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me ; friends ; pics

somethin isaac sent me... [10 22 034:24pm]
I don't have everything as a matter of fact I don't have anything except a dream of a better day and you to help me find my way being a man I am sure to make mistakes but to keep you I would do all it takes and if it meant my love was really true I'd gladly die and watch over you I wish you knew how much I cared you'd see my love is ture by the life we'd share even if you changed your mind and said our love was thru I want to I die continuosly cry and still I'd love u --tupac

love you, isaac
3 wangstas

party + bullshit [10 11 036:15pm]
Last night i wanted to go out but ended up sleepin' over isaacs house. his mom let me but they didnt tell his father. it was nice. hes soo infatuated with me now. it's crazy, what goes around defenitley comes around. he said he wants me to eat me up. the way he grabs me and squeezes me to death and kisses me ,scares me lol. im serious. i love him soo much and want to make it work but at the same time i wanna be out and party. i was gonna chill with mandy,mike and jabori but i told them i was stayin at the hospital with my grandma. shes sick ;[. i dont wanna tell mandy too much info about me. thas my home girl,i love her soo much but i dont wanna open up that much. not for a while anywayz..when her man comes back ,we'll see how everything goes down.

tonight im goin out with Becky. I havent gone out with her in a while. thas my smokin partner. me and her was soo bad last year i swear. we skipped,smoked,drank went out all the time.
i applied for a job at a beauty supply store..so we'll see how that goes. i need to money, foreal.

thas been it..no new updates

another day [10 08 038:28pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | wayne wonder-perfect proposal ]

me and isaac "parted ways" yesterday..one minute were goin' out..the next were not. this isnt new to me. i dont stress it anymore. its getting so old and irritating. i think its time for it to be completely over , cause he's been nothing but angry all the time and this isnt leading to anything good. if he really loved me and cared, he would be happy that i have friends to chill with but really he dont want me to find out what he fuckin does behind my back. when i had no friends during the summer i had no clue what he was fuckin doing and then once i got some friends i found out everything. he bitches at me over me chillin wit my friends. he wants to spend every minute with me and i want to too but i need to chill with girls for once. im so used to dialing his number constantly that i can dial without even paying attention. i meant to call my voicemail and i started dialing his number. i wasnt even paying attention to it ringing and then i hear some girl on his answering machine. so this niggas gonna put me through all that bitchin and shit, wanting to see me all the time and look how quick hes gotta bitch talkin on his answering machine? i was right about him all along. i could've been had some nigga on my answering machine to piss him off purposely but im not gonna do that lol what if im tryin to holla at some boy and i give him my number? lol hell no.

i eat way too much. i gotta stop.
i been doin so much make-up work this week cause report cards are in 2 weeks. i been stayin afterschool and all. i never do good in math..i gotta get my grades up.

this annoying ass boy kept askin me for my number the other day so i gave it to him. now he calls me non-stop. its hilarious...he asked me when ima hook him up with some clothes!!!!!!! i was dyin!! i told him,when i move outta my cardboard box!! then he calls me from 50million different numbers. he told me he was usin his next door neighbors phone while they werent home.he said he had the key to there house without them knowing..very impressing. why cant he just use his own phone?

pep rallys on friday..
as for this weekend i have no clue wha im doing. most likely i'll be with ricardo,mike,mandy and jabori. i love chillin with them. they make me lauph.
i hope something good happens soon, so theres a reason for all the problems and depression i've had for the past 4 months.


[08 23 0311:14am]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | jagged edge-heaven ]

friday i was kina stressed out at school. i couldnt even pay attention. i was contemplating on goin' to the nurse and callin' my mom to pick me up. finally goin' to 5th block i couldnt take it. someone told me isaac was makin out with this girl danielle when they were all chillin togedther. every day it gets worse. but im glad someone told me. then i went to the nurse and it said it was closed. so i figured i would walk around a lil bit. then the second lunch bell rang and i just stayed there. i saw charlie. i forgot he had second lunch. so we walked with me to get a soda and we sat down and talked. it was good,i was actually calm for a little bit. he made my day a lil bit better. so after school i met up with danielle,andrea and we walked to lilians house cause she had gerrels cell number. i called him up and he said he was gettin some more weed and he would be over in 30min. we was pissed but we was ight. then john,franky and omar wanted to buy some so they stopped by lilians house. im gerrels secretary lol. i got everybody to buy a bag from him. we walked to the park and waited till gerrel came. we went and got andrea's camera..i cant wait till we get those pictures. everybody was doin some stupid shit. omar got caught in the baby swing lol!! ooh shit that was a kodak moment. we smoked 2 blunts and just chilled. i been dyin to smoke all week lol even though i already smoked tuesday. i smoked way too much though. i had most of the blunt. then we got to lilians house and i felt like i was gonna throw up but i aint even eat anything all day. i was layin on the bed and everybody downstairs gettin sayin bye but not leavin..so i would mumble bye and then they would keep talkin to me...finally i just yelled "well ya fuckin leave already so i dont have to say bye anymore..i feel like ima puke " they was like ight then daym.
so john stayed down stairs with lilian and everybody else left. i go walkin down the stairs and all of a sudden my stomach started feelin queezy. i was like "oooh no, uh oh" and i ran back up. john was crackin up. so i yell " yo i got nuthin in my stomach,whas gonna happen when i puke?" john goes..."well shit acids gonna come up" i was like hell no. lol i got u and sat on the kitchen floor watchin them eat. john was lauphin cause i was fallin everywhere. then i had to look right cause my mom was pickin me up.
i got home and got ready for charlies party cause becky and duncan were comin' to get me already. i got dressed and tried to eat a little bit and becky came quick. so i had to hurry up. then duncan went to mikes house. we all sat on the porch drinkin a lil bit of hennessy and we smoked a blunt. we smoked with shawn,mike and darren. darren be makin me lauph. hes too funny yo. then mike was givin me a long story about how hes tryin to stay faithful to his girlfriend and i told him he better. then he goes " i would holla at you but im with my girl". i go " good dont".
we bounced to the party..it was at the comfort inn. it was packed in there and dark as hell. there was madd niggaz there..too many niggas. and not many girls. i finally found charlie. he was just everywhere around the party. he was happy and i was happy for him. i danced wit a couple of niggaz but they was all jumpin up and down and elbowin eachother. it was retarted. i got stepped on ,hit, and pushed. and it was too dark to see anything. then fights started poppin up. like 3 diff fights. charlie was gettin pissed. i guess he was arguein with the dude that was fightin. and they started fightin. everybody was holdin charlie back. 5 niggaz had to pick him up in the air and carry him away..then he went around some nigga and started runnin towrds the dude. i forgot i had his cell on me. i was holdin it for him. i felt bad. but my ride had to leave. i knew some shit like that was gonna happen. niggas from the south are soo stupid. they purposely go to a part jumpin up and down hittin and pushin eachother,get into a fight and then everybody gets kicked out.
i got home and peoples was callin charlie like crazy. then around 10 this morning jerrel called me. i was gonna let him borrow some cd's and we smoked. i would call charlie but its 12pm. i dunno wha hes doin. i felt so bad. he was real happy. i got no clue of wha im doin today..i'll prolly go out with tony and davon tonight.

2 wangstas

[08 20 0310:52pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | foxy brown-saddest day ]

i found so much shit out about isaac yesterday. all summer he's been gettin' drunk with my x-friend christen. the girl i cant stand and begged him not to talk to. we've argued about this before. all summer he can't get me a ride anywhere but he can shure give "christen the hoe" a ride. all his boys have had sex with her. i chilled with a whole bunch of girls, who isaacs been hangin' out with all summer. he taped christen havin' sex with all of his friends. he disgusts me...right after school me,jerrel,kareem,andrea and danielle went to kareems house. i bought a bag and everybody matched me. i smoked like 4 blunts and chugged kareems jamaican rum ( on an empty stomach). me and andrea finished that shit up. plus i had to walk home. i almost fell..jerrel wanted to tow me on the bike but i was too fucked up. finally we got to jerrels house. i chilled there...jerrel trys to hard. he doesnt listen...everytime we chill he thinks theres gonna be a different out come...NOT lol. then alton picked me up and took me to lilians house. lilian kept tryin' to go to sleep and i kept wakin her up lol. i was all up in her face. then i called isaac and left him about maybe 4 er 5 foul ass messages. i dont remember shit i said. then i passed out. i called my mom and she came to pick me up. she told isaac not to call the house anymore...good its working. i called charlie. hes sweet. hes a goody goody..doesnt smoke,is on the football team/basketball team and is a junior. very smart. his birthdays tommorow.
today was okay. it keeps raining..and along with the rain matches whats goin' on in my life.
i came home , fell asleep and then pun called me and asked me to go to the movies. he picked me up and we saw freddy vs. jason that movie was CRAZY!! lol i was lauphin'. then i stopped at publix to get charlie a birthday card. friday me and becky are goin' to his birthday party at the comfort inn . im tired as hell...


1 wangstas

[08 20 034:10pm]
wanna be added? comment please...

crazy shit [05 27 034:16pm]
i just watched that chicago hazing event on Oprah. Watching that shit fuckin pisses me off. Im gettin soo fuckin heated. Seein all them seniors beatin on the juniors and throwing shit,fish,garbage and tons of other crap on them. Pulling the girls hair,punching them..one girl was bleeding so bad in the head. If i was one of the juniors i would've fucked them seniors up. I would've came back wit a gun and shot them the fuck up. The fuckin juniors were sittin there takin it. it makes me sick..i wanna fuckin puke. i wish i could find those girls and kill them.
3 wangstas

[02 05 035:14am]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | vanessa carlton-pretty baby ]

i figured i make another journal since ima be bored and i wanna get shit off my chest. im not gonna write any real personal shit but just thoughts and things.soon is gonna be friends only. so if you wanna be on my friends list ask.


P.S.ty mira

24 wangstas

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