| NEEDLESS PANIC |
[04 May 2003|01:42pm] |
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It's driving me insane! The minute I got up today, can't update, can't reply! *growls* Is it any wonder I'm a blurty fan. Even with fuck ups this shit's got the best track record for staying working. I swear if Needless turns out to be like cooljournal and never working I will scream!...*sighs* Okay that's it for my Rant.
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| Chase a butterfly and what the fuck!! |
[01 May 2003|09:51am] |
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mood |
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cynical |
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music |
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JT-Never Again |
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Happy Birthday Matt.
There...I said the word Happy, though it wasn't directed to my state of being so I am safe. *shrugs* Last night was interesting right until I went into like a daze and fell asleep or something. (Actually Aim died sorry :( *kicks it*) So I guess that butterfly emitted sleeping gas and out I went.
Next thing I know Brody is sleeping with Joel!!? This better be a fucking Joke I swear! Brody and I haven't even gone...*blinks and swallows* uh... haven't gone to the zoo yet. I hear it's got alot of animals. *shakes his head*
If I'm awake I'll join in the festivities, but likely....I'll be moping in bed. If I growl don't touch me.
::Billy::
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| Not easy being the bad guy |
[29 Apr 2003|12:44pm] |
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mood |
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nauseated |
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music |
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Rancid -She's Automatic |
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I did what the fucker wanted, I hope he's happy as shit. Because I sure the fuck ain't. Just when I find something that actually pumps blood to my soul instead of drains it and I have to fucking let go.
Yes.
I let go.
Send the death threats to me.
I'm the bad guy.
You all think your so smart. That it's so easy to be bitter and calious, uncaring and so brutally honest that the puncture wounds cut your friends, families and even strangers deeply. Got news for you ignoranous. It's not. It's hard. To make it even worse, I just did the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Rip out a vital organ, that unselfishly beats because somebody made it, and stomp on it to get it to die.
I won't say I'm sorry because that's just words. I won't ask for Pity because I neither want it, nor deserve of it. Do what you can for the undisclosed one, who's wondering exactly what and why....I can't give her those answers. I can't give them to anyone. If I did...we'd all be in hell together. Sometimes the powers that be are stronger than the powers that were. But sometimes the guy pulling the puppet strings grabs ahold of the only thing that matters and squeezes it until it bleeds or you beg him not to hurt h...uhh it.
I'd rather beg, than waste the blood of the innocent.
Death becomes him.
::Billy::
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| Humans Suck. |
[29 Apr 2003|10:35am] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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Korn -Falling Away From Me |
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Animals are far better than homosapiens. I'll tell you fucking why since you asked and even if you didn't, like I give a shit. Animals tend to not talk back, unless it's a cat..then well it's typical of any pussy where it howls and gets pissy. *shrugs* Animals don't judge you, they don't put a pigeonhole box around you and label it. They don't leave you. They don't shit and piss where they sleep, they delegate a side of the cage or place in the backyard. They know when you are in certain e...uhh...they know when your pissed and not and how to react to that. They are your friends always, because they don't know any better. They own us, not the other way around.
*looks at the empty baggie and tosses igt in the garbage can stepping outside for a bit* I guess Brody's gone and fucked off. She said she was going to. Not that I care. It's her life, career whatever. *looks out at the morning light* It's like somebody opening a coffin the morning creeps in like unwanted oxygen invading a corpses natural preserve. *growls and heads back inside the hotel room to shower*
You know, I think maybe I should go check out a few clubs tonight, that might be...amusing.
::Billy::
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| I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream! Well Uhh... |
[26 Apr 2003|02:10pm] |
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mood |
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geeky |
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music |
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Mest -What's the Dillio |
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Okay only my girlfriend screams. But what a fucking set of pipes on that woman! Jesus Christ! *snickers and goes back to playing his video game* So I've been thinking and shit, yeah yeah....I know, Billy and thoughts....scary. But seriously thinking about crap, and I'm starting to like...uhhh clap more. Trust me to most people that makes no sense, but to people close....they kinda get the drift. I'll never say certain words so deal with it!
Note to self:: Find handcuff keys later.
So much has been going on, Paul's with somebody, Matt's not reading his labels, Everyone's telling me Britney is a bitch, haven't met her *shrugs* Like most people sure she's scared of me. Not that it matters she's not exactly the right design for my engine. Speaking of Engines, Mr. JT is coming out tonight to see the show and hang. I think that's pretty decent.
::Billy::
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| WTF...Why am I doing this?? |
[25 Apr 2003|03:15pm] |
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mood |
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devious |
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music |
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Silverchair -Across the Night |
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( grumbles, here...yes, here... )
Okay why did I just do that again??
::Billy::
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| Billy Apologizes for temporary insanity |
[23 Apr 2003|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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music |
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MxPx -Do your feet hurt |
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If I hugged, kissed, coddled or told you I loved you I was heavily medicated and just disreguard. *rolls eyes*
Other than that I...ugh...am..*clears throat* no longer single *blinks* Yeah, so drive-thru or some shit.
::Billy::
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| I just wanna sleep. |
[21 Apr 2003|03:04pm] |
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mood |
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forgetful |
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music |
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Marilyn Manson -Sweet Dreams |
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Everyone is telling me a bunch of shit. I don't know what is fact or fiction, all I know is my head is throbbing like it's going to explode an I have to lay down.
*flops on his bunk* If these people are my friends or whatever, you'd hardly know it. Am I like the anti-christ or something because alot of people seem to hold distain for me. I don't know if I am or am not dating this Jordan guy, if I am could he please come see me? Maybe a face would jog my memory?
*groans and curls up tight, yawning, closing his eyes* Just a small nap...I'll get up later.
::Billy::
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| T.Dot |
[19 Apr 2003|08:54am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Gc -Wondering (why the hell am I listening to the dog song) |
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Tour is going great, been a blast to have the NFG guys co-heading this one up, The Disturbed and Less Than Jake have been opening at various spots. Tonight were in Canada, T.Dot to be exact. Why the fuck do the local's call it that? Bunch of wankers, but it's decent. I can handle Toronto, in fact we have tomorrow off so I might hang around here. Easy enough to get around without too much fanfare. I hear there is a cool clothing store that *coughs*Chris Kirkpatrick*coughs* shops at near Much.
I'm screwing, he's an alright guy. Which pains me to say because his genre sucks hairy cock. Whatever, I'm going to check it out. I actually want to see if maybe I can get some Level 27 gear in there. Makes good marketing sense.
Joel and I argued and it got ugly. What the hell is with me fighting everyone lately? Brody? Joel? I don't fucking know. Anyways, I think that I'm going to just get over it. He's my brother you know? It was a lame ass fight anyways. And Joel better listen up because I will only say this once. I'm sorry.
::Billy::
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| People suck and everyone should die!!!!! |
[18 Apr 2003|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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irate |
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music |
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Type O Negative -Kill all the White People |
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Burning Flames Below
Reach up to receive my soul
Satan wins again
I'm not going out with Paul and Joel tonight, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with toothpicks then deal with anymore emotional bullshit tonight. Sometimes I just want to take the fine guitar wire and slit my wrists with it, using the blood like a fountain pen and autographing the sheets of all the people who piss me off in a day. Then I realize that that's an awful lot of blood to use up and I would pass out long before I got to the last room. Since I'm lazy, and not really looking to commit suicide, I usually vote against it.
Just ONCE! only once, I'd find it exhilarating, I'd like to just hurl and have all the nasty vile heartfelt feelings just pour out and leave forever. I don't want emotions. I don't have them yet somehow I end up with other peoples. Today was no different. I mean everyone seems to be having lovelife troubles and apparently I'm Dr. Love or some shit because I'm the one everyone's coming to about it. For the last time...
Love is a four letter word. Much like Fuck, Shit, Crap, Piss, and Junk.
Happiness is a false state the human condition creates to mask it's inability to handle the harshness of reality.
I do not smile. I'm fine with that.
*flips on the pay per view in the hotel and growls* Bite me!
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| Why do you wanna know? |
[17 Apr 2003|01:56pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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music |
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SilverChair -Abuse Me |
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One big punking brady bunch, that's what this tour is. It's crazy the shit...I mean stuff, that happens out on the road. But you can't ask for a better situation. Playing music, meeting fans, hanging with friends. This is more of a long lasting party, then it is a career. Anyhow, Intro's suck and this one is no different. Aim me up:: GCBillyMart.
::Billy::
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