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Sunday, October 9th, 2005
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12:46 pm - So good, so good, so good
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Well, it was a great year for the Red Sox. I'm not anywhere near as devasted as I was in '03. This wasn't a typical ugly loss. This year saw excellent teams running neck and neck in a close race in which I think they can be proud to have come this far in. The White Sox have done an amazing job and I'm looking forward to seeing them grab a Series. They deserve it.
I was dreading the same, familiar sick feeling if the Red Sox were to lose this year, but it never came. I guess last year's catharsis purged all that. I don't know if I can explain - in Boston, even if you weren't always a big baseball fan, Red Sox Nation creeps into your consciousness as you grow up. You might not be paying attention to the season and you might think you don't care, but with every step forward, a small part of your mind lets you start to believe. Back when I would have sworn that I didn't give a shit about baseball, my heart still broke a little every time they characteristically (at least, characteristic of yesteryear) dropped the ball on a season of promise. You learned quickly that growing up Boston was a death of a thousand broken promises. But every year, that letdown drew me to pay a little more attention. To keep after the scores and learn how to follow the standings. The agony increased with the caring and the caring increased with the agony. It was the dark side of devotion. And me, still very much a newcomer to the fold...the intensity with which a lifetime devotee feels it must be staggering.
But this year, it was actually all okay. Still, it has to be said:
I'm leaving for Baghdad tomorrow. I'd drop an insightful paragraph or two, but I'm still trying to pack my shit. If there's one thing the military has taught me, it's that I can pack my entire life away in one day if I really need to. I've moved my entire life seven times just in the three years I've been in the military. Eleven times if you go back to 1999. I've been on fourteen planes in the past five months. I'll be on six more in the next three days (here to Santa Maria, to Baltimore, to Ramstein, to Bahrain, to Qatar, to Baghdad). I'll drop a line as soon as I get settled.
current mood:  pensive
current music: the new Atmosphere
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| Monday, August 29th, 2005
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12:20 pm - One quarter-century down
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We are not going to talk about my 25th birthday, because it was the worst fucking day in recent memory, except for the neat Japanese-themed birthday party my new friends in California threw for me. They got me a betta fish named Mr. Roboto (aka Roboto-san). That was cool. The rest of the day was a nightmare from the moment I woke up.
We are also not going to talk about how it felt on Saturday night when we all went to Ventura and I had to watch the guy I'd been seeing for almost three months, on the last night we'd get to go out before he gets out of the service and goes home and I'll never see him again, spend the entire night hitting on every girl he saw. (Oh yeah, I don't think I got to tell you folks that my boyfriend from Misawa dumped me like a pile of utterly forgettable trash less than a week before I left.)
No. We will not talk in-depth about anything negative. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Adrian as well! We are now more credit-worthy people with better car insurance rates and who will be less hassled when trying to rent a car. I can only thank the world for a mother who shuns marriage and could care less about grandchildren, because we are now at an age when some of my friends are getting pestered about the timeliness of their hopeful future families.
Speaking of marriage, no, thank you. I really don't think I ever will. I don't trust anyone that far any more. All I ever see people do anymore is cheat and scorn, and it would crush the life out of me if I managed to let someone in that far and they cheated. I've thought a lot about it since leaving Misawa, and I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen. I used to be one of those "love like you're never going to get hurt" kind of people, but the last hurt made a lot of stuff in me go cold. I won't say "never," but I'm already making plans to adopt if I'm still single by 30.
I'd write more, but I have a doctor's appointment for a fun close-up inspection of my business.
I bet you're all glad you checked Blurty out today.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: the ambient noise of being alone in the office
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| Monday, July 11th, 2005
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8:13 pm - Increase the peace
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I'm going to a very sandy place later this year. I'll be there for six months. And I'm not at all upset about it. It'll be one hell of an experience. Anybody want a "Who's Your Baghdaddy?" shirt while I'm there? I shit you not, the shirt exists.
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Cheap Trick - "Surrender"
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| Monday, June 27th, 2005
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9:59 pm - and the Nation takes a stumble
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Is it just me, or does this look anatomically hideously wrong?
Also, how the hell are the Red Sox gonna lose 7-0 after THAT streak?
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| Saturday, June 25th, 2005
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11:08 pm - I love the way I am and can't nobody out here change...um...
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Common's "Go" is a steaming pile of crap and Kanye West is a total ballsuck.
Also, the video makes the song even worse.
current music: Too much of "The Vibe - 103.3 - Hip Hop y Mas!"
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| Monday, May 16th, 2005
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3:59 pm
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Tired and headachey but here. Base very much pretty. All-encompassing fog. Sinuses still in shock. More later.
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| Thursday, May 12th, 2005
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1:54 pm - Already missing old Missy
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This will be my last entry from Japan. I'm heading back to the states on Saturday for my next assignment. I'd write more about the things I'll miss, but I'm getting sad and sentimental so I'll wait until I can give a more objective retrospective. I'll check in when I get set up at Vandenberg. If anyone needs place to stay in California, let me know.
current mood: contemplative
current music: "Just One of Those Things" -Blossom Dearie(Verve Remixed)
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| Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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11:12 pm
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I'm having a torrid love affair with my heating pad. I really, really want (need) to go to the gym, but for the second time in one month, I've managed to pull what I swear to Christ must be my entire fucking left trap, all the way from my upper neck to below my shoulder blade. I haven't worked out since Monday because I had my physical fitness testing on Thursday and Friday and I wanted to be rested and not sore, but now what should have been a 3-day hiatus has turned into almost a week (if you don't count the 31 push-ups in one minute, 42 sit-ups in one minute, and 1.5 miles in 12 minutes 19 seconds - yes, I'm totally bragging - that I did for my test) and I'm fiending, dammit!
The first time I did this to myself, a couple of weeks ago, it was an accident. I woke up that day with an abnormal twinge in my neck, but I figured that I'd hit the gym anyway and stop if the pain got any worse. When I made it through my whole shoulder and trap workout without a hitch, I figured it was safe to do abs and cardio. It was there, somewhere amongst three sets of crunches, that I fucked myself over completely. Despite my usual meticulous attention to NOT pulling at my head while doing crunches, I managed to yank that shit ALL out of shape. Of course, amidst the workout endorphin rush, I didn't notice how badly it was actually going until I finished 45 minutes on the treadmill and then tried to start my post-workout stretching.
I spent the next two days popping 5 or 6 Advil at a time and not being able to back into my driveway like every other resident of Japan.
This time, I knew exactly what I was getting into, but it couldn't be avoided. The day of the PT test, I woke up with that same twinge. If it had been any other week, I would have just taken it easy. But that day, I had my test, and "I have a stiff neck" is not a valid excuse to get out of it. I would have to my sit-ups and push-ups, which would bring about another muscular revolt. I was France and my neck muscles were the peasants and workers who weren't going to do any more menial shit like help me sit up straight or turn my head from side to side.
You're probably all wondering when the hell I became such a workout junkie. Well, I'm one of those sad people - if I don't do it full-on, every day, I'm not going to bother doing it at all. I possess no temperance whatsoever, so I fear that a couple days off will end up as a couple months off.
Therefore, I wait. I've watched two and a half seasons of Sex and the City, I've eaten several peanut-butter-and-chocolate-chip sandwiches, I've downed a lot of Advil, and for the first time I found enough motivation to search for a spare outlet to plug in my three-months-old-but-never-used heating pad. It's so nice.
Unfortunately, the combination of Advil O.D., carb slump, and heat has made me incredibly drowsy. I'm going to try to take a nap. But let's face it, folks - I don't wake up from naps that don't start until quarter to midnight. See you in the morning.
current mood:  sore
current music: The Roots, "Guns are Drawn"
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| Friday, March 18th, 2005
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7:00 am - So much for sleeping today
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Sometimes my hatred of the military outscores any possible good that comes out of being in the military. I haven't gone to group PT yet this week and I have to work tonight, so I decided to go to the 0700 session today. I leave my house at 0635 - which has always been PLENTY of time to make it to the gym. Yeah, well, at 0655 I was still stuck in traffic two lights back from the gate to base. I was never going to make it, so I pulled off onto a side street and headed home. I'll have to stay awake to go to the 1100 session. Ever since they started physically (instead of visually) inspecting each ID card as we enter the base, traffic has been a fucking nightmare.
8 weeks left in Misawa, folks. I'm all a-twitch. You know what I'm going to miss hard, though? Driving around at night. Last night, on my way home from getting ramen and paying my electric bill, I passed the road to my house and kept on driving. I started on 45 heading south to Hachinohe, then I ended up on 4 and went through Towada and halfway to Aomori. I hooked onto 8, which took me back to 4 for a bit, then hopped on 10 home to Misawa the other way. It was one of the best solitary, late-night drives I've had. After I got through Towada I flew headlong into this crazy thick fog. It was amazing - I was just zooming down these curvy roads, completely inable to see anything more than 10 feet away. I felt so light and calm. You know what's more important than being able to drive fast? Not having any other cars in front of me. If there's a car in front of me, I can be doing 80 mph and still feel like it's too slow. When the road is open, whatever speed I'm going feels like the perfect speed to me.
current mood:  okay
current music: "Bastards of Young" by the Replacements
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| Thursday, March 17th, 2005
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10:40 pm - Everyone's Irish
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Well, as far as storytelling purposes go, the St. Patrick's Day 2 years ago where I got drunk with the 45-year-old Mexican who kept proposing to me was far, far better than this year. I went to the Army party and everyone was playing cards. There were some righteous jello shots available (for each flavor of jello, the guy used the corresponding flavor of vodka...SO tasty) and music playing, but it was generally tame and slightly lame. You ever start the night out with a headache and then try to get drunk? It usually doesn't work. But watching people do kegstands is always amusing. Somebody backed into my car in the parking lot...I wasn't som much mad that they did it as I was amazed that, with all the room they had to maneuver, they *still* managed to hit my car.
Anyways...
Happy St. Pat's, Folks!
current mood: awake
current music: "Oceanwalk" by Astronautalis (cant...stop...listening!)
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| Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
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2:13 pm - By the numbers
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Papers I was supposed to finish by 2 pm Monday Tokyo time (midnight sunday EST): 4
Resolutions on partial-birth abortion that were finished on time: 1
Papers on UN Reform turned in 2 hours late: 1
Papers on the effect of Meyers-Briggs Personality Type on ability as a supervisior completed almost one full day late: 1
Papers supporting genocidal raping extortionist militiamen in the Congo that are 24 hours and 20 minutes late and have yet to be written: 1
Square feet regained by my and my neighbor's driveway when I went out to break up and remove ice because I was too fried to write any more: approximately 20
Boxes of Annie's Organic Shells with Parmesan consumed: 3
Boxes accidentally dumped on the floor and almost eaten anyway: 1
Ounces of caffeine consumed: less than you would think
Hours of sleep between Friday and Monday: 5
Hours of sleep last night after I gave in to the "it's already late, fuck it" argument: 12
Teachers (out of 4) who still assigned regular homework last week: 3
Regular homework assignments completed: 0
Teachers I hate: 3
Stupid crushes I've developed recently: 1
(Number of guys that could ever replace Ryan: 0)
Weeks until Ryan returns from Iraq: 2 or 30, whenever the Army makes their stupid decision
Weeks I have left in Misawa: 9 or 10, depending on what plane they put me on
Level of support for Congolese militiamen: 0
current mood:  crazy
current music: PJ Harvey, "You Said Something"
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| Monday, February 28th, 2005
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6:04 am - DNA commonalities
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Incredibly, just about the only differences between me and this guy are a Y chromosome and 1 year, 2 months, and 17 days.
Everybody, meet Mike, my Irish twin of a little brother.
I have to stop procrastinating and get back to my homework. And I have to resist the urge to buy Bejeweled 2 Deluxe. Which would lead to more procrastination.
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| Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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2:37 pm - Carole King didn't know shit about it
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I have to take yet another break from watching the Grudge. I'm sitting here in Japan, in my old, noisy, Japanese-ass house, and I'm freaked the hell out. There are too many things in this movie that characterize daily life here. I took a break a little earlier, played some Bejeweled 2 for a while, calmed down, and tried to watch some more. Well, a few minutes later, when Sarah Michelle Gellar's character opened the door to her house, I noticed that it's same exact one (same window and shit) as my bedroom door. Another few seconds, and she goes to check her answering machine. I HAVE THE SAME EXACT PHONE! AGHHHH!
I am never getting any more sleep until I go back to states. (11 weeks!!!)
In other news, the earthquake last night, while probably only the second or third strongest one since I've been here, knocked a whole bunch of shit over in my house. I live in the Aomori prefecture, so that's likely one of the closest quakes to home we've had. I normally love quakes, but for some reason this one gave me the willies. I was taking a nap because I was going to go work SSADD (giving drunks rides home) at 11 pm. I woke up scared for no reason at all at 9:36 pm, and everything started shaking about 10 seconds later. At first I thought it was just going to be your average quake - they start with a relatively slow and mild, long-wavelength, side-to-side kind of motion, then a faster, stronger rumble, which is usually where it stays for a minute, then it subsides into a subtle, low, rolling motion before stopping entirely. Well, this one went through the first two things, then it started shaking something fierce. I watched stuff falling in my room and heard stuff crashing out in the living room. After that, things felt seriously wrong, like the tremor was the work of a malignant presence that was still hanging in the air. I couldn't get the hell out of my house fast enough.
Now I'm gonna go try to watch the Grudge some more. I'll be back if that doesn't quite work out.
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| Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
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7:16 am - Get the funk outta here
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I must have had the spirits of George Clinton and the entire Funkadelic, the Ohio Players, Rick James, Cameo, Kool & the Gang, the Commodores (and for good measure Earth Wind and Fire, Curtis Mayfield, the Tower of Power, Outkast, and even Jamiroquai too) all trapped in my couch yesterday. For that was the funk I woke up to yesterday morning.
At first I thought it was the standard, mid-winter, no-fresh-air-in-the-house-for-3-months, stink of staleness, because I woke up on my couch from a 12-hour coma feeling about as pretty as anyone who sleeps that long usually does. I've been sleeping on the couch since Ryan left and I figured the couch and the house just needed to be aired out. Oddly enough, I had just changed the bedding on the couch (yes, I put sheets on my couch if I sleep on it) a couple of days before.
(Note: I am, by nature, a non-sweaty, non-stinky person. Due to some quirk of my biology, I do not produce oils and sweat at the same rate that most people do. I have to wait three days in between washing my hair or it turns to straw, I didn't even begin to need deodorant until I was almost out of high school, and I can wear the same pair of pants for a week and they'll still smell fresh. So having that smell in my couch, despite the fact that I usually shower before bed and thus am clean when I climb between the sheets confuzzled me a bit.)
So, first thing I do is strip the bedding (for the second time that week) and douse the whole couch with Febreeze. Let it air out. Nope, smell still there. Douse with yummy-smelling Lysol. Let it air out. Nope, still there. Okay, fine. On to the more serious plan.
I turn off the heat and then open every damn window in my house and then exit the premises for a while. I go out, buy a futon mattress that I can throw down on my tatami mats in the computer room and sleep in there instead, and run a couple more errands. I come back home, bundle up in some warm sweaters, and proceed to do housework for a whilie.
After about 3 hours of this, the temp in the house is hovering within a few degrees of freezing. Since I don't intend to blow up my pipes any time this winter, I shut the house back up and turn on the heat. I go to smell the couch and it seems fine. I sit on the couch and realize it is not fine. It still fucking smells.
I go on a sniffing rampage. Even though it's not a rotten smell (and I'm not a total slob), I check under the couch for a stray morsel of food or something. I smell the living room rug. I smell the heater to see if something died in there. I smell the kitchen. Nothing. I can't even smell the funk if I sniff the couch and the cushions up close, but when I sit down on the couch, there it is again. I'm pissed.
I finally take all the cushions off the couch, take the covers off the cushions, and then soak everything - cushions, cushion covers, and the now bare couch - with Febreeze. I spread all this stuff out around the living room to air out overnight. Throughout the night and into the morning, the couch, cushions and covers get repeated liberal dousings of both Febreeze and Lysol. Today I reassembled the couch. Sat down. No smell. Got up and did something else for a while. No smell. As of right now, I cautiously decree the smell to be gone.
I really think Rick James was trapped under my couch cushion.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: "Bring it Up (Live at the Apollo)" by James Brown
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| Thursday, February 17th, 2005
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3:45 pm - Not even kidding about the damn snow
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This shit has GOT to stop. I don't mind getting a bunch of snow every couple weeks, but it's been continuous, every day, for about a month now. No, seriously:
...and these pictures were taken AFTER the plow came through. And it's still. Fucking. Snowing.
( story )
current mood: sore
current music: "Bitchin' Camaro" by the Dead Milkmen
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| Friday, February 11th, 2005
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7:18 am - Fuck snow
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As I wait for my car to warm up underneath a foot of the never-ending Misawa snow, I figured I'd share with you pictures of what this place looks like in it's constantly snow-bound state.
I am so goddamned sick of this snow. Coming from a New Englander, that's harsh.
Preview!
current music: Tricky, "Evolution Revolution Love"
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| Saturday, January 29th, 2005
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10:17 pm - Feel better about your urban existence
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It's the cities, stupid.
It's snobbish in some places and downright arrogant in others, but it is also funny and sometimes painfully true. (If you like Bush, you're likely to get offended.)
Sample quote: "In the city, people ask you what you're reading. In the country, people ask you why you're reading."
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| Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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8:52 am
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I know I've been vewwy vewwy quiet. There's a reason; whether it's good or not is your own judgment.
Back at the end of July, right before I went on leave, I started seeing Ryan. I spent a great deal of my free time with him, leaving what very little was left (after work) to my four college classes and trying to maintain some semblance of a career (in the military, this is very different from simply showing up to work). That's why I wasn't writing before - it seemed like everything I had to say was building up and that I would neverbe able to write it all. So I'm making today a stop point.
Ryan and I are still quite together, with one snag. On the Sunday after Thanksgiving he was shipped out to Baghdad, and we only found out that Tuesday. For almost all of December, I was brave girl on the outside and very distraught person inside. I stayed in bed all the time but couldn't sleep, ignored schoolwork, and didn't clean my house. For all of January, I concentrated on getting my shit back together, dealing with school, preparing for the near future (I ship in May and still haven't received my assignment, have yearly and end-of-tour writeups), and still not cleaning my house.
Yesterday I started cleaning my house.
This is Ryan.
That is also Baghdad, in case you were wondering.
When Ryan is not smiling in a picture, he looks mean and scary. If you knew him in person, you'd find this as amusing as I do. (Read: he's a sweetheart and a softie.) This is Ryan, "I will kill you now" version.
Ryan also does an amazing Punisher. If you had seen this one live, you would have taken a couple steps backwards.
 
I still want to throw things when I think about the fact that he's over there. We had wonderful plans for the holidays. We had wonderful plans for everything. We still have plans...we have plans that include us having the rest of our lives to have holidays and all the rest. But as for right now, he probably won't be back here until after I've left for my next base; this is something that chews at me whenever I'm awake, and sometimes when I'm asleep. It is unbelievable how you can go from being alone to becoming so used to the constance presence of another person in your life that having them gone feels like someone just chucked you face-first onto the pavement.
And for levity's sake, this is what happens when trashed-ass people sing karaoke and try to take pictures. In picture number one, you have the Ensign, my boyfriend trying to sell Asahi beer, me, and Lanny. In picture number two, at bar number whatever (I *think* we started at the karaoke place), you have what the Japanese call PIG PIRE!
current mood: So fucking tired I can't sleep
current music: "West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys
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| Friday, October 29th, 2004
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4:33 am - RED SOX NATION FOREVER!
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1918 WHAT?!?!?!
Happy Halloween, folks!
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| Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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6:07 pm - I tried earlier...really, I did
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