i love her b/c i feel that i have to. She likes to tell me what a horrible person i am. Well to tell u the truth she's the horrible person. All she ever does is put me down. It's always "ur too fat" "ur ugly" "ur not good enough and u'll never amount to anything" she "tries" to tell me that she's only like that b/c she is trying 2 save me from the hurt of my peers. Well in all actuality she's just trying 2 make herself feel better. I hope it's worth it to her b/c she makes me cry like nobody else can. I just into the kitchen and she started telling me how dirty i look. Well wtf do u expect when i'm sick? Oh well. U should c the looks she gives me. She looks @ me w/ disgust. She's always like "when i was 19 i only weighed 110" well shut the fuck up b/c that's disgustingly skinny u once anorexic bitch. I guess karma got her for that one b/c now she's fat. Last night she was trying 2 tell me how i gained 40 lbs since we moved here. That's bull shit b/c i only gained like 1/2 that but i got taller too. The weight i did gain was from depression. She makes me depressed. Every time she tells me i'm fat i go and get something 2 eat. She is my eating disorder and she knows it. They never listen 2 my opinion. They demand answers fro "y i'm like this" like what? When i try 2 explain they literally tell me "to shut the fuck up" to it's fucken pointless. My mom likes to tell me how ashamed she is of me. Wtf have i ever done to her? I guess i should b shot since i don't make straight a's all the time eh mom? U need some fucken help. Now i'm fucked up 2 and it's b/c of u. My eating disorder started when i was young...around 5th grade I'd say. U gain like 50 lbs and it's "just a lil weight" but when i gain 1 lbs it's like "omfg ur fat" U r the nosiest bitch i've ever met. My life is none of ur god damned business. U make me sick. All the times i've had a sharp object in my hand i've thought about how much i hate u and how much more of u i can take and i have to put it down b4 i do something stupid and just cry my eyes out. I feel like crying everyday. U demand 2 know y i cry. Ur the fucken reason i cry. Nobody gets how u really r except for me and my dad. Everyone thinks ohh "but ur mom is so nice" bull fucken shit dude i know u have a heart condition and i feel bad but u r pathetic. U want everyone 2 feel bad for u but they don't and it pisses u off so u take it out on me and my dad. I feel bad for him too. U always tell him how fat he is and how he's a fucked up hillbilly from west Virginia and he's white trash. That's bull shit. He may b an asshole but he worked hard to get where he is unlike urself who hasn't had a job since u were 19. i have lots more to say but i'll say it some other day.
 
     

(Burst into Flames | Ready To Explode?)

 
   
07:03pm 22/11/2003
 
mood: sympathetic
music: 3 days grace- i hate everything about you
Hello my pretties. I'm feeling better but i still can't go to swayze's tonight. Grrr!
_________________________________________________________________________

Me: y does is seem like everytime i talk 2 u we bicker over what chick is the hottest?...
Me: maybe i am lesbian....
Friend: Iunno, a case of repressed lesbianism?
Me: maybe
Me: haha, i'm screwed
Friend: lucky...
Friend: i mean, hrm?
Me: hehe
Me: hopefully i'm not....cuz umm just no
Friend: psh, why not? I'm a lesbian
Me: lol...yeaaahh
Friend: I really am just a mad lesbian sex kitten trapped in a man's body
Me: lol....oh yeah!!
Me: ...do u have a movie out?
----------------------------------------------------------------
hehe. Anyways, i'm kinda pissed b/c i might b failing algebra 1. If i do then i'll b grounded for forever and a day.
Wow umm my eyes r watering and i realy feel like crying so i guess i'll go. Peace out
 
     

(Burst into Flames | Ready To Explode?)

 
   
05:25pm 22/11/2003
 
mood: gloomy
music: Taking Back Sunday- You're so last summer
Join Us

"Ticking away the moments
that make up the dull day
You fritter and waste
the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground
in your home town
Waiting for someone or something
to show you the way"

- pink floyd

John

Streetlights
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
02:34pm 21/11/2003
 
mood: sick
music: Blink 182- Give Me one good reason
Hey ppl!!Today was okay i guess. It was awfully long and i was sick though plus i kept trying 2 stay awake but was tired as hell. I was supposed 2 present this project in lit but mu teacher didn't make me and i still got 100%. Lol, i am good. Hehe. I wonder y he did that...Turlte u better not b right w/ ur theory on why. Eww!! He's like 31...uhh not that that has stopped me b4 *cough* *cough* hehe j/k . U know what? I don't remember what else happened. I really don't. so peace out.
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
11:41pm 20/11/2003
 
mood: accomplished
music: Gob- For the moment
***Jack Off Jill- Horrible***

I can't exist anymore
till I destroy you
I hate everyone
Don't know what to do
Ingesting flesh and bone
makes me a cannibal
Or am I criminal?
I feel so horrible

Horrible
and everything's horrible
Horrible

Sucking on colorforms
Becoming see through
Still hating everyone
as I detest you
I do not feel wrong
this makes me durable
or am I criminal
I'm so damn horrible

Horrible
and everything is horrible
Horrible

Fade into yesterday
Searching for my youth
Trying to digest it all
Searching for the truth
Self centered devil spawn
This makes me durable
Or am I criminal
I'm fucking horrible

Horrible
Now everything's horrible
Horrible

Horrible
Now everything's horrible
Horrible
Horrible
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
***Taking Back Sunday - Great Romance Of The 21st Century***

September never stays this cold
where I come from and you know
i'm not (i'm not one) one for complaining (for complianing)
but i'd love the way you'd roll excuses off the tip of your tounge
as i slowly (slowly quietly slowly) fall apart ( fall apart)

I said this wont mean a thing come tomorrow
and thats exactly how i'll make it seem
because i'm still not sleeping thinking
i'v crawled home from worse than this so please ( please)
im running out of sympathy
and i never said i'd take this
no i never said i'd take this lying down

she says come on come on let's just get this over with
she says come on come on let's just get this over with
i never said i'd take this lying down
(she say's come on come on let's just get this over with)
i'v crawled home from worse than this
(she say's come on come on let's just get this over with)
from worse than this

you always come close but you never come easy
(i still know everything)
you always come close but you never come easy
( i still know everything)
you always come close but you never come easy
( i still know everything i still know i still know eveything i still know)

you always come close but this never comes easy
you always come close but you never come easy
your coming (coming) close
i never said i'd take this lying down

i never said i'd take this lying down
but i've crawled home from worse than this
if it's not keeping you up nights
then what's the point (then what's the point)
then what's the point (then what's the point)

i'm in your room, is this turning you on
am i turning you on
i'm in your room
are you turned on
i'm on the corner of your bed practically naked
are you turned on are you turned on
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
***Gob- I Hear You Calling***

I've seen you now
About the fourth time
Baby, but you know that I got nothing to say
It's so charming to look on your face
But your eyes inviting something
I just can't do now
I've been around about your hood
I'm looking for you
Just to shine some light on my day
Feels like ages since i've been out your way
I've been caught up
With a handful of new sensations

CHORUS

I hear you calling
Calling for me out in the night
But it's all bad
And I know that

I've seen you now
About the fifth time
Baby, but you know I got nothing to say
It's so charming to look on your face
But your eyes inviting something
I just can't do now
I've been around about your hood
I'm looking for you
Just to shine some light on my day
Feels like ages since i've been out your way
I've been caught up
With a handful of new sensations

I hear you calling,
calling for me out in the night,
but its all bad,
and I know that.

I hear you calling,
calling for me out in the night,
but its all bad,
and I know that.

I hear you calling,
calling for me out in the night,
but its all bad,
and I know that.

I hear you calling,
calling for me out in the night,
but its all bad,
and I know that.

I hear you calling,
calling for me out in the night,
but its all bad,
and I know that.

I hear you calling,
calling for me out in the night,
but its all bad,
and I know that.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Falling For You by Student Rick

this drowning sorrow is shaking me
more than it ever has before
the road signs reading bitter end
leave me suspect of a crime

the city air chokes me today
more than it ever has before
i’m to nervous to feel deserved
by these street signs anymore

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get her home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

these empty feelings question me
of who i think i’ve become
my mind is ticking life away
asking if you are the one

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get her home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

i’m dieing to explain my heart
to you now
i’m dieing to explain my heart
to you now
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
talk about being straight forward....   
11:37pm 20/11/2003
 
mood: silly
music: Deadsy- Brand new love
Sex by Berlin

Feel the fire, feel my love inside you it's so right
There's the sound and the smell of love in my mind
I'm a toy, come and play with me, say the word now
Wrap your legs around mine and ride me tonight

I'm a man - I'm a goddess
I'm a man - Well I'm a virgin
I'm a man - I'm a blue movie
I'm a man - I'm a bitch
I'm a man - I'm a geisha
I'm a man - I'm a little girl
And we make love together

Slip and slide in your wet delight, feel the blood flow
Not too fast, don't be slow, my love's in your hands

I'm a man - I'm a boy
I'm a man - Well I'm your mother
I'm a man - I'm a one night stand
I'm a man - Am I bi
I'm a man - I'm a slave
I'm a man - I'm a little girl
And we make love together

Skin to skin, tongue to oooh! Come on honey hold tight
Come inside, it's a passion play just for you
Let's get lost in that magic place all alone now
Drink your fill from my fountain of love, wet your lips

I'm a man - I'm a teaser
I'm a man - Well I'm a virgin
I'm a man - I'm a one night stand
I'm a man - I'm a drug
I'm a man - Well I'm your slave
I'm a man - I'm a dream divine
And we make love together

I'm a man - I'm a goddess
I'm a man - I'm a hooker
I'm a man - I'm a blue movie
I'm a man - I'm a slut
I'm a man - I'm a geisha
I'm a man - I'm babe
I'm a man - I'm a dream divine
And we make love together
And we'll make love forever
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
Winnie the Pooh the town whore!!   
11:36pm 20/11/2003
 
mood: content
music: The starting line- this ride
Hey! Today was a blur but I do remember that it was a pretty good day...minus the major headache, sleepiness, and failing all my tests. Lol. Turtle, find ur fucken balls already. Lol, ur worse than me.....maybe. okay so..*cough* maybe I'm worse*cough* we found a new house....too bad I don't like it at all. *sigh*. I guess my opinion doesn't count (not like it ever did anyways) b/c I'll only b there until I get outta h/s then I'm getting the hell outta Georgia and moving somewhere sunny (but no 2 sunny b/c I like my pasty color, lol) w/out these damned hicks. Haha...not to b judgmental or anything. This one guy I like is such an asshole. I wanna kick him in the balls at the top of the staircase...and then watch him fall down...*smiles* amusing thought. This chick asked me yesterday if I was a model and when my hair was blowing b/c of the wind this guy said I looked like a model w/ my hair like that. Crazy ass ppl. Ppl are so weird....but I'm not *cough* lie *cough* hehe. This chick brought her mommy to the bus stop w/ her this morning to yell @ this guy b/c he said "fuck you" 2 her. Haha, when I saw that all I get is "is that an offer?" hehe. Straight forward 11 yr old manwhores. Hehe. That's kind of cute actually. Haha...don't ask. Aww! I wanna go 2 ur guyz's wedding! That's soo sweet. I luv u guyz! Hehe...Hey John, sorry about the phone incident earlier...I was having one of my blonde moments. I've been really ditzy lately. It's scaring the hell outta me. I got a little carried away w/ the bracelets and now I'm wearing like 18 of them. Hehe. Even if I was a model...wtf would I model anyways? Shit, I've gotta go b/c my mom is getting outta the shower. I luv u guyz mucho!!
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
08:42pm 19/11/2003
 
mood: crushed
music: Simple Plan- Worst Day Ever
Hey! Yesterday was rather interesting. I accidenlt stepped in the blood of this guy i used 2 like b/c i saw m2 and naturally i ran towards him....which he saw but hehe oh well. I was feeling very stalkerish. This one guy who is one of my stalkers is out 2 get me. Jeez, he insists on saying hi 2 me and shit all the time. It wouldn't bother me at all if i were actually friends w/ him and didn't despise the hell out of him no matter how wrong that may sound. I heard m2 singing. Aww!! He has a very sexy voice. Lunch is always a different part of the day for me. We're always running from or after somebody. U know Turtle 11 outta 14 ppl isn't bad. Hmm.. ya anyways. U got Trent's germs and now i have them! Muahahahaha!! This is a very fucked up cycle:
Person A likes Person B
Person B likes Peron C
Person D likes person B
Person c likes Person A and person E....thus leaving Person A sad, Person c Pissed off, and well the other 2 ppl unknown. Oh well. We r getting a new house soon. Yay!!I feel so ignored. I don't know y but i do. And i always feel so alone no matter where i am and who i'm with. It sux major ass 2 feel that way. Well anyways i'm going 2 go 4 now b/c i'm feeling to lazy to tell u what happened roday as if i care anyways.
 
     

(Burst into Flames | Ready To Explode?)

 
   
07:36pm 17/11/2003
 
mood: chipper
music: Dexter Danger- Wanted Dead ( I *heart* u Aymen!!)
Hello. I just spent 20 minutes crawling on the ground looking for my damn earring. Isn't that exciting? U know what? Dexter Danger rocks soo hard it's not even funny. Oh yeah!!! I luv u Aymen....U Just don't know it. hehe.
Today was okay but tomorrow's another day!! I'm pretty fucken happy right now and i don't know y. well i luv u all....except for a few certain @$$hole$...
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
06:16pm 17/11/2003
 
mood: exhausted
music: Shindig- here i am
Hey! Today was okay i guess. Everyone was gone today. *cries* Thomas wasn't there, neither was Daniel and i'm sure some other ppl weren't there either but i didn't really notice. I feel like vomiting. I just ate this cookie that was covered in icing and sprinkles. *gags* I had this funny convo w/ my gay friend today. I was talking to him and Turtle walked up and scared him. And it was like:
*Bob: U surprised me and from behind 2
Me: U like surprises from behind don't u?
*Bob: More than u know
haha.....I luv u...umm...Bob!!! All these random ppl were talking 2 me today. I had some close encounters w/ Andrew today. Haha.....that was soo bad when he looked up and heard what we were talking about. He really really didn't need to know that. Then after-school when u were like "there's andrew..andrew...andrew....an-drew. Haha, he so heard that and then saw me turn around and look @ him and then he heard me. I *heart* him!! I should've grabbed m2's fuck buddy (hehe...remember a few days ago when he walked outta the bathroom w/ a bigass smile on his face?? Oh yeah!). he might've looked @ me kinda weird or maybe he even would've smiles. Who knows? Either way, it'd b worth it. If he is going out w/ a freshman then that's just sad on his part. Jeez, i'm sure there are plenty of junior and senior gurls that drool over him. I really wanna talk 2 Andrew but i'm 2 scared.*sniff* *sniff* i wasn't blessed w/ ppl skills. He might think i'm weird....which i am...but still. I got m2's attention w/ my skirt today. Damn he's hott. I need to meet some new ppl. I hate most of my friends. Grr!! I need to stop meeting assholes....and ppl who like to follow me around and talk nonstop *cough* michael *cough* ya, well he better not call me. I'll b pissed if he does. Guess what my orthodontist said? He said i can get my braces off in like 2-3 months...which is probably a fucken lie but oh well. I went to the grocery store w/ my pu's earlier and while i was fixing my skirt this guy drove by and turned his head like 180 degrees. Ya, that was so not obvious. And this other guy turned 2. fucken weirdos. I don't get y ppl do that. It's not as if they've never seen legs b4. I wonder how many ppl i flashed today. Well anyways i'm going to go think....err something.
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
03:54pm 16/11/2003
 
mood: contemplative
music: gob- i hear you calling
You are Michale Graves. The sexy vocalist that guys want to be like, and girls want to be with! You use that siren like voice to lure your fans...Go you! I applaud you!
You are Michale Graves, the vocalist to the newly
resurrected Misfits, you are sexy and have a
voice that the gods envy...Hooray for you!


Which Misfits member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Which One of Davey Havok's Body Parts Are YOU?


The Malkavians
You are from clan Malkavian. Even other Damned fear
the Malkavians. The cursed blood of their clan
has polluted their minds, with the result that
every last Malkavian across the world is
incurably insane. What's worse, a Malkavian's
madness can take nearly any form, from
overpowering homicidal tendencies to near-
catatonia. In many cases, there's no way to
tell a Malkavian apart from the
"sane" members of other clans. Those
few whose psychoses are immediately obvious are
among the most terrifying vampires to stalk the
streets..
size="+1">
Now come and join your vampire community. href=http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Capadocious>ENTER
HERE to become immortal.



What Vampire Clan Are You In (More Clans)
brought to you by Quizilla



You Are definatly crazy! You neet to get some help.
You know there are places for pepol like you...


How crazy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're A Little Bitter. Aren't we all? You're
pissed off, and no matter what it is that has
incurred your wrath, you don't mind letting
society know how much you hate it. Not that
there's anything wrong with that.


Which Alice in Chains song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're ruler over all evilness/darkness.When you
finally find your final occupation,You will
probably involved in a number of terrorist
attacks and be in jail quite often. All of your
friends say they know you well...but the
question is do they?


What Kind of Force Do You Rule Over?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wild Berry Skittle! You are a Wild Berry Skittle.
Sophisticated, economical, smart, and
knowledgable! You know exactly what you are
doing and are proud of it! You usually have
many friends because they want to hang out with
someone who knows what they are doing, usually.
Keep it up!


What kind of Skittle Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
Pure.

"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."


The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.

As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

you're so dumb
you are the "you're so dumb" happy bunny.
you are brutal in your words and enjoy putting
others down.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Dark
<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )

brought to you by Quizilla

lip kiss
kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but
quite daring. you move for the kill confidently
knowing the other person wants the same thing.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

uni
You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."


Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... anger.
You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
02:38am 16/11/2003
 
mood: enthralled
music: murderdolls- 197666
Hell my pretties! I am soo weeee happy for no fucken reason at all. That's alright though b/c it's better than being all depressed. I went to the mall today and my parents fucken stalked me for like an hour. Bastards. I hate their guts mucho and they need to stay the fuck outta my life. I saw m3 and he is omfg hott!! That doesn't make it okay that he didn't say hi though. So what if he has a g/f? All i wanted for him to say hi and it's not like i asked him for a mad make out session in the middle of the mall. Jeez. Oh well. I'm stroking ur balls Turtle! With my good hand!! Oh yeah!!! Haha j/k. soo disturbing. I still maintain that i don't need to get laid. & by who anyways? Aww! That guy from Jupiter Sunrise was adorable. So'd u talk to the @$$hole that has no @$$? I didn't and i don't plan to no matter how fucken drop dead gorgeous he is.. hehe. He is soooo skinny it's kinda gross. Seriously brings me back to the breaking ppl in half convo. Ahhh!!! Oh well. Come do my damn geog project and lit essay fro me b/c i really don't feel like it. Ya, i got bitched @ when my parents picked me up. Did u c the dirty look my mom gave me? Bitch. Well i don't remember what else happened today so I'm going to go think. I luv u guys!!...well....some of u.
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
M2 no tiene un mono en su pantalones. hehe.   
01:13am 15/11/2003
 
mood: devious
music: philmore- mobile telephones
Hello dollies. I'm pretty giggly right now. So is my picture on the wall on the wall? Oh yeah!! I guess i'm cold b/c i'm wearing 3 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, and 2 pairs of socks. Lol. Umm ya i think M2 should come over and warm me up. Hehe. Good thought.... I was standing next to my mom when she was yelling at me and i'm like "haha!! I'm taller than u!!" cuz she always calls me short but i'm taller. I can't stop thinking about this umm one guy. I'm sad that Andrew wasn't around me today b/c i didn't get the chance to tackle him. I wonder what he was thinking the 1st time that i did. U know what? For some really odd reason i wanna kiss this one guy but it really wouldn't work. Like yesterday in art this guy tore this chick's face out of a magazine and was fliping through some pictures finding which body looked best and he found this pic w/ a guy w/ his arm around this chick and he said 2 me, "is he hott?" i'm like "uhh no" then he put the chick's head on the guy's body and he was like "is it hott now?" i'm like "ohh yeah!!" and when i looked up again he had his hand all the way down his pants right in the middle of art class. It was funny as hell. Thomas, u know what? Mother fucker u r evil. Lol, i'm not even going to c if u want to hang out this weekend. It's hopeless. Yes, that's right....i'm giving up on u and there's not a damn thing u can do about it!!!! Muhahaha!!! Umm ya.....don't mind me. Does anybody know any single straight or bi guyz? Lol. Most of the guys i know are gay and so that doesn't help even though i luv them to death....w/ the exception of one...*cough*Billy*cough*. I wanted 2 talk to Michael u prick! Umm ya just a lil pissed. Sheep.....Bah Bah!!!! I've had some really disturbing thoughts today....more disturbing than usual anyways. Well anyways i'm going to go think. I Luv u guyz!
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)

 
   
04:32pm 14/11/2003
 
mood: contemplative
music: philmore- mobile telephones
Hey! I'm still happy about last night. In fact i can't stop smiling/laughing. hehe. Lllloooooonnnngggg story. This convo that i had w/ Brittany was sooo fucken funny. Haha. I am soo good. I tricked u and i made u turn red!! Plz plz plz plz plz plz don't tell u know who about u know what!!!!! Lol. Today was kinda good even though i didn't get to tackle Andrew *sigh*. That's kinda bad that i'm the same age as a 7th grader. As for the convo in the library...I do not Need to get laid....hehe j/k. I don't. I'm not going to either. Lol, i don't want a prostitute. U actually thought lunch was fun today? I didn't mind nearly getting knocked down by Chad or the freakishly pale dude in the lgi. Lol. Wow!! Pale guys do rock hard!! Oh yeah!!! I made a Sims game last night w/ Turtle, Chad, Thomas, and myself. That should b interesting...hehe. I think i shall convert some ppl. *muhahahaha* well I'm going to go ponder my miserable existence...whoops i meant umm never mind...
 
     

(Burst into Flames | Ready To Explode?)

 
I luv u, I hate u, Go fuck urslef, go fuck me....oops, how'd that one get there ;)   
06:24pm 13/11/2003
 
mood: naughty
music: Marilyn Manson- The Beautiful People
Hello my pretties. I'm pretty happy right now. It's a miracle. Just thinking about my day. This one guy was like "what's ur #?" i'm like "uhhh...i don't remember" and then m2 walked by and i'm like "i'll take urs though" m2 is umm WOW!! I was talking to this one guy and 2 minutes into the conversation he asked me if i wanted to bang. Lol, it was funny. I won't tell u what my answer was...hehe j/k. I'm not like that. Sux for all my stalkers doesn't it? Hehe. U know what? Michael (the dropout) needs to take his ass back to school no matter how lame it is. I wanna talk to him. Billy u suck! I realy do wanna show up on his front porch but ya know it'd b nice if he was actually home. I'm such a fucken loser for not talking to Daniel. He was standing like a yard away from me for like 5 minutes. I have balls (not literally) and now i've just got to figure out how to use them. Haha so kinky sounding. Ohh well. I should talk to Andrew tomorrow. I'll do my usual thing. Walk up like i-am-so-going-to-do-this-b/c-i-can and then run away like the loser that i am. Help me!! Some other stuff happened today but i can't remember what...hmmm.
 
     

(Ready To Explode?)