| yay! |
[08 Jan 2004|08:02pm] |
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mood |
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guess what guys im still alive!!
ive been using my new journal at livejournal when i need towrite down soemthing now.
i am super busy and cant find time t osit and yupdate these things. im sorry incase anyone cares. if you ever wnat totalk just IM me or email me.
i still remebr yo uall and i hope you are doing good.
ive been painting and photogrpahing and writng songs and hangin out with the guys and working on school and lots more!
im quite excited about 2004, it looks liekitll be a greta year of new realtionships and fun times. i havea lot of new freinds and im involed in some new things...
life in whole has been hectic maybe but tis fun. im 17 now by the way. the pressure of being an adult is already aupn me, i need a job and i always have soemwhere i need to be. places to ahng ppl to visit... its a crazy life!
so thats all for now.. go check out my other journal if you wnat to. http://www.livejournal.com/users/rejected_from
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| yay! |
[08 Jan 2004|08:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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jazzzzzzzzzz |
] |
guess what guys im still alive!!
ive been using my new journal at livejournal when i need towrite down soemthing now.
i am super busy and cant find time t osit and yupdate these things. im sorry incase anyone cares. if you ever wnat totalk just IM me or email me.
i still remebr yo uall and i hope you are doing good.
ive been painting and photogrpahing and writng songs and hangin out with the guys and working on school and lots more!
im quite excited about 2004, it looks liekitll be a greta year of new realtionships and fun times. i havea lot of new freinds and im involed in some new things...
life in whole has been hectic maybe but tis fun. im 17 now by the way. the pressure of being an adult is already aupn me, i need a job and i always have soemwhere i need to be. places to ahng ppl to visit... its a crazy life!
so thats all for now.. go check out my other journal if you wnat to. http://www.livejournal.com/users/rejected_from
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| idk why but i thought it was funny |
[26 Nov 2003|04:55pm] |
xbaranturwenx: well mum is buying me a black and grey bed set
xbaranturwenx: so haa...buhbye pinkness w/ clouds
lilmisspistorius: you suck
lilmisspistorius: so does that
xbaranturwenx: hhahahahahahaa
lilmisspistorius: pink was soooo better
xbaranturwenx: lol maybe to you
xbaranturwenx:i made a design and on going to get fabric and make a cool comforter
lilmisspistorius: darn, i thought there was hope fpr you, with the pink bed and all, but i guess not now
xbaranturwenx: lol
xbaranturwenx: i have a pink shirt i waer sometimes
lilmisspistorius: WOW
xbaranturwenx: and sometimes i paint my nails pink
lilmisspistorius: take a picture and mail me it lol
lilmisspistorius: or scan it
lilmisspistorius: haha
xbaranturwenx: lol ok
xbaranturwenx: ill dress up pretty like a gilr and send you the pic
lilmisspistorius: well, wear makeup, cute girly jeans, do your hair cute, and your pink shirt and then i will pay you lol
lilmisspistorius: yes!!!!
xbaranturwenx: then il lsend you a pic of the real me in black boyclothes
lilmisspistorius: hahahaha okay
lilmisspistorius: cant wait
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| fill it out |
[26 Nov 2003|12:05pm] |
My name is _____.
I _____ Jess.
Jess is _____.
Jess thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Jess.
If I were alone in a room with Jess I would _____.
Jess needs _____.
Someday Jess will _____.
Jess reminds me of _____.
Without Jess i would _____.
Jess can be _____.
Worst thing about Jess is _____.
Best thing about Jess is _____.
I am ________ with Jess.
I want to ______ Jess like crazy.
If I could describe Jess in a word it would be: _______.
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[26 Nov 2003|12:17am] |
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[26 Nov 2003|12:12am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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um..... GOD ROCKS!!!!!!!, everyone neeeds to know it,
He is the only reason im here and kikin, woohoo rock on God!
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[25 Nov 2003|11:52am] |
hi, i would like to know if nay ever reads this anymore cause if not im dropping it....
oh and incase anyone cares LIFE IS GREAT
no posts = im very happy
i only write when im down and wnat soemone to care...
so anyways...comment if you read adn wnat me to keep up the posts, otherwise ill stop casue i have enough journals lol
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[15 Nov 2003|11:48pm] |
loss of self is offically using my basement and wow, it looks bloddy awsome and it kiks all! now my basement will rock your face off! but, i was sad casue no i wont be renting it out to any guys. my freidn made me feel better though. this is what my freind said...
"you used to let random hot guys live in your basement, now loss of self is in it and its a band room. but alls well, now there will be 6 hot guys down there at once 2x a week or more!"
hahah, good stuff
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| please help!!!!!! |
[29 Oct 2003|09:50am] |
hey could soemone who knows how to make journals "friends only" help me! i want mine to have a big pic and be frineds only like em...beautifulhatred and trashy_emo_fan. im sure other ppl ahve it to but thats what i mean. im so dumb at this journal creating suff so could soemone please help me!! i could also use hep with getting my words on the right side instead of in the middle. cheers!
love jess
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| slow days |
[29 Oct 2003|09:26am] |
i really dont have much of a life lol. but its ok. its given me time to think. all theses slow days...it hits home. ive learned a lot about myself and im finally able to agree and realzie that waht ppl have told me is true. i am slow and unorganized. im such a procrstinator and i can be snippy. im sick a lot and i can be a recluse. i guess seeing all this about myself should make me sad and depressed. well if i thought about it would. but this is where God comes in. with God its all so much easier and productive. instead of sitting here moping around and becoming depressed about my faults im sitting in prayer and letting God transform me. with His help i will chaneg these problems and become a better me in Him. thanks Lord, you make it all so much more worth while, and oh so meaningful
love jess
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| from smiles to teasr and back again... |
[24 Oct 2003|09:40am] |
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mood |
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drained |
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oh gosh sguys...i really need to write...life has been...so...AHH and GRR and UGH lol i could go on forever. theres someone in my thughts. but i dont know if he really feels the same. and i guess i just think so low of myself..hes too good. hes too wonderful to seem real and i guess i just deny his exsistence. but iwant him to be real. i want to hold him and love him and give him everything...im so pathetic...hes too far though..it kills me. i was sooo happy being isnlge. with everything that happened wit htarik..i wasnt going to sate anymore till i was 20 lol. then one night he just...showed up. and weven been tlaking everynight, last night is the 1st in a week we havent talked and of course alst night ibroke down. and its becasue of theses feelings. i cant explain them and im not in control and idk what to do. im praying to God for guidence but ive never felt this way about anyonea nd it is soo scraey not to mention we hanevnt met and that just makes me seem psychotic. but, i fdont have many freinds,...and the ones i do have i just cant tlak to. but he and i, weve been trhough all the same things and he acctually cares. and hes awlasy tehre. and he understands and is able not to just lsiten but to listen and feel for me. hes jus tan amzing freind, if i had the chance idgo to him and meet him and spend time with him and pray that we were able to make more of the situation. but...with certian circumstances...it wont happen soon. and im so unpateint. i try so hard to let it off and not be possed by such a dtirng feeling. noamtter what i do his name comes up, he sent me pics and i couldnt help but feel out of breath..and iwas justr freeking looking at pics! im messed up. can anyonehelp me here? what is this? its just so much to take in...and im so greatful for everything he does for me....hes amazing...and i like him....but...its hard gigivng the situation....idk...im dreaming and praying something happens...sicne trhursday ive become inspired, emotional lol but inspired. i wish he could see the extreme happiness hidden inside...but sunday night things happened with family and a freind and it sort of went down hill and im going trhough my won struggles with school and life in general and trying to beat down satan...ive cried a bit this weak. acctually alst night i cried for an hours...jus tsobbig..not little tears but i was litterally lieing in bed grasping my pillow and sobbing....and for what reason..idk...im so confused....but thats life so far...
oh and bear with me...
im redoing this journal again lol. i havea few ideas so im creating the abckround and such...i think since jess ahs taught mes tuff i should eb able to pull it off on my own..i hope...
take care kids
love jess
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| ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[24 Oct 2003|09:14am] |
IF YOU CARE!
I HAVE A NEW JOURNAL. its a journal of love and dreams. i wont share personla daily things. just wuotes and quick thoughts and poems and songs of mine and others...its just a place where i can talk about my heart...so you choose, to add or not to add....its username randdomoddity
love jess
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[23 Oct 2003|09:19am] |
No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the
trick is not to get frightened. There's nothing wrong with being alone.
-- Wendy Wasserstein, Isn't It Romantic, 1983
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream
only by night.
-- Edgar Allan Poe, 'Eleanora,' 1842
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[23 Oct 2003|09:17am] |
for anyone that cares i have a new journal now...ill share the name once its fixed up...its a journal for eprsoonal relfection and my writings. this is still where ill post personla information and this jouranl will stay freinds. the other will be public for now. take care
love jessie
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| stuarts song, suits me just as well... |
[21 Oct 2003|01:26pm] |
Artist: Smiths, The
Album: Meat Is Murder
Title: How Soon Is Now ?
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die
When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly do you mean ?
See i've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
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[02 Oct 2003|05:11pm] |
hey i need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a pic i want to make my an icon for on here but i cant figure out how to do it. its just a pic of a heart i made on my piant program if anyone can help lv a message please!!!!!!!! thanks so very much!
<3 jessie
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[02 Oct 2003|04:53pm] |
hey i need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a pic i want to make my an icon for on here but i cant figure out how to do it. its just a pic of a heart i made on my piant program if anyone can help lv a message please!!!!!!!! thanks so very much!
<3 jessie
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| thank you! |
[22 Sep 2003|08:28pm] |
i dont know about you but i find my journal to be lovely. id like to gove thanks to "jessika" a.k.a. alphabetsoup for her help. she is amazing and greatly appriciated.
thank you sooo much!!!!!! love and hugs <3
xxx God bless from jess xxx
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| tears and blood is all it takes...with help from God things can and will chage... |
[22 Sep 2003|08:26pm] |
there is soo much going on and so many feelings to desifer that i sometimes think ill burts. but this is the last week. teh last week of toment and pressure and unorganization...if i just push a little further and try a little harder and hoold the tears in aduring a bit more pain..then ill be free. ill be able to run and play again with the other kids. ill be able to sing and dacne and ly around with happyness. to soar high again and be able to just relax and have no worries. to get things done and to be on schedule. structure and random freeness. its all im asking for. and i know with hard work and much effort it will be mine. all in time..in Gods time. in my time. it just takes time. nothing can change and be new overnite..finny and gene tought me that...but with effort and work and dedication..a bit of tears and blood...it can and will turn around. it can and will be better and new. never ever ever give up! try and try and work hard and scream when it hurts too bad if you must. but do on and walk steadily. when they knowck you down dont seek revenge. it wastes your time. just get up and smile and use the anger to move fatser, quicker, lighter. push harder. you will make it someday. your worth it. you can change lives. you can make a diffrence. you are amazing and determined. never let anyone push you down or trhough you out. you are just as good as the other one. maybe better. be quiet when you must ans shout if you need. just remeber in time...with tears and blood...things will turn around and be better!
xxx God bless from jess xxx
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[22 Sep 2003|09:22am] |
*Near to the door*
* he paused to stand*
*as he took his class ring*
* off her hand*
*all who were watching*
*did not speak*
* as a silent tear*
* ran down his cheek*
*and through his mind*
*the memories ran*
* of the moments they walked*
* and ran in the sand (hand and hand)*
* but now her eyes were so terribly cold*
*for he would never again*
* have her to hold*
*they watched in silence*
* as he bent near*
*and whispered the words..*....
*"I LOVE YOU" in her ear*
*he touched her face and started to cry*
* as he put on his ring and wanted to die*
*and just then the wind began to blow*
* as they lowered her casket*
* into the snow....*
*this is what happens*
* to man alive.....*
*when friends let friends....*
* drink and drive.*
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