Tuesday> 12:03:2002
     Ā” 06|55|pm ! 


    music = "Hey Nonny Nonny" - Violent Femmes

    I'm getting sick sick of people not showing up. First Otep Sunday night, and now yesterday the teacher to the Graphic Design I class that I need to be in. I needed her to sign a closed resgistration form so I can be registered for the clas. But no. She did not want to show. Hopefully nothing bad happened, for the traffic was bad. She is (maybe was?) a neat teacher. I've been trying to get my ticket refunded for the Otep show but Ticketmaster people of doom has to approve the refund first and I found out today that they will not refund my ticket because the main act still played. And I was not about to sit through four shitty bands with no Otep. But it is not so bad that Otep got canceled really. For one, I was (and always is) afraid to be around so many people I do not know. I worked myself into one hellov a nervous ball and it was no fun. I was actually kind of relieved it was cancelled, but also kind of upset. And for two, and most importantly, I got to talk to Lindsay for a long time and it probally would not of worked out that way if the show did go on. Talking to Lindsay was better than seeing Otep. It really was and is. Sunday I had brought along my Otep tape that I found at Homer's in the free section that had "T.R.I.C." and "The Lord Is My Weapon" and was released before the band's "Jihad" e.p. It was also the first thing I had ever heard of Otep's. I also brought along my purple Sharpie cause I wanted atleast Otep Shamaya to sign it. But, oh well. Like I said, talking to Lindsay was much better.
    I've recently come to the conclusion that I get literally home sick. For some reason the only place I can sleep well and be almost-fully-all-the-way comfortable is at home. I spent the night at my sister Rachel's with my two other sisters Wednesday night and at my gramma Bryan's for Thanksgiving and I got sick. I do not get sick often or really at all, but godfuckdamn. It also might be that my gramma accidently poisioned my sisters and I because she only cooked the turkey for two hours. It loooked done and the little thingy popped up. She just thought the oven was wonky and off. But it also might not be. I got like a fucking migraine and I felt naseous times ten. It also could of been that my body was lacking sleep. For I was wide awake and had not slept in a while. I stayed up all night awaiting for the glorious moment of my dad comming to pick me up. Rachel had to drive Eric to work and drop the kids off along with Sarah and Abby at her house with my gramma's car early Friday morning, because gramma Bryan can't drive at all really, and come back with the car and then my dad will come and take Rach and I home. I didn't get out of there until like fucking eleven a.m. on Friday. It was so happy to be home and to sleep in my bed. Although, when I awoke my arm was hurty. Then my arm got fucking worse in the days to come. Yesterday, the day before that, and today it hurt like fucking hell to move any which way. It's not so bad now but I fear it will get worse again when I awake again. I'm such a whiney bitch. And my gramma Bryan said she was going to buy me "grape" Converse All-Star high-tops for the christmas. I've never wanted any brand name thing in my life, but not too many makers of shoes make purple shoes that look neat. I can not wear combat boots no more because my feet have died and become the undead because of them. And I pretty much hate all other kinds of shoes cause they look horrid, but those Converse All-Star high top ones look really neat. Rachel says that gay men are going to hit on me if I wear them and people are going to call me gay. But oh well, fuck them. Being gay isn't bad. Generally gay people are really neat cause they are proud of who they are and have really great sences of humor. Well I do not know any gay people, but the ones on t.v. are cool. Although I really dislike those one gay people who think they are better than everyone else and anyone who is not gay is stupid. But I also hate people who think that about themselves and things they are proud of. But if I'm going to get mistaken for anything, it'll be a really fucking ugly girl. Which has happened quite a few times in my life. Having somewhere to call home is really neat. It'll be even better when I can get somewhere myself to call home.
    Wednesday> 11:20:2002
     Ā” 10|35|pm ! 
    "I'm so empty here without you"


    music = "The Last Day on Earth (live)" - Marilyn Manson

    Blurty has quite thee fucktarded name, I must say. But the site looks very nice. And Early Adaptor accounts really interest me because it makes me feel special, even though I am not in the least. I like uJournal better I do believe. I have an Early Adaptor account there as well but I do not like the name I chose much anymore. It cost fifteen dollars to change. If I had fifteen dollars I surely would not spend it on getting my uJournal account name changed. I would spend it on a few boxes of Count Chocula to seperate the marshmellow picees and the non-marshmellow pieces and contruct a large box similar to how Nerds candy has their boxes filled with two differnt kinds of Nerds. Like, where the box is seperated in the middle, and each side of the differnt Nerds has a spount. So therefore, I could control the number of non-marshmellow pieces to marshmellow pieces. Or, just have one big bowl of marshmellow pieces! I'm sure that would make one ill, times ten. Infact, my father found a bag of nothing but various marshmellow cereal pieces at a store and I thought it was the happiest day of my life. But it was not. I got quite sick. But, they didn't taste too good and wern't too fresh. Count Chocula has the best cereal marshmellows that money can buy.